Lost Cause
by bonnysammy
Summary: A woman awakes in a forest. She is lost, alone and has practically no memory. Three members of the Cullen family find her and take her to their home. But everything is not as it appears, especially not with the girl. ExB AU
1. Encounter

A woman awakes in a forest. She is lost, alone and has practically no memory. Three members of the Cullen family find her and take her to their home. But everything is not as it appears, especially not with the girl. How can the little she knows to be true actually be possible? It could be said that anything is possible when thrown into a world of myth.

Follow along as she travels on her journey to find, forgive and move beyond her past, all the while finding herself and something for which she never knew she was looking.

This is mostly an E/B story though other loved and not so loved characters will be involved.

* * *

1. Encounter

The sound of liquid dripping onto leaves leaked into my consciousness, waking me from what felt like an extremely deep slumber. My head was heavy and foggy. As a result, I was quite confused and disoriented. I opened my eyes to find myself lying prostrate on the leaf-covered ground of a very wet, very green forest. I scoured my brain for some recognition of my surroundings, but I wasn't in a familiar place. Of course, the haze and drowsiness filling my head didn't help in illuminating my current situation_. _

_How did I get here? Come to think of it, where on earth _is_ "here"? And why can't I remember anything?_

Comprehension and fear caused by my circumstances began to fill my mind. I was lost in what appeared to be a desolate, unknown place. I couldn't hear signs of human life, and I was terrified. I laid on the soggy ground trying to remember something . . . anything. After a while of straining to bring my past back, only two things came from my blank memory: my name, Isabella (it seemed I preferred Bella for short), and my birth date. Of course, this tiny amount of information didn't help even the slightest amount in regard to the situation in which I now found myself.

I looked around in an attempt to find anything that would indicate this was some sort of odd dream. Maybe a fantasy based on a long-forgotten cartoon once viewed in my childhood had permeated my subconscious. I half expected flying pastel ponies, talking forest animals, or _anything _mythical to glide by, aiding me in the realization that I was hallucinating. I would take anything to persuade me that _this_ was not reality; even an annoying dancing purple dinosaur singing show tunes would be welcome.

Or maybe by scanning my environment I would find some means of escape out of these circumstances. There could be some kind of MacGyver-esque move I could make to free myself.

_Is there tin foil, paperclips or bubble gum around? I could use that to make an airplane. What I wouldn't give for a wheelbarrow and a holocaust cloak; that would at least be something._

As I expected, everything in the vicinity was too authentic, too real; there was nothing that allowed me to delude myself into thinking that I was dreaming. And, my assets were limited to the clothes I was wearing, leaving me unable to fashion a flying device of any sort.

_Could this be a nightmare? No, it's not that either. There isn't enough horror. Where are the zombies or serial killers? Nightmares should have monsters roaming the forest searching for their next kill . . . or convert._

Naturally, my surroundings were of no further use than the basic "you are in a forest;" they did not help pinpoint my location, or a way out, at all. All I could see was green leaves and brush as well as patchy brown tree trunks that were mostly covered with emerald-colored moss.

_Oh, good! More green. Is there any other color around here?_

Although the area in which I found myself may have been the greenest place on earth, it was breathtakingly beautiful, stunning even. But, beneath the awe I felt at that splendor was the dismay that nothing of use appeared to be within the vicinity, _nothing_.

Before I allowed myself the indulgence of despair, I stood up, hoping that something--anything--helpful, would be brought to my attention when the world was viewed from a different perspective. As before, there was absolutely nothing but the false serenity of the surrounding woods, cloaked in varying hues of jade and olive. The trees above were so bushy, I couldn't even tell what time of day it was as I was not able to see the sky. I briefly wondered if I'd ever see the sky again, but banished that thought before I let it take root.

I noticed that it was relatively chilly but without the intangible feeling spring usually brought. I was thankful for the thick, bulky parka I was wearing; at least I had one positive in my present condition. So, I believed it must be late fall. This comforted me as it went along with the time of year I somehow expected it to be. I walked, pacing in circles for what seemed like ages. As I ambled, I tripped on many obstacles, most of which appeared to be non-existent. Quite a few times, I found myself either on my hands and knees on the forest floor or slammed into a tree.

_Am I always this clumsy? I'd like to think this is not my usual state, a constant damsel in distress. I really wish I could remember something._

I tried not to focus on this enormously negative element of my current situation and continued to wander, determined to find some way of exiting the trees. The air and ground felt sodden and as time passed, I began to grow more and more uncomfortable in my damp clothes and shoes.

When I felt my legs could take no more, I finally sat down on the moist ground, trying to find the driest area, to no avail; it was all so very wet. I stared at my hands, now caked in mud from their numerous encounters with the drenched ground, and pondered my next move.

After situating myself as comfortably as possible, I rested my head against my knees and squeezed my legs to my chest, resigned to the fact that I had no idea where I was and had no hope of getting out or being seen. My feet and lower legs were freezing from the saturated material covering them and from the chilly air. I could not see more than ten feet above me and from my limited exploration, I could not find anything but dense, green, saturated forest. At that exact moment, I was beyond hating that color and anything wet or cold.

I became angry, internally shouting at myself for being stupid enough to have somehow gotten into this situation. I didn't know how I could have done this, but since no one else was here, it was obvious I did something wrong and put myself into this mess.

As I wallowed, I listed my disadvantages. I tried to find some positives in my situation, but there did not appear to be _any_. I couldn't think of myself as a "nature" type, though I couldn't be sure. I didn't know if anyone was looking for me and if they were, how would they find me?

Though extreme, I closed my eyes, letting the idea of a slow, torturous death envelop me and I started bawling. I tried to tell myself to stop being so overdramatic. I tried to quit pitying myself, but I was unable to. I would allow myself this self-indulgence for now. After a while – I was not sure quite how long, but my tears had run dry and my sobbing had turned to strained whimpers – I heard a soft voice, an angel's call, chime from the forest.

"Hello . . . Is anyone there?" The female voice sounded like a cherub, a pleasant and musical soprano. The sound of another creature took me aback and I stopped blubbering, surprised that someone had found me. Again I heard that beautiful intonation, "Hello?"

After another few seconds, I was finally able to make it through the stupor that the shock of hearing another person caused. "Hey! I'm over here...Please help," I replied hoarsely.

A tiny girl, appearing to be in her late teens, broke free from the tree line and entered at the other end of the small clearing in which I was situated. She was absolutely gorgeous with short black hair standing out in all directions. She was very thin and she looked like a slight breeze could knock her over, though she had an aura of sturdiness. She stared at me; her eyes had a look of excitement that was almost contagious.

She smiled again, the sight brightening her already beatific face, and moved toward me with a grace reminiscent of ballerinas. I stood up clumsily and tried to smooth out my filthy, damp clothing.

"Carlisle, Esme, I've found someone over here," she called when she was still a few yards away from me. She grinned at me again and introduced herself. "My name is Alice. Do you need help?"

Her eyes unfocused, her face became expressionless, and for a brief moment, she seemed to lose herself. When her focus returned, her impassive face was graced by a broad grin, elevating her past angelic status. Beneath her beauty a ripple of excitement seemed to pass through her, causing her to look even more beautiful than before.

_Is that possible?_

I half expected her to start quivering or jumping in place.

Then, her mood quickly changed. Coming to a halt a couple of feet away, she tentatively asked, "Are you hurt?" This seemed in direct contrast to her previous attitude and appeared odd coming from someone who almost exuded childlike innocence.

I performed a quick and somewhat obvious assessment. "No, I don't think so...But, I _am_ lost. Where are we?"

She sighed and stepped closer, holding her hand out to me. "I heard you crying, and I was hoping I could help you. Since you're lost, I'm glad I stopped to lend a hand. Let's start at the beginning. What's your name, and why are you sitting here all alone in the middle of the woods?" she practically sang to me. Her eyes, the strangest shade of brown that I had ever seen, almost...golden, sparkled as she looked at me.

"My name's Isabella, Bella for short. As for the second part of your question..." I trailed off when I noticed two other figures entering the clearing near the same spot Alice had. A man and a woman, both quite young, maybe in their mid twenties, were walking toward me with their hands intertwined. They looked at me and then back to each other, beaming.

"This is Carlisle," Alice pointed to the tall, golden-haired man, "and, this is Esme." She gestured to the curvy though slight woman with light brown hair. Just like Alice, both Carlisle and Esme were unbelievably beautiful and they seemed to radiate good will. Their attractiveness made me wonder whether there was a convention of models hiking through the forest.

_I mean, how often do you see three such gorgeous people together in one place?_

Like Alice, they had that odd hue to their eyes. As they strolled over to me, I noticed that they moved just as gracefully as she did, as well. All the impediments that caused the demise of my balance did not even seem to hinder them in any way; they avoided the obstacles seamlessly.

I was so grateful that these people had somehow been in the area, though I found it odd that they appeared immaculate when they had to have been on a hike.

_Why else would they be in the middle of a forest? _

"Carlisle, Esme. This is Bella. She is lost and can use our help." Alice introduced me, and again Carlisle and Esme grinned at each other.

_These are some really cheery people. I wonder if there are any more happy pills around. I could use an attitude adjustment right about now._

Carlisle approached me and bent down to shake my hand. "It's lovely to meet you, Bella. I can definitely help. I'm a doctor."

_Doctor . . . what? How old is he? He does _not_ look old enough to be a doctor._

"Have you been hurt? How long have you been out here? When did you last eat?" He had a beautiful, mellifluous voice that put me at ease within seconds.

_Nice bedside manner._

I grasped his hand - it was so cold - and shook it briefly. "Thank you, Doctor..." I trailed off again when I realized I did not know his last name.

"Cullen, Doctor Cullen. Of course, I expect you to call me Carlisle." He smiled at me again, overwhelming me with his splendor.

In order to prevent myself from looking like a complete fool, I decided to look away from him and answer his questions. "No, I don't think that I have harmed myself in any way. As for your other questions..." I paused, debating whether I should tell them everything.

They may not have been as nice as they appeared. But, since I had no other option, I decided to be completely honest.

I looked toward the ground, embarrassed that I had gotten myself in the present circumstance. "I don't know the answers to any of your other questions. I don't remember much before I woke up here." I pointed to the spot where my day had begun, the place I was currently situated. "I'm pretty sure I've been wandering for hours, but I've lost all sense of time. I've wracked my brain trying to remember something, and I can only recall two things about myself." I rushed, as if saying the words quickly would make them easier to handle.

I realized that my situation was now beyond pathetic; I was stuck in a forest with three people I didn't know and, in fact, I really did not even know myself. "Name and birth date...A whole life and that's all I can remember. How miserable," I muttered under my breath while biting my thumbnail and staring at the ground dejectedly.

"You don't remember anything else?" Carlisle questioned.

I looked up and noticed that Alice and Esme had moved to the edge of the clearing, where they were having a quiet conversation.

_How did they move over there so fast? They'd just been next to us when I looked down, and I hadn't heard them walk away._

I turned back to Carlisle. "No. Unfortunately, there is nothing else before I woke up here."

He smiled at me, trying to make me feel at ease, I surmised. "So, Bella, when were you born, since that appears to be the only other fact you recollect."

I cocked my head to the right and my eyebrows knitted together in surprise. I was amazed he'd heard me before. I had spoken so quietly. "I was born on September 13, 1974 . . . What year is it?"

"It's currently late November of 2004," Carlisle explained.

"Hmmm. Thirty?" I thought for a minute, allowing the thoughts to spin around in my mind.

_Is thirty right? Yes. I'm sure that's correct. I don't know why, but it just feels right._

"Yes, definitely. I am thirty."

_I can't believe that I have lost over thirty years._

He nodded while his eyebrows furrowed over his eyes, and he stared at me incredulously. Then, he looked at the others, his expression wary. The others wore similar masks of shock and disbelief.

_What a peculiar reaction._

"What? Why is everyone acting so strangely?"

"It's nothing. You just look rather young for your age," Carlisle answered, while Alice let out a slight giggle. "And, you don't remember anything else?"

I shook my head and looked down again. I was about ready to open the waterworks like before, when Esme spoke.

"Carlisle, since she is obviously well enough to travel and quite uncomfortable and we cannot leave her here, let's take her to the house. We can make her more relaxed and discuss her memory loss and options there." It was the first time I had heard her speak. She, too, had a lovely voice.

_Wow! Great looks and great voices. These people could be not just models, but movie actors. How unfair!_

"Oh!" Alice stood up and clapped her hands together. "Yes, Esme. You're completely correct. Everyone will love her."

"Yes, yes. I also agree that it's probably best to get her indoors and out of these damp clothes. Bella will most likely need to stay with us, at least for the night. " He shot a pointed glance at both Esme and Alice. Esme smiled and nodded, while Alice's eyes unfocused again. After a brief moment, Alice looked at Carlisle and nodded emphatically.

Carlisle briefly explained their situation. He and Esme were married and lived in a house nearby with their five adopted children. Each of these kids had lived with the family for years and were near the age of adulthood.

Alice was one of those children and had a husband, named Jasper. There was another couple, Emmett and Rosalie. And last was a single guy named Edward.

I debated going along with them to their home for a ridiculously short period of time and decided to join them. After contemplating the issue, what other choice did I really have? I could gamble and possibly get to a warm, dry place. Or, I could stay where I currently was and have no hope of survival.

Since their house was relatively close and I wasn't injured in any way, we began the trek to their house.

As my overwhelming relief I felt began to wane, trepidation kicked in. I hoped I had made the right decision, though I also thought I really didn't have much of a choice. I had chosen what I considered the lesser of two possible evils. I wasn't sure they would have even left me there and that had to count for something.

They had to be "good" people if they were willing to take a bedraggled stranger into their home without asking many questions. Besides, since Carlisle was a doctor and both he and Esme had taken in so many needy children, they had to be kind and compassionate people. From all I had seen of Alice, aside from that oddity in the clearing, she had seemed to be a perky, friendly person. I could not imagine her harming a fly.

After we had been walking approximately ten minutes, I began to calm. This tranquility allowed me to study my trio of saviors more closely.

They moved gracefully - unnaturally so - through the forest. It was almost disturbing how fluidly they moved and it made me slightly uncomfortable, losing the slight peace I had begun to feel. I tried to shake this feeling as none of them had displayed any form of hostility, but the more I looked, the more I was aware that they appeared too perfect.

There was not a speck of dirt to be seen anywhere on them, even though we were in the middle of the forest. They were impeccably dressed which seemed odd for a day out in the woods.

_I mean, who dresses like that when they are bound to get filthy?_

Alice, though she was tiny, especially looked like she could have been modeling on a catwalk, not traipsing through sopping, rotten leaves and mold. And, even though that was exactly what she was doing, she remained dry and pristine. I looked down at myself. I was covered in a layer of mud and bracken. I knew I'd fallen quite a bit and that the amount of times I'd tumbled was above normal, but my appearance seemed more apropos for a day surrounded by nature, than theirs.

I looked at them even closer. Their faces held _no_ flaws. Not even a slightly asymmetric nose, or something.

_How's that even possible?_

Their looks were almost...inhuman, and this seemed strange.

There were so many missing pieces, but I decided not to mull on these. I had made my decision to follow these people and I was going to follow through. Oddly enough, it was a dangerously easy decision to live with.

* * *

End Notes:

Thank you again. I hope you enjoyed it.


	2. First Sight

**A|N**:

I can't believe I forgot this portion on my last chapter. I was so nervous I was going to chicken out that I just needed to post it quickly before my nerves got the best of me. So, I lacked the proper etiquette.

I plan Lost Cause to be all BPOV. I expect to write a few extras in other POV's. But, there's more about that in my End Notes, if you're interested.

I must say that I did not expect anyone to even be interested in this little story! I am astonished that people are actually marking it as a favorite. Thanks for the reviews. I am new to _this_ side of the fanfic process, so it is greatly appreciated. Although some of this has been written for months, actually posting _anything_ is brand new to me. I hope you continue to enjoy this tale and that I don't disappoint anyone. I am terrified that my attempt at writing will be a letdown.

As always, thank you Project Team Beta. Your insight has helped me move beyond what I thought was possible in my writing. To Anyone thinking about using a beta, I strongly suggest you take advantage of their services (the link is in my profile). I can't praise them enough.

In addition, special thanks goes to Strider! You rock. Thank you for answering my bothersome lists of questions.

Thanks again to SaraiR88 she has helped boost my confidence in posting this story.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

Without further interruption, I bring you Chapter 2:

* * *

2. First Sight

"Do you need to rest?" Carlisle inquired after we had been walking for some time.

The pace they kept had been extreme and I was amazed that I was the only one who seemed affected.

_Too perfect_, rang through my head again. I ignored the warning.

Even though no one else was even slightly winded, I realized I had neared my limit for the time being. I nodded an assent to relax for a moment; my feet were aching from rubbing against the inside of my sodden socks and shoes. "Yes, please. I'd appreciate that."

Alice decided that she didn't need to rest, so she trekked on ahead of us. I am sure she went to warn the others of my impending arrival. If the rest were anything like my impromptu rescuers, my haggard appearance would have probably been enough to cause alarm.

I rested for a few minutes, enough time to calm my rushing pulse. After I felt slightly better, we continued on the rest of our journey. It was only a short while until we reached a clearing that surrounded what I assumed to be their house, though the term _house_ hardly did it justice.

An enormous estate, painted a soft, muted white, stood three stories high in the large field surrounded by the woods on the three visible sides. In the same clearing were several large trees that shaded the front yard. There was a large, inviting wrap-around porch encircling the first level. I could just imagine myself lounging there, enjoying a good book. This gorgeous home framed by the perfection of the forest was a setting you would only see in dreams, or a Hollywood movie.

_Is everything about them so ideal? I felt like I had stepped into a real life incarnation of a Norman Rockwell painting?_

As we neared, I noticed Alice sitting on one of the chairs that were scattered intentionally about the porch. I hadn't noticed her there on my first scan, but I guessed I had been too enthralled by the house.

"Welcome home," she chimed when we were within a few yards. For some reason, this greeting caused me to feel slightly uncomfortable, triggering a blush. It must have been because everyone was so accommodating thus far.

We climbed the stairs up to the porch and entered the house. Of course, I tripped in the doorway. Luckily, I actually caught myself and balanced before I slammed into the floor.

_Way to make a first impression, Bella_.

The shock of the beautiful front room took me by surprise; it wasn't like I had thought it would be ordinary, I knew it would be exceptional, but it was so different than the traditional exterior promised. It was enormous, airy and modern. Everything, including the furniture, was so _light_ varying from white to softened beige. The open area looked like it took up most of the first floor, covering all the way to the back of the house. This room was so large that I could imagine it once had been multiple rooms. The unexpected part of the house was the back wall. It appeared to be one huge window from ceiling to floor. This allowed for exceptional views of the backyard. As I looked out, I saw a gorgeous garden that ended at a river. On the other side of the river, the forest encroached.

"Esme and I need to settle a few things. We'll be in the kitchen, should you need us," Carlisle informed me as the two of them made their way across the room. "Alice, please take Bella's coat and then introduce her to the rest of the family."

Alice held out her hand and I removed my filthy coat. She grimaced at it and I felt guilty for making her handle the shabby thing. She then removed her immaculate jacket and placed both on a bench near the door. I noticed how she gingerly placed mine over the wooden arm, while hers was thrown on the back, obviously allowed near the off-white cushions.

"Follow me, Bella," Alice trilled, her excitement threatening to overtake her calm demeanor once again.

She led the way into a large sitting area, situated near a grand and commanding staircase. As we neared, I noticed a young couple in their late teens or early 20s sitting on one of the couches. They quickly glanced in our direction upon hearing our approach.

The girl was spectacular, or maybe majestic would be a better description. She was much more beautiful than anyone I'd ever seen. That was saying a lot after having been witness to the splendor of Alice, Carlisle and Esme. "Supermodel Barbie" looked like she had just come from modeling at a photo shoot or maybe from some sort of hair product commercial. It was hard to see how she could be real. Beauty like that was usually reserved for airbrushed photos in magazines. I mean, this girl was absolutely breathtaking with long, flowing, perfectly-styled blonde hair. I felt slightly self-conscious as I was sure I looked disheveled and my hair looked like a rat's nest in comparison, especially after my time in the forest. Her exquisite face and locks were matched only by the perfection of her figure. As she eyed me, her nose wrinkled, and her eyes turned hard, analyzing my presence. She scowled in a manner that stated "don't bother me; I can't be bothered with you," and turned away allowing her focus to return to whatever had held it previously. She was obviously someone you did not want to cross and from her reaction, my existence in her home appeared to have done just that.

Next to the Aphrodite sat an enormous young man.

_Adonis, I presume? They seem cozy enough to be lovers. And, he is certainly handsome enough to carry the name. _

As I examined him more closely, I noticed how humorous it was to see him near Alice, going from one extreme to the other. He was tremendously muscled, beyond what was usual for even a weight-lifter. He had short, dark, curly hair. Even with his overwhelming size, he had the kindest face, almost child-like. He reminded me of a large, over-stuffed teddy bear as he sat on the couch grinning slightly. He rose to his feet.

_OK. Maybe a terrifying Grizzly Bear is more appropriate_.

A huge, mischievous smirk appeared on his face.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here? Fresh meat?" he questioned with a chuckle.

I started to feel a little uncomfortable (_OK, little _isan understatement) when a tall, blonde boy made his presence known at the top of the stairs.

"Relax, Emmett, I believe that you're terrifying our new guest," he said as he descended the stairs towards us. He stopped at the bottom, eying me guardedly. Suddenly, I felt the oddest sensation, almost like a wave of calm crashing into me. That weird feeling, coupled with the exhaustion I was experiencing, caused me to relax so much that I nearly passed out. I started swaying in place, and grabbed Alice's icy arm to steady myself.

_Whoa! She is way too cold. And her skin is hard. Not like muscle hard, but like she is made of stone._ _How weird!_

I was about to question Alice about the texture of her arm, when I was cut off by a male voice that distracted me from the unusual feel.

"Hey, Jasper! Tone it down, man. You nearly knocked her out," replied the hulking man I took to be Emmett. He was still wearing that overexcited grin.

_What_ _did he mean by asking Jasper to _tone_ it down? _He_ was the one who was overbearing. _

"I'm Emmett, by the way." He smiled wider at me. "And this" he gestured to the blonde beauty still looking away, "is my gorgeous wife, Rosalie." She made a scoffing noise and turned again to glare at me. It was completely obvious she did not welcome my company, though her companion did not seem to mind. I briefly wondered what I had done to offend her, but concluded that it couldn't be my presence. She didn't know me from Eve.

_Wait! Did he just say wife?_ _I must be a terrible judge of age as each one of them looks so much younger than they apparently are. Either that or their parents are way too lenient._

At that moment, my vision blurred, and an out-of-focus image appeared before me, though strangely I could still see the room around me. The flash that burned before my eyes seemed to be another shot of the very same room I was standing in viewed from a different angle. Everyone was positioned similarly to where they were now, but it was almost like I was another individual standing behind all of us observing the scene. I shifted my attention to the top of the stairs – for some reason, this appeared to be where I should look. But, that area was terribly unfocused. In fact, most of the vision was faintly unfocused, making everything vague. What appeared to be a male figure came into sight at the landing on the top. All of the sudden, he sprang down the stairs at an inhuman pace. He leapt on a brunette female figure, almost pouncing like a predator attacking its prey, bringing his face toward her neck.

"No!" Alice's scream brought me back to reality, and I looked around, trying to gain my bearings from what I had just seen. From where I was standing, I realized that I was the brunette woman from the image I had just seen.

I shook my head, dazed. From her outburst, I knew Alice had been privy to the odd things I had just witnessed, so I turned to her and asked, "What was _that_, Alice?" For some reason, fear I guess, my voice was barely able to make it above a whisper. "Did you see it, too?" I felt like I was going to faint right there on the spot.

"What'd you see?" She answered my question with a question, just as shocked as I was. I briefly wondered if she doing that as a diversion, but that flicker could not take root as I was still so stunned from what had just happened.

I tried to describe what I had just seen. "I think it was this room? I'm really confused. It was all blurry around the edges, and unfocused where the action was, but I think I got the gist of it. We were all in this room when someone – I don't know who - jumped a woman . . . was it me?" I heard Esme gasp. I didn't even realize that she had come back in the room. "Who was the guy? And, what was he doing?"

"_That_ . . . was Edward." Alice replied. Another few gasps escaped around me.

At her statement, a tall, lean boy appeared at the top of the stairs. He was downright gorgeous; his beauty rivaling, and probably surpassing, that of the blonde woman still sitting apathetically on the couch. He was slender, but not too thin as I could make out a slightly muscular chest under his fitted shirt, just perfect. Perfection - that was the word that could be used to describe everything about him. His face could make angels cry, and his untidy mane was a color I had never seen before, almost brown but with a red tint, maybe bronze would adequately describe it. His hair was disheveled, but not in a contrived way. I wanted to go up to him, and muss it up some more as it could only add to his flawlessness. Most boys would not be able to get away with the "bed head," but it fit him to a tee.

_Had I thought the other men were attractive? They absolutely pale in comparison – no pun intended. They aren't even in the same universe as him. I'm sorry, Emmett, but there's no way you're Adonis; he's standing at the top of those stairs._

I stood transfixed at the image before me, as the realization hit that _this_ was the exact beginning of the images I had just perceived. But, it wasn't only fear from witnessing that scene that had me glued to the spot. I was also unable to move because of this odd sensation I felt coursing through my veins. As soon as I saw his glorious form grace the landing above, I felt my lungs empty of air; he literally took my breath away. And, although my body was fighting to inhale, no matter how I tried I could not extract the necessary oxygen from the surrounding atmosphere. It was as if all the air in the room had been sucked out, and up the stairs to the angelic creature above; his mere presence had me mesmerized.

_How pathetic am I? He looks to be about half my age. Talk about robbing the cradle. Thank God no one can read my thoughts, -- right now, they would think I was a dirty old lady._

"Go! Get fresh air," Alice bellowed, glowering at Edward, "Take a walk . . . _now_." She pointed toward the kitchen.

At her scream, Emmett placed himself in front of me like a bodyguard. All the while Edward stood, tensed as still as a statue at the top of the stairs. His extremely dark eyes were filled with what I can only assume was revulsion and his was nose wrinkled as he looked at me.

_First, the golden goddess and now_ him_. What did I do to deserve his ire? So, I guess the gorgeous guy isn't too friendly._

Rosalie rolled her eyes, muttering something but I could only understand the phrases about "the girl" and "stupidity," and left the room with a loud, forced sigh.

After Emmett pulled me near the front door, Alice made her way toward Edward, grabbing Jasper along the way. They both worked to half coerce, half drag Edward away. When they grabbed him, he let out an unusual sound. It was almost an animalistic growl. I stood rooted to the spot, unable to move even my head in fear of both the vision and the strange reactions everyone had, so I was not sure where they had taken him. I realized I was standing transfixed, my mouth alternating between gaping wide and closing. I tried to quickly halt what must have looked like an impersonation of a fish, but I wasn't quick enough, as I heard a chuckle from someone.

Gradually, the realization of the odd and somehow dangerous situation I had just been in overtook my senses and I could feel my heart beating faster. I could actually sense my adrenaline-spiked blood racing through my veins, so I attempted to calm myself. But, as I began to analyze the situation, I realized that it wasn't just the fear that had kept me immobilized; it was attraction, as well.

Edward was absolutely and unbelievably beautiful, literally breathtaking as I had just found out, but there appeared to be something beyond that; something intangible that I could not quite put my finger on.

_What's that? Am I enamored with this person already? How's _that_ even possible? I don't even know him._

I did not allow myself to deliberate this, though; I was sure nothing good could come of dwelling on such thoughts.

"Would you like something to eat or drink, Bella?" Esme's sweet, calm voice reverberated in the now silent room. I could feel some of the tension that I hadn't realized permeated the room with Alice's absence, ease.

_For as excitable as Alice is, she has such a soothing influence. What an odd combination._

"You've had a stressful day and I'm sure you must be quite hungry." Esme brought me back to reality with her soothing nature once again.

I turned to face her, quickly trying to rearrange my face to appear comfortable with the situation I had been presented. As I rotated, I tripped over my own two feet, tumbling towards the ground, which earned a guffaw from Emmett. Esme quickly caught me, and I flushed looking at the floor while I answered her question. "Yes . . . yes that would be _very_ nice. Um . . . th-thank you," I replied, my voice breaking twice.

I followed her across the large room and into an almost equally disproportionate kitchen. I was wondering what kind of food they had when Esme guided me to a huge, walk-in pantry.

"Everyone else has already eaten. So, it'll be just you tonight. We're currently limited on options for you. We only have non-perishables, as I've made our weekly donation to the Forks Community Food Bank. But, I plan to take you on a shopping trip tomorrow. That way, you can choose what foods you like. Meantime, you're welcome to anything you find in here." She motioned into the pantry. "Unfortunately, I don't cook very well, so you'll need to fend for yourself, at least tonight. Though, I've meant to start watching The Food Network," she added with a chuckle.

I examined the contents of the pantry and found it amazingly well-stocked considering what Esme has just said. There was enough food to feed an army. I grabbed a box of pasta and a jar of spaghetti sauce. Obviously, I can't remember being much of a cook, but this seemed fairly simple, and the instructions were written on the labels. So, there did not appear to be much to mess up there. I quickly followed the steps written on the packages, and soon had something resembling a meal. I am sure it wasn't the best or healthiest spaghetti I'd ever had. But given my famished state, it tasted better than I could have ever imagined. I didn't think I could survive on pasta constantly, so I knew I would need to find a recipe book or something. Maybe tomorrow when we went food shopping, we could hit a bookstore. The excitement of possibly going to a bookstore lightened my mood.

After I finished eating, another need made itself known, "Esme, do you have a bathroom? I really need to . . . get cleaned up."

"She can use mine," chirped Alice as she danced through the kitchen door, returning from her spontaneous excursion with Jasper and Edward.

I was grateful to Alice for her kindness. She had been so sympathetic to me, and she seemed like someone I could have as a true friend. "That'd be wonderful, Alice. Thank you so much for being so good to me. You all barely know me and yet, you've taken me in and treated me like a family member."

She responded with an odd little smile, and led me towards her room.

We made our way up the beautiful, yet imposing, staircase and onto the second floor. Alice took me down the hallway and motioned broadly towards a door, "This is my room," she stated while opening the door. She pulled me in and pointed to another door across the room. "My bathroom's through there. There're plenty of items to choose from in the cabinets, and more than enough towels in the linen closet. I'll go grab an outfit for you. I'm _sure _that I have something that will fit you," she added an enigmatic giggle. "I'll leave the clothes on my bed, here."

I felt off put by the way she mentioned having clothes that would fit me. I knew any clothes that the women in this house possessed would never fit me. Alice was too tiny, Rosalie too tall, and Esme too thin. What would they be doing with clothes that fit me? I also felt off balance whenever I thought about what happened when I first arrived at the house. It seemed that maybe Alice's little hint about knowing she needed to get me clothes had something to do with the images that flitted before me downstairs. They had seemed to broadcast from Alice, but I could not imagine what that would mean. I was too exhausted to be able to put anything even as simple as two and two together, so I did not try hard to piece together the puzzle. It seemed I was missing something obvious, though. I shook my head to rid it of the mysteries floating around. I decided to ignore the feeling that was beginning to eat away at my stomach, intent on enjoying the shower I was about to have, and made my way to the bathroom.

To my surprise, though it should not have been, the room was enormous. I think it would be double or triple the size of most Master Bedrooms. I was sure you could fit multiple King-sized beds in there and still have room for a game of Twister. When I opened the bathroom cabinet, I saw that Alice hadn't lied when she mentioned having whatever I could need, there were more products than would normally be available in a Bath and Body store. I picked out a body wash and lotion, and saw shampoo and conditioner that caught my eye. I opened the shampoo, and smelled it. I recognized this scent – like strawberries; it seemed comforting and so familiar, so I decided to use that brand. I walked over to the linen closet and grabbed two enormously fluffy towels, one for my hair and one for my body. As I pulled the band from my ponytail, I noticed my hair was much longer than I thought it should be. It now fell to somewhere around my lower back, just about waist length. I passed it off as nothing – just another quirk in an increasingly peculiar day - and hopped in the shower. I repeated my mantra for the day: _I will worry about that later._

I let the warm water soothe me and relax my aching muscles. As I felt the grime run off my body, I wondered how long I could have been outside in the woods. I came to the conclusion that it must have been the better part of a day, if not longer. I felt exhausted and tense. The heat of the shower and the rhythmic pulse from the shower head massaged most of that stress away, and I felt grateful to the family – the Cullen family, I reminded myself – that had been so kind to take me in. I stayed in the shower as long as I thought was respectable. It was very long and yet the hot water did not wane. _How large was their hot water tank? _I exited through the glass doors, dried off and decided to use the hairdryer I saw on Alice's bathroom counter. I looked at my fuzzy image in the condensation-covered mirror. There was no way I could dry my hair without seeing myself. As I cleared off the fog from the enormous mirror, I beheld a strange, horrifying and confusing sight.

I heard someone release a blood-curdling scream, the kind you only hear in horror movies, before I hit the floor, collapsing in a ball. With a shock, I realized that _I_ was the one screaming.

* * *

**End Notes**:

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. I hope you enjoyed. If you're still interested, there's more to come soon . . . I expect.

So . . . now they've seen each other. I know Edward was only here briefly but I promise, he will become a MUCH larger part of the story. I just have to set up a few things before that can happen. Please bear with me as the exposition continues. I hope I didn't dissatisfy and you all felt I adequately described him.

I have a timeline written for this, so I know mostly where it's going. Sometimes ideas pop in my head and I need to add 'em in; it's a compulsion.

A little information on why the Adonis legend:

So, Aphrodite was the goddess of love and beauty (perfect for Rosalie). She saw Adonis' birth and found him beautiful. She became a maternal figure/lover for him. Adonis loved hunting and on one trip, his prey gored him. As he lay dying, Aphrodite heard his cries and came to him. She kissed him and he died in her arms. I found much of this a parallel to the Emmett/Rosalie relationship, so I included it. However, since Adonis is considered to represent handsome young men, Bella quickly changed her mind on who it described.

I know I went with a lot of clichés here. I will try to keep them to a minimum. But I am writing this as close to Canon as my story allows, so some things must be said.

Also, as I mentioned in my novel-length "notes" above, I have written an APOV of the first two chapters. I think am going to post that as a separate story that will contain only extras. I want to keep Lost Cause all BPOV. Please read it, if you'd like. It is linger than my Bella Chapters as my Alice likes to talk and she took over my PC for a while, almost literally. This may help you get a tiny peek into of the back story prior to Bella's arrival. I really enjoyed writing from Alice's POV. It was so much fun. I warn you now; she jumps around a lot in her thoughts, much like I do. Being inside her head sometimes feels like being on a thrill ride, complete with loops and sheer drops.

Here is a teeny tiny preview:

All in all, it was a lot to think about. I knew her presence in my family's lives was imperative and this overruled all worries, though it could not stop a small part of my brain from chanting: _What will this cost her? What will this cost us?_

I plan on writing some other extras, and I would love suggestions for those or for this story. I'm up for _almost_ anything! So, please review and let me know your thoughts, questions or even your suggestions. Also, I need a title for the APOV outtake. I have an idea what I want to use, but would welcome others.

Another question before I leave: I am actually compiling a list of songs for some chapters that I feel may "set the mood." Do you guys like when someone posts things like that?

Thanks again!!

B. S.


	3. Surprises

A|N:

OK. I apologize. As you can see this is not the APOV extra. When I was rechecking it prior to sending it to be beta'd, I realized that Bella still had to reveal one more thing before I could post it. So instead, you receive another chapter of the main story. Rest assured, APOV will be posted next. I have already sent it off to be beta'd.

Again, I am amazed that people have marked this as a favorite. Thanks for the interest. For those of you who have reviewed, the time you have taken is greatly appreciated.

Thank you to everyone at Project Team Beta. You have helped me so much. Again, I strongly suggest everyone to use their services. The link is still in my profile. My work is my own but without the beta's to help, it would be worthless.

Thank you to my Twilighted betas: Strider and qjmom.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

Chapter 3:

* * *

3. Surprises

I probably should have paid attention to the knock on the bathroom door, but I was so alarmed, in such a state of shock, that I did not. I found myself unable to move. I sat wrapped in an enormous, downy towel on the tile floor of Alice's bathroom with my back pressed up against the ceramic-covered wall, my legs curled up to my chest. If I was able to perceive anything other than shock, I probably would have felt the chill from the hard, cold surface I was sitting on and leaning against. I just sat staring straight ahead, but seeing nothing, feeling nothing. I was not sure how long I'd been sitting there, it could have been hours or minutes, though it was probably more like seconds. A loud knock on the door rang out, barely reaching my consciousness, yet still I made no move. Finally, my brain began to function, although slowly.

_I really should go open the door, or call out, at least_.

_No, I can't even think about that. I need answers._ _I mean, how is _this_ possible? How could _this_ have happened? Am I in some parallel dimension? What the _hell_ is going on?_

Still, I found myself completely motionless on the floor as I was unable to gather my thoughts together. They fluttered around my head like butterflies around a lavender bush, flitting in circles and making me dizzy. I was filled with too many questions and absolutely _no_ answers.

Yet another, even louder, knock sounded, this time coupled with Alice's strained voice. "Bella . . . are you okay? Can I _please_ come in?" Even now, as awareness of my surroundings pervaded my thoughts, I made no move toward the door and I was unable to utter a single word. I sat there gazing straight ahead wondering what in the world could possibly have been happening.

Alice's muffled voice sounded again. "That's it. I'm unlocking this door and coming in there right now."

I heard the entrance of the key into the lock and the click of the lock as it was released. Then, the sound of doorknob turning rang out in the near silent bathroom. I saw the shadow on the floor as Alice approached in my peripheral vision. I did not move or speak to acknowledge her presence, unable to do anything but gawk at the white tile wall across from me, blinking as little as possible. All-of-a-sudden, Alice's delicately-featured face entered my vision.

I felt lost, confused out of my mind.

"Are you alright?" Alice asked. When I did not respond, she grabbed my arm and shook me slightly, causing my teeth to chatter together. "Bella, please answer me. You're frightening me." My bleary eyes refused to focus, but the hazy face before me did appear completely terrified. Through my fog, I could not find the compassion to care. "Carlisle, please come to my bathroom. Something's happened to Bella."

There was a slight breeze and Carlisle's face replaced Alice's. He grabbed my wrist with his chilly hand and held it for a brief period. Then, a bright light shone in my eyes, causing me to blink involuntarily.

That flash brought me back to reality.

I blinked my eyes furiously and shook my head. Once the sparkles stopped dancing before my eyes, I attempted to focus on Carlisle's face, tilting my head to the side.

"Bella? I heard you scream. What happened?" Alice implored. "Carlisle, is she OK?"

"She appears to be fine, Alice," Carlisle responded before I was able. "Bella, are you alright?"

"It's difficult to explain and also . . . really weird and confusing. But, it appears that one of the things I knew about myself is being _proven false_ by certain . . . um . . . solid evidence?" My voice sounded like a question as I struggled for words and I briefly wondered if my formality was due to shock.

I gestured to the mirror across the room with my shaking hand. Alice and Carlisle looked at each other and then to me, obviously confused.

"Well, _look_ at me. Does something seem out of place . . . I don't know . . . wrong from what I told you before?" I was finding it difficult to adequately describe my dilemma.

They both nodded.

"I'm so confused, because I don't seem to look like myself." I put my hands up to my face and rubbed my eyes vigorously, remembering the pale skin and dark eyes and hair. Similar to what I had expected, yet so different. "Well, that's not . . . completely true. I look like myself, just not exactly how I think I should. It's _very_ hard to explain . . ."

_I can't believe it myself._

All of the sudden the truth hit me. A memory of a beautiful, pale woman flashed before my eyes. She was standing in front of me smiling broadly and talking. Most of her speech was unintelligible. The only word I could make out was . . . "seventeen. . . I look like I did when I was seventeen. I don't know exactly how I know that, but I know it's true . . . somehow. How's that even _possible_?"

Another realization hit me. A vision of three beautiful faces surrounded by trees flickered before my eyes, each face held a similar look of incredulity. "Is that why you all gave each other such a strange look when I told you my age in the woods?" I received another nod from the two of them.

"Hmmm. Well, this is definitely a complicated situation," Carlisle interjected, his brows furrowing, casting a shadow over his golden eyes. The expression made him look much older than I would have thought possible. I couldn't help but let out a nervous giggle.

"So it appears, Carlisle. Have you ever heard of anything like this before? I mean, you're a doctor. I'm sure you see unexpected things every day. Of course, this is probably more unusual than you're used to." I added with another nervous laugh.

"I've not heard of anything along this exact vein. I would, however, like to discuss this . . . situation with the rest of the family," responded Carlisle. "Alice, please help Bella get ready and meet us downstairs in the dining room for a family meeting." Alice nodded.

Carlisle hurried from the room, shaking his head. Alice helped me to my feet, and then guided me into her room by pulling my left arm over her shoulder and wrapping her arm around my waist.

"I can walk, Alice. I'm in shock, not an invalid," I said, smiling at her to relieve the tension in the air. Alice released me, and slowly walked to her bed.

"I had laid out pajamas for you, as you appeared exhausted before, and I thought you could use some rest. But, since you're going downstairs to talk with the rest of the family, I think real clothes would be more acceptable. Sit here and I'll be right back." She pointed to the end of her bed, and I graciously complied. She disappeared out of the room.

As I sat on the cushy bed, I began to realize just how bushed I was. I had thought myself too provoked from the revelation in the bathroom, but her bed was so soft, so inviting. I laid back and closed my eyes, trying to fight the sleep that waited to engulf me. I fought and lost.

The next thing I knew, I was awoken with a start. Alice was standing in her doorway with an armful of clothes, smirking down at me.

"I thought I was going to have to sleep in your bed," she laughed. "Here are some clothes for you to wear."

She closed the door and walked toward me holding out a pair of pants and a top.

I rose from the bed and dressed myself obediently, not feeling the least bit self-conscious that Alice was in the room. Of course, as Alice had hinted previously, everything fit me perfectly.

_How did she have these clothes that felt like they were intended just for me? There are so many puzzle pieces waiting to be put together, but I am in no mood now. I will worry about that later._

Once I was dressed, Alice led me down the stairs and over to their dining room.

The rest of the family – sans Edward, he must have been out getting fresh air – were already seated around the large, wooden table. The room was gorgeous, perfectly decorated just like the rest of the house. The table they gathered around looked like an antique. The surrounding chairs were overstuffed and comfortable looking. Carlisle was seated at the head of the table, with Esme to his left. He motioned to an empty seat on the other side of him and I sat down. Alice wound up taking the chair on my right, sandwiching her between Jasper and me. Rosalie sat across from her, next to Esme. Emmett was on Rosalie's left. The chair opposite Carlisle sat glaringly empty.

I sat there looking at each family member, trying to assess the situation. Finally, Carlisle broke the silence, "Bella, I've already explained the . . . circumstances to everyone. We've all agreed," Rosalie huffed, and Carlisle shot her a warning glance, "that it's best if you stay with us, at least for a while, given the present situation. I don't think you want anyone else aware of your current situation. We've also agreed. . ." Yet another sigh came from Rosalie, which Carlisle ignored this time, "that we will help you with the research to find out more about your life prior to coming here. Currently, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and Edward attend the local high school, so they'll be unavailable during the day. Esme will be here all day, so you will not be alone, and the others will return to help in the afternoon. Are you comfortable with this plan? If not, we can bring you to the local police now."

"Of course I am, Carlisle," I smiled at him. "I don't feel comfortable telling anyone else my story, yet. I am so grateful to each of you for your help." I stated looking at each of them. "And, I thank _all_ of you," I looked pointedly at Rosalie, "for accepting me into your home."

"Very well, Bella. You appear exhausted, so I believe you should probably go get some sleep." I nodded at Carlisle's assumption; I was barely able to keep my eyes open. "Alice, I believe the new guest room upstairs will suit Bella perfectly. Bella, before Alice shows you to your room, she'll inform you of the resources available. You can use them to research your predicament. I hope you'll be able to find helpful information. I also hope that you find our accommodations to your liking. Good night. We've all got more to discuss, so we'll stay here." He gestured around the table. "Once you have showed Bella around, Alice, please come back down here so we can resume our meeting."

"Of course, Carlisle. I'll be right back," Alice pledged as she rose to her feet.

I stood and walked over in between Carlisle and Esme, who were now standing as well. Each of them offered me a hug. Under normal circumstances, I would feel uncomfortable with such intimate contact but with these two, I gladly obliged. While Esme was still holding me, I thanked everyone again for their acceptance. Just as I pulled away, Esme gave me a quick kiss on the forehead. I quickly flexed my arms again. This time I noticed that she was just as hard as Alice and I could feel how cold she was through her thin blouse. I knew that was something I would need to ponder, but I was just too tired to think about it at that moment.

I followed Alice through the living room. She brought me by what appeared to be a chess game, but there were way too many boards all joined together. I was unable to even imagine playing something as elaborate as the set of eight boards before me. She led me around a wall beyond the "game" and pointed over towards the rear corner, near the back window. In the dark shadows, I saw that there was an elaborate computer system, with multiple monitors. She explained how to use everything as it was a touch screen. I surmised that I would be spending most of my day tomorrow glued to this machine; I hoped it would play nice.

Then, Alice brought me back through the living room and upstairs to the second story. She guided me to a room she described as Carlisle's study, though it looked more like a library to me. Every available inch of three of the walls was covered in shelves of books, some of which appeared to be ancient.

The fourth wall, the one with the entrance, was barely visible for all the paintings that adorned it. I could not see any correlation between the paintings. Some of the images were full of vivid colors and some were varying shades of grey or brown. I liked most of them even though there did not appear to be a common link. There was a especially old and quaint depiction of an ancient European city. I found this one particularly interesting. I was surprised to see that another work of art, the largest of them all, situated next to the door, actually had someone who looked just like Carlisle painted in it. I observed how the figures in the painting appeared to be the main focus and painted in a classic style; the surroundings had few details. It looked professional and ancient. I wondered who had painted it.

_Carlisle must be a huge collector of artwork._

Alice broke me from my reverie, explaining that information regarding medical conditions could be found in this room, as well as other books that may be of use. She pointed and described each section of journals as she moved about the room.

_I will never be able to remember _any_ of this. I'll just pretend to follow Alice and try to figure it out tomorrow._

After the short introduction to Carlisle's office, we exited and rose to the house's third level. Alice dragged me down to the end of the hall, her small hand wrapped around my upper arm. Her grip was unbreakable. She stopped outside the last door on the right, situating herself for what I assumed was going to be a grand reveal. She explained that this was the guest room, where I would be sleeping. She also pointed out that this suite was directly across from the room she described as Edward's. As she mentioned this fact, I felt butterflies attempting to free themselves from my stomach.

_Great. I am going to have to sleep across the hall from the guy who doesn't even know me, but appears to hate me. I mean, even Rosalie showed for their family meeting. How uncomfortable is that going to be?_

"But, he won't be back for some time. It may be weeks before you see him again," she informed me. My emotions must have been clear on my face.

_That's odd. Was it because of me? I should stop jumping to conclusions. How could it be because of me? We haven't even had a conversation. I guess I'm just becoming paranoid._

"Don't worry, Bella. He is just odd. He makes spur-of-the-moment decisions all of the time." She waved her hand as if to brush away my anxiety. "Anyway, I know you're going to _love_ this room. Now, close your eyes," Alice warbled. She grabbed my arms and turned me slightly to the right, situating me so I had a better view of the room, I assumed. "Are you ready?"

"I'm ready," I answered smiling at where her voice had sounded.

I felt the air as she opened the door. When she told me to open my eyes, I viewed an unbelievably gorgeous room. It looked like something that belonged on the cover of an interior decor magazine. Everything inside from the throw rugs to the linens was of a varying shade of blue. I walked inside and gasped at just how ideal everything was. I instantly decided that, if it hadn't been before, blue was now my favorite color.

I whirled back around to face the entrance where Alice still stood in my doorway, a huge smile playing on my face. "Alice, I love this. It's _perfect_. I don't think anything could have purposely been chosen for me and been so appropriate. Did you decorate this yourself?" I exclaimed.

Alice giggled. "You are so exuberant," she exclaimed. She clapped her hands together and entered the room. "This was created explicitly for you," she whispered, almost too quietly for me to hear. In fact, I was not completely sure of her last words. She raised her voice loud enough for me to hear her clearly on her next words. "Yes, I did put everything together. I had hoped you'd like it. There are more than enough clothes in the closet, for now. The closet's through that door." I noticed her point from the corner of my eye, but I did not see where, as I was still too distracted by the gorgeous room, "and in the dresser. They will all fit you perfectly. I took the liberty of ordering, designing, and altering them myself."

_She ordered, designed, and altered them herself? How would she know . . .?_

Finally, through my fatigue induced cloud, everything came into full focus: Alice finding me in the woods, the clothes made specifically for me, the room that felt like home and last, but certainly not least, the odd sight I saw right before she ushered Edward out of the house.

_Alice must be psychic. I'm positive that she sees the future. That must be what happened before, but I guess it can be altered because Edward didn't jump on me. And, she must be able to show them to others. That's really cool. Hmmm. On second thought, though, I guess it would mean that there are no surprises around here._

I decided to confirm my suspicions.

"Alice, you are a psychic?" I prodded, hoping she would answer my question truthfully. She nodded and smiled in response. "So, you saw Edward springing on me before. But that _obviously_ didn't happen. Does that mean your . . . 'previews' can be changed?"

"Yes, nothing's definite. Of course, some visions are clearer than others, meaning that they are more certain to happen. I can't believe that you figured it out so easily. Usually no one knows. Of course, you are the first girl I know to see them, as well," she prompted.

"So, normally other people don't see them, too, like in the living room with me earlier?" I was trying to convince myself that it wasn't only me, but obviously that wasn't the case. I didn't want to be odd. Then again, who does?

"No, I haven't ever met someone who could do the _same_ thing as you," Alice explained. It seemed like she was keeping something from me, but I couldn't be sure. She seemed skilled at lying or at least, she appeared to be successful at evasion and the way she stressed same made me think she was concealing some fact. To further add to my suspicion, she quickly changed the subject. "I left your pajamas on the bed, which should be unbelievably comfortable, by the way. Have a great night and I'll see you tomorrow after school." She leaned over, kissed me on the cheek – her lips were glacial and rigid, just like her arm - and stepped out of the room.

_I will need to question her about her body temperature and rigid skin at some point._

As she was closing the door, I could have sworn I heard her chirrup something about a "new sister". Her enthusiasm was contagious and I found myself becoming both more comfortable and excited with the prospect of being here.

I walked to the bed and picked up the soft set of a matching pajama top and pants. They were extremely silky to the touch. I quickly undressed and pulled the night clothes on, reveling in how pleasant they felt against my skin; it was like heaven had made these wonderfully comfortable pajamas for me.

_Maybe Alice_ _is __an angel,_ _my_ personal _guardian. I need to thank her tomorrow_.

I laid down on the bed, thinking it would probably be difficult to relax after the day I had endured. Like before, I was amazed at how perfectly comfortable this bed was, even more so than Alice's on the floor below. After reclining on hers, I would have never thought it possible that anything could be more relaxing before this moment. I pulled up the covers and thanked God, and Heaven, and anything else I could think of, that this family happened to be around during my darkest time. I rolled to my side and promptly fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

* * *

A|N :

Thanks to everyone who read this chapter. I hoped you enjoyed it.

Most of this is a reiteration of things we already knew, but were necessary to include. There wasn't anything terribly shocking. I know I took three chapters to describe one day. This will not always be the case. I just had to set up some things before much of anything could happen. The next chapter will actually span a few days.

And, with that chapter comes another reveal. Of course, it is one that everyone already knows, so there aren't any surprises there.

I looked up descriptions of Solimena's work, and I tried to incorporate that in the Volturi painting description.

My APOV will be next.

Thanks, again!


	4. Research

A|N:

Sorry this took so long to get out. I had issues with this chapter and wound up rewriting a lot of it. I hope it is better for that.

Thanks for the interest in my little story. For those of you who have reviewed, the time you have taken is greatly appreciated.

Thank you to everyone at Project Team Beta. You have helped me so much. Again, I strongly suggest everyone to use their services. The link is still in my profile. My work is my own but without the beta's to help, it would be worthless. They are looking for more betas if you are interested.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

* * *

4. Research

I awoke the next morning with a sense of déjà vu. I was completely unsure of my surroundings and I was beginning to feel an all too familiar sense of being lost. Looking around the room did not help to assuage my growing fear. It was vast. I would assume it was the largest bedroom I had ever seen- but as I couldn't remember anything, I couldn't be sure.

_Where am I? How did I get here?_ I tried to retrace my steps.

Then, awareness hit me like a Mack Truck. I was in the house of a family that had found me yesterday evening. I tried to push my memory further back, to a time before yesterday, but after a few minutes of trying to force memories, nothing came. I tried to remember, not because I expected any memory to reach me, but I felt compelled to try.

I looked around the room, noting more of my surroundings than I had in my bleary stupor the night before. There were three doors and three huge windows, two on each side of the bed and a third on the wall on my right.

_A corner room. Very nice._ _I could definitely get used to being here._

The bed I had slept in was enormous, maybe King-sized, and probably the most comfortable bed ever. There was also a large dresser, a beautiful wooden desk and filling one wall were a number of book shelves. The shelves were mostly empty, waiting for me to fill, I guess. I still wasn't sure of my likes, or even my dislikes, so I figured they would stay empty, at least for a little while. I knew Alice had pointed out some things to me the previous night, but I could not remember anything other than her confirming that she could see the future.

I climbed out of the enormous bed, wandered over to the nearest window and looked out while pulling aside the gauze curtain. The window provided a divine vantage point from the front of the house: a view of the clearing surrounding the house and the nearby forest. From this elevation, the scene was breathtaking. I thought of my time outside yesterday and still found the scenery a bit too green. It was like no other color existed.

I turned around to face the room again. I remembered which door led to the hallway, and since I did not wish to leave the sanctuary of my private quarters, and I was not sure where the other doors led, I decided to go exploring. I walked over and opened one of the unknown doors. Behind it was a room that appeared larger than the bedroom I had just been in.

_What is with the proportions of the rooms in this house?__ I can't believe people actually live like this._

Upon further inspection, I realized that the room was not a room at all; it was a closet. It held enough clothes that I could wear multiple new outfits everyday for a year, and I still wouldn't have had to wear any item more than once, nor would I have touched half of what was available.

_Is Alice insane? She mentioned something like having enough clothes "for now." _For now_? I think these would last _multiple _lifetimes. _

I decided to find something to wear for the day. Of course, it would probably take me hours just to find something suitable. I had noticed Alice's tastes last night and I hoped she didn't expect me to dress like her. I may not know myself well, but I was sure I was not the type to dress up on a daily basis.

After wandering and searching through Alice's "Clothesland," I found something comfortable which was a feat all its own. For some reason, Alice had seen fit to buy me many items in silks and satins. Obviously she _had_ expected me to dress like her.

_I mean, _what_ would I need _those_ for? I don't plan on attending many cocktail parties while here_. _And __I couldn't imagine living long enough to need a quarter of the dresses._

I also found a nice pair of sneakers amidst what seemed like hundreds of high heels. Though the shoes were gorgeous, I decided it was best not to put myself in danger of breaking an ankle - or two. The lingerie area of the closet was quite frightening. Yes, there was an entire "area." There were _many _sexy pieces in there, which I knew I would not use.

_I most definitely wasn't wearing them for myself. Who would I bring here? I hope Alice hasn't had any visions of me needing this stuff. Ewwww. That could be so embarrassing._

I tried to banish the thought from my head. I did not need to picture Alice seeing me in any of those too revealing outfits.

I placed the clothes on the bed and then decided to check out the other unknown door, hoping it was the bathroom. To my delight I was correct. As I had come to expect from all of my experiences with this house, the room was gigantic. It seemed to be just as large as Alice's bathroom downstairs. I saw doors to a large linen closet, and took my pick of the fluffy towels filling it. I was about to go scouring the cabinet for bath products when I saw the ones I used in Alice's bathroom the night before sitting on the countertop.

_She really thinks of everything. I've got to thank her later for her kindness. _

I began to realize that I was really growing fond of Alice, and I could see us becoming very good friends. The more I thought about it, I was sure she had already seen that happening. Maybe that was why she had been so compassionate.

After my shock last night, I had refused to glance at any reflective surface, and I did _not_ plan on changing that fact this morning. I walked over to the sink keeping my eyes from straying to the mirror. I rapidly washed my face and pulled the towel closer to dry off. In my haste, I mistakenly caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was drawn like a moth to a flame.

Everything was so similar, yet so startlingly different. My hair was still the same shade of mousy brown; my eyes were still the color of chocolate. My skin was pale and slightly freckled over my nose. However, there were major differences. The slight creases I expected to see along my eyes and the other tiny markers of age were non-existent. It was uncomfortable to see myself like this. I shook my head and hurried from the bathroom.

I went downstairs and headed for the kitchen. My stomach had decided to make its presence known earlier by grumbling loudly, so I thought it best to get something to eat before I did anything else. I greeted Esme in the kitchen and we made small talk as I ate a quick breakfast - well lunch now - of cereal. After our conversation, I excused myself and made my way over to the computer in the living room.

I noticed that it was already on; the light on the plastic box – the CPU? - was glowing. I somehow knew that I needed to touch the screen, so I did and I heard the whir of the PC as the monitor sprang to life. I saw the icon that Alice had told me to double-tap last night. Oddly, I had already known what I needed to click and that it opened a browser but I hadn't wanted to hurt her feelings by telling her that. When the window loaded, it opened a site called Google. It looked familiar, quite plain, and I remembered that the site I was looking at was called a search engine.

It was strange how I could recall silly things like the words used for computers and web pages, but not anything important about myself. I knew how to speak and read and I knew the specific names of everyday items, but details concerning myself eluded me. It could have been depressing, but I refused to allow myself to wallow.

After my musings, I decided to start looking through missing people to see if I could find any descriptions of women like me. I did a quick search on Google, and came across a Site for the Missing Persons Registry. It described itself as having the "goal to provide a clearinghouse of information that may assist the efforts of law enforcement and provide loved ones a way to reunite with their families and friends."

After a few hours of sifting through the information on this site, Esme came over to offer to take me food shopping, and I gratefully obliged. I had begun feeling disheartened from the lack of finding anything helpful.

We drove to the supermarket in a cute, little, red convertible. I was sure a car like that would stand out in what appeared to be a very small town. I could appreciate the car. It was adorable and had so much power that there were definitely after-market alterations made to it. I came to find out that it was Rosalie's car.

_I hope she doesn't mind me being in it._

At the supermarket, Esme and I seemed to be the center of attention. It was embarrassing how every head turned in our direction as we passed by. We walked through the store, and I grabbed things that caught my interest. I noticed that Esme seemed out of place. She did not appear very comfortable in the role of food shopping. Or, maybe it was just because she did not know what foods I would like.

As we continued shopping, I remembered that I needed recipes to make meals as I didn't remember how to cook and I did _not_ want to poison myself. I asked Esme if we could purchase a few recipe books, as I could not really remember how to cook anything, and I didn't want to poison myself. The food store had an area with some books and I picked a few from there.

Wherever we went, people stared, and I shrank under all the looks that bored into me. It made me wish I could blend in with the produce or frozen foods, but I wasn't so lucky. Esme sensed I was uncomfortable and tried to ease my anxiety when she could, but I still felt like I was in a fishbowl. I was elated when we made our way over to the checkouts.

As we were checking out, I found out the reason why everyone had been staring at us. I thought it had to do with Esme being out in public food shopping. They were rich, as was evidenced by their home, so I assumed she normally paid people to do the shopping. Apparently I had been wrong, this appeared to be quite common as all the store employees knew her by name. It must have been my presence that had everyone interested. I guess this was a _small_ town.

The cashier, Amy as her nametag displayed, spoke first. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Cullen_. _It's great to see you today. How has your week been?" I noticed her eyeing me and I wondered how long before the inquisition would begin.

"Everything's been wonderful, Amy. Thank you for asking," Esme answered pleasantly. "I know I'm early this week but as you can see, we have a guest and I wanted to have fresh food available." Esme added a small nod and smile in my direction. It made me feel slightly uncomfortable to garner any attention. "This is Bella." I noticed that Esme did not mention any type of relationship to the family.

_A cover story would definitely be needed if I was to be out in public with any of the Cullen family again. We'll have to work on that._

"Nice to meet you, Amy," I added conventionally.

"You too, Bella. Do you like Forks?" Amy asked.

_Okay, the town was named _Forks_. What an odd name._ _Is there a Spoons nearby? Or, a Knives? Maybe just a Silverware?_

"Is it anything like where you're from?" She was obviously fishing for information.

"I haven't been here long, so I haven't seen much but the house and this store." I smiled at her, purposely ignoring her second question. "It seems nice enough, though. I'd love to explore it some more. Is there anywhere you think I should go?"

She started to waffle about the things in the area that I might want to see. Once I was sure that I had distracted her enough, I tuned her out. I tried to appear attentive, nodding my head and Ah'ing in what seemed like appropriate places. Luckily, she was able to speak throughout the rest of the checkout process. Esme and I both thanked her, and left quickly. I was grateful to have gotten through without allowing too much room to create problems for the Cullens. They had been so helpful to me, and I didn't want to cause them anymore trouble.

By the time all the food was put away, everyone had returned from school, and the research started again. Rosalie greeted Esme and then left the room, not to be seen again for the rest of the night. Jasper addressed both of us before he, too, retired to his own quarters. I did not see Edward at all.

With Alice's enthusiasm and Emmett's playfulness, it was quite difficult to focus on the task at hand for longer than a few minutes. I was so happy to have their company, and I feared I would go into a depression without their lighthearted banter to help pull me through.

After a while, I became very hungry so I decided to abandon my search for the night. I stood up and asked what everyone wanted for dinner but oddly enough, no one else was hungry. I made a small dinner and ate at the table in the kitchen. It was smaller than the dining room table so I did not feel quite so awkward eating alone.

Later in the evening, Carlisle came home, and we all spent the rest of the night talking and getting to know each other more. Of course, I did not have much to offer on that front, so the members of the Cullen family mostly spoke.

After a few hours of easy conversation, I began to feel sleepy. My eyes kept closing of their own accord, so I knew it was time to go to bed. No one else seemed tired in the slightest, so they all stayed downstairs.

****************************************************

The next few days were similar to the first. I would start off searching through the missing person's lists. Later, Esme would come and rescue me for a few hours, whether it was a conversation, a walk outside or just time spent together. Then, the others would come home, and Alice and Emmett would spend time with me. There seemed to be a great divide within the family.

Rosalie never spent more time with me than to pass by on the way to the room she and Emmett shared. She would normally announce herself as she passed by, huffing derisively toward me. Her disdain did not bother me that much. She had every right to feel that way. I _was_ intruding in her home, her refuge, and I knew she resented my presence.

Jasper rarely came within a few yards of me, when he was even there. More often than not, he would not spend time around me. I guess he was not happy with me being there either.

I had not seen Edward at all since that first evening, and no one spoke of him in front of me. He had almost become a ghost, a non-entity. The days passed, and I wondered if I was the reason for his absence.

I hoped that my company was not causing issues between the two couples. Both Alice and Emmett were spending all their afternoons and most evenings with me. This only left nights with their significant others.

As time passed, I began to notice so many odd things about the family that had rescued me. As had been evidenced by Carlisle and Alice, their skin was really cold and very hard. And they were all pale, more so than even me, and I was exceptionally pallid. Another peculiarity about their coloring was their eyes. They were the oddest shade of brown I had ever seen. They were lighter than amber, almost like a gold tone or an ocher. The color was practically unnatural, and I could swear that their eyes were darkening as time passed. I wondered if it was possible that they had some uncommon disorder that affected their coloring.

They were the most gorgeous people I had ever seen, even compared to the actors on TV. If the members of this family had been related genetically, it would have made more sense, but they were not. So that was one more thing that stood out as different.

Not one of them ever ate or drank in front of me. In fact, I had seen them with food, but it either went untouched, or they "shared" it with me – meaning I ate and they watched. Sometimes, they would have a glass of something, and every so often, they would put it to their lips as if drinking. But as I began paying attention, I realized that the liquid never decreased. Every night they would make an excuse not to join me at dinner, so every evening I ate alone. It had become my habit.

_Every creature needs some sort of sustenance. How were they getting theirs?_

As I saw more oddities, I became more aware and noticed others. It appeared that they weren't _ever_ tired in the slightest. They were always wide awake when I went to bed and when I woke up. A few times I had awoken in the middle of the night to hear certain noises, ensuring that at least someone was still awake.

_Do they not need rest?_

Also, they seemed to move extremely fast. Sometimes, they would seem to cross a room within a split second, causing me to second guess where they had been previously. It was almost impossible how quiet they were, too. It was disconcerting how I could never hear them approach me. Emmett found those facts rather amusing and used them to frighten me often. He found my shrieks amusing.

They all appeared so young, but they acted much older. I had to admit that, given my predicament, this in itself was not necessarily _that_ odd. But, it was like they were all much, much older than they looked.

With each day, my mantra of "_I will worry about that later" _became weaker as the list of peculiarities increased. I had a feeling I was good at repressing unpleasant things but there was only so much a person could ignore.

There was an aura of artificiality that had begun to hang over the house, and with each realization, it grew thicker and heavier until it was oppressive. I decided that during the time I had reserved for my research, I would look into what information I could find on the family. It felt like a betrayal, but I was so curious. I had to know what I had gotten myself into.

There was still no progress in _my_ research, and I was beginning to feel that I would never find anything of use, even though Carlisle would come home nightly with a new theory or avenue to explore. Each night, the topic would be discussed ad nauseam.

The family had loaned me what they called an "old" laptop, but I knew from looking at it that it had been newly purchased. I was not sure why they would have bought it for me, but I was grateful. It allowed me to investigate from my bed, during the morning hours, at least. I briefly wondered how much money this family had. It must have been more than God with their lifestyle.

One day, I could not bring myself to delve into anything that had to do with me. I was frustrated with the constant dead ends I met. I sat propped up against my pillows on my freshly made bed, and I opened the laptop, typing in random things – nothing of much importance – trying to find the motivation to slog through another tedious day of finding zilch.

I was typing in the URL for The Missing Persons Registry, when a thought struck me. Instead of following this avenue, I would investigate the list of quirks I had compiled and see what information I could find about the Cullen family. Maybe there was a completely logical and normal answer that was just waiting to be found, something that I was too blind to see.

I brought up Google and typed "cold pale hard skin." I clicked the Search button and watched the site list load.

There were quite a few results about frostbite, its symptoms, treatment and preventatives.

_That did not seem possible_.

After that, there were many sites that described how to make a person's skin appear more beautiful.

_Nope, definitely not. Next._

The last item on the page stood out as it was quite different. This solitary site was a listing about how to look like a vampire for Halloween. I ignored this impractical and silly suggestion. I scrolled through a few more pages of listings, but it was more beauty tips and frost bite information. Finally, I gave in to my dread and typed "vampire" in the search box.

I stared as the results were listed on the page in front of me, debating whether I really wanted to make this leap. It felt like I was standing on a cliff, staring down at the grey sea water churning and writhing below. I instinctively knew this decision would be dangerous and that there would be no turning back once it was made. I held my breath and took that last step.

The first item was a dry Wikipedia article that bored me on the history and popular beliefs held about vampires. Practically none of the information fit. Next, was a campy site about a winery. These sort of sites weren't helping. Finally, I found a site that appeared to be a reference site. Some of the things listed did, in fact, align with some of the information I had seen, but nothing matched exactly.

However, there was enough to make me see the truth . . . the Cullen family could possibly be vampires.

I looked up at the laptop screen and saw that it was black. My finger was still pressing the power button for the laptop. I practically slammed the computer down on my nightstand in my haste to rid myself of the mind-numbing device. I jumped off the bed and sprinted to the door, which I promptly closed and locked. If only this room had some musical device so that I could drown out my own thoughts with some rock song. I threw the covers back and laid face down on the bed. Immersed in the sheets, I let the fabric softener scent envelop me as I slammed my pillow over my head.

I had to be overreacting. It couldn't be true. Vampires were part of myth, monsters hell-bent on killing. These people had been nothing but kind to me; not once had they tried to harm me.

The memory of standing in the main room below on my first night flooded my consciousness: Edward at the top of the stairs; Edward descending the stairs at an impossible pace; Edward pouncing on the woman . . . me?

That night, I had thought it looked like something from the Discovery Channel, a hunter attacking its target.

_Had that been what Edward was doing in the vision? Was he attacking me? How had I not seen that before? What the _hell_ is going on? How did I wind up in this crazy, messed up version of reality?_

It had flashed briefly through my mind when I first viewed Alice's vision, but I had quickly dismissed the thought. I _had_ related Edward's reaction to a predator attacking its prey.

The words reverberated in my head, growing louder and more insistent as the walls of my mind closed in:

_predator and prey._

_Predator and Prey._

_PREDATOR AND PREY._

I heard the house phone ring but didn't really care who it was. Maybe Alice had seen this breakdown I was currently having. The thought of Alice brought more facts to light. This family had been nothing but kind to _me_, a complete stranger. They gained nothing from saving my life, yet they still did it. It was not possible that this wonderful family, these perfect people, could be something sinister.

_Too perfect_, the warning I had failed to heed from the beginning reared its ugly head.

_Holy crow! What had I gotten myself into?_

It had begun to make sense. They had drawn me in without much thought on my end, almost recklessly. If I _am_ their intended prey, wouldn't there be something to attract me, similar to a Venus Flytrap or a Cobra Lily? Wouldn't there be something beautiful to entice the hunted toward them, just like I had been lured? They were too flawless, too precise, like they were created by some master's chisel rather than born of a human woman. The way they moved was so fluid and exacting, much like any natural hunter. An image of a lion stalking a hapless gazelle came to mind.

My breathing became erratic and I noticed the sheet growing wet before I realized I was crying. I lay on the bed, debating whether I was crazy for even entertaining the notion of _vampires_. In the end, I couldn't be certain and that terrified me. I allowed myself to be overtaken by my sobs.

* * * * * *

Suddenly, I felt the side of my bed bend down under the pressure of someone's weight. Something moved against my pillow and landed squarely in the middle of my back. Though I should have been frightened, I was mysteriously comforted.

_I should be wondering who is in here and how they got past the lock?_

"Bella, I know you're awake. Please uncover yourself before I do it for you," Alice's muted soprano came from above me. "I also know you've got something you want to ask," she prodded.

I took a deep breath, removed the pillow from above my head and rolled to my back. I placed the pillow in its proper position and sat up to face Alice.

"I guess you saw my search on the computer earlier today." It wasn't a question; I already knew the answer. I felt empty inside, wondering what it would mean if my fears were actually true. I searched her face, but she sat still as stone, expressionless. "Is it true, Alice?"

"Bella, I think I know what you're asking, but you need to actually ask out loud. I can't assume anything."

I placed my hands in front of my eyes and rubbed vigorously and wondered why she would need to hear me say it. Oh! I hadn't decided to say the actual word aloud, so Alice would not have seen that in a vision.

_How do ask someone a question like this? I guess I just spit it out._

"Alice. . . are you and your family not . . . human?" She stared at me, reading into the depths of my soul with her strange golden-toned eyes. "OK. I guess you are not going to answer that. Are you a vampire?" I heard my voice give out on the last word, leaving it barely a mouthed whisper.

Still, she stared, but her eyes unfocused – looking into some future, I was sure. When she finally returned to the present, she smiled at me, her teeth glinting in the lamplight. "I think we should take this downstairs with the rest of the family."

* * *

End Notes:

As always, thanks for reading. I hope you liked it. I have a couple more things to set up before Edward shows up but we're getting closer.

I posted my APOV for anyone interested. I plan on writing other POVs but I haven't yet. If anyone is interested in anything in particular, please let me know.

Is there anyone who is good at making banners? I am terrible at those things and I have no hope of making my own.

Please review. I love them all. Thank you so much for taking the time to do so.


	5. Confirmation and Communication

A|N:

Thanks for the interest in my story. For those of you who have reviewed, the time you have taken is always appreciated.

Thank you to everyone at Project Team Beta. You have helped me so much. Again, I strongly suggest everyone to use their services. The link is still in my profile. My work is my own but without the beta's to help, it would be worthless. They are looking for more betas if you are interested.

I would like to especially thank you for your persistence last chapter, Strider.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

* * *

5 . Confirmation and Communication

The walk to the first floor seemed to take an eternity. With each step, my pulse quickened and my breathing became more erratic. As we reached the bottom of the grand staircase, I thought that I would faint from hyperventilation.

Nothing was said as we walked across the living room and to the dining room. In fact, not a word had been spoken since Alice had uttered the request to join her family downstairs. I had just gotten out of bed and trudged behind her, following blindly – I couldn't even bear to look at her. We entered the dining room and it was reminiscent of my first night; everyone was already settled around the table when I arrived. I noticed that everyone wore the same stoic expression I had seen on Alice's face.

Carlisle motioned to the same chair I sat on during our last meeting. As I sank into my seat, I could not help but imagine that it felt like attending my own funeral.

_With my theory, perhaps it is exactly that. But somehow, I don't feel scared._

I was unable to look anyone in the eye. The swirling wood grain of the dark table had become particularly interesting, demanding all of my attention.

_What _have_ I gotten myself into?_

Carlisle cleared his throat, attracting my attention to his now standing figure.

"Bella, from your conversation with Alice, we know you have some concerns. Before we get into specifics, I am sure you have many questions. First, let me tell you that your assumptions about my family and I are correct. We are . . ." he hesitated looking at each family member before his gaze fixed on me, "vampires, as you've concluded." He held his hand up in front of him when I opened my mouth to speak, essentially cutting me off. "But, your view of our kind may be skewed. The common preconceptions perpetuated by popular books and Hollywood do not apply to our family." Carlisle spoke again, his voice laced with the stress of the situation. "Please have an open mind as I explain the circumstances to you." He trailed off again, apparently waiting for my reaction I assumed. He looked away, giving me time to sort through the jumble in my head.

I thought about the circumstances for a moment. I had been leaning toward this truth. I had not been harmed in any way so far. In fact, they were so good to me it was almost bordering on over-protectiveness, especially from Alice. The more I thought about it, the more it appeared that my decision was already made, made before I'd ever consciously chosen.

"Carlisle, as you know, this is quite a . . . shock. But since none of you have done anything to hurt me, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt," I answered. My voice was surprisingly calm despite the fact that the turmoil inside me made it feel like my stomach was digesting itself.

_You've made your decision, Bella. Now stick with it._

"Very well," Carlisle said, as he smiled in a resigned manner. "I would like to explain the situation." He looked to me again and I nodded, silently asking him to continue. "Although the arrangement is extremely dangerous for you, we would never intentionally hurt you. We spend our lives preserving humanity by denying the desire to drink human blood. We call ourselves 'vegetarians' because we feed from animals."

_Wow! I wonder how difficult that must be. Vegetarians? At least they have a sense of humor about their situation._

"Is that. . . difficult?" I asked

"It can be. Some of us have never tasted human blood. When we find it problematic to be near a human due to thirst, we normally do whatever we can to . . . avoid the temptation."

"Is that why Jasper doesn't come near me?" I inquired, turning toJasper to view his reaction. He nodded, his expression grave.

"Yes, Bella. I restrict my time with you, so as to minimize temptation," Jasper answered, quietly.

"I understand, Jasper. And, I'm really grateful for that, _really_." I smiled at him to express my appreciation for his respect of my life. "Is that also why I haven't seen Edward?"

"Yes," Carlisle answered. "He thought it was best to stay away rather than risk your life." Though his voice was steady, his expression was miserable. I felt a chill course down my spine. I was not sure if it was because of the obvious emotional stress I was causing him, or if it was due to the fear of Edward's reaction to me.

_I am splitting up this family with my mere presence. That's extremely selfish of me._

"Please let him know I am sorry for that," I responded, my voice barely able to reach above a whisper. Carlisle nodded. I turned to Alice and directed my next question to her. "Is that the reason you're psychic? Are all of you – "

"No, I am the only one with that talent. That is, unless you count people who piggyback, like you appear to do," Alice said with a slight smirk on her face. She winked at me and I couldn't help but giggle. Alice knew exactly what to do to make me feel comfortable regardless of the situation. "And we assume that I had some psychic ability when I was human."

"So you were all human at one point?" I blurted out before I could even filter the question. I was still finding it hard to believe that the people I was speaking with were not human, were not like me.

"Yes, of course we were," Carlisle answered, compassion coloring his tone. "I guess I should explain a little more. Shall I tell you my story?" He seemed eager to take a trip down memory lane, and I was more than a little curious about everything, so I was a willing ear.

"I was born in the sixteen-forties. I don't know the exact date, as things were different then and we didn't keep calendars and such as we do now. My father was a minister and a very strict man. My mother passed away giving birth to me. My father condemned and hunted many things, vampires included, in the name of religion, and it was expected that I would do the same. When I was twenty-three, I stumbled upon a real group of vampires, a coven – something my father had never found. I didn't know the danger, so I gathered a party and we struck one night. As the group we sought left their hiding place, I was attacked. It's amazing he didn't kill me. I suffered the transition in silence. When I awoke to this new life, everything seemed different. My senses were beyond compare. I could see everything, hear everything, smell everything . . . " He paused for a moment, and I assumed he was lost in his memories.

"I knew what had happened, and I fled the city. I didn't want to kill anyone. I tried many ways to commit suicide but it was impossible. My new form was nearly indestructible. After a few months of refusing to feed, I became very weak. I was virtually insane because of the thirst. One night, I attacked an entire herd of deer. When I came to my senses, I realized that I could live like this. It wasn't so different from eating meat, like I had before." He looked at me, willing me to understand his position. "After some time, I found that I could go to school and become a doctor. I'd always wanted that and now with unlimited time, it was possible."

"Wow! You were only twenty-three." I was shocked by his story. Then reality hit me. He was much older than he looked and should by all accounts be long dead. "So you don't age? I guess we are in similar boats then. We are all older than we look." I smiled, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"No, we don't age. We are also much stronger than you. Our senses are more acute, more defined than yours. And, we are much quicker."

_They pretty much excel at everything._

"No chance of escape, then?" I asked.

"Yes, the prey has no chance of escape, but you are safe here." He inclined his head toward me.

"I wasn't so worried about myself. You've not given me cause to be."

Even with the frightening revelation of what and how dangerous they were, I felt strangely comfortable and safe.

_Do I belong in an insane asylum? Not only do I believe that vampires exist, but I feel comfortable and safe with people who claim they are such creatures. Yep! I've _officially_ lost it. _

I decided to try and cut the tension in the room again. "So, who's the youngest?" Emmett raised his hand. "When were you born?"

"1915. So was Rosie, but I was born a few months after her. Physically, though, Edward is the youngest. I was twenty when my human life came to end. I had been left for dead after being attacked by a bear. Rosie, my angel, found me and brought me to Carlisle to save me."

"How were you . . .saved?" I was intrigued by this particular aspect.

Carlisle interjected. "Please understand that we do not have the same physiology as you. Our bodily fluids are venom-based and it is extremely poisonous. If left to infect and proliferate in the bloodstream of a human, it causes the transition. This is a very painful three-day process as the venom spreads. In the end, the individual's heart stops beating, completing the conversion process."

"Oh." _What else could I say? _"Okay."

"I am sure you will have more questions, but I think that is enough for you to handle tonight." Carlisle paused and glanced at the rest of the family. "Everyone else is free to leave. Esme and I would like to speak to Bella alone."

They quietly filed out, and I waited for the barrage of questions about my mental well-being.

"I know that this is a lot to take in, Bella," Carlisle acknowledged. "And if you want to leave, I will take you to the police. We understand that this is an unconventional and frightening situation. All we ask is that you not tell our secret."

_Did I want rid of this family? No. I feel tied to them; like I was meant to be here._

"I don't want to leave, Carlisle. Besides, I wasn't going to say anything to anyone."

"That's wonderful, sweetheart. We're more than happy that you plan to stay. We already think of you as family," Esme interjected, rushing to my side. She opened her arms for a hug and I had no qualms embracing her. The knowledge of her species in no way reduced the emotional tie I felt. She meant no less to me than she had before.

Upon that realization, I understood that I felt the same about all of them. Regardless of what they were, they had become like family and I was not willing to give that up.

* * * * *

As more time passed, Edward's absence began to weigh heavily on my mind. From discussions other than the 'big reveal,' I had been informed that my blood appealed to him in a way that no other human's blood had before. Although Jasper found it hard to restrict himself to the rest of the family's "vegetarian" diet due to his previous lifestyle, Edward had not experienced any problems for some time. But with me, he found it nearly impossible to refrain from consuming my blood and killing me. Oddly enough, this did not terrify me; it actually made me feel worse.

I knew that Rosalie hated having me there and that being near my scent was difficult for Jasper, and I felt horrid about being the cause of their discomfort. At least, I hadn't run either of them out of their home. My mere presence had been such an imposition that Edward could not even bear to be in his own house. I felt my rapidly increasing guilt eating me from inside. I knew Edward wasn't in the house, but I had the feeling he had traveled quite a long distance away.

It took a few days to work up my courage, but I finally broached the subject of his absence with Esme. On Monday morning, after I had been there for a little over a week, I confronted her.

"Where is Edward? I guess he isn't going to school, and no one even mentions his name. Is my presence keeping him away from the town?" I tried to sound nonchalant, but failed miserably.

An uncomfortable look graced Esme's beautiful face. "He has gone to stay with another group like ours up in Alaska. They are almost like extended family. It's. . . _easier_ for him to be there, right now" She tried to smile, but faltered.

I could feel the blood leave my face. "It's because of me. He has left his home because of me." A lump lodged itself in my throat and I swallowed convulsively. "He is so disgusted that my presence has forced him from his home completely. Why didn't anyone tell me? I thought he was just staying nearby. What kind of horrible person am I?" I was nauseated with myself.

"No, Sweetheart, don't think that way," Esme replied, pulling me into a hug. "Like Carlisle said, he just doesn't want to tempt fate with your life." I felt so atrocious at her attempt to comfort me, I tried to break from her iron grasp, but her grip tightened, effectively ending that possibility.

"I'm tearing your family apart, Esme. Maybe there's a solution that can allow me to stay close, without staying in your home. That way, I will not be such a temptation for everyone, especially Jasper. Maybe then your other son will be able to return." She loosened her grip and I pulled back to look at her face. "Do you think that I can discuss the situation with you and Carlisle when he returns from work?"

"Of course we can, dear." Esme replied with a tight smile.

I was on edge the rest of the day, anxiously awaiting Carlisle's return from work. I knew I could not stay and impose myself on this family much longer. At least, I could not stay in the same house much longer. I was ripping apart their family, and causing immense discomfort to all of them with my mere presence. They had been so selfless in providing for me, and it was selfish and unfair of me to force myself upon them, but I currently had nowhere else to turn.

As Carlisle's usual arrival time neared, I grew more and more nervous, though every once in a while I would feel engulfed by a wave of calm. It was strange how this would happen periodically, almost like I had no control over it. It was like some outside influence was pushing the emotion my way, causing me to feel briefly tranquil. I had experienced this before, but every time it was just as strange as the last.

Finally, Carlisle walked into the living room. I had just been hit by a practically stupefying wave of serenity, so I did not hear his car pull up or the accompanying sounds of the kitchen door opening and closing. I was beginning to feel annoyed by my inability to fight these weird feelings.

Carlisle walked over and beckoned Esme and I to meet in his study. I followed obediently, seating myself in one of the comfortable leather chairs in front of his desk. It seemed Esme, or someone else – Alice, maybe – had already explained the situation. Carlisle spoke first, and was well aware of how I felt, and my conviction about this particular decision.

"I know you feel your presence has been an imposition on our family, but that's not true." He raised a hand to stop my impending interruption.

_Does he know me, or what? _

"Please, let me finish. We already think of you as a member of our family, even though it has only been such a short time," Carlisle firmly declared.

_I doubt Rosalie feels this way._

He chuckled at my expression. He must have known exactly what I was thinking. I was such an open book. "That being said, I understand your feelings and desire to extricate yourself from the current situation."

"I don't mean to offend anyone, Carlisle. Everyone has been so kind and accommodating. You are the only people I know currently, and I am grateful for everything you have already done for me. I hate seeing your family separated and knowing that I am the cause. And, I can sense the tension my presence has caused for the members who have stayed. I don't think that I am strong enough, nor do I desire, to stay away completely. But, I was hoping that we could find a way for me to stay close without being such a nuisance. Also, I think it might help a bit for me to be by myself for a while. I think I need to learn how to be a little self-sufficient." I tried to explain, my voice straining with each syllable uttered.

Carlisle expressed his understanding and described a little cottage that was on the grounds owned by the family. It was relatively close, within a few miles. It wasn't currently in good shape, but with their strength and speed, they figured they could have it fixed up and ready for inhabitance within the week. It appeared that a portion still had a roof cover, and could provide adequate shelter for the night. I decided that it would probably be best if I started sleeping there starting the next night to alleviate some of the burdens I had been placing on the family. I would still need to return to the house during the day, as the cottage currently had no electricity or running water. Someone would stay with me throughout the nights until they could be sure the cottage was secure.

We made plans for fixing up the dwelling. This sort of thing seemed to be Esme's niche. She and I decided to discuss decorating ideas the next day when everyone else was out of the house. I quickly thanked them, and ran out of Carlisle's study. I was ridiculously excited to embark on this new adventure, even though I was terrified. I was also relieved that I would soon be less of a burden than I had been.

When I got to the living room, it was obvious that everyone had heard our conversation. Alice and Emmett were pouting, while Rosalie sat there with a smug expression on her face.

_Add unbelievable hearing to the list of reasons vampires excel. I guess they _are_ the top of the food chain and as such, _would_ have much better senses._

I sat down on the arm of the couch beside Alice and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. I did not mean for my decision to hurt her, but my constant presence seemed to be more of a burden to the entire family, including her husband.

"I know you're upset with me, but I really think it's for the best. I need to be as unimposing as possible on your family. And, I think I need distance . . . time alone . . . I need to rediscover myself, not who I am in reference to others. Of course, you're always welcome to visit. In fact, I'll be hurt if I don't see you at least once every other day." I smiled, trying to convey my desire to keep her as a large part of my life. I had come to think of her as a sister in this short time. I was a terrible liar, and I hoped she could not see the pain I attempted to cover with a mask of excitement.

Alice looked at me, a faint reflection of my smile playing on her lips, though it did not fully reach her eyes. "I'll hold you to that," she replied.

"I expect nothing less, Alice," I said, and then kissed her ice cold cheek.

I turned to Emmett. "Em, we probably won't see each other as often as we have been. I'm sure I won't have the amenities that are available here, so I'll definitely have to come and visit you – I expect to see you at my place, too." I winked at him, but he didn't budge, which was unusual for his normally sunny nature. "Now, don't make me come over there and try to knock that pout off your pretty little face," I added, jutting my own lip out. I knew that trying anything like that would result in injury to my hand, so I wouldn't even try it. I hoped my attempt at humor would break him out of his pout.

He finally chuckled, stalked over and started tickling me until I gasped an apology.

"Fine! I'm sorry. St-stop t-tickling me. Besides, I am sure hitting your face would hurt me much more than I could ever hurt you. You probably wouldn't even feel it!"

He laughed again and pulled me into a crushing hug.

"Too tight," I gasped. "A little too tight. Human, remember?"

"I'll miss you, 'sis."

"I'll miss seeing you every day, too. But it _is_ really for the best. I've been nothing but a burden to you all. I don't want to be a problem anymore."

We watched TV for a little while before the stress of the day caught up to me. "I think I am going to go to bed now," I said, yawning. "G'night,"

Alice shadowed my footsteps up to my room. She said she wanted to spend the time alone with me since this would be my last night here. She was still upset with me; I could tell by the way she held herself that she thought I was not making a good decision.

Once inside my room, she asked what things I wanted to take to the cottage. We looked around the room and listed everything I wanted, which wasn't much as Alice wanted to keep the room available for when I decided to return – she was adamant that I would not be gone long. For the rest of the night, we sat in silence. Every so often Alice would throw an idea for the cottage at me and we would briefly discuss this option. Somehow, she knew exactly what I would and would not like, even though I wasn't particularly sure. I repeatedly told her what an amazing friend she was.

Just before I went to bed, I debated whether to ask Alice if there was a way to contact Edward, preferably in writing. Since I was the ultimate coward, I thought that written communication would probably be easiest for me, as I had yet to speak with him and I was sure he hated me. I was the cause of his continued ostracism. Also, it was easier to compose myself through writing. I knew from the little time I had been around him before that I would not be able to form coherent sentences in his presence. I still felt butterflies battering my stomach when I thought of him.

Of course, as soon as I made the first decision to ask her, Alice knew of my intentions. Even though I wavered many times, she already had the address written on a piece of paper in her pocket. So when I walked over to ask her quietly, she just handed me the slip, grinned and pointed to her head.

"Psychic, remember?"

I couldn't help but laugh. I am sure she saw it flickering all night. We said our good nights and I went to compose my email. I started up the laptop, carried it over with me and sat on the bed to create the new message. It took several attempts, and the better part of two hours, to convey my emotions without sounding too pathetic. I read and reread the email multiple times before I held my breath and clicked send.

Dear Edward,

I apologize that my presence has caused this break in your family. Please believe that I would not impose these difficulties on you and your family if I had another choice. Currently, I am dependant on your family as they appear to be the only ones who can understand and accept my situation, and they have been so helpful in working toward a resolution.

As I wish to reunite you with your family and to alleviate your discomfort as much as possible, I have discussed the issue with Carlisle and Esme – two of the most accepting and wonderful people on this planet. It seems that there is a small cottage on your family's property. It is currently in a fairly dilapidated condition, but a portion is possible for habitation, at least for sleep. Your family has assured me the rest can be available for a permanent home within the week – an amazing and greatly appreciated gesture. As soon as it is possible for me to make this my residence, I will move there. After my move, I will have as little contact with your house so as not to inconvenience any of you further.

Hopefully, these actions will make it easier for everyone involved, especially you and Jasper. I am sure Rosalie will be pleased with my absence, as well.

I will work very hard to settle my circumstances as quickly as possible, considering my presence has caused enough trouble for your entire family, especially you. I am wholeheartedly grateful to everyone for having been so accommodating.

Please return to your family when you can. I do not want you to exile yourself anymore on my behalf. Again, I will do my best to remain out of your hair during my stay, and I resolve to make my time here as short as possible.

Also, I wish to thank you for the sacrifices you have endured so far. I am sure that you want to be with your family and I am beyond grateful that you have put my safety ahead of your own desires. It must surely be a monumental undertaking. Although I cannot fully comprehend, nor can I fully appreciate your efforts, I am entirely awed by your strength. I know we will more-than-likely not meet, but I hope - probably in vain - that this email can convey the appreciation I feel toward you as well as the remorse I feel for having put you through this.

Thank you so much,

Bella

As I lay there waiting for sleep to take me, a few questions came to mind. Why was I so desperate to have Edward understand my situation? Why was I so uncertain and nervous about this email? How could someone I'd never even met affect me in such a manner?

I came to the realization that my feelings were a result of my desire to have everyone in the family accept me. Since he probably hated me, I was trying to make him understand that I was genuinely regretful for putting everyone through the present situation. Lastly, in my desperation, I was certainly hoping to convey myself without sounding too pitiable in an email.

I then thought about what I wanted for the cottage. After much internal debate, I decided that I wanted to make sure that I had two specific things to occupy my mind while I was isolated there. I made the decision to speak to Esme about that in the morning.

* * *

End Notes:

So, this update was quicker than my last. I am currently working on a couple of extras and Chapter 6. I am finding Chapter 6 really difficult, so it may take a little while. I have the next few chapters outlined, and Edward will make his reappearance in chapter 8. Everything should have been set up by then. I know that is probably all everyone cares about, but I need to set up a few more things.

The cottage mentioned above is the one from BD. The distance from the main house was never confirmed so for my purposes, I'm making it closer than it probably was supposed to be. Human Bella is much slower than vampire Bella so I had to play with some things. But I am trying to make this as close to canon as possible.

I am not going to be able to update during the first weeks of November. I will not be in the country and will probably not have access to a PC. I will try to update at least 2X more before then (1 will be an extra), and I will try to update the week I return. I think I will bring a notebook and pencils so that I can write the old-fashioned way on the flight.

I don't know how I'll make it without the internet. No Twitter? How will I survive? And of course, it is right before New Moon comes out. I know I'm going to miss so much. I don't even know if I'll have access to English language TV but I really hope so.


	6. Sound and Sight

I want to apologize for how long it took to get this chapter out. It fought me every step of the way. I hope everyone enjoyed my EPOV and RPOV extras.

Thank you to everyone at Project Team Beta (especially furious kitten and Emmett_Lover). You have helped me so much. Again, I strongly suggest everyone to use their services. The link is still in my profile. My work is my own but without the beta's to help, it would be worthless. They are looking for more betas if you are interested.

Starting next chapter, I will have permanent betas. Please pray for us as we battle my comma deficiencies together.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

* * *

6. Sound and Sight

Esme and I spent the next morning in the living room of the main house, bonding over ideas for the cottage that was soon to become my home. From the items we chose, it was apparent I gravitated toward plain things as everything was fairly simple with clean lines. We worked together to select all that I would need from the various catalogues Esme had. It wasn't going to be a large home, but it was more than enough for me. There was even an extra room that I could use any way I wanted – though it was to remain empty for now.

As I had with Alice, I also made sure Esme knew that I wanted to have some of the shelves from my room in the main house sent to the cottage. I figured that since they weren't being used there, and I had already asked for more than I deserved, I might as well bring them along with me. I intended to fill a large portion with books, as I had found I had a voracious appetite for reading.

During my time alone, I had scoured Carlisle's office and found that not all his books were related to medicine, as I had first thought. Among the various medical texts, there was also a large section devoted to fiction. From my forays into this section, I had developed an affinity for the classics – though I had somehow felt drawn, oddly pulled to them from the very beginning.

I also found that I had a passion for music. When I listened to songs streaming during my online searches, I often discovered that I was immersed in the music rather than sifting through the websites on the screen. As a result, I thought that the shelves could also work as a space to store music should I buy some.

I had almost given up on the quest for recovering my past for the time being and decided that I would not waste my remaining time at the main house investigating endless sites of useless information. The lack of finding anything helpful had started to irritate me, and I became extremely frustrated with my circumstances. I figured that I'd allow myself some time to regroup; then hopefully I could come back and start fresh. Maybe a different outlook would provide another, more positive result.

I decided to hold off my research until I was alone at my new home, allowing myself to enjoy the time spent with Esme and the others while still at the main house. Also, I thought that by engaging my mind, I would have a way to abate the loneliness I was sure to feel when I was on my own in my new home. I was pleased that I was taking my burden from the family, and I hoped that Edward would return once I was no longer there. Maybe it would almost be like I had never existed.

During a lull in the conversation Esme and I were having, I remembered that the previous night, as sleep overtook me, I had decided to talk to her about the two things I'd really wanted in the cottage, so I broached the subject.

"I know I haven't mentioned this before, but . . .um, I was wondering if I could . . . " _Oh just spit it out, Bella. _"Could I borrow some of Carlisle's books?" I asked, rushing through the words like speed would make my request less of an imposition. A tiny flaw on my thumbnail had become immensely interesting. "I mean, the shelves will be really empty and I'd love to have something to read. I wouldn't keep them. I'd return them when . . . if I got replacements," I bargained, changing my focus from my hand to the wall across the room.

There was still another thing I wanted to ask, but I felt so awkward trying to ask for yet another thing – I hated asking for something else for myself – they had given me so much already. I took a deep breath and forced myself to face her before asking the next question. "Also, er . . . does anyone have CDs I could borrow or copy to the laptop? I'd probably feel less alone with something to read or listen to and I think the cottage would be perfect, if I had some distractions."

With my last sentence, an odd look came on her face.

I couldn't read the emotion so I decided to plug along, hoping I wasn't asking for too much, but knowing I was. "I'd like to have a way to listen while I'm there too, maybe speakers of some sort, if that's possible."

"Of course, dear," Esme replied, that strange sentiment still displayed on her face. I wished I could understand what it was. "Nothing would make me happier. I'd love to do that for you. Why haven't you mentioned this before?"

"I'm not sure," I hedged. "You have done so much for me and I guess it didn't seem that important." I mumbled the last bit of my response, trying to gloss over it.

"You're always important to us. Never question that, Bella." She pulled me close and hugged me to her chest.

My throat suddenly felt tight, and I was fighting back the wave of emotion that Esme's kindness had brought on when the doorbell rang. I opened the door to see a middle-aged, dark-haired man dressed in brown. I greeted him, and he explained that he had a delivery . . . with my name on it. I wondered who could have sent it – no one other than the Cullens and the cashier at the supermarket knew I was here. The questions in my eyes must have been apparent when I looked at Esme, as her responding glance was just as baffled. She came to join me at the door.

The delivery man handed me a clipboard and after signing for the small package, I took the little box from him. I was about to close the door when he said that there were four more, much larger boxes, waiting to be brought in. He pointed to the already loaded dolly positioned next to his truck.

_How hadn't I noticed the package count on the electronic clipboard I'd signed? _

The man left the larger boxes just inside the front door. I thanked him, and Esme nodded her head and grinned in a gesture of gratitude. She closed the door behind his retreating figure, and I turned to stare at the pile of boxes, amazed by their sheer size.

Esme came to my side and put her arm around my shoulder.

"Let's go sit down and see what you've got here, Bella," she chimed and led me to the couch to open the small package first. As I pulled the beautifully wrapped object out of the box, a slip of paper fell out. Esme caught it before it hit the ground and perused it briefly, a huge smile gracing her lovely features as she handed it to me. I read the little note on the slip:

_Bella,_

_I saw your conversation with Esme, and I believe that you'll know how to put this to good use. I also know that you'll try to decline it. Don't. You're a wonderful friend, and I really wanted to give this to you. Besides, if you do decide to fight, I'll win and you'll have the gift anyway. Remember: don't bet against me!_

_And since I know you'll want to fill it, ask Esme about the music collection upstairs. There's quite a selection there; I'm sure you'll find many items that interest you. It's quite extensive._

_Love,_

_Alice_

I looked more closely at the packing slip before I removed the wrapping paper. The small box contained an MP3 player/phone, and the large boxes appeared to be a variety of books, ranging from classics to contemporary. According to the slip, everything had been ordered the night before and shipped via rush delivery. Alice must have seen that I would want these last night when I made my decision to ask Esme about the additions to the cottage.

_Wow! How closely is Alice watching my future . . .that's kind of weird. I mean, can't I have any privacy . . . but, then again, I guess it's a really thoughtful gift. _

I was flabbergasted, of course, and I felt it was way too expensive. But I was also appreciative of her generosity, and I had already learned that Alice was not someone to cross. She seemed to almost control – maybe even manipulate – the future, not just see it.

I removed the silver rectangular-shaped device from its packaging. It was an odd-looking device, almost cartoonish with its big keys and rounded corners. It had buttons on the left and right of the main central touch-screen portion. The paperwork said it was a "Smartphone" and it had a browser, email and a full office suite.

_Amazing! All that on a portable phone._

After devouring all the information I could understand about the phone, I asked Esme where the music collection was – I was eager to load songs on it. She led me upstairs to the third floor and down the hall to the room opposite my current room – Edward's. I hovered at the entrance, not knowing whether I should enter.

I knew that as soon as I set foot in the room, he would be able to tell I had been there because my scent would probably linger for a while. I had found that all their senses, especially smell, were greatly enhanced. Being that I didn't want to anger him any further and that the opportunity this room offered had piqued my interest, I felt pulled to and pushed away from the area.

"Are you _sure_ he won't mind, Esme?" I implored. "I mean, having a stranger in your room, rifling through your things, isn't really what anyone wants. He should have some privacy, and I've already done more than enough to provoke him. That might be the proverbial final straw."

Esme let out a small laugh.

"I'm sure he won't mind," she stated. "In fact, he'll probably be pleased to have someone around who shares his love of music." She gestured to a wall filled with more CD's than I thought possible outside of a music store. My eyes were wide and my jaw practically hit the floor. Her soft laughter brought my attention back to the fact that I was still lurking in the doorway. Like a magnet, the assortment pulled my attention again, and I tentatively made my way across the room.

"Wow!" I said breathlessly, the awe in my voice unmasked. "What a collection! Do you know how it's organized?"

"I think he's sorted it by year, and then by his likes within that year," she answered, pleased by my reaction. "I don't know if that will make it any easier to find what you like, though. Is there any type of music that interests you?" She smiled at me, and I could tell that she was genuinely interested in learning more about me.

"I've been listening to quite a bit online, while doing my research, and I love Rock and Alternative the most, but I like almost all genres. I'm not too fond of Country, though there are some songs that I can stomach. I think, for the most part, the whining gets to be too much."

I laughed, slightly uncomfortable at my little outburst.

Esme chuckled along with me, a little twinkle in her eye.

"Yes, I know he'd like to talk about music with you. Your tastes appear to be quite similar. I'll leave you to grab what you like, so you can load whatever you find onto that." She gestured to the device in my hand. "I'll go order all the items we discussed. They should probably be here within the week. Have fun!"

I walked over to her and this time I pulled her into a hug.

"I am so thankful for everything, and I mean _everything,_ you've done," I blubbered. "I wouldn't have survived without you guys, and I don't know how I can _ever _repay you."

"There's no need for repayment, dear. Besides, we wouldn't want it – your happiness is all we need," she replied, disappearing behind the door frame.

I walked across the hall to my room and grabbed the laptop so I could load some of this impressive collection into the application for my MP3 player. I left my new gadget to charge and made my way back to the music wall.

* * *

Entranced as I was, I didn't notice how much time had passed while I sat on the gold rug in Edward's room. I did, however, hear Alice's clear voice when she called my name from the hallway. I looked at the clock and realized that I had been sitting there in the middle of the room for half of the day.

_How is it possible I didn't notice that much time pass?_

She opened the door, and I launched myself at her. I grabbed her into a full hug, thanking her profusely. After my Alice-like reaction, I realized I was very stiff. I stretched, feeling the pleasurable sensation travel through my body.

I decided it was best to join the rest of the world again, but I needed to finish the task at hand first. I just had a few more items I wanted to load on the laptop before I left the room, so I grabbed Alice's hand in an attempt to persuade her to sit next to me on the floor.

"Please sit for a minute," I pleaded. "I'm almost done."

I even tried the puppy dog look.

_If I'm channeling Alice, I'm going to go all out._

She opened her mouth to speak, when suddenly her body stiffened slightly and her eyes became unfocused. Like that evening when I first arrived, blurry images overtook my vision while I could still see Edward's room as well.

The scene looked like the inside of a car that was driving down a road . . . somewhere. From what I could make out, there was only one person in the car, and they hardly moved while the vision played out. The extremely blurry objects passing outside the car windows made it impossible to locate where this vision was taking place. But I could tell that the car was moving quite fast, speeding along, wherever it was. I could not place the time of day exactly, but it was obviously during the daylight hours – either early morning or late evening as the light was dimming. After a few moments, the image of the car's interior faltered and another setting took its place.

This view appeared to be of the massive living room below. It looked like an arbor, or something similar, was placed in front of a small gathering of people. Under the arch appeared to be a smaller group of people, but this portion was _very_ hazy. I noticed another figure, a woman, was walking through the center of the larger crowd towards the arbor. Though this image was not still – it was more like a movie playing in my head – it was extremely fuzzy. I heard Alice gasp, and that image vacillated and disappeared before yet another picture took over.

This image, though not moving as the others had been, appeared to be two women, arm-in-arm. One was tiny with a halo of short, black hair. _Alice maybe?_ The other appeared to be of somewhat average size and was a brunette. Both women were of the same skin tone, extremely pale. The two appeared to be very close – the picture somehow exuded friendship. Because this image was extremely unfocused, more so than any other I saw before, it was almost impossible to make anything out but the two shadowy figures. Just as the image faltered, something caught my attention. Where the brunette figure's eyes should have been was an odd color.

_Were her eyes . . . red? It appeared so. But they weren't just red; they glowed like a stop light. How strange._

That part of the vision made me feel uncomfortable. It was so unnatural, more so than even the Cullens' odd golden hue. Maybe I had just become accustomed to the yellow and it didn't bother me as much anymore – though their shade had never made me feel this uneasy.

Alice gasped again, and pulled away from my grip and I was instantly back in the present. I watched as her eyes slowly came into focus, again. After a few moments, I realized I could hear my own loud intakes of breath. She must have realized I could see all that.

I knew that there must have been more to her visions than I was able to make out, and I figured I should try to make sense of what had been shown. Since the glowing red eyes I saw unnerved me, I did not feel comfortable pressing that particular aspect.

"Alice, what were those visions?" I asked. "I really didn't understand much – if any – of it. Everything was so blurry."

She looked at me with a staggered expression that quickly morphed into an odd smirk and a small, almost unnoticeable nod. "Edward's coming home. He'll arrive the morning after the cottage is finished."

The gleam in her eyes made me slightly wary, but I decided not to comment on that either.

"Was it him driving the car in the first vision?" I inquired, and she nodded an affirmation.

_Good. He's coming back to his family, and I'll be at the cottage by that time. I'll no longer interfere with his life. _

I tried to convince myself that this was what I wanted, yet a wave of sorrow hit me.

_I'm probably just worried because I'll be all alone soon._

I tried to distract myself from that train of thought. "What were the other two?" I pressed. "I really couldn't see anything clearly."

She just giggled and replied, "I'm not one-hundred percent sure, yet. We'll have to wait and see." She flashed me a huge grin. "I need to tell everyone that Edward's going to be home soon. Meet me downstairs." She sprang up, dashing fluidly out of the room.

I stood there, confused in the wake Alice left.

I figured it was late, so I quickly finished up in Edward's room. I knew he'd know I had been there, so I left a note explaining why. I apologized for invading his personal space, and thanked him for having such a varied selection of music. I also let him know that I tried to keep everything organized as he had, but that I was bound to have slipped up with something. So I apologized for that, too. I taped the note to the door, where I knew he would see it – though I probably could have left it anywhere.

I felt a sudden and odd surge of grief as I walked from his room. I didn't understand this feeling, so I put it away, locked in a drawer with the other peculiarities I had experienced recently. I figured I would think over these at a later time.

* * * * * *

Since I wanted to ease myself into living at the cottage and the main living area was somewhat habitable, I decided to start sleeping there at night. Also, I thought it would be easier for most everyone if I spent time away, letting them get back to their normal routine.

There had been quite a few arguments from Alice, Esme and Carlisle, but I was stubborn and I eventually won out.

After eating dinner, I made my way to the garage. I needed to gather quite a few things together in order to be comfortable. Luckily, this family feigned camping very often and they had the gear to prove it. I guessed it was all keeping up with the human charade.

I was sure that they were the best customers at the local camping store- their supply inventory was massive. Since it was December and bound to be cold in the non-heated cottage, I grabbed a sub-zero sleeping bag, a few warmers and some lanterns from the garage. Then I packed some clothes and long johns in a small backpack. There was a fireplace in the room I would be using, so that was at least some comfort. I gathered everything together and met my walking companions in the living room.

Both Alice and Esme traveled with me to the cottage. It was closer than I had expected, and we made it within half an hour, even going at my slow pace. Alice was going to stay with me throughout the night, for which I was extremely grateful.

Staying in the decrepit remnant of a house alone would probably be very frightening and lonely. I was so happy to have company, especially company that could prevent any animal from harming me. Despite her miniscule size, Alice was a force to be reckoned with. And her talent was also helpful in most any situation.

As the temperature dropped, I decided it was best to light a small fire. Alice and I talked for a little while before I drifted off to sleep. The next morning, I awoke to Carlisle and Esme working on the cottage. I briefly wondered how I had missed Alice's departure and their arrival.

When I was lucid, they explained that they would do what they could alone, and the other members of the family would come to help them after school. Carlisle had taken the rest of the week off from the hospital to help Esme with the cottage, so the entire family was available for the weekend.

They said that they thought they would be able to finish the cottage for me on Sunday night – which was utterly amazing. And I would be able to start using it permanently then.

They also informed me that Alice had seen that Edward would be back in time for school on Monday morning. My stomach flipped when that was announced, though I was uncertain why.

* * *

End Notes:

Thanks again for reading. Please leave a review.

Like I mentioned in my Author's Note, I have posted a few extras. I hope you enjoy them. I have a few ideas for others and have started some of them.

I have also started an AU/AH on FFnet. That will probably remain there until this story is finished. I don't want to have to wait a long time before posting another chapter because I have a new story waiting in the queue. This story will take precedence over that so updates will be more infrequent for the AU/AH.

My next chapter is almost ready for beta so it shouldn't be anywhere as long until the next update.

I hope to have a banner relatively soon! I'm really excited for this. I am a complete failure at anything artistic. If it was up to me, I would have used MS Paint!

I've thought about creating a thread for this story over on the forum, but I'm not sure whether anyone would be interested. Maybe I could use it for updates, teasers or questions that I can answer without giving too much info away.

Someone has asked whether we will learn more about Bella's past soon. I assure a teeny tiny tidbit is coming, but it won't be for a couple of chapters.

Next up: shopping with Alice. You know you want to.


	7. Changes

Thank you to everyone at Project Team Beta. You have helped me so much. Again, I strongly suggest everyone to use their services. The link is still in my profile. My work is my own but without the beta's to help, it would be worthless. They are looking for more betas if you are interested.

Starting this chapter, I have permanent betas. Their knowledge of not only the technical aspects of writing and the character's personalities, but also of my silly little storyline has helped immensely. I hope it shows in this chapter. Thanks so much, Strider and jfk06, you've really helped make my chapter readable.

As always, thanks for being my Twilighted Validation beta, too, Strider. People, this woman is amazing. Not only does she have to read and correct my rough versions, but she has to reread and validate the final.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

* * *

7. Changes

After a few days and nights of intense work, my vampire family – even Rosalie, though I was sure she was just aiding to be rid of my presence – had created a cottage that was a vision. It looked like it had been transported straight from a fairytale, utterly perfect and quaint. I wondered which character I could be and settled on Snow White. She fit my hair and complexion best.

_Now all I need is a handsome Prince Charming._ _Yeah, right._ _Like _that's_ever__ going to happen_.

It was even more perfect inside than had been hinted by its "curb appeal." It consisted of a small living room/dining room combo, two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a kitchen. I was not sure why I would need the extra bathroom – I was the only one who would ever use it – but I wasn't complaining.

Somehow, despite the distance from civilization, the cottage had all the amenities: electricity, running water and even internet access. I wasn't sure how they had gotten everything in place – they were ingenious – and I thought I probably wouldn't understand all the technical aspects should they try to explain, so I never asked. However, I was sure large amounts of money had been spent to allow me access to everything I could ever need or want. It was absolutely all I could desire.

The first and largest bedroom had an adjoining bathroom and a walk-in closet that reminded me of my closet at the main house. Alice had ensured that most of my wardrobe was brought over and organized in this closet even though she still insisted I wouldn't be gone long – she had become even more adamant about that since my first night sleeping at the cottage.

_She has her priorities_.

The bedroom I chose to sleep in had the most beautiful bed I had ever seen, and the connected bathroom was just as well-stocked as my old one. I was pleased with the furniture Esme and I had picked. Every piece looked like it belonged and subsequently made me feel like I belonged. It was almost like the house had been designed for both the furniture and me, even though it existed before my presence here.

As I settled down to start my solitary life in my little piece of perfection, I began to feel uneasy. I spent time trying to pinpoint the reason, and after an in-depth analysis, I realized that my anxiety stemmed from the fact that Edward would be returning early the next day. This made me nervous for many reasons, both obvious and obscured.

First, and the least important, I was frightened because of the way I smelled to him. I was pretty sure he would do everything in his power not to act on that impulse. All his actions up to this point had been against his desire for my blood; he had amazing will-power. I was in awe of his strength, though I had never met him. I figured that he must be tightly bound to the type of life he has with his family to resist the temptation he felt.

Next, I knew I would not see _my_ family members – as I now thought of them – as often as I had been. My exile to the cottage sealed the fact that I was practically trapped there; it was a fairly large distance to the main house, especially for someone as uncoordinated as me. Not that I had planned on going there – Edward and Rosalie probably hated me, and after everything the entire family had done for me, I didn't want to be seen as a pest. For some reason, maybe it was because I had never even gotten the chance with Edward, his apparent dislike of me cut me to the core.

I could not allow him to separate himself from his family because of my presence, and I would not let myself become a burden. Although I was extremely pleased with my accommodations, my self-imposed separation weighed on my mind and I was filled with loneliness.

Of course, distance from this family was not my only reason for feeling so separate from everything. I was truly lost. I had no roots, nothing to ground me. I had exhausted all the avenues of research I could think of. Carlisle had even spoken to many people but there was no progress. I didn't match the description of anyone who had gone missing in the surrounding area. Of course, I had practically nothing to go on but the continued lack of finding anything of substance made me think that I must have one of my "facts" wrong.

There had been one false lead, so insignificant it didn't even warrant obsessing over it. But since I had nothing else to distract me, that was what I had done, obsessed. I had allowed the prospect of finding myself to consume me. For longer than I'd like to admit, I sat staring at the email waiting in my inbox. I knew it was possibly some sort of Phishing scam, but I couldn't help the fact that it got my hopes up, leaving me heartbroken and even more miserable when nothing panned out.

Worse than the disappointment I felt was the fact that I had begun to think that I wasn't alone in my search for. . . me, only to have this ripped from my grasp. Still I held hope that there must be someone looking for me as well. I refused to believe that I would be alone once I found information about my life. I rejected any idea that I would not find out anything about myself; that was an unacceptable alternative.

As I sat pondering my isolation, a knock on the door broke me from my reverie. I raced over and found Alice waiting on my front step holding out my laptop.

"Hey, Bella," she greeted before I could even open my mouth. "I saw this was left in your room, and I decided to bring it to you. I was sure you'd want it soon."

"Sure," I laughed at her transparency. "And, you didn't know I would forget it when we moved everything?"

"Okay. Maybe I just wanted to spend some time alone with you."

"You know you don't have to make excuses to visit, Alice," I said as she rushed past me and sat on the couch. I was ecstatic that she had chosen to spend time with me; it allowed me less time to sit and wallow. "So, do you need to go back right away?"

"No, of course not," she answered with a huge grin. "You've got me all night. Jazz and Em went hunting. They're going to try and meet Edward before he comes home. Emmett's got it in his head he can surprise Edward. Like that could ever happen."

Her mention of Edward's name caused butterflies to batter the walls of my stomach, and I hated it.

"Besides, I'm on duty tonight."

"Duty?" I asked, feeling curious for the first time in ages. It was nice to feel something other than despondency.

She grinned sheepishly. "Um. . . yes. We've decided that we can't leave you out here alone. So one of us will be around watching over you, in a way. It'll mostly be me. That way, I get to spend lots of time with my best friend."

I felt terribly guilty for this latest imposition, but I couldn't find anything to push me to tell her that it was unnecessary. I couldn't take care of myself. I had proven that many times over.

"Oh, Alice. I love spending time with you. You're sure it's no problem?" I tacked on at the end as more of a statement that a question. I couldn't help it; I was feeling guilty at my self-centeredness, trying to gloss over it.

_Selfish, selfish, selfish._

"Of course, silly. You couldn't keep me away if you tried. Besides, there are things you don't know about, things that are very dangerous to you, especially out here."

"What kind of things?" I asked, thoroughly distracted by this news.

"Well, you know that we are not typical of our kind, right?" she asked. I nodded. "Well, our. . . lifestyle is interesting to them. We often receive. . . guests. They're usually just curious. But, since this house is pretty isolated, what with it being so far in the woods, we feel it's better for one of us to be here, just in case."

"Oh," I breathed. "Protection from _that_ kind of predator. I'm so glad you're going to be near, then." My shame flew out the window as fear settled in.

Alice and I spent the next few hours talking about the cottage and her life at school. I was beginning to feel jealous of her contact with others. I thought that maybe I should find a way to get more social interaction. I wasn't sure just how yet, but I knew it was necessary. After our conversation had run out, Alice left to allow me some sleep.

I awoke to a dreary day, perfectly matched to my mood. My life had now changed, more than likely for the worse. I was alone. Of course, it was through my own doing. Nevertheless, I was alone. I now had two people living in my family's house that possibly loathed me. I did not see how I could be welcome there. Despite what I had said to Emmett, I would probably not visit very often and I did _not_ expect to see him at my cottage much, either – Rosalie was unbelievably formidable.

I spent most of the day reading one of my favorite books about the tribulations of love and life on an English moor, and listening to music. I was trying to ease my nerves and settle my stomach. It didn't help much as I felt myself wallowing more in self-pity with each passing second. I was pathetic.

Shortly after one in the afternoon, I decided to force myself to do some more research. After a while of treading water on that matter, I had tried the usual missing persons sites and even some random Google searches to no avail, I gave up and decided to take a nap. I was beginning to feel like maybe I hadn't existed before my awakening in the woods. Maybe I was an anomaly, some fictional character come to life. How could it be that I had _no_ past?

I flopped on the couch, scraping it across the floor a few inches and fell off to sleep.

My watery eyes opened to a horrific sight. There, before me, stood a tiny black-haired demon – she had interrupted a pleasant nap – cheerily twittering at me.

"What do you _need_, Alice?" I questioned, my voice still thick with sleep and irritation. "I'm going to kill you if it isn't good."

She ignored my tone.

"School's done, and I've come to get you out and about," she chirped, practically jumping up and down beside my bed. "You've been moping too much. You need to be around people so we're going shopping."

G_uess she saw my decision to socialize more._ _But how can she think _shopping_ would lighten my mood?_

I groaned and sat up in the bed rubbing my bleary eyes.

"Who's going?" I asked reluctantly. "Is it just you and me? I wouldn't want to get in anyone else's way."

Alice laughed. "Don't be so silly, Bella," she said, moving her eyes up and down my form, taking in my entire appearance. "You wouldn't be in anyone's way, but it will only be the two of us, anyway. Now please get yourself pulled together so we can leave as soon as possible. I'll have to settle for you looking human, as that appears to be the best we can do without hours of intervention."

Her critique stung but I ignored it. I knew I was nothing compared to any of them – supermodels would feel inadequate. She grabbed my hand and pulled me up then sat down on my bed.

"Go! Get ready! I know exactly where I want to go. I think you're in need of a new outfit as well as a visit to. . ."

She didn't finish her idea, opting instead to grasp a piece of my hair in her dainty fingers and scowl at it. Finally, she stood up and started flailing her extended index finger at me. "Honey, what's this? What's happening? What's going on here?" Obviously, _she_ was not happy with my current state.

"Alice, quit the Chihuahua on crack routine. I am _not_-"

"Listen, Bella," she stated, glaring at me with her hands on her hips. "This can be easy, or it can be hard. Either way, I'm getting what I want."

From her stance and tone, I knew there was no point arguing the fact that I _would_ be joining her. She had a knack for manipulating the future to her desired outcome; I realized I may as well just comply with her demands. That talent must come from her gift.

I looked into her innocent expression, so perfect it had to be false. "Fine, I'll go," I said and then stuck out my tongue. "For someone so tiny, you are extremely pushy."

_What was _that_? I can't believe I just poked my tongue out at her. What? Am I five? _

Spending time with teenagers, even if they are all quite a bit older than me, was beginning to take its toll.

I giggled to myself at this revelation; I was oddly comfortable with it. Luckily, Alice was already walking toward the door and did not pick up on the amusing scene I must have just played out.

As she exited, she gestured to a chair in the corner. "I have already laid out an outfit for you. I'll be waiting in the living room. Hurry up," she commanded again, waving her hand in my direction when she gracefully disappeared from the doorframe.

"You know, Alice," I began, "if you'd just let me wear an outfit or use an item more than once, all this shopping wouldn't be necessary." Even though I had access to a washer and dryer, Alice refused to let me wear clothes a second time. At first she played it off like she wanted to wash them and would bring them back to me, but as time progressed, I realized that I never saw any article she took again. I had chalked it up as giving her a reason to shop.

_Like she _needs_ a reason._

"What would be the fun in that?" she called from my living room. "Now get ready." Her exasperation was amusing and I half entertained the idea of keeping it up, but quickly decided against that when I heard her groan from the living room.

I grabbed the bundle of clothes laid on my chair. Considering that Alice chose it, the outfit wasn't unacceptable. It would cover all the necessary areas, but it was still slightly revealing and fancy. It would not allow me to blend with the crowd as I wished. Of course, just being out with Alice would never allow for anonymity.

Even though I was sure Alice would feel that I was taking too long, I took a quick shower. Then, I brushed my teeth and got dressed. I was uncomfortable with the amount of skin the outfit left uncovered, but I had to admit that Alice knew what she was doing. The color she chose was flattering and the cut actually accentuated the few positives of my figure. I was amazed that she could do so much with such a small amount of raw material.

I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and left the room. When I stepped out of my room, I saw Alice standing in the living room staring at my relatively blank walls.

"We need to get you some pictures or artwork. This place needs a little personalization. It's so boring. Even though you won't be here long, it doesn't need to be dreary." She pointed to my empty walls. "That's one more thing to add to my list today. Let's get going. With your speed and grace," she rolled her eyes, "we'll need to rush to have enough time to get everything done."

I felt my cheeks warm with embarrassment; I hated having my clumsiness thrown in my face. "Yes, let's go."

We walked out of the cottage and I closed the door behind me. Alice turned to face me.

"You'll have to _run_ with me . . . " Alice trailed off.

"Run?"

"Yes, on my back," she replied. "Why are you laughing? It's not funny. I can easily run with you on my back."

"I don't know if I'm . . . comfortable with that, Alice," I squeaked. "I mean, I know you're strong and everything but you're so much smaller than me."

"Just hold on," she commanded, grabbing me and flinging me on her back. "We'll _never_ get everything done if we travel at your pace."

She began running and I was filled with wonder – and butterflies. The foliage moved past us in an unending green blur. If it hadn't been for the constant vague impression of trees, I wouldn't know we were moving. Her actions were fluid, flowing like a waterfall. Still, my stomach flipped as we traveled.

When we finally stopped, only a few minutes later, I thought I was going to be sick. Alice extricated me from her back and put me onto the hood of a large vehicle.

"Are you all right?" she asked, her eyes growing distant. "Yes, you will be in a couple of minutes."

I was glad she could answer her own question as I was not up to speaking at the time.

I hadn't been able to tell where we ran to but it was clearly not the house. We were at an enormous SUV, which appeared to be parked on the side of some highway. Maybe it was closer than the house. I gathered myself together as I began feeling less nauseous. After a few minutes I felt almost normal, so I made my way to the passenger seat.

I closed the door and fastened myself in. I in no way expected the harrowing experience driving with Alice involved. It was much more worrying and frightening than running attached to her back had been. She whipped around corners and sped along highways, weaving in and out of the other drivers. I held on for dear life.

Alice pulled into a spot in the parking lot and we made the trek into the mall. I found out that we had driven in Emmett's Jeep; Alice said it was large enough for our "spoils." The almost predatory gleam I saw in her eyes whenever she mentioned shopping had me truly terrified of the prospect. I had seen that same look when she spoke of her last meal. I wondered if she thought of shopping as similar to the "thrill of the hunt." Sometimes she was gone for days when she hunted and since she never tired, I knew I was in for a long afternoon.

_Thank god the stores close at some point!_

As we drove I had tried to find something familiar. There was nothing I recognized; it was like I was seeing everything for the first time. I felt even more disheartened by this, wondering if anything would ever feel known. The parking lot, though common enough, a blacktop with lines separating spaces, did not ring any bells.

We walked toward the building. The only thing that stood out was how odd it looked. Yet again nothing seemed familiar. However, the building was memorable. It appeared to have been an industrial building of some sort prior to its recent incarnation. It wasn't pretty, but it was oddly picturesque. The structure stood on the waterfront and the main part of the building was painted a light yellow, almost a dark shade of cream, maybe butter cream. A small section was painted a rusty red, while another was a bluish grey. Though it was interesting, I felt emptiness at its strangeness.

We entered through glass doors and I noticed a round staircase directly to my right. It was metallic and appeared to have orange fish swimming up the sides of a blue background. I wondered if it was salmon swimming upstream. I found it unusual and kind of ugly – though, as with the building, it was oddly picturesque. The oddities of this place only further cemented the fact that I did not know it. The emptiness grew into a hollowness in my chest.

Alice immediately grabbed my hand and dragged me toward a shop. Outside the large doorway was a black sign with pink lettering proclaiming this to be a shop called "Art Gallery and Gifts." Alice must have been intrigued with this shop as we spent over an hour there, choosing paintings and decorations for my humble abode. I would have expected her to know exactly where everything she wanted was, but she scoured through the merchandise, inspecting each item with the utmost care. It was an amazing sight to watch her flit around picking the most perfect embellishments. She was very good at discerning exactly what would suit my tastes, probably having seen my future answers once she decided to ask my opinion on an object.

I would have never chosen some of the items, they were a little too masculine for me but she assured me that they would accent everything impeccably. She threw around phrases like "this will come in handy" and "he'll love this" when she chose a few of those items. I never asked who the "he" was – I didn't think I would break through her abstraction.

It was surreal to be a part of the whirlwind that was Alice without having to actually join in, kind of like standing in the eye of a hurricane. I watched the mayhem swirl around me while I stood transfixed and strangely calm in own little bubble. I was exhausted just watching her.

After paying, Alice asked the shop attendant to hold the items until we could pick them up later. She adeptly handed him what I can only assume was an abundant tip, and he graciously acquiesced.

_Money gets you everywhere! But, I guess her beauty doesn't hurt either. I couldn't imagine any door that wouldn't be opened by that degree of beauty. Wonder if I could _ever_ get the same type of treatment?_

After that store, we had a similar experience in the Ideus Gallery. Then Alice brought me to one of the restaurants and made me eat dinner. During my meal, she anxiously kept checking her watch, in turn making me nervous. She informed me that we had one hour to "pick an outfit" before my appointment. The revelation of a prior arrangement stopped me dead in my tracks. This was supposed to be a spontaneous girls' night out, yet I had an appointment for something. I suddenly realized I had been duped.

"What have you scheduled me for?" I asked sternly, trying to assert authority.

She looked over my shoulder, ignoring my question.

"What did you schedule, Alice?" I asked, my irritation taking over my voice.

"Nothing terribly important. You'll love it. I promise." She giggled and looked me straight in the eyes. "You don't need to worry about it just now. In fact, _you_ just don't need to worry."

"Why won't you tell me?" I practically begged. "I hate surprises."

"Oh, you'll like this one" she taunted me, adding a little smirk. "Especially when you see the final result. Just trust me, please?"

The whine in her voice, the pout on her face and the look in her eyes persuaded me to go against my instincts and agree to her request. Obviously I was _not_ going to like whatever it was if she wouldn't straight out tell me.

"Fine, but I'm letting you know if I don't like it."

"Oh, you will," she trilled, her voice raising an octave at her victory.

I changed tactics and tried to find out why I would need a new outfit, what with all the clothes she had already bought and created for me. Again, she would not budge in supplying anything more than a small smile and a cryptic, "I've foreseen it as useful."

Her tight-lipped, puzzling responses fueled my interest and I found myself sucking down my dinner. After the last bite entered my mouth, she pulled me up and towed me to a clothing shop. She walked into the store like she owned it.

_Ah! To have such confidence_.

There was no falter in her step as she immediately pounced a clothing rack towards the center back of the shop. Without delay, she picked out a pair of pants and an undersized matching jacket. I thought that they would look stunning on her, of course. She placed the hangers in my hands and bolted for another rack. There, she grabbed two blouses, one a deep blue, the other a pink. She handed me those and then pushed me towards the dressing room. I was amazed that she meant me to try on the garments in my hands. Besides the fact that there was no way these itty-bitty clothes would fit _me_, I knew I would not have the confidence to pull off this style. That was something meant for Rosalie or Alice, not me.

I opened my mouth to argue with her, but she attacked offensively.

"These will look fabulous on you," she hissed as she threw me into the dressing room. "Now, don't argue."

I tentatively closed the door to the small room and began to try on the articles. To my amazement, not only did they fit perfectly but they did look great on me. The blue from the v-neck blouse offset the color of the suit perfectly and we decided to go with that one. The cut of the jacket accentuated my figure. The only thing that made me self-conscious was the blouse's neckline. It was a little too daring for me. But Alice assured me that it looked divine – her word, not mine – and was in no way too revealing. By the time I had dressed myself and left the changing room, Alice had already grabbed many more articles of clothing.

"I know these will look superb on you, too. I only had you try on this," she gestured to my new outfit, "so that you could see my vision, and in turn, to convince you about these. I've gotten a few things for myself, as well. But, we must hurry. Your appointment is in 15 minutes."

Alice once again paid for everything, and we made our way across the mall – Alice deftly avoiding all the holiday shoppers and me stumbling behind to keep up. Alice walked up to the front desk of a place called "The Salon on the Landing." We were greeted at the podium by a young blond girl. My heart sank as I realized _this_ was my appointment.

"Come on, Alice," I whined. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Be serious, Bella," she retorted, shaking her head in disdain. "_I_ am. You know as well as I do that you've been looking pretty ragged, and you really need to get yourself sorted out. I'm just. . . helping that along. Heaven knows you both need the help." Her eyes were bright, gleaming with a strange excitement. "Besides, what's a little push in the right direction?"

"Both?"

"Oh, just get in there," Alice said as she pushed me towards a pretty dark haired woman waiting behind the greeting area.

Not wanting to make a scene, I accepted defeat and followed Nikki, as her nametag displayed, over to her styling area. We discussed my options.

"For your face shape- you're a heart, by the way – we should really try to draw attention away from your chin. I suggest a side part, with side-swept, wispy bangs. I think we should keep your hair long, but layer it." She ran her fingers through my tresses. "It looks like your hair is naturally pretty straight with a bit of a wave. That'll suit your face, as well. Your color is so beautiful; I love the red highlights. I don't think we should do anything to change it. Besides, you're way too young to start with all that. Give it a year, or two. What d'ya think?"

_Great. Someone else mentioning my age._

I decided to let that comment slip – she didn't know mycircumstances.

"You're the professional! I'll go with whatever suggestions you make. I don't know how I want my hair to look. If I don't like it, which I doubt will happen, it'll always grow back."

It wasn't like I cared that much about my appearance, anyway – at least I hadn't before the confusion surrounding my age. I considered myself low maintenance – wash, throw on some clothes and step out of the door. Besides, it wasn't like I had anywhere to go or anyone to see. No one even knew where… or who I was.

"All I want is for it to be simple," I qualified. "I don't want to have to spend lots of time on it. I'm pretty easy going other than that."

"Sure. The cut should be perfect for that."

My hair was washed, and then Nikki worked her magic. I wasn't allowed to face the mirror, per Alice's instruction, so I sat there as I heard the snipping of the scissors and felt the comb pulling my hair this and way and that. The whole process didn't take as long as I had expected, and she was done cutting before I knew it.

After she finished drying my hair, Nikki turned me around to the mirror. My reflection was surprising. I actually looked pretty. Nikki had been right. The style suited me perfectly. And, best of all, it made me look a little older. She had such a way with hair! I thanked her profusely and made my way to Alice.

By the time I arrived at the front, Alice had already paid and was waiting anxiously, as evidenced by the rhythmic tapping of her foot and her crossed arms. When I came into view, she clapped her hands together and hopped a tiny bit. Then, she ran up to me and pulled me close into a hug.

She held me out at an arm's length. "You look so beautiful, Bella." She beamed at me. "Much better than I could have foreseen. A _true_ vision." She rolled her eyes. "Honestly, though, you will look just right." That odd gleam shone in her eyes again.

_Just right for what?_

I was worried that I didn't want her to answer that question, so I just shook my head at her, laughing. "Thank you, Alice. I am glad I was so hideous before."

She laughed, rolling her eyes yet again, and loosened her embrace, leading me towards the door.

"Now, let's go. It's getting late and this place is about to close. But, above and beyond that, you look like you're about to drop from exhaustion," she giggled.

We walked to the car, my arm wrapped around her shoulders and hers wrapped around my waist, laughing and joking as we made our way. I heard her softly sigh and say something I couldn't quite make out under her breath, but I swore I heard her breathe the phrases "way to go, Alice" and "on the right path." Those particular comments confused me but, since I was clearly not meant to hear it, I ignored her.

When we arrived at Emmett's unnecessarily large vehicle, the day's spoils were already there. She must have picked up everything when I was in the salon. The jaunt back to the car seemed much quicker than the walk in had been. Alice could not stop gushing over my hair and, truth be told, neither could I.

"Thanks again, Alice. I didn't realize that I needed this time with you," I prattled. "I can't believe how wonderful today was. You're the best friend a girl could have." I couldn't get rid of the stupid, overenthusiastic smile gracing my face, and I didn't care. Alice had a knack for breaking me from my brooding. She was magnificent.

"Oh, Bella. You are just the sweetest friend a person could have." She grinned at me.

As I situated myself in the passenger seat, she reached out a hand to me, holding out a little rectangular, plastic card.

"I almost forgot," she said, her grin broadening. "Next time, you'll have your own means of payment."

"Um . . . yeah, Alice . . . I don't think –" I tried to refuse, but she cut me off.

"Be reasonable, Bella," she admonished. "Christmas is almost here, and you'll need a way to buy everyone gifts."

"With their own money? How _thoughtful_. Besides, how am I going to go shopping without you or Esme?"

"First of all," Alice began, "this money belongs to everyone in the family – we all use it. And since you're family, you're included in that. As for shopping, you have a laptop and a wireless connection, use them."

I opened my mouth to protest, but she stopped me before I could utter a syllable.

"Remember what I said about betting against me?"

I thought she meant her question rhetorically but when I didn't answer, she huffed and raised her eyebrows.

"Don't," I answered listlessly.

"Exactly," she said in a sing-song voice.

"Fine. Give it to me. But I'm not happy with the manipulation, Alice."

"Oh, honey, here, charge yourself a little happy." She thrust the card into my lap and I knew the argument was finished. "And don't worry about falling asleep on the way home; you have had a long afternoon."

I laughed, knowing that a nap was obviously on the agenda. I hadn't realized how tired I was feeling until she mentioned it. As I nodded off, I replayed the more pleasant portions of the day: the tiny, elfin face waking me; how I felt in my new outfit; my new haircut; and the strong friendship I felt toward Alice. Of course, after how lonely I had been feeling earlier in the day, the last bit was the best.

In my drowsy haze, that moment between sleep and awake, I swore I could hear Alice humming a tune. I briefly wondered what it was, but all my languid thoughts could muster was that it sounded like the song "Matchmaker" from "Fiddler on the Roof."

* * *

End Notes:

Thanks again for reading. Please leave a review. I love them all.

So, that was shopping with Alice. Yes, I know bits were cliché. This chapter was my longest so far. I hope that made up for the delay in getting it out.

I have started a thread on Twilighted: http://twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=33&t=7526 Please come and visit. I will post teasers/answers to questions/random other stuff there.

If you like, I have a twitter account, too. http://twitter(dot)com/bonnysammy Difficult, right?

FL – I hope you caught the Karalice pieces thrown in there for your benefit! lol Thanks for the idea.

There were two nods to Will & Grace above. One was _extremely_ easy to pick out, while the other may not have been. Props to the first person who can tell me both! Maybe I'll think of a "gift." Hmmm. Maybe a short extra (maybe 1000 words) from part of the story already posted or before? You could even offer a suggestion for such extra. That's not a definite; I'll need to think about it to be sure.

I'm not sure if my next posting will be a chapter here or an extra, we'll see.

Next up, Edward returns. It's about time.


	8. Arrival

Thank you to everyone at Project Team Beta. You have helped me so much. Again, I strongly suggest everyone to use their services. The link is still in my profile. My work is my own but without the betas to help, it would be worthless. They are looking for more betas if you are interested.

My permanent betas are awesome. Thanks so much, Strider and jfka06.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

* * *

8. The Arrival

Though I had expected time to feel like it was standing still, the next handful of days seemed to rush by. It had apparently become Alice's one-woman mission to occupy – distract – me during the afternoons. The others, obviously excluding Rosalie and Edward, came to visit as well. But it was Alice's near constant presence that kept the loneliness at bay. Though it never fully left, I still felt like I was standing at the edge of a cavern, a divide too deep and wide for me to cross.

Jasper accompanied Alice on a few of her visits, and with both of them there, I felt guilty for putting a snag in their relationship. Alice's constant absences had to take a toll on them as a couple, and I was sure that was why he tagged along – just to spend some time with her. My feelings of culpability increased with each passing day, and my emotions must have been fairly obvious because he often told me not to feel guilty, that he understood the circumstances.

One time, Alice was sitting next to me chattering away in her perky little way and I was moping, noticing the distance Jasper kept. He sat as far across the room from me as possible. This particular point didn't bother me; he always kept away and since it was for my safety, I was grateful. I often thought that it would be odd if he ever came within ten feet of me. However, The space he kept from Alice when in my presence was eating away at my insides.

He narrowed his eyes looking at me as though he could read straight into my soul, his gaze piercing.

"Bella?" he questioned. "Why do you feel so guilty?"

"I...uh, I don't know, Jasper," I stuttered, annoyed with myself that he had been able to tell my feelings. His insightful nature always caught me off guard; he was so quiet that I was often surprised at how perceptive he was. I looked between him and Alice, thinking about their distance again. "No reason, really," I lied.

"I know you don't feel you worth our attention, but you are," he quietly said. "You're a part of this...family. And, we take care of our own."

_Even when they're ripping your marriage apart?_

I looked away, unable to stand his penetrating stare.

"No, really. We think of you as a sister," he continued. Alice nodded vehemently. "Yes, the circumstances are not necessarily what might considered...normal. But you're not causing us unnecessary stress."

"Thanks, Jasper," I replied, not believing him in the slightest but still feeling oddly lighter, happier.

Normally his reaction would increase my feelings of accountability; he was so kind when I had done nothing but keep his wife from him in my selfishness. However, I never seemed to be able to hold onto a negative emotion in his presence. He was almost like a ray of sunshine peeking through the clouds on a bleak day, just enough to keep the depression away. Luckily, Alice seemed to bring him on the days when I was feeling most down. Even with his understated and subdued nature, I always felt so much happier by the time they left. Unfortunately, unease typically settled in again shortly after their departure, almost like their influence had a limited range.

As I observed the two of them more, I noticed how attuned Jasper was to Alice and in turn, she to him. It was like they knew exactly what the other was feeling, like they could read each others' minds. It was sweet, but it created a strange emptiness in me, a longing. Not that I wanted someone to read my mind. I just wanted someone to care enough about me to learn my expressions and moods. I knew I would never get that sort of link with someone in my current state. How could anyone get to know me when didn't even know myself?

Of course, Alice could not be with me during the school hours. So, during those times, I futilely tried to occupy myself with reading or listening to music. I had all but given up trying to find out more information on myself or attempting to jog my memory. Every time I tried – and I had tried every day since my arrival at the cottage – I met a dead end.

That was until my third day at the cottage, the day I finally gave up.

I found a site that allowed me to search birth records in Washington, The Washington State Digital Archives. Since that's where I'd been found, it seemed the ideal place to continue my search. Luckily, I could choose any number of search tactics, including name. I entered "Isabella" in the proper location since I didn't know my full name and clicked search. The list loaded quickly and I clicked on the First Name column to sort it, then sifted through the results.

There, on the page before me, was an Isabella Marie with the same birth day as me, only in a different year. When I did the math, she would be exactly thirteen years my junior, placing her at seventeen, the age I appeared to be. Marie seemed like a name that just fit with my first. It felt right, natural even. My heart leapt into my throat. This was too much of a coincidence so I looked closer at her record.

There was very little information available, but I thought it had to be enough to lead me in some direction rather than my prior aimless searches. I was extremely excited and could almost feel my pulse thudding through my veins as her information displayed before me.

Once her record loaded, I dove into the information. Even more coincidental than her name and birth date, was the fact that the town of her birth was Forks. I wondered how it could be possible that she just so happened to be from the town where I was found wandering.

Fortunately, Carlisle worked at the local hospital. He could probably access her records for me.

Also listed in the birth record were her parents, Charles F Swan and his wife Renee A. I was almost weak looking at these names; the black letters caused my heart to stutter. I ran my fingers over the words displayed on the screen before me, half expecting to be able to feel some tangible evidence that these names were real, these people existed. I didn't think that I could be _this_ girl, but I was drawn like a moth to a flame.

I quickly printed the result and stood staring at the names on the paper in my hand. After I had committed everything about this miniscule ray of hope to memory, I folded it and put it on one of the shelves in one of my favorite books, where I would know to find it. I couldn't keep my excitement contained, so I searched on the internet for all the permutations of Isabella Marie Swan and Washington that I could find – there was nothing of use. It was like that tiny reference – the birth record – was the only bit of information available for this girl. Still I intensely scoured what results I found, lost in the screen of the laptop before me.

"…all right?" Alice's high-pitched soprano broke through my preoccupation.

I glanced up to her quickly, flinching at the shock of her materializing in my living room.

"Sorry, Alice," I answered. "Didn't see you there. How long have you been here?"

"Not long," she said, her voice wavering slightly and her brows furrowing. "So, there's been a development, huh?"

"I think so," I said, turning the laptop around to face her. I had added the girl's record to my favorites and accessed it quickly to show her. "It looks like we might have something to go on."

"Hmmm," she said, looking slightly forlorn. "That is something, isn't it?"

"I guess," I replied. I couldn't mask the excitement in my voice. "Do you think it's possible that she and I could be…"

Just then, the screen on my computer went black and I heard the whir of my laptop stop.

"Guess I forgot to charge it," I said to Alice as I stood up and walked to the power cord. "What do you think, Alice? Do you think we're connected?"

I plugged the laptop in and put it down on the wooden table.

"Maybe," she said. "We should wait to talk to Carlisle. He's on his way over. I've already called him at work, and he's coming when his shift is over. He was in early, so he should be here momentarily."

"Okay."

Even though Alice had warned me, the knock on the door a few seconds later surprised me, and I jumped.

_I'll never get used to how uncannily accurate her "sight" is._

"I guess he was quicker than expected," she said, laughing at my reaction.

"Come in, Carlisle," I called.

The door opened quickly and in walked both Carlisle and Esme.

"Hey, guys," I called standing and running up to them. "How was your day?"

"Good." Esme smiled at me and pulled me into an embrace.

"Yes, very," Carlisle agreed. "You seem to be in a wonderful mood."

We hugged in the doorway, and they followed me at my pace back over to the seating area.

"Uh-huh. What did Alice tell you?"

"Not much," they said in unison, and then laughed.

"Great! Let me _show_ you."

I raced to the table holding the laptop and back to them, stretching the cord over the distance. I pushed the button on the laptop to resume and show them what Alice and I had been looking at. For some reason, the operating system had crashed and a type of boot up error displayed. I restarted the computer, and it said there had been a problem and that Windows needed to restore from a previously set moment. Alice took over the computer after that message and began playing around with settings and such.

After that process was finished, she gave me back my computer, and I opened the browser. I clicked on my Favorites button, but the site was no longer listed. It must have been lost in whatever had taken place.

_No problem. I got it once._

It should have been easy enough to find again… it wasn't. The Digital Archives no longer had any reference to the previously easily located record. I ran the search a few more times, trying different parameters but nothing helped, the record had disappeared. The hollowness that had temporarily abated began gnawing its hole in my chest.

_All right. I'll get the print out._

I rushed to the shelf where I had put the information. The papers were there but they were . . . blank. I had been there all day and had no idea how that could have happened. No one else had been near them. I turned to face everyone.

"They're gone," I gasped. My knees gave out as I collapsed. "All gone."

Alice was next to me in a flash, preventing me from actually slamming into the floor. She eased me into a seated position.

"What's gone, Bella?" Alice asked. "What happened?"

"The record I showed you on the computer, the papers I printed, everything…everything."

My eyes were blurring from the steady stream of tears and I pulled my hands from Alice's loosened grip to wipe the trails away.

"What do you mean?" she asked me, prodding harder.

"Look at the list," I said pointing to the computer. "It's gone. Gone. How can that be? Even the print out I had of the record is blank. Look." I thrust the papers at her, cramming them into her hands. "I memorized these before. I _know_ they had writing on them and _everything_ was here. What's going on?"

She looked at the papers and then the computer. I watched as the same shock I had been hit with engulfed her.

"I don't know, Bella," she squeaked. "I don't know how this happened. I saw it all, too. But it's gone now? I remember what I saw, of course. But you remember everything, too, right?"

I nodded my head.

"Well, let's tell Carlisle and Esme what you remember." She held out her hands to me again, lifting me from the floor and pulling me toward my couch. Carlisle and Esme followed – they had been standing dumbstruck by my emotional outbreak - and decided to sit on either side of me. Alice took the chair across and spoke. "Then I'll fill in the gaps. Go ahead, Bella. Maybe they'll be able to help."

When I didn't start, she continued. "So, Bella was researching birth records for Washington today and . . . " She waived her hand in a circular motion, urging me to tell the story.

I sighed and picked up the story.

"I found a record from Forks hospital that was very interesting," I started. "Well, it was for a girl named Isabella born on the same day as me but in 1987." Esme gasped, her eyes opening wide. "Her full name was Isabella Marie Swan."

Carlisle and Esme shared glances that were obviously meaningful and then turned to me silently pleading for more information.

"Her parents were a Charles and Renee Swan."

Carlisle stood. "We know of Charlie Swan. He's the chief of police in Forks." He looked away, his eyes unfocused as if he was lost in a world of his own. "I don't believe he has ever had any children, though. Have you heard anything, Esme?"

"No. I've heard gossip from the women at the garden parties about him," Esme replied. "It appears that he married young, and his wife – I believe her name _was_ Renee – left him not long after to go some place warm. They've mentioned something about her feeling trapped."

The wound in my chest constricted and I let out the breath I had been holding. She leaned into me and pulled me into a gawky hug, my arms were wrapped around myself so tightly. I shuddered softly in her grasp, as my sniffling intensified.

"Anyway," Esme began again, her voice sounding much softer. "I've never heard that they had a child." She squeezed me tighter as my body shook more with my increasing tears.

"I'll do some research at the hospital tomorrow," Carlisle said, trying to comfort me. "If there's anything to find, I _will_ find it."

"Thank you so much," I sobbed. "You are so wonderful for everything you've done for me."

I was torn by the whole prospect of finding out more information. If this girl had something to do with me, I was glad for another puzzle piece. On the other hand, I wondered if more information would lead to the loss of this family, the one I had come to love. I wanted to know my past but I wanted to keep them, too.

They spent the rest of the evening trying to take my mind off the events of the day, but nothing helped. I was too confused by the information I had found and even more baffled by the subsequent loss of it to pay them much attention.

The next morning, I was futilely attempting to find the record again, when the shrill ring of my cell phone pierced the silence of the cottage, echoing ominously. I ran across the room and grabbed the phone from its table just before the last ring.

After clearing my throat, I spoke. "H-hello?"

"Bella, it's Carlisle," he answered, his voice grave. I could tell from his muted tone that this was not going to be good news.

"Hi, Carlisle. What's up? Did you find anything?"

"Bella, unfortunately I have bad news," Carlisle said,. "I've scoured all the records here and there are _none_ about a girl born to Charlie Swan or a girl born on the date you saw. I've also spoken with some of the nurses here that have been around for a while and they've confirmed that Charlie has never had a child."

It felt like the floor had been ripped from beneath my feet, and I crumpled into the chair beside the table.

"Oh, okay," I rasped out. "I understand." The room became unfocused as I felt a crying jag coming on.

"There's more," Carlisle said. "Esme was able to sneak into the local records office and there was nothing there, either. Whoever this child is, there's no record of her in Forks."

A few tense moments passed as I held the phone to my ear. Carlisle may have been speaking, I wasn't sure. I couldn't concentrate on anything but the emptiness threatening to pull me under. I sat there frozen until his loud call of my name brought me to reality.

"Oh, sorry, Carlisle. Were you saying something?" I hope he could understand me through my numb lips. They refused to move properly, deadened and heavy like the rest of my body.

"Yes," he answered in a calm manner-- trying to pacify me, I assumed. "Unfortunately, nothing can be confirmed from the information I have access to."

_Nothing there. Nothing anywhere._

"Okay. Um . . . Thanks, I guess."

I heard his heavy sigh on the opposite end of the phone.

"Bella, I think you need company. Alice and Jasper have left school early. They and Esme are going to be there soon."

"Sure."

"I'll be over after my shift, as well."

"Okay."

"We'll figure this out, Bella," he said, his resolute voice broke on my name.

The hollowness now filled my entire body. I was beyond numb, there was nothing left to even feel numb.

I was still as clueless about my past as I had been at my awakening in the forest. Maybe I would never find a clue.

The three arrived soon after – though it probably could have been hours and I would not have necessarily noticed. They chattered around me, but I couldn't join in; I was devoid of anything, empty.

Later in the afternoon, Carlisle came over as well. He tried to placate me like the others had, but I didn't want any of it. My terse "I'm okay's" and "I'll be fine's" convinced them of the exact opposite; I would _not_ be okay, and I was _not_ fine.

The next day I woke feeling dejected and unhappy. I turned my thoughts away from the losses of the previous day. I almost felt like I had lost a family member by having the full information on this girl torn away when it was just inches, mere centimeters from my grasp.

In order to alleviate some of the pain along the ragged edges of the hollow feeling, I turned my attention to the present. I needed some sort of distraction and Christmas was approaching rapidly. I had already gotten gifts for most of the family, which left me with nothing to do but sit and think – an unfortunate situation. I had only gotten very small trinkets, Christmas ornaments, but I tried to make them meaningful.

It was awkward to use the credit card when purchasing the gifts, and since the family would wind up paying for them, I had decided to spend as little as possible. I mentioned this to Alice a few times. Every time she told me, "Don't be ridiculous, Bella," or "Get over it," in her most condescending voice. So I gave up and tried not to let it bother me.

I still hadn't shopped for Alice. I didn't know what to get one of my most important friends, especially when she had _everything_. And since I didn't know Edward at all, I hadn't gotten a gift for him, either. I planned on asking Alice for advice on preferences for him when she visited this afternoon after school. I knew absolutely nothing about him, other than the facts that he must enjoy music and he must like black and gold. I thought about copping out and not getting him anything but that would be rude. I couldn't leave one person out like that, even if I didn't know him. I also thought about just getting him a gift card. That way he could use it almost wherever he wanted. It was cowardly, this I knew, but it was the best idea I could come up with and I definitely was not in the mood to search for anything at that moment, anyway.

After I ate breakfast, I looked outside my kitchen window and realized that it was a rare sunny day. I half expected Alice to come bounding through the front door at any minute; I knew she would not have gone to school. There had been one other sunny day since my arrival, and on that day, Alice had told me that they did not go to school when the sun was out. That meant that I got to spend more time than usual with her, so I had been pleased. She never explained why, alluding to it being a "vampire" thing and she was extremely careful not to let me see her in the sunlight. Since I was selfish enough to want her company, I did not push for an answer.

The front door of my cottage was enshrouded by a large overhang, casting the entrance in deep shadow. That, coupled with the dense surrounding forest, did not allow me to even try to sneak a peek. Also, I was sure that Alice's talent would warn her if I tried.

I was beginning to get nervous as it was almost noon and I hadn't heard a peep from my closest friend. She had been fairly consistent contacting me since the family had given me the cell phone/MP3 player, but I yet to receive a call or a text. I sighed at how dependent upon her company I had become.

_I need to find a way to get out. Sitting and sulking is _not_ helping._

I decided that I had moped around long enough and it was time to get myself cleaned up and dressed. As I walked through the door into my bedroom, I noticed clothes, the outfit that Alice had purchased for me on our shopping trip the week previous, draped across the chair in the corner of my room. Alice must have left them out the prior night.

_Wonder why she thought I had to get all dressed up. I mean, staying at home doing nothing is done just as well, and more comfortably, in jeans and a t-shirt. _

Alice never did anything without a reason, so I decided to comply and wear the garments. I took a long shower and let my hair dry naturally. I had noticed that the new cut enhanced my natural waves perfectly, so I usually didn't have to use the blow dryer, which pleased me immensely.

I dressed in the white suit and blue blouse, once again admiring Alice's choice. In the natural light that filtered through the gauzy curtains, the blue of the blouse looked particularly attractive against my pale skin.

I was not going to wear the heels that Alice had left for me, but I brought them with me into the living room, just in case she _decided_ to make an appearance. I made my way and connected my phone to the music system that Esme had chosen. Jennifer Saunders remake of "Holding Out for a Hero" had just begun to play as I made my way to the couch to read a book.

Suddenly, I felt something akin to a chill, except I wasn't cold. It traveled from my head to my toes and I had the strangest sensation that I was not alone. I shrugged, willing myself to believe that it was only my overactive imagination running wild.

Flopping down on the couch, I picked up my book, a large novel about a boy wizard and began reading it. It was the newest in a series. I usually enjoyed classics, but Alice had introduced me to the others by this author, and I had been sucked in. I found the plot a little farfetched. However, after living with real-life vampires, how implausible was magic? Anyway, it served as an escape from my present circumstances. Supposedly there were two more after this and I had often found myself wondering how I would tide myself over until those came out.

This afternoon, the book did not serve as the distraction I sorely needed. After reading the same sentence multiple times and comprehending nothing, I realized that, although I had enjoyed the other books thoroughly, immersion was not going to work as a diversion at that moment. I put the book back on the table and laid down on the couch staring at the ceiling. I tried to lose myself in the song, singing along to the words, and couldn't help but imagine a man similar to the one described in the lyrics. I thought that I really needed a man like that; a man to protect me, a man who was strong, fast and confident. With all my inadequacies, he would need to be "larger than life" as the song proclaimed. Obviously from my current status, I knew that I would probably need constant saving.

I hated feeling so weak, so pathetic. Did I really need someone to be my knight in shining armor? No, I could be strong on my own. I refused to believe that I was normally this way. I liked to think that under different circumstances, I could be an independent woman, someone who could hold her own. However, in the world I had been thrust into, the world where I was surrounded by myth, legend and creatures who were a thousand times stronger than me regardless of their size, this was not true. No mere mortal such as myself would be able to hold her own.

I became so engrossed in my own thoughts that I did not even notice when the song changed. Out of nowhere, I heard a quiet, but solid rap on the door. I knew it wasn't Alice; she never knocked. She usually just barreled through the door, like she owned the place-- which she did. She was mindful of my privacy; she just knew that she wouldn't find me doing anything too embarrassing due to her helpful little ability.

Carlisle or Esme would have called first and Emmett, like Alice, would probably just walk through the door without any warning – they must have had a key or something.

I hastily slipped my feet into the death-traps I had placed on the floor beside me – I didn't want to set off Alice, if it was her – and walked over to the door feeling slightly edgy and unsure; it was like I had that odd pins and needles sensation all over my body. I felt oddly wobbly, though that could have been because I was now four inches taller than normal. Finally, I arrived at the door unscathed. I only stumbled a few times due to the jellyfish-like consistency of my joints. I tried to look through the peephole, but I was unable to make out anything; it appeared that no one was standing behind the door. Only one person would do that.

"Emmett!" I squealed, infusing my voice with false excitement, masking my face with the same emotion and wrenching the door open. I nearly knocked myself over because of the uncomfortable things my feet were in. I glared down at the offensive objects, internally cursing them to the pits of Hades. I heard a light chuckle and instantly froze. This was not a voice I was familiar with – so it could only be one person. I slowly looked up, the weird pins and needles feeling increasing, filling the emptiness that had been lodged in my chest.

_Maybe, I should see Carlisle about that. It's so weird._

To my embarrassment, I was right about who was standing before me. When I looked up to greet my visitor, I saw that it was not Emmett waiting outside the door, but the most beautiful, exquisite person I had ever seen. My first, hasty impression the night I arrived had not done him justice. If perfection could be expressed in a male figure, he would outshine it one thousand-- no, one million--times over.

_Hello there._

As I stood beside him I realized that he was still a bit taller than me even in my ridiculously high shoes, making me feel truly insignificant. I gasped and my eyes widened as I realized the predicament. I wondered why on earth he was standing outside my front door. A tiny portion of my mind worried that this could be my end. But no, my more rational side argued, it couldn't be that he wanted to harm me; I would already be gone if that was the case. I wouldn't even have had the time to register my own death at his hands.

_I couldn't imagine a better way to go, though._

I decided to try to act bravely, and forced myself to speak.

"E-Edward, right?" I asked, standing stiffly in the open doorway and clutching the door for sorely needed support. He smiled and nodded, looking at me warily.

_Nice show of _bravery_, Bella. Not even the cowardly lion would be fooled._

"H-How can I help y-you?" I stuttered out.

_Great. You can barely stand or talk. That shows intelligence._

"I came to introduce myself properly and to apologize for my egregious behavior over the past few weeks," he answered. A slight smile played on his full lips. Each syllable he uttered held me mesmerized and I could not pull my eyes from his mouth as he spoke.

Thinking and looking at his lips caused my heart to react almost audibly. The increased pounding also meant that I could feel every pulse as my blood rushed through my veins. My body wanted to move closer to his, like there was some sort of tractor beam pulling me in. I had to look away so as not to react to that impulse and my heartbeat impossibly quickened.

_Not smart. Entice the gorgeous vampire, why don't you? Control yourself_.

Before I could be considered rude, I looked back up and into his eyes. They were that same strange shade the rest of the family had, but even lighter. The flashes of flat black I had caught the night we met were gone, replaced by the warm golden hue that held me captive. I felt drawn to his eyes in a way I had never felt with the others.

"It's very nice to finally meet you," I breathed, nodding in his direction and attempting to return his smile but I was sure it was just a goofy grin.

"I'm sorry we began on such poor footing when we first met. I hope you can forgive me for my _almost_ lapse of control." He smiled again, and I nodded unable to speak. His golden eyes were so intense I felt myself getting more lost in them, his words drifting away as a piece of melodic background music. " . . . Bella?"

_Oh, no. He'd said something else. Was I supposed to respond?_

He was looking at me as if I had lost my mind and in this moment; I didn't necessarily disagree.

I shook my head and blinked my eyes furiously, trying to speed up the gears of my mind. "I'm sorry. I've . . . uh . . . got a tendency to lose myself in my thoughts. What were you saying?"

"Everyone speaks highly of you, and I wanted to meet the person who has infatuated my entire family."

_Yeah, right. I would be immensely surprised if Rosalie has mentioned me even once_.

From his next words, my thoughts must have been obvious.

"Rosalie doesn't think about anything other than herself. She can be vain and she only sees how every situation affects _her_. She doesn't have any personal issue with you, though; she just worries about the. . . danger of the situation and the risks to the family. She's fiercely loyal and quite tenacious, when she wants to be." He smiled again and shook his head indulgently. I wondered how I had not become a puddle of goo on the floor. "So, anyway. Since I know very little about you, I decided to stop by and say hello." He chuckled.

Again, I found myself lost in the smooth tones of his voice.

Grasping the handle of the door was all I could do to keep from falling over. He had the most angelic voice I had ever heard. I wondered if I had ever thought that about the others before. If I had, they didn't compare to him. I think someone could have literally knocked me over with a feather because I was so lost in the sound. I had a hard time attributing meaning to the words, and I began to feel slightly panicked that I was causing him to question my sanity yet another time.

_What the heck is _wrong_ with you? You're an idiot acting like a teenage girl in front of her crush. Now, pay attention before he thinks you're crazy._

I blushed looking towards the ground since I couldn't think of _anything_ to say; nothing witty, nothing profound. I would have settled for trite dribble, but nothing came to mind. I stood there in the door opening, a mindless Bella statue.

"I'm quite comfortable lurking in your doorway," Edward said after a few moments, a slight teasing note in his voice. "But I fear that, if I let _you_ stand there any longer, the door you've been caressing will expect dinner. Or, you'll faint from lack of breathing." He pulled one side of his mouth up into the most alluring grin, but I thought he looked a bit smug as well.

_How pathetic. Have I been that obvious? I'm truly hopeless._

I gathered myself and raised my eyebrows at Edward, trying to feign off-handedness. If he could play it off like this meeting was no big deal, so could I. "And I was just getting to know the door intimately." I turned to the door and whispered, "I guess we'll have time later…when guests aren't around." I tried to glare at Edward. It wasn't easy — it would have been more natural to ogle.

He laughed and the sound was all I could hear, all I could ever want to hear.

"Would you like to come in and sit down?" I squeaked, my voice still betraying me, even though I actually felt slightly more confident. I moved into the foyer and away from the doorway and gestured into the tiny living room.

"Yes, thank you." His voice was so sweet and alluring. He walked into the room, and I turned to my new friend, the door, and closed it.

When I turned around, I noticed how the room was brighter, like his presence held a light I had never encountered before. The new found brilliance made me smile.

"Please, sit wherever you'd like," I said pointing to the seating area. My voice sounded odd, a strange mix of trepidation and excitement. He sat in one of the chairs that Esme had chosen. I followed him, never taking my eyes from the ground, and sat in the chair directly opposite. I immediately tore the shoes off my feet and pulled my legs up under me. I sat and stared at the patterns of the wood grain in the cottage floor, trying to find a topic of conversation.

After a few tense moments, I had garnered enough courage to glance in his direction. I was surprised to see him staring at me with an odd look on his face. He looked curious or frustrated or maybe both, though I couldn't be sure. I opened my mouth to speak and noticed a twinge in my lip.

_How long have I been biting it? _

"So. . . um, why'd you come here again?" I prompted in an attempt to get him to stop looking at me in that weird manner. I knew he'd already answered the question but I hoped for more clarification. Maybe if he spoke, I wouldn't feel so self conscious

"Like I said, I wanted to correct a horrible first impression and I wanted to meet the girl--" My loud snort at his word choice resounded around the room and his eyes tightened. A sign that he definitely thought I was crazy. "That my family is so besotted with. I hear about you all day. You've made quite a lasting impression on them."

I laughed at his joke, sure that I probably wasn't the hot topic of conversation around his house. How could I be? I had been nothing but a burden. But his eyes narrowed and his lips pursed, making it appear that he was being truthful.

"Really?" I said skeptically. "Hmmm… That is _extremely_ kind of them and the feeling is definitely mutual." That sounded way too stiff for everyday speech. I assumed my formality was due to the nerves I felt being around him.

All his prior actions had led me to believe that he would not hurt me, so I was no longer nervous about that particular aspect, but I still felt that odd tingling when he was near. It had to be him that was causing it; I had never felt it before.

Even through my nerves, we spent much of our time in easy discussion, after the awkward introduction. There were a few times he looked pained and I wondered how hard it was for him to sit alone in my house with me, but I never worried that he would hurt me. Sometimes he would clench his fists, making them look whiter than they actually were.

As time passed, I found myself growing comfortable with him, almost as comfortable as I was with Alice or Emmett.

When Elvis Presley's Teddy Bear began playing, Edward started singing along, mixing his perfect voice with Elvis' smooth baritone. It made me wonder what his favorite type of music was. His room may have been filled to the brim with various genres, but he had to prefer some over others. After a few more songs in my oldies mix, Teenager in Love began to play. Edward once again lent his velvet pitch to Dion's markedly less stellar performance.

"So," I began, "from this reaction, I assume you like fifties music." I still was not comfortable enough to drop some of the formalities.

"Yes. Music in the fifties was good. The sixties weren't . . . bad. But the seventies were worthless." He chuckled.

I was slightly stung by the insinuation that the seventies were a useless decade. After all, I had come from that time.

"I think some good things came out of the seventies," I said my voice taking a petulant tone.

"Well, we were only speaking of music," he countered serenely, ignoring my bad-tempered manner. "Not anything else."

"Yes, but I still think some good came from that decade," I continued with my argument. "I even like _some_ of the music. I'll concede that disco was abomination. Why anyone would willingly submit themself to the torture that is disco escapes and frightens me." I laughed. "But, I am more partial to the eighties and nineties."

_At least out of what __I__ had been exposed to._

He stared at me looking almost enraptured and slightly perplexed.

"How old are you, Bella?"

"I think I should probably ask you the same question." I raised my eyebrows at him. "I'm probably better able to guess your age, both real and physical, than you are able to guess mine." I added a grin to let him know that I was now teasing. "I think I'd be more accurate than you'd be. Of course, I'm not sure. I don't know how much you've heard about me...and I don't know that much about you."

"I haven't been told much at all. Everyone is pretty guarded about . . . specifics. But..." he trailed off and quirked one eyebrow. "Do you really believe that you can come closer to guessing my age than I can yours?"

"Definitely. I wouldn't have said so otherwise."

"Go ahead. Give it a try, then," he challenged.

_So, this was now a dare._

I was not one to give up in the face of provocation. "Let the games begin." I smirked at him. "Okay. So I am not going into this completely blind. I have a few facts on which to base my guess. Bear with me as I actually break everything down."

He nodded. I took this as a sign to continue.

"First, I know you were born after Esme, and she was born in 1895. So, you were most likely born in 1896 or later." He nodded again. "Okay… Then I know you came to join Carlisle before she did and she entered the family in 1921. That narrows the possible time you were human to between 1896 and 1920." He started to speak, but I interrupted.

"Hold on, there is more information to narrow down. From what Alice had said, people who . . . are new to your life," I still had a hard time saying vampire, "are, uh … unruly. So, I doubt Carlisle would have been able to handle two so close together. That leads me to assume that it was at least two years between you and Esme, so 1919, at the latest. Though I don't know your exact age when you were changed, I know you were the youngest, excluding Alice since she doesn't know her age." I shook my head at her loss.

She didn't know anything about her human life. She woke up and it was like she had always been a vampire.

"Anyway, Rosalie was the next youngest and she was eighteen. So you were seventeen or younger. From looking at you, I assume you weren't much younger than seventeen. That puts your birth somewhere between 1896 and 1903. Carlisle said you were dying from an epidemic when he found you."

He nodded again, his face an unreadable mask.

"I was… curious and I've had the time, so I did some research."

_Just admit to your obsession, why don't you, Bella._

I felt the blush heat my cheeks, making my feelings even more obvious. Luckily, he had chosen that moment to turn away.

"I found that during the last four months of 1918, there was a plague called Spanish Influenza. So, I'm taking it that you got sick from that. And it fits the time line. Therefore, I guess you were born in either 1901 or 1902. Am I right?"

"Yes." He sounded slightly awed, and I took that as a positive. "You've _been_ perceptive, haven't you? Carlisle was my doctor when I was dying of Spanish Influenza in 1918. I was seventeen."

"Wow! " I exclaimed. "So, that means you're…" I pretended to do the math in my head. In fact, I had already figured out this information a while ago, "a hundred and three years old! That's _ancient_." I laughed. I gave him a false appraising look and tried to sound nonchalant as I stated, "You look good for your age." He chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"You're taking this well," he said, unable to hide more of the amazement that seeped into his voice. "I can't believe you're not going into some sort of shock."

"What? Running? Screaming? Did you forget I know _all_ about your family?"

He shrugged.

"Well, anyway, that's not going to happen," I said. "Okay." I turned to face him, eager to begin another round of this game. "So it's your turn to guess about me."

"I don't know anything about you," he griped, fighting back a smirk.

_Is he being playful?_

"I have no reference from which to draw. How would that allow me to guess?"

"Okay," I began, "so we start with how old you think I am. If you're correct, I'll let you know."

"Five," he teased, a slight smile playing on his lips.

"Be serious."

"If I were to guess . . . I would say you appear to be around seventeen or eighteen."

"Good guess," I congratulated him. "And correct in a way. I look like I did when I was seventeen; so you're right, kind of."

"What do you mean?" he asked, his eyebrows pulled together, his face a mask of disbelief.

"It's kind of weird. But, like you, I'm actually older than I look . . ." His look of doubt became even more apparent. "Um. . . my difference is _much_ smaller than yours, though. I was born in 1974. Something good _did_ come from the seventies."

"That would make you thirty?" He gave me another skeptical look, narrowing his eyes even further at me.

I hated being on the receiving end of that look, especially from him. I wanted _nothing_ more than to have him believe me. It was irrational, this need. What did it matter if he didn't have faith in me? I mean, I wouldn't have believed someone claiming to be in my position. I wouldn't have believed his age if I hadn't known the rest of his family.

"Exactly." I smiled at him, attempting to rid the irrational, gnawing emotion. I wondered if I looked as wounded as I felt.

"How's _that_ possible?" He raised a single eyebrow in challenge.

"Wish I knew," I said. "Everything up until I woke up in the forest the day your family found me is completely lost. All I could . . . well, _can_ remember is my birth date and name. It was pretty horrible at first. I was so scared. I wandered for what seemed like hours, only to wind up in the same place I had started. I figured that I was lost and going to die there. Then, Alice, Carlisle and Esme showed up and saved me. They were like angels."

His face had all but lost the incredulous look and he seemed engrossed in my explanation. My heart unclenched in the hope that he was considering my story as the truth.

"You were lucky that they saw you, then."

"Very lucky," I choked out, then cleared my throat. "I don't know what would've happened without Alice's sight."

I noticed that my throat was dry from all our talking.

"Excuse me," I said as I rose from my seat. "I'm going to go to the kitchen to get some water. I'll be right back."

I was marveling at how comfortable I had become while talking with Edward and walking toward the kitchen, when I started to feel strange, almost woozy. I shook my head and took a few more steps. The light-headedness increased rather than tapering. I had been walking past the last chair and I didn't think I'd make it to the doorway, so I reached out and grabbed the back of it in an attempt to balance myself.

"Whoa! I don't feel so good," I slurred as the room appeared to become dim and I sank to the floor. I closed my eyes. "I'm just going to sit here for a little while," I breathed leaning on the chair for support. I felt oddly tingly all over my entire body again, but this was not pleasant like before.

In an instant, Edward was there; I felt the cool breeze as he approached. I opened my eyes and saw his dark shadow spread across the floor and chair. I lifted my eyes to see his form towering above me.

He leaned down to look me in the eyes. Through the fog that enshrouded my mind, I briefly thought that I should probably be worried about what had just happened. Instead, I chose to focus on his proximity as I closed my eyes.

* * *

End Notes:

Happy New Year! Welcome, 2010.

Thanks for reading and especially thank you for reviewing. I love them all. I think this chapter may have been my longest to date. A few people guessed at the Karen Walker quotes last chapter. Those who guessed about the "Charge yourself a little happy" line were correct. However, no one guessed the other quote. :(

For those of you who guessed, I did send a little extra (Esme POV). If you guessed but didn't get the extra, please let me know, and I will resend it.

I hope I did their first "real" meeting justice. I think this chapter may have been my longest to date. I don't intend them all to be this long. I guess I just got carried away.

I added the Elvis' song in here because I thought it was kind of ironic to an extent. If anyone knows whyI think so, or if anyone just wants to try to guess in a review, I _may_ send a little extra their way. If you know the song, it probably isn't that hard to guess.

Visit me on the thread. It's lonely there. Or follow me on Twitter (bonnysammy. Real original!). I post teasers on both. And I usually post different teasers on each so if you follow one, you will get different info than if you follow another.

On a side note, my laptop is shot, It's only 9 months old and the screen and power port have decided not to work. As a result, I will be unable to start writing another chapter for at least 3 weeks. I do have an EPOV extra to post, so that should probably be on its way next week. And, I have a Tanya POV extra which I will post here once this chapter get validated. *Fingers crossed*

All I can say is thank heaven the laptop is under warranty. I doubt I'll buy this brand again.

I'll try to get the next chapter started in pen and paper but I'm not sure how feasible that is to expect.

Also, I have started a collab piece with SaraiR88. It is a Post BD story called Best of Both Worlds.


	9. Unexpected

A|N

My permanent betas are awesome. Thanks so much, Strider and jfka06.

And since I have nothing witty, heeeeeere's the disclaimer:

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

* * *

9 - Unexpected

I opened my eyes again, and he was still unnervingly close, though my unease had nothing to do with the danger his nearness presented. He looked distressed, almost torn with his lips pulled down in a frown. He crouched and tilted his head a few inches away from mine. This was the closest he'd come to me all day, and the fluttering in my stomach, the tingling in my body belied the fact that I wanted—no needed—him closer. I repressed the unsettling reaction, willing myself to calm down both physically and mentally.

He inspected me in a manner reminiscent of Carlisle. I wondered if over time those sorts of things rubbed off. He grabbed my wrist, and I shifted my weight from the uncomfortable position into which I had crumpled. The other pins and needles feeling – the pleasant one – came back, increasing with my movement. He let go of my arm, gently placing it on my lap, then moved his hand to my forehead. I still felt uncomfortable, jittery. Eventually he pulled back, and I found myself more settled against the chair. Both electric feelings eased.

I assumed he had been measuring my pulse when he grabbed my arm. I wondered why he would need to do that. From the others, I had learned that they were able to hear my heart beating even when they weren't in the same room with me. Whatever he had found had settled him. His furrowed brow smoothed, and his voice sounded calm and collected when he finally spoke.

"How do you feel?" he asked, a note of concern still edging his words. "Tell me exactly what's wrong. What happened? Do you feel dizzy?"

Even in my muddled state, his prodding was beginning to frustrate me. He'd been there; he'd seen it. He appeared to be a smart individual; I knew his mental capacities far surpassed mine. Couldn't he judge for himself? I didn't let my annoyance show in my response; I knew it was just my edgy emotions and that my vexation really wasn't his fault.

"I feel kind of light-headed and all . . . shaky." I held out my hands and watched them tremble. My face felt cold, so I gathered that the blood still hadn't returned. I must have been paler than usual. My vision was almost... darkened, dimmer than usual. "And I feel really weak. I can't see well, either." I leaned further into the chair and closed my eyes. The darkness seemed to help alleviate some of the symptoms.

_Maybe a nap would be good right now._

"Bella, open your eyes," he commanded, and I obeyed. I would do anything he asked just to hear him speak again or to see his face.

He turned away, and I saw his chest rise, filling with air. At that moment, it was apparent that he'd held his breath since he'd first approached me after I'd collapsed. Five minutes had to have passed from that moment, maybe even more. I wondered how difficult it was for him to hold his breath that long. Then I thought about how he had been speaking without drawing more air. It was a confusing prospect.

"It sounds like you've let your blood sugar get too low," he said in an offhand manner. "When did you eat last?" He sounded nonchalant, but there was an unfamiliar edge to his voice. He sounded almost worried. Protective, even.

"I don't know," I answered, trying to sift through the haze to find the last time I had eaten something, but it was like trying to catch a butterfly with my bare hands. As I neared, the memory would flit away and I was left holding nothing but air. "I'm pretty sure I ate breakfast, but it wasn't much... a few bites of dry toast, I think?" I shrugged and shook my head. "I don't remember eating yesterday, and I'm also not sure if I ate the day before that. Everything's been so crazy. And everyone was visiting. And they don't eat. I must be forgetting something, or I'd be _ravenous_ by now."

He put his arms under my knees and against my upper back. Standing up gracefully, he lifted my dead weight up into the air. I was amazed at how easily he picked me up without even the slightest falter. He deftly carried me into the dining area and gently sat me on one of the wooden chairs. Again, his chest wasn't moving so I was sure he was holding his breath.

_Nice. He can't even come near you. What a way to win friends._

He disappeared and was back within a few seconds, a glass of orange juice in his hands. When he handed it to me, the look he gave implored me to drink. Those eyes were so persuading that I grasped the glass and drank half of the contents in one gulp.

As I finished the liquid in the glass, he disappeared yet again. This time I was certain where he had gone, into the kitchen. He was gone a few seconds, but it was long enough for the orange juice to start helping. I was feeling more lucid, less foggy, and my vision had become clearer.

Upon his return, I noticed that he had one of the apples from the refrigerator. He held it out to me and I plucked it from his hands.

"I'm really not hungry," I attempted to protest, spinning the apple in my hands. He shot me a disbelieving look that left little room for argument. Then his pleading eyes began burning with an intensity I would have never thought possible. There wasn't a choice; I would be eating. "Fine. I'll eat it," I mumbled. "But it's just to make you feel better." I pouted begrudgingly. I wasn't hungry, but I would appease him and take a bite.

I bit off a chunk of the fruit and chewed it. As soon as the food hit my lips, he darted a few yards away, and rested his arm against on one of my bookshelves, leaning on it. His quick movement should have been disconcerting—I had felt that way with the others—but it was strangely natural for him. He chuckled and shook his head.

"You appear to need constant supervision." This fact must have really amused him, because he continued to laugh. As before, I realized that the sound was beautiful; it seemed to bubble, as pleasing as a baby or small child's belly laugh. I couldn't help but smile, though I should have been offended by the comment.

"I'm not a child," I said, rolling my eyes to make my point.

_Yes, the eye roll really helps show maturity, Bella._

His terse mood returned quickly, and he brusquely asked, "Then why haven't you been eating properly?"

I couldn't think of a valid excuse, so I answered truthfully. "Like I said before, I haven't really been that hungry. I guess I... forgot." I shrugged, returning to surveying the apple rather than eating it. I turned it over and over, passing it from hand to hand. It really was very fascinating, red. and bulbous, with a small chunk of white peeking through the spot where I'd bitten.

"You _forgot_ to eat?" he asked, his eyes narrowing in disbelief and his frown becoming more prominent. He ferociously raked his hand through his hair and shook his head. "How is that even possible?"

The fact that my poor diet was bothering him far too much flashed through my mind. I wondered why he even cared. It wasn't like my presence had made life easier for him. In fact, I'd made it inordinately difficult.

"I haven't been paying much attention to food," I began,"...or much of anything else, for that matter." I murmured the last part under my breath. "I guess I have been too busy trying to piece everything together, trying to remember, you know? It seems like the more intense my search is, the more elusive my result becomes."

_Maybe you should just give up completely, for now, Bella. Besides, do you _reallywant_ to find out what's happened? It's not like you remember anything, anyway._

I bit into the apple again and a flash of something flew past my eyes. It was wispy and smoky, but I knew it for what it was. I gasped and looked up at Edward, my eyes wide with shock and anticipation.

His eyes opened large, mimicking mine, but his were filled with alarm. I held up a hand and raised my index finger, smiling to silently ask him to hold his tongue for a moment.

Elated at the new development, I closed my eyes and allowed the scene to play out fully before opening them again; this time the cloudy vision was more solid than before. It was a true memory, something from before. After it was finished running through my mind, I opened my eyes and turned to Edward, unable to suppress a wide grin . I didn't care to even try, either. I probably looked like a complete idiot, but what did that matter? I had something substantial, something real.

"I just remembered something," I stated, breathless amazement echoing in my words. "This is not the first time I've had a problem like this... It's happened before. When I was younger, I used to do it often. Forget to eat, that is. I remember it happened one time, when I was about eighteen or so. I was at work as a cashier at a super market." A flash of a green vest, and the name WALTER appeared before my eyes. "I was in the middle of scanning an order when all of a sudden, I began feeling horrible. It was similar to just now; I was light-headed and my vision went blurry, but not really blurry because I could see; it was just... off.

"I looked to the girl next to me to tell her I didn't feel well. But before I could say anything, she looked at me and called the front end manager over. The manager came to me and her face fell; she looked horrified." I laughed at the memory. She had looked like she had seen a ghost. I must have been really bad, because my customer, my friend and the manager all had the same panic-stricken looks on their faces. I shook my head at the memory. "The manager shooed me off of the register and took over for the rest of the order and line. She told me off in front of everyone and asked when I had last eaten. My answer was pretty much the same as today's. She reacted like you, and then made me get food and eat it. I have to admit, I did feel better after eating. Although, I fought her about it at the time, saying I wasn't hungry... because truthfully, I wasn't. Well, I guess I _was_, but I didn't _feel_ hungry."

I quickly lifted the apple to my mouth and bit off another large chunk. It tasted delicious this time, just enough crunch and tang to make it enjoyable. I hastily swallowed and bit off another piece. My stomach clenched, only just now informing me that I was, in fact, starving. After practically inhaling most of the apple and reflecting on the fact that I could remember something, no matter how insignificant, I turned to Edward again.

"Guess I really was hungry," I said, amazed at how quickly I'd eaten half of the fruit. He snorted at me and shook his head. "Thanks for forcing me to eat it." I could feel the blush rising to my cheeks. I was an adult; I shouldn't need someone who didn't even eat to remind me about nourishment.

I couldn't remember blushing as much as I seemed to around Edward. That was unless Emmett was making some joke at my expense. Or Alice was smothering me with attention. Sometimes I would feel warmth flood my cheeks if Esme or Carlisle tried to play parent too much.

_Okay. I am practically one humongous walking blush. An accident-prone, walking blush._

"Any time," he answered, looking at some of the books on the shelves. "Though I do hope you decide to eat more often."

"I'll try," I chuckled. "As least I had a knight in shining armor."

He laughed at that statement.

"Like I said, you need one!"

When all that remained of my apple was a core, I realized that I felt hungrier than I had in some time. I went to stand up, but he was by my side instantly, pressing down my shoulder gently, yet firmly holding me in the seat.

"Are you still hungry?" he asked,

I nodded. He quickly raced away and returned with another apple.

"Here you go," he said, handing me a green one this time. "You appeared to like the other one." He shrugged and took his place back at the bookcase.

"Thanks," I mumbled before I took a bite. "I guess I did eat that other one quickly. Sorry, I'm not displaying the best manners. I know you don't eat, but it feels weird with you standing there while I chow down in front of you."

He was staring again and I began babbling in an attempt to distract him. I thought that maybe if I could get him speaking again, he would stop his intense scrutiny of me. It was making me uncomfortable.

"I wish there was something I could offer you."

He arched one brow.

_Isn't that a nice look. Mmmmm. Stop it. Stop it, now. _

"Well, something I am willing to offer," I added wryly, turning my attention from the uncomfortable emotions he sometimes evoked. Again my blush engulfed me.

We sat in silence for another while. The awkwardness from our greeting at the door seemed to have permeated the air again. I attempted and failed to eat this apple quietly. Every bite and subsequent chew resonated throughout my little home – I had never noticed how small it was before. Even with Emmett's overwhelming presence, it had never seemed so miniscule. As I ate, I tried to avoid Edward's gaze, but he seemed to almost cast a spell with his eyes, a spell that compelled me to spill my guts whenever he looked at me.

After my last bite, I steeled myself to look in his eyes.

"Um... I think I'm going to go to bed now," I said weakly. "It's been really nice having you here."

_Here's your coat. Here's your hat. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. That was _cordial_, Bella._

"Not that I'm kicking you out or anything," I backtracked, embarrassed by my lack of hospitality. "I'm sure you wouldn't want to hang around while I sleep. That would be so boring for you."

He smiled and nodded once.

"It was a pleasure meeting you," he stated, genially. "I hope to see you soon."

"Yes, yes," I said, unsure as to why he'd want to come back again. I wondered if he liked taking care of adult humans who are unable to remember the basics to survive. "That would be really... um, nice."

_Eloquent Bella strikes again._

We walked to the door, slowly. I was sure the pace was agonizing for him, but I didn't think I could exert more energy. It was an awkward goodbye. I wasn't sure if I should shake his hand or something, but I knew that a hug was out of the question. I didn't feel like tempting fate. So I opted for an odd gesture that resembled a half wave/half bug-swat type of movement. Luckily I was able to hold in laughing at my own ridiculousness.

"Thanks for visiting," I called as he walked away. "It was nice to finally meet you."

*~*~*~*~*~*

The next few days passed quicker than before. Alice visited as she had before, only she never came alone; Edward was always with her. Though he never came as close as he had during my "incident," as I now called it, he worked each day to move closer. The effort he put into our friendship amazed me; I knew I'd never be able to return his monumental undertaking.

Each time he left, I told myself I would act like less like an infatuated teenager the next time I saw him, only to find myself falling harder with each visit. It was unfortunate that both he and Alice could hear the increase in both my heart rate and breathing whenever he was near. I found that embarrassing at times, even though neither of them ever said anything to me.

We had decided on a theory regarding my past. We were spending the afternoon together as usual when the subject was broached.

"So, Bella, Edward said that you remembered something. That's wonderful." Alice gracefully sat next to me on the couch.

"Yeah, it was so weird," I said, turning to face her. "It was like a little flash. Out of nowhere, this little memory came."

"I spoke with Carlisle," Edward interjected. "He thinks that maybe with more social interaction, more experiences will help you recover some of your memory."

"That makes sense." Alice clapped her hands together. "That just means we get to go out again

_Wonderful. More "girl time" with Alice. I'll be catatonic within a few days._

Though the prospect of Alice dragging me god knows where was daunting, I couldn't help but agree with their logic.

"Yeah, it does make sense, I guess. So I get to spend more time out of the cottage?" My excitement was hard to mask. The thought of getting out of the confines of my home pleased me.

"Sure." Alice smiled back at me.

After our conversation, I had come up with an option that I thought I wanted to ask the family about after Christmas. I didn't want to spring it on them when there was so much more going on. Besides, I still wasn't sure I wanted to ask them at all. I usually vacillated, never fully choosing either option, instead weighing the pros and cons, and deciding to make a full decision at a later date.

The Saturday before Christmas, Alice and I decided to go shopping again. I still had to buy gifts for her and Edward. She had promised to allow me time to shop alone, though that seemed silly considering her talent—she'd know what I bought as soon as I made the decision to get it, anyway. Since we were able to use the full day to our advantage, we were going to head to Seattle. This delighted Alice; the shopping near Forks was not high-end enough for her. She had only decided to take me to Port Angeles last time because she knew I had needed to get out and it was close.

I woke early on Saturday morning. Alice had wanted to leave at the crack of dawn to get a head start, something about the early vampire and deer—she had laughed at her own joke, but I thought it fell flat. So maybe it wasn't the crack of dawn, but it was still some inhuman hour.

There was a shop she wanted to stop in on the way to Seattle. The owner was going to open it early just so she and he could discuss some fashion line they had been working on—I'd come to find out that Alice helped quite a few designers with their lines.

Since I knew we were leaving early, I had taken a shower and actually dried my hair the night before. All I needed to do was brush my teeth and hair and get dressed. I was running ahead—amazingly—so I opted to add a tiny bit of makeup that Alice had left for me.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, she was standing in my bedroom, arms crossed and foot tapping. I looked at the clock. I was still five minutes early.

"Hey, Alice," I greeted, a note of protest straining under my attempt at pleasantries. "I'm early. Why are you pouting?"

"Oh, I know," she answered, eying my clothing. "I just would have thought that you'd take better care when going out."

"Not this again," I whined and heard a quiet snort from the living room. "Is someone else going with us?"

Alice was already in my closet pulling out something. She popped out and walked back to me.

"Here. Wear this," she said, handing me a sweater. "You'll freeze with just the little blouse you've got on. For a smart woman, I'd think you'd have some common sense. And yes, we have a... shopping companion."

"Oh?" I asked. "Is it Esme? I haven't been out with her in ages."

This time a decidedly male chuckle rang out. I knew that sound, that voice. I'd heard it enough recently.

"No, not Esme," Alice answered, a slight smirk on her lip, due to the increase in the pace of my heartbeat, no doubt.

"Oh." I swallowed audibly.

"Ready?" she questioned, turning her back and striding toward the door.

"I'll be right behind you." I stood up and walked out, falling a few steps after her.

"Hey, Edward," I called, still doing that awkward wave-type thing. He returned my gesture with a slight head nod and a perfect smile, one side pulling up higher than the other. We hadn't gotten over the uncomfortable greeting/leaving phase. Neither of us knew exactly what to do at those times.

"Let's get going," Alice chimed. "So much to do, so little time."

"You really are too chipper, Al." I laughed, grabbed my things and walked out of the door, followed by the two of them.

When we stepped outside, Edward surprised me.

"Alice," he smoothly attempted persuasion. "I think that--"

"Don't even try, Edward," she said, cutting him off mid-sentence. She looked at him meaningfully, narrowing her eyes.

"Have it your way," he sighed and shook his head.

"Okay, Bella," Alice chirped, turning toward me. "You know the drill. Hop on."

I went into full pout mode. "Not again," I whimpered. "Please?"

"We don't have time for arguments." She grabbed my arm, flung me over her back and began running. "Live with it."

As we were running, I tried to understand the conversation she and Edward had outside my front door. It didn't completely make sense. It was almost like I had only been privy to some of the conversation, though they did not appear to say anything else. How odd.

Once again, Alice went in a direction different from the main house. When we met the road, we were near a shiny, silver Volvo I assumed was Edward's car, parked on the soft shoulder. Alice told me I could sit in the back and lounge out on the seat. I had no problem following her command; I thought it would be more comfortable not being trapped up front, feeling it necessary to try to make conversation with Edward while Alice sat in the back enjoying the entire show.

The way Edward automatically sat in the driver's seat without discussion, it appeared that it was a given that Edward would drive

_Control freak much?_

If I had feared driving with Alice, if I had thought her speed irrational, it was _nothing_ compared to Edward. I was amazed when I looked out the window and saw that the car hadn't sprouted wings. The thoughts of the lazy lounging that Alice had promised disappeared from my head completely. I figured I'd be lucky just to stay alive until Seattle. I sat behind Edward and buckled my seat belt tightly around me. Holding on to the seat, I closed my eyes and tried to relax.

After about twenty minutes at that harried pace, we stopped at a nondescript, strip mall type of building. On the end was the business front for the gentleman that Alice was meeting. On the other end, separated by a few stores, was a small music shop. It caught my eye as soon as we pulled up.

"Um, if you guys don't mind, I'm going to go in that store," I said, pointing to the end opposite to Alice's destination. "It looks... interesting."

"Sure," Alice answered. "I knew you wouldn't want to come in with me, anyway." Through her words, I heard a slight tenor of excitement. She smiled at me. "See you in a few." She opened the door and stepped out.

I unbuckled my seat belt, certain that Mr. Toad's Wild Ride was over... for now.

"I'll go with you," Edward stated, turning in his seat to see me. "I'd like that more than the other, and I'd rather not wait in the car."

It made sense. Why would he want to accompany Alice to a clothing designer's office? I wouldn't let myself believe that he could want to spend time with me; that rose too many confusing questions, and I wasn't ready to tackle those.

We exited the vehicle. Alice had already walked off to the right, so Edward went to the left. I followed a few paces behind him.

When I walked into the tiny shop, I realized it wasn't what I had been expecting. This was a store specializing in music sheets. Books and pamphlets lined the walls and shelves; there was paper everywhere I looked.

"I'm going to look over there," Edward explained.

"Sure. I think I'm going to go there," I said, pointing to a spot closer to the register.

I meandered over to the larger compilation books, glancing at some of the other options along the way. When I got to my destination, a thick book with a dark green cover immediately caught my eye. It was a collection of works from Billy Joel. I had several of his albums on my phone, and I knew I liked his music. But there was something important about this particular book. There was something that tugged at the back of my mind, though I couldn't place my finger on precisely what.

I reached out my hand to touch the shiny cover and lightly brushed my fingertips along the writing on the front. I hadn't gone out shopping for myself today, but I wanted this book, almost irrationally so.

"Do you play?" a muted velvet voice asked, breaking me from my obsession.

"I... don't think so," I answered. "It's just caught my interest, but I don't think I'm going to buy it. Kind of a waste, if I don't know how to play, right?"

"I think you should get it." I turned to see his eyes on a level with mine. They were persuasive, far too much so, just like they had been the day of my "incident." I began to feel light-headed and abruptly looked away.

"Why?" I asked him.

"Because I can play," he replied as if the answer was obvious. "So, I'll play for you."

I laughed, "You'd subject yourself to a large amount of seventies music for me?"

He joined in my laughter.

"I guess I would. I'm going to get it, if you don't."

"Fine," I answered. "You get it." I smiled at him, thinking I had won that fight. Why would he buy a book in which he had no interest?

He raised half of his mouth into a small smirk, calling my bluff. "No problem." He grabbed the book from the shelf and turned on his heel to pay at the counter. After walking a few steps, he then turned over his shoulder and called, "I'm going to pay now." Looking at me expectantly, he stood there staring.

I took this as my cue to follow, and I started after him. As I approached his side, I tripped on a nonexistent flaw in the carpet that caught the toe of my shoe. I grabbed onto his arm to steady myself.

Just then, unexpected sounds assaulted me. There were mumbled words, garbled voices humming in my ears. Above the din, I could hear one voice crystal clear. It sounded almost like Edward, the basic tenor was the same, but it was noticeably rougher, coarser. Though it was missing that melodious quality, it was still extremely attractive and alluring, just not as perfected I think I liked it more than Edward's real voice and wondered where it could have come from.

The words in the masculine voice came through clearly:

_Is she okay?_

_She can't be a mere ninety-eight degrees. _

_What did she trip on?_

_She's so warm._

_So soft._

_So… No, don't go there._

It was odd, like the owner of the voice that sounded eerily like Edward's was talking about many things at once. I knew it couldn't have been Edward; his lips weren't even moving.

_Maybe he's a ventriloquist._

I steadied myself, shook my head, and pulled my hands up to rub my eyes. Immediately, the male voice disappeared. I was left with relative silence again. I removed my hands from my eyes and I saw Edward standing there. His brow was furrowed and his eyes narrowed.

"Are you all right?" he asked. His voice sounded strained, more like the man I had just heard speaking.

"I-I think so," I answered. "That was really weird. I guess I must have gotten all discombobulated with my stumble." I tried to laugh, but it sounded false.

"What happened?" he asked, sounding like he was truly interested.

"It was just... I don't know, weird. I don't want to talk about it. Let's just go."

We walked the few steps to the cashier without speaking. Edward paid for the book and a few other items he had picked out, and we silently made our way back to his car, where Alice already stood waiting.

"How was your shopping trip?" Her eyes seemed to shine more than usual.

Edward tilted his head, staring at Alice, while she smiled away, shooting me glances every once in a while. A few times, I thought I saw Edward shake or nod his head, but the movement was so small or so quick I wasn't sure. Their silence perturbed me.

"Are we going or not?" The acid in my voice leaked out, even though I'd tried to keep it under wraps.

Alice laughed, the silvery sounded echoed across the mostly empty lot. "Of course, Bella. Never thought you'd be so excited to go shopping with me."

"Yeah, well..." _I'm confused and I don't want to stand around thinking about the weird thing that just happened. _"It's cold out. And I want to get warmed up."

_Nice excuse. Really believable._

She laughed again and turned toward the car.

"Well, let's get you all warmed up in the car," she stated, a sound of disbelief ringing through her words. "You sit in the front. The vents will reach you better, and you didn't seem to enjoy the back very much."

"Fine," I snapped, racing to the passenger side and jumping into the comfortable seat.

The front was obviously not the place to sit. In the front, I could actually see the trees coming upon us before they whizzed past. I could watch their too fast approach and fret over how quickly I'd die if we were to hit one.

"Holy crow," I shrieked when I had looked that the speedometer. "Do you need to drive so fast?"

"Bella, I'm not going that fast," he rebutted. He sounded almost amused and annoyed with my distress "Besides, I've never gotten a ticket or been in an accident."

"There's a first time for everything," I argued.

"Not everything," he muttered.

"And, I mean, I know you guys are invincible, but I'm not. I'd get hurt if something hit us."

"You're right," he said solemnly, easing slightly off the gas. He turned his head to look at me and raised one eyebrow.

"Watch the road," I yelled. "What is with you? Do you have a death wish?"

"Invincible," he stated snidely, but he returned to looking out of the windshield and the car slowed more.

I looked out the window to my right so I wasn't tempted to stare at his profile. I really liked looking at him for some reason, but every time I did, Alice would inevitably catch me and smirk in some all-knowing way. It irked me, so I tried not to stare. I don't know what she thought she knew; there wasn't anything to know.

Yes, he was gorgeous. Of course he was; they all were. For some reason, I found him much more attractive than the others. Much, much more attractive. But that was just a lure, a way of appealing to unwitting prey. I wasn't ignorant. I knew about the draws, even felt them to a certain extent with others. Yet, with him, the pull was stronger, almost impossible to deny.

I would also concede that I often got lost, staring into the never-ending depths of his golden eyes. In the beginning, when I had first arrived, I had felt slightly uncomfortable with the odd shade, of golden eyes they all had associating it with a bird of prey, or some predatory cat. I no longer felt this way. Instead, I found them beautiful, alluring rather than slightly repulsive or alien.

His too quick movements didn't disconcert me as they had with Emmett. It was almost comforting to know that he could be himself around me; it made me happy. His mere presence filled me with elation that unnerved me and I wondered how I had let myself become so weak; I almost felt myself revolving around him, a moon to his planet.

I couldn't be sure why I felt these odd things about him, or how he had altered my perceptions of his family. I had never felt completely at ease with everyone else. Though I had thought of them as my family, there had always been an invisible... barrier that separated me from them, my kind from theirs. With Edward's reappearance and his friendship, that barrier melted away almost instantaneously. I was grateful for that fact, but completely unsure how I could ever tell or thank him regarding this alteration.

On thinking through the subject further, I came to a conclusion, a hypothesis. Maybe when they—vampires, I forced myself to think— were not mated, their lures were more pronounced. They had no significant other, so the only thing they had was hunting? It seemed a stretch of the imagination. But that would explain what Alice had told me about their friends up in Alaska—another family of vegetarians, like them.

The females were known for many escapades with human males. And if they were somehow more attractive when single, this would have allowed them to entice more men. With that fact, I knew that Edward's lack of a female presence had to be the reason for my interest. I had no interest in the others. Sure Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper were absolutely gorgeous; I couldn't deny that fact. But none of them held the same attraction Edward did. I was a moth, he the flame. Had he been a follower of the traditional diet, my ending would certainly have been the same as that moth.

Breathing a sigh, I was glad to finally have an answer. I wasn't attracted to him sexually, as I had feared; I was drawn in by his nature... and mine. The fact that my instincts could betray me in such a way should have frightened me. Instead I was jubilant to have a cause for my irrational desires, both those I would acknowledge and those that couldn't be true, so I wouldn't even allow myself to think about them, thank you very much. This was a concrete explanation that went beyond a schoolgirl crush, and it helped alleviate the stress I had been feeling about my emotions.

I spent much of my time forcing myself to look out the side passenger window, only allowing myself to think about what I was going to buy Alice and Edward. I wanted both gifts to be special, but I didn't want Edward's to be too special. I wouldn't want a physical object to inform the rest of the family about my infatuation. Too many people knew already. I was sure Alice was aware, and probably Edward, too—though he thankfully never acknowledged the fact.

When we pulled up into a parking space, I had been so involved in my thoughts that I was surprised we had arrived so quickly. It shouldn't have shocked me; Edward drove at a blistering pace even after I'd asked him to slow down. We could probably make it to the Mexican border in a little over a day at his speed.

Most of the day passed while I was distracted in my own little bubble of thought. At one point, I went off on my own to buy gifts for the two of them.

Wandering a store full of trinkets and curiosities, I found a few cute things for Alice, but nothing special. What could I buy for someone who had everything she wanted and the means to acquire everything else?

"So you still haven't decided what to get her?" Edward's voice sounded from behind me. "Do you want help?"

I turned around, relieved that he was willing to aid me in finding her something she'd like.

"Yes, please," I begged. "I have no clue what she really wants. And she has all that she needs. What do you think I should I get her?"

He laughed. "Actually, I purchased my gifts for her last week." He shrugged and smirked.

"Rubbing it in, are you?"

His smile broadened. "Not at all. I was going to make you an offer."

_You can offer me anything._

"What's the deal?" I asked, feigning indifference. I even raised my eyebrows for effect.

"Well," he began, "I have quite a few things for her. I was thinking that maybe you and I could pair up."

I was sure my eyebrows were lost in my hairline; my eyes were open as wide as saucers. I had to look away quickly. I knew his words didn't mean what I had assumed. After clearing my throat and feeling the heat leave my cheeks, I finally looked back at him. He looked almost as embarrassed as I felt.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He smiled slightly, almost sheepishly. "I was wondering if you wanted to give her one of those gifts. We could say it was from both of us. A group present."

"I don't know," I hedged. "It feels kind of like a copout just riding on your coattails."

I pulled my lips between my teeth while thinking about his offer. I could continue failing to choose a gift for Alice or I could join with him and go in on one of his presents.

"No, it isn't. You're just getting something we both know she'd like." He grinned at me and tilted his head to the side. The gesture was very convincing.

"Um, Would it upset her?" I asked, not wanting to upset my closest friend.

"Definitely not." His smile broadened. "So, partners?"

I was stunned into agreement.

"Sure," I answered with a smile laugh. I was so relieved in that moment that I had almost forgotten that I hadn't picked out his gift.

"Hey!" Alice's voice plucked my from my Edward-induced haze. "Edward, Bella still needs to get your gift," she said, smiling at him. It was an odd smile, almost condescending.

I wondered about that as I watched her eyes narrow. Edward rolled his eyes and did that almost imperceptible nodding gesture again. It was weird they way the two of them communicated sometimes.

"I'll meet you in half an hour at the water fountain?" he asked.

She started ahead, her eyes growing distant. He seemed to follow her lead, his brow furrowing in concentration, for some odd reason. He sighed, and the tension in his face eased, the corners of his lips lifting minutely.

_What is with him?_

"More like fifteen minutes," she answered, tilting her head in my direction and motioning to me with her eyes.

He laughed.

"See you then," he called, walking away from us.

_What is with the weird exchanges?_

I had never noticed this odd behavior before, when they'd been at my cottage. Now it was like they understood what the other was thinking. Did Alice have this connection with everyone? She and Jasper seemed to have this ability, but it appeared more prominent with Edward. With him, it was more akin to an actual conversation taking place, not just a sharing of ideas or emotions like she and her husband had.

"Bye," I shouted a little too long after he'd left. I watched his retreating form, wondering if he had heard me. To my amazement, he turned and gave me a quick nod and wave—their hearing was more extraordinary than I'd realized.

Alice grabbed my hand, shocking me out of my stupor, and I internally berated myself for my childish behavior. I was going over the top with this infatuation. Neither of us was in a position to be anything more than close friends, maybe similar to siblings but thoughts of anything else were illogical; no matter how often my silly little fantasies may push me to wish for more. It was simply impossible.

_More? What _more_ could I want from him?_

"Let's go," Alice said, tugging lightly on my arm. I think she used more force than she meant because she caused me to stumble forward slightly. A giggle escaped her lips. "Oops. Sorry. Anyway, I know exactly what store we need to go to. And if we don't leave now, we'll never be back in fifteen minutes. He'll totally freak out."

She dragged me to a store called BOSE. I remembered vaguely that they sold speakers and that they were supposedly a good brand.

"Okay, what you want is over there," she informed me and pointed to the middle right of the store. "The noise reduction headphones will be perfect for him."

She was right, they were great for a person who not only loved music, but also had super sensitive hearing. He could keep the volume low and still use the noise reduction to drown out the rest of the world. I was so excited... until I saw the price.

"Alice, I can't get him these," I complained. "Look at the price. I haven't gotten anyone else something this expensive.

"Always about the cost, aren't you?" she snapped. "Listen, we'll go together on them. They'll be from both of us."

"Sounds like a good idea." I grabbed the package and paid for them at the counter. The heavy card felt awkward in my hand, and the cashier gaped when I gave it to him.

By the time we returned to the fountain, I was exhausted. Despite the fact that Alice had planned on spending the whole day in Seattle, but I was more than ready to leave..

From her stance, I knew she was fully aware of my decision and about to enter pout mode. I was not giving up. I gathered myself together to begin a battle of the pouts—I could stick my lower lip out pretty far, and it was easier to pull off, what with looking so young.

"So you want to go home." Edward's sweet voice broke through my determination. I whirled to face him.

"Yes. How'd you--"

"Let's just go," Alice snarled. "If I try to keep her here any longer, she's going to be insufferable anyway."

Edward's following laugh was so alive, so vivacious, that I had to join in, even with his sister's sour mood. Abruptly, her mood shifted and she raised her eyebrows, looking the two of us over. Then, a broad grin spread across her face. In reaction, Edward's jocularity shifted and he turned toward the exit.

"Yes, let's go," he growled, shaking his head roughly from side to side. I couldn't see his face, but from the way he spoke, I could tell he had spoken through gritted teeth.

_What is with these two today?_

We walked to the car, an uncomfortable, oppressive silence hovering as we made our way through the parking lot. I wanted to say something to ease the tension, but there was nothing I could think of to make the situation better. I didn't even know what had happened, so I feared making it worse.

"Um, I'd like to sit in the back. If that's okay?" I asked, when we approached the silver car.

"Sure," Alice chimed, obviously trying to diffuse the tense situation.

"Fine with me," Edward said in a dull monotone.

It was pretty clear I'd done something to set him off, but I wasn't sure what.

Rather than sit in the back seat analyzing the last few moments, I opted to lay down. I wouldn't see the objects outside the car, and I wouldn't worry about his speed. The car drove smoothly so I was barely able to tell how fast we were traveling without the outside references.

*~*~*~*~*

I was sitting on tan leather-like chair on what appeared to be a late night show set. Trying to place my surroundings, I looked around the vast room. There was a full crowd sitting in an area that I assumed was where the audience sat; I could hear their laughter and see their rough shapes, but I couldn't make out any faces. On the matching couch next to me sat Alice, her spiky hair slicked down and sparkling. She was rocking back and forth in her seat, her tiny body shaking with laughter. I turned back to the host's desk and leaned my left elbow on it, looking up to meet the host's stare. My gaze fell upon a beautiful set of golden-colored eyes, filled with mirth. I had evidently missed some joke, so I smiled and shifted my weight uncomfortably, placing a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

The audience calmed and the gorgeous host looked at me, his auburn hair shining under the bright television lights.

"So Bella, young Alice here," Edward began, gesturing to the couch next to me, "claims to be a psychic. She also says that you are able to share in these... visions. Is this true?" Though his voice sounded light, I could hear the underlying tone of derision.

"Um... y-yes. It's all true." My voice wavered as I answered.

The darkened crowd laughed again. I heard a high-pitched giggle behind me. I turned once again to face Alice. She was in her seat, quaking due to the force of her laughter.

_What's so funny?_

I was at a complete loss in this situation and had no idea how to deal with it. It was clear that I was under some sort of spotlight, but without the necessary clues, I had no idea what I was meant to do. I looked at Alice, imploring her with my eyes, but she just sat there, her eyes closed and body twitching with laughter.

Quickly, Edward's fickle mood changed. "Well, Bella," he replied curtly, drawing my gaze back to him. "I thank the both of you for coming on our show. I'd like to invite both you and Alice to remain in your seats and join us for our next segment."

"We'd love to," Alice chirped, her laughter having dissipated. "Wouldn't we, Bella?"

I looked away from Edward again to convince her that I was not comfortable with this situation, but she sat with her bottom lip pouting out, looking forlorn.

"I guess--" I started.

"Great!" Edward cut me off, his voice belying false excitement. "Let's begin."

I faced him again, but he wasn't seated at the desk. In fact, he was now standing in the opening of a curtain just beyond the stage were Alice and I now sat alone.

_How had he gotten there so fast?_

On his head he had a ridiculous maroon turban covered in beads and feathers. I promptly laughed and was met by his cold stare, knocking the breath and the laughter from me. I heard Alice gasp, at my behavior I assumed.

A male voice rebuked me from behind. "You should never chastise Carnac the Magnificent." Once again, I whipped around to see the face behind me. I felt dizzy from all this back and forth movement. Jasper now sat next to Alice, his arm wrapped around her petite frame.

"Carnac's talents are known throughout the world." Jasper introduced, his voice reverberating throughout the large space. "Watch and be amazed. Carnac the Magnificent will be given a set of envelopes that a child of four could plainly see are hermetically sealed. Each of these envelopes has been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnall's porch since noon today."

_What the heck is he _talking_ about? Am I dreaming?_

Jasper continued speaking. "Watch as Carnac answers the questions in the envelopes before he even opens them. Now, here he is, Carnac the Magnificent."

Edward ambled across the stage to his desk. Just before he reached it, he stumbled and fell.

That_ would never happen. Yep, definitely a dream._

He gracelessly sat in his chair and picked up an envelope, then held it to his forehead.

"Wait," he said. "I'm not the psychic. Alice is. _I'm_ the mind reader."

I opened my eyes to the interior of Edward's car. I was laying stretched out on the back seat. I tried to understand the strange dream I had just woken from. Then, everything clicked. What had happened between Edward and I in the music store, and how Edward seemed to have silent conversations with Alice. He _was_ a mind reader.

_Hey, Edward. Can you read minds?_

There was no response. That was weird. Maybe I was wrong.

I sat back and tried to figure out how I could have been wrong. I ran over every time Alice had a vision I shared and the incident between Edward and me in the music shop. For the first vision, I had felt exhausted so I grabbed onto Alice's arm. The second time, I was trying to pull Alice to sit with me. In the music shop, I faltered and grabbed onto Edward to steady myself. There is was, my answer. Every time I was able to join in on their talent, I was touching them.

I grabbed Edward's arm, touching where it was bare. The chill of his skin felt both familiar and different than the others. Edward flinched minutely while Alice sat next to him grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

_Can you read minds?_

_What? _A warm masculine voice so close to Edward's but rougher sounded inside my head. _Again?_

_Whoa! I can hear him. I guess I do need to touch him._

_You. Can. Hear. Me?_ Edward's coarse voice echoed.

I let go of his arm. "Yes, apparently."

I felt so uncomfortable. I wondered what on earth was happening to me. The Alice connection had been very interesting and I had liked it, but now I was beginning to wonder what kind of freak I really was. No normal human being should be able to do things like that.

I pulled my hands to cover my face as the tears began to fall.

"What just happened?" Alice asked. "Are you okay, Bella?"

"I'm fine," I sniffed back, the tears falling quicker.

"It seems Bella is more talented than we had previously thought," Edward answered her, sounding almost smug or surprised or even both. "She's figured out my talent and learned something about her own as well. She can hear my thoughts too, it seems." His voice sounded distant.

"That's amazing, Bella," Alice chimed. "But why are you crying? There's no reason to be sad."

"I think she's a little frightened, Alice. Wouldn't you be?" I could hear the irritation mingled through his calm façade.

"Oh!" Alice commanded. "Let me go back there with her." She pushed her way through the opening between the front seats, and sat next to me. She grasped me in her stone arms and rocked. "There's no need to be afraid. Your gift is unusual, yes. Almost unbelievable. And it seems it isn't just with me. That's not bad. That's great. Carlisle will love to hear this."

_Great?_

I couldn't see how anything about this situation was _great_.

* * *

End Notes:

As always, I thank you for reading this story. I love everyone's reviews. They have been wonderful. I also love hearing your theories. They make my day.

I am still without my laptop. Hopefully I'll have it back soon.

Thank you to everyone at Project Team Beta. You have helped me so much. Again, I strongly suggest everyone to use their services. The link is still in my profile. My work is my own but without the betas to help, it would be worthless. They are looking for more betas if you are interested.

Don't forget to nominate your favorite fics in the Indie TwiFic Awards. There are lots of great stories out there that could use the recognition. I've voted.

http://www(dot)theindietwificawards(dot)com/

If anyone's interested, an OS I wrote called Another Auld Lang Syne is up for the Mystic Awards Dare #1. There are some other great OSs available there, too. Go and read them, if you like.

http://themysticawards(dot)webs(dot)com/vote(dot)htm


	10. Discussion

A|N: My permanent betas are wonderful. Even with their extremely busy lives, they got this chapter back so quickly.. Thanks so much, Strider and jfka06.

As always, thanks for being my Twilighted Validation beta, too, Strider.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

Woohoo! We're in the double digits for chapters. This fic won't make triple digits. So, this is a big milestone.

* * *

The rest of the drive home went without incident—thank heaven for small favors. I lay curled up on the backseat, my head in Alice's lap while the car whizzed down the street. I wasn't in the mood to regulate the speed of Edward's driving, so I was certain he had returned to his normal pace without my constant complaints.

While we drove down the road, my thoughts rushed around, speeding through my consciousness like the trees passing the windows. It was difficult to concentrate on one thought long enough to analyze anything.

One thing was certain, however. I was not normal. The only word that could take root in my spinning mind was freak. That was just what I was, an abnormality, an aberration. I didn't fit in anywhere.

I was separate from the Cullens because of our basic genetic differences. I wasn't like them; I was their intended meal. But that hadn't bothered me because we were meant to be different.

Now it seemed I was also separate from other humans, those I should be like. Of course, my situation prior to my new discovery should have pointed to this fact—how many thirty year old human beings looked like they had when they were seventeen? Even though this was a frightening fact, up until now I had been able to sweep it under the rug and ignore it.

Words like "exposed" and "appalling" flashed in my mind time and time again. I was lost in my own head, trying to decipher the ideas brewing in my brain. As time passed, the swirling collection congealed into a mass of negative, angry, terrified thoughts.

What the heck was wrong with me? What had I done to be in this mess? Had I always been this abnormal?

I liked to tell myself that I wasn't the fragile, peculiar creature I appeared, but all signs pointed to the exact opposite. How could I be anything else?

Alice's movement broke me from my reverie. She had pulled her phone from her purse—Edward must have handed it back at some point—and was now holding it to her ear. I couldn't make out specific words, her lips blurred as her words hummed. The fact that I was unable to understand her speech was comforting. At least there was one _normal_, human limitation that I had.

When she finished her call, I sat up and quirked my eyebrow in an unasked question. She smiled gently, cocking her head to the side, ignoring my question. Normally I would have found this condescending, but tonight I was reassured. She had clearly spoken with a family member, most likely Carlisle, about the circumstances, and she wasn't agitated.

"What did he say, Alice?" I croaked.

A peculiarly out of place annoyance at my own frailty flitted through my mind. I sounded like I'd been crying, even when I hadn't shed a tear in some time.

"He says it's nothing to worry about, Bella," she calmly cooed. "He knows that you're probably worrying, even without me having to tell him, and he wants you to know that everything will be fine. This changes nothing."

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Nothing," I echoed scornfully.

_How could _this_ change nothing?_

My foundation had crumbled in the course of an absurd dream. I had never hated Johnny Carson and the Tonight Show as much as I did in that moment. I wondered how something so apparently benign could ruin everything.

"No, really," she soothed. "It really isn't anything to worry about. You're still the same person as you were before."

_And who's that?_

I shook my head and turned to look out the side window, my tears threatening to spill.

"I'm sure you don't want to hear this," Edward said softly. My eyes flickered to the reflection of his in the rearview mirror. I saw only the kindness his voice had portrayed. "But although this turn of events must be frightening for you, it's exactly as Alice has said. There's no reason to fret over today's… surprise."

As he spoke, his smooth voice calmed my nerves. I could feel myself melting into his sympathetic gaze. I briefly lost my concern as I stared, rather than wondering too long about how he could have such an effect.

_Maybe he's a hypnotist!_

I looked away to gather myself and breathed a laugh at that thought, amazed that I could even muster such a pleasant emotion. When I again glanced at the mirror, I noticed that he was still staring at me. As our eyes met, I could see his cheek lift and the corners of his eyes raise, a smile. Warmth spread throughout my body.

Alice's chuckle pulled my attention from Edward back to her.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

She hadn't stopped giggling, but managed a small answer. "Just you two."

My eyebrows furrowed together. "I don't understand."

"Don't worry about it, sweetie."

I huffed at her increasingly annoying vague responses and turned back to Edward's reflection. He was no longer looking in the mirror, and he was no longer smiling. From what I could see, it appeared that a scowl had come to replace that magnificent smile.

I wondered what Alice's thoughts had betrayed; her words sure hadn't been too out of line. It appeared that our little Edward was temperamental.

_Do I appear that way as well? I have been extraordinarily emotional._

We pulled up the long, winding driveway, the ferns and greenery looming on the edges of the car's path. It seemed this entrance was an endangered species, the foliage threatening to put it into extinction. I assumed that the difficulties most people would have when attempting to find the Cullen home were beneficial to the family and any unwitting human—a positive for both sides.

Not soon enough, we arrived at the large white mansion. We pulled around back and into the cavernous garage. Once the car stopped, I sighed and resigned myself to the inevitable conversation I was about to have.

Alice was already racing towards the house and Edward was at the trunk, pulling out random bags, when I stepped out of the car. I went to back of the car, expecting to help with some of the items, even though Edward had barely let me lift a finger in the small amount of time I'd known him—my fainting at our first encounter must have left a lasting and negative impression.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked, his voice cold.

The tone caused me to pull back; it hurt almost as if he had physically slapped me. My face fell before I could compose a mask to hide behind. I turned away, unable to speak, but he grabbed my upper arm and turned me to face him.

"Please forgive me for being so rude," he said formally, even for him.

I didn't trust my voice, so I just nodded, refusing to meet his eyes.

He put his hand under my chin and lifted my face to his; the knit of his gloves tickled me.

_When did he put those on?_

Glad for the privacy—I'd rather have warning before he probed into my head—I didn't mention his decision to wear them.

"Really, I'm sorry," he sighed. "I wasn't thinking about what you've been through. Sometimes being around Alice sets me on edge. Will you forgive me?"

He didn't even need to ask. I would forgive him anything at anytime.

"Okay," I replied, feeling heat burn in my cheeks. I hid behind my hair. "I'm going in now. I'm sure Carlisle wants to talk to me."

"I'll be right behind you." He closed the trunk. I could see him holding only about one third of the day's purchases through the wall of my hair.

I trudged toward the house, my nerves increasing with each step, my legs weak from the tension. When I lifted my foot to place it on the step, my weight-bearing leg shook and gave out. Edward quickly bolstered and picked me up the few stairs into the entrance, the bags he had been holding forgotten on the ground.

He held me close to his chest for a beat too long. The way my body molded to his felt so right. The momentary thought that this was where I belonged flashed, before I banished it to the back of my mind.

_Get thoughts like that out of you're head. He's a _child_. _

_But only in the same way that _you_ are. He's actually a lot older than you. _

_Shut. Up._

Great. Now I was arguing with myself. I'd officially lost it. I thanked heaven he was holding me around my waist and not touching any skin.

He placed me down quickly but gently, and I pulled away slightly, trying to ease the intensity. He courteously dropped his arms, allowing me to put some much needed distance between us, so that I could clear my head.

"Oops!" I exclaimed stupidly. "Sorry about that."

_Such intellect._

He just laughed

"Thank heaven for my white knight," I said, trying to lighten the moment, and divert my thoughts. I hadn't heard Edward laugh the entire drive home and the sound was music to my ears—I'd become dependent on it, like an addict to her drug of choice.

"I'll just go get the bags," he said, pointing out the door to the scattered shopping. "Why don't you make your way up to Carlisle? He's in his office."

"Okay," I answered. My heart fell. For some strange reason, I had hoped Edward would be going with me. I had come to think of him as my rock.

"Though at your pace, I'll probably meet you before you even make it to the landing," he joked.

Trying to hide my elation that he was going to be a part of this conversation, I turned to him.

"Maybe I should wait," I said solemnly, but the stupid grin I was fighting betrayed me. "Then you could just carry me up there. I wouldn't need to worry about falling head over heels."

_At least that way. _

Shut_ up._

I wanted to slap myself. I was _not_ falling for him. I barely knew him; I barely knew _me._ We were so different, his plane of existence far surpassing mine. Besides, what kind of relationship could we have?

He laughed again, and Esme walked into the kitchen, a pleased grin on her face.

"Edward, it's so pleasant to hear your laughter," she said, and he stopped abruptly. "It's been too long. What's so funny?"

His affable mood passed as quickly as it had arrived.

_Multiple Personality Disorder strikes again._

"Bella just said something funny," he grumbled. "I'm going to bring these up to Alice's room." He rushed outside and returned in the blink of an eye, holding the bags up.

I wondered why everything was so hot and cold with Edward. At times, our friendship was so easy, so effortless. We would talk and laugh without even trying to have a conversation, everything flowed. At other times, his mood would change direction so quickly, I feared whiplash.

I sighed, and turned to speak to Esme.

"Guess I'd better go face the firing squad," I said, my voice glum.

She surprised me by chuckling, and rushing over to me. Wrapping her arm around my shoulder, she whispered, "It won't be that bad, I promise. In fact, I don't think there will be any problem at all."

"Thanks," I said, reaching up to grab the hand the hand that was draped over my shoulder. "We'll see." I squeezed her hand, and she constricted her arm in a half hug.

"I hadn't planned on being a part of this conversation," she stated. "I thought it would be better for you if fewer people were in the room. But if you want me there… "

_Did I want more people there? More people to witness what kind of a freak I was?_

"No, thank you, Esme," I answered. "I think the fewer people the better. This is going to be uncomfortable enough."

"I understand." Her face was sad, though, and I knew I had hurt her feelings.

"Maybe after everything is less… fresh, we can talk." Her expression brightened minutely. "I'm not saying we'll necessarily talk about… this thing, but we'll spend some time together." She smiled faintly and nodded.

"I'm here whenever you need me," she encouraged, lifting her arm from my shoulders. "You'd better get going before Carlisle scolds me for sidetracking you."

"Thanks for understanding, and… well, for everything, Esme."

I slogged through the kitchen, living room and up the stairs. Carlisle's office was on the second floor, and I made my way along, feeling like I was walking the green mile. I half expected to hear someone yell "dead man walking."

Too soon, I reached the wooden door of his office, an ominous feeling spreading throughout my body. I closed my eyes, breathed deeply and reached out to grab the doorknob.

To my surprise, my hand did not hit the smooth ceramic of a doorknob, instead soft fabric brushed against my fingers. From the scent, I knew who was standing in front of me. I opened my eyes to see Edward staring at me, just as I clasped down on his arm

"Oh, sorry," I apologized, quickly letting go of him. "I wasn't paying attention, I guess."

_Yeah, right. You knew he wasn't the doorknob and grabbed onto him just the same. Get your hormones in check, girl._

"Think nothing of it," he said, shaking his head slightly. He held out his hand. "May I?" he asked.

_Sure, he asks. You practically assaulted him in the car. At least someone has decorum._

"Um, okay?" My confirmation sounded more like a question. "I mean, yes," I firmly stated, nodding and holding out my hand.

As soon as his cold hand grazed mine, I heard the droning again. This time I could make out muffled sounds similar to Alice's and Carlisle's voices, along with Edward's. I also noticed that physical buzz I had felt in the cottage before. I ignored it before the thought fully developed, however, not wanting to embarrass myself while he was in my head

_Row, row, row your boat…_

He laughed and raised an eyebrow.

_gently down the stream_…

_Don't worry, Bella_, Edward soothed. _Carlisle knows everything. He's not worried at all. He wants to speak with you because he's sure you're frightened. But everything's fine._

_Fine… everything's fine._ I snorted. "Sure, it is."

He rolled his eyes at me.

"Are you going to let her come in?" Carlisle asked, a hint of buoyancy to his tone. I wondered why he sounded so happy.

_Carlisle loves puzzles_, Edward explained.

_I should be a _dream_ to him then_, I joked.

Edward laughed, and pulled me into the room. Even though I couldn't make out their words, I could hear the excitement in both Alice's and Carlisle's thoughts, the syllables and patterns of their speech flowing and sliding over each other. It was unnerving.

"You can't understand them?" he asked, his eyes narrowed.

I shook my head.

"Interesting," Carlisle mused.

Alice's grin grew wider, threatening to engulf her face.

_Can one fall into their own mouth?_

Edward guffawed loudly.

_Oops! Forgot you were in this mess of a mind. Sorry about that._

"There's no need for apologies," he said. "I like your way of thinking. It's refreshing."

He led me to a leather chair and gestured for me to sit down, releasing his grip on my hand. I sat down and turned to Carlisle, smiling tentatively.

"So, what's the prognosis, doc?" I asked. "I assume Alice and Edward told you everything that happened today?"

"Everything," Alice confirmed

"What's wrong with me?" I asked. I heard Edward harrumph behind me, but I didn't turn to see what was bothering him.

"Bella," Carlisle began, "there is nothing wrong with you…"

_Right, because sharing in supernatural talents is _so_ normal._

I fought to keep my expression neutral, but failed. I knew I looked ungrateful for everything Carlisle had done, but I was unable to hide my disbelief.

Everyone laughed, frustrating me more.

"No, really," Carlisle said. "This may not be typical of human beings, but it is not unheard of."

_Not normal, but not one of a kind. That was comforting._

"In fact, there are some of our kind who… seek out talented individuals, like yourself."

Carlisle's voice was drowned out as Edward growled from behind me, an actual animalistic rumble coming from deep within his chest.

"Carlisle, I--" Edward began.

"No, Edward, she needs to know." It wasn't Carlisle who interrupted Edward's words, it was Alice. "She needs to be aware."

There was a brief moment of tension before I heard Edward release a heavy breath. "Continue, Carlisle."

"As I was saying," Carlisle persisted, "there are some of our kind who look for humans displaying possible talents. Normally the talents aren't easily seen, but through careful observation, they become apparent. In some cases, the gift, or part of the gift, is fairly obvious—like we assume it had been with Alice." His eyes were soft, kind. "We think this is the case with you. You are just a talented person; the same way Edward and Alice must have been talented in their human lives."

"So what does that mean for me?" I asked, relieved that I wasn't a complete oddity but confused at the prospect of "others."

"That is not necessarily a cause for concern," Carlisle said, before becoming quiet. "Should they become aware of you—"

"There's no need for them to know about her," Edward barged in, rushing to Carlisle's desk. "She can remain here without others knowing. We'll just take her away should any unsavory… visitors come. We would've needed to do that, anyway."

I didn't like him talking about me like I wasn't there, like I was a child that would not understand the conversation.

"Hello, I'm still here," I called. "Don't I get a say?"

"Of course you do, Bella," Alice cooed. "But doesn't Edward's plan make sense?"

When I thought about it, of course it did. I didn't want to be in a place where dangerous predators would be in close quarters with me—well, predators that would actually kill me. I no longer thought of the Cullens as predatory, though the fact that they were had not diminished.

"I guess so," I hedged, not completely ready to surrender.

"Edward is right, Bella," Carlisle agreed, and then lost himself to his thoughts.

I stared at him for a while, waiting for some further explanation, but none came. Both Alice and Edward sat motionless, while I couldn't help but fidget continuously. Carlisle mashed his lips together, as if he had come to some sort of decision.

"It's best for your safety, as well as ours, should others of our kind come. If we were to be found harboring a human, it might not turn out… well, for all of us."

With that statement, I knew that I would not be able to argue. If it had only been my safety, I would have fought. But since it was their wellbeing as well, I had no option but to protect them in the only way I could.

"Also I believe that much needs to be discussed about your living arrangements," Carlisle said, his voice oddly glum. "I don't think we can agree with you staying alone in the cottage, anymore. We've overlooked the danger, knowing that one of us was near at all times. But these last few weeks have been a lot for you to deal with."

It was apparent from his face that he didn't want to force me into a decision; he looked torn.

"Again, we accepted the fact that you're an adult, and that you would come to us if you needed help. But after today's events, I don't think we can ignore the danger or the strain isolation has put on you. We've let you distance yourself because that was what you wanted but it's not for the best." He looked away to Alice and Edward, then back to me. "And, I think we'd all feel better if you came back to the main house." Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Alice's head bobbing. "Of course, the decision is up to you. We wouldn't force those circumstances on you."

I turned to Alice and Edward to see both looking at me eagerly. How could I argue with Carlisle's reasoning? I'd been lonely and spending time with Esme during the day would be nice. Plus, it wouldn't be such a burden to see Alice and Edward if I lived in the same house. I would be able to talk to Emmett more often. And with the question I was steeling myself to ask, living at the house would be easier for most everyone.

The only drawbacks were my scent, especially to and Jasper and Edward, and Rosalie's reaction to my presence.

"I've spoken with everyone." Carlisle disrupted my deliberation. "They _all_ agree that it's best for everyone involved if you come back to live in the house."

_Sure they did._

Although Carlisle had many valid points, I hadn't planned on moving back so soon, or at all. However, it was the best course of action.

"I guess I shouldn't bet against Alice," I said, remembering the numerous times she had told me not to get too comfortable with a place of my own. "I think it would be smartest to come back with you guys."

Everyone beamed. I was surprised by their enthusiasm.

Suddenly, Esme was in the room beside me.

"I'm so glad you decided to come back, sweetheart," she said, pulling me up and into a strong hug. "Even though you've been close, I've missed you so."

I melted into her embrace, barely noticing the temperature difference. I had missed her as well, and it was comforting to know that the sentiment hadn't been one-sided.

"There's more than enough of your things upstairs," Alice trilled, flitting to my side. "We'll grab the rest tomorrow, so you don't have to stay there tonight. What do you want to do--"

"Alice," Carlisle interrupted. "I still have more to speak about with Bella."

Alice calmed and revolved to face Carlisle.

"Okay," I said. "Is this going to be long? Should I sit?"

"It won't be too long, but you may want to sit." Carlisle gestured to the chair. "If the rest of you want, you can stay. But it's not necessary." It sounded almost like Carlisle really didn't want them all there. I fleetingly wondered why.

"I'll stay," Edward replied, sounding almost distant.

"I'll go get everything ready," Alice chirped. "Besides I already know what's going to be said." She sprang up and dashed out of the room.

"I'll go downstairs and make you dinner," Esme said to me. "Is there anything you would like in particular?"

"Not really," I answered. "I'm not that hungry."

Edward exhaled loudly, and Esme said, "Nonsense. I'll make you something tasty," before she darted from the room.

"Bella," Carlisle said in a conciliatory manner.

_Uh-oh._

"As I mentioned there is a group that… collects people with gifts." I nodded. "One of our friends—well, they're more like family, really—used to be a part of that group. He, too, has a talent. He is able to sense what an individual's talent is or will become. We'd like to introduce you to him and the rest of their family, if you're comfortable with that. It may help to ease your worries about your gift."

That sounded reasonable. If there had been a man whose job was just to sense human's _talents_, I couldn't have been too abnormal.

"Are they…" I left it open for them to read between the lines, still uncomfortable saying vampire out loud.

"Vampires?" Carlisle asked. "Yes. But they are vegetarians like us. You will be in no danger from them."

"How many?" I questioned.

"Well, there's Tanya, Irina, Kate, Eleazar and Carmen, so five."

Five? Five vampires? And four of them were females. Four probably drop dead gorgeous, Rosalie-like, intimidating females, and a man.

I gulped.

"I'll go along with whatever you think is best, Carlisle." The defeat in my voice was unmasked.

"I think his presence will answer some questions and help to assuage your fears," Carlisle explained. "I'll call them to invite them down for the day after Christmas."

"Okay." My voice was faint. "But..." I was treading lightly now into unfamiliar territory. These people were close friends, and I didn't want to create an issue. "If this man was a part of the... others, how can you be sure that they won't tell them?" I chanced a glance in Edward's direction. His face was stoic, lost in thought, perhaps.

"Bella," Carlisle said in his quiet, pacifying manner. "They already know how important you are to us. Besides, Eleazar is no longer connected to them."

"If you're sure," I accepted, realizing that they knew more about this situation than I did. I didn't really like the circumstances, but there wasn't much else I could do.

_Still, there's nothing like feeling trapped._

"Like I said, I'll go along with whatever you think is best." I was sure the resignation in my voice did not go unnoticed.

"Tanya and the others are like family." Carlisle's eyes were soft and free of any doubt. "We'd have to do something deplorable in their eyes for them to turn us over to the Volturi."

So _the collectors_ had a name.

I switched my gaze to Edward again. He still looked hard, annoyed at something. I wondered what I had done but came up with nothing. Maybe he felt left out of the conversation. He seemed to like being in control. Since he was more aware of the situation than I was and I valued his opinion, I turned to him.

"What do you think?"

"What do I think?" he repeated more to himself. "I think that Carlisle's reasoning is correct. You won't be in any danger."

"I know that. None of you would have mentioned it if _that_ was possible. Do you think it might help?"

"I'm not sure. I'm not the psychic. Alice is."

Though his voice was curt and frustrated, I laughed at the echo from my dream. He eyed me warily.

"So you think it would be okay?" I asked, glossing over the out of place outburst.

"I don't see there being any danger from them," he qualified, though I didn't understand the hidden sentiment.

"Okay, then it's settled. You should invite them, Carlisle." My stomach grumbled loudly. "I'm just going to get something to eat. Are you staying here?" I looked at Edward, trying to break him from his bad humor.

"Yes." His voice was still cold. It really bothered me to hear him speak like this. "I want to talk to Carlisle. I'll be down in a little while."

I stood and slowly walked to the door, hoping that Edward would at least say something to calm the nerves that were threatening to eat their way through my stomach. He didn't, and I left the room feeling anxious.

*~*~*~*

Much as during my first stay at the mansion, I rarely saw Rosalie or Jasper. But unlike before, I didn't see that much of Alice or Emmett, either. They were too involved with their significant others, which led me to spend most of my afternoons with Edward.

I was pleased with this turn of events. Spending time alone with my perpetual savior was high on the list of things I liked to do. After that evening in Carlisle's office, Edward had not been off with me again, but there had still been a wall between us, a distance that he perpetuated.

On Christmas Eve, Esme made me a large, extravagant dinner. Though it was both a waste and overkill, I couldn't say anything because she had put out so much effort for me. Also, the pure pleasure she derived while doing something for me was catching, and I enjoyed watching her face light up when she completed a step.

I tried to help on multiple occasions—I should at least lend a hand if I was the only one eating—but she wouldn't allow me to lift a finger. I stayed in the kitchen mesmerized by her movements as she prepared my meal.

After I ate, we decorated the tree in burgundy and gold, and the gifts were brought down and arranged under the green canopy. Their paper and bows matched the tree decorations expertly. I stepped back to look at the family. The scene resembled something from Courier and Ives without me marring the picture.

"Come on, Bella," Alice called. "We're going to sing Christmas carols while Edward plays."

That didn't seem normal for the family. I mean, I thought that sort of thing was lost in modern times, only seen in films.

_I guess they could hardly be considered a modern family, under the circumstances_.

Given that fact, it still seemed out of place that they would gather around for a sing-a-long. I was sure this little scene was setup for me.

My desire to hear Edward battled with the embarrassment of actually letting my voice take flight. I'd heard myself sing. It wasn't pretty. That's why I refused to sing along with my phone. The voice in my head sounded so much nicer than my audible one.

"I don't know."

"Please," Edward began to appeal. "I'd love to play. Since we haven't gotten to use the compilation book, yet, this will be perfect."

I was shocked at his sudden warmth. There was no way I could turn down his pleading eyes and no way to say no without snubbing him.

"Fine," I huffed. "But don't expect me to sing loudly. My voice is horrible."

Edward rolled his eyes.

"You'll see."

We sang all the standard carols-- Silent Night, O Holy Night, O Come All Ye Faithful, and Jingle Bells. The only song that sounded remotely like a carol when it left my mouth was Jingle Bells, and that was only during the chorus. When we finished singing, everyone but Edward and me left for their own pursuits.

"See?" I asked. "Torture for everyone, just like I said."

He smiled, the corners of his eyes raising. "You weren't that bad."

"Next time you'll need cotton for your ears," I joked.

"No, it wasn't that bad," he lied unconvincingly. "And cotton wouldn't achieve anything, anyway."

He reached over, grabbed my sleeve-covered arm and pulled me onto the bench next to him, surprising me with his sudden movement. After I was securely seated, he reached to the side of the bench and pulled out the green compilation book from our shopping trip.

"Is there any song you'd like to hear in particular?" he asked, smiling sweetly at me.

I ignored the way my heart reacted when he smile like that and held my hand out for the book, allowing it to open to a random song when he released it. The page was for the song "New York State of Mind." I had heard it on one of the albums, so I pointed to it.

"This. Play this," I ordered.

He laughed at my impertinence.

"Easy," he answered playfully—I'd missed his banter. "But you need to sing along as well."

"I don't really know the words," I hedged.

"They're written in the book, Bella," he added dryly. "And you'll need to turn the pages as well." He turned his eyes in my direction and all thought of arguing disappeared. It really was unfair how he could convince me to do anything just by looking at me.

"Okay," I said. "I'll do it… but don't expect me to like it." I tacked on the last bit as a joke.

He smiled, pulling one side of his mouth higher than the other in an imperfectly perfect smile. My breath left my body in a whoosh.

_Pull yourself together. Stop acting like a love struck child._

I looked away quickly.

"Just start playing."

When I heard the book hit the wood of the piano as he placed it on the holder, I knew it would be safe to look up. I would need to pay attention to the book, giving me an excuse not to look at Edward's face.

The song was slow, a ballad. I listened as he sang most of the words, and I more or less hummed along. With every measure, I felt myself being pulled closer to Edward. I wanted to curl up under his arm and cuddle with him.

However, I kept myself at a safe distance. I didn't want to scare him off with my irrational need. I had to touch him, but I knew that given my present state, touching him and letting him hear my thoughts would not be in the best interest of my self-esteem.

After the song had ended, I all but jumped up from the bench, and stretched my arms, releasing the least convincing yawn I had ever heard.

"Well, I'm getting tired," I said. "I'd better get to bed. I don't want to be up when Santa arrives. I'll get coal in my stocking."

"Good night, Bella." He looked upset, like I'd done something to hurt him, his normally rigid shoulders slightly hunched.

"Good night. See you tomorrow." I felt terrible for causing that look on Edward's face, though I was confused by how I could have been the reason. I wasn't sure what compelled me touch him but I knew he needed comfort. So I stepped closer to his side and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, careful only to touch his clothing, and squeezed tightly.

"Have a good night," I whispered, then turned and cautiously climbed the stairs, not wanting to make a spectacle of myself by falling.

*~*~*~*

The next morning we all gathered in the living room around the impeccably decorated tree and opened gifts.

I sat and watched as everyone opened theirs at a nearly human pace—for my benefit, I assumed. Most were pleased and thanked me when they opened their little knickknacks. I even received a begrudging "thanks" huffed from Rosalie, though she refused to look at me directly when she said it.

_Anything was progress._

I ignored her cold treatment—I was used to it, and I assumed that it wasn't necessarily me, but my presence that annoyed her so much. At least, that's what I kept telling myself.

Alice opened her gift, concert tickets for a group called HIM. I wasn't familiar with them, but Edward had convinced me that Alice would love the concert. Just as we agreed, the tag said it was from both Edward and I.

I was displeased to see that Edward's next to last gift was from Alice. She was supposed to share in the gift that we had gotten for Edward. I calmed myself thinking that maybe she just got him an extra present. He opened it, thanked her and quickly moved onto the last gift… mine.

From my vantage, I caught a glimpse of the tag. It only had my name on it.

_I would _kill_ her… if that was possible._

I was annoyed that Alice made it look like I had gotten Edward a gift that was so much beyond everything I had given to everyone else. The look on Edward's face first became confused, then he smirked and shook his head while looking at Alice. He must have known. Either she was hiding her thoughts and he'd guessed, or she was explaining everything to him. I didn't understand why she had to go through this level of subterfuge, but Edward's knowledge that I hadn't just made a spectacle of myself made me feel better.

He opened the present. When he saw the headphones, his eyes lit up.

"Thank you very much," he said, smiling at me.

"Open yours, Bella," Alice coaxed. "Let's see what you've got."

I had been so enthralled watching the others open their gifts, I hadn't even touched any of mine.

"I'm sure you already know," I grumbled, looking down at my pile of gifts.

A few chuckles echoed around.

I reached down, grabbing a thin gift that was perched on a larger box; the tag read that it was from Emmett and Rosalie. After removing the wrapping, I held up the box. It was a brightly colored child's game called "Memory." I couldn't help the slight smile that curled my lips.

"Thanks, Rosalie. Thanks, Emmett," I said, shaking my head at him—I was sure it was his decision. "Is this supposed to help with my memory or is it supposed to be my memory?"

He laughed. "Whichever you think is funnier."

I couldn't help but let his joke lighten my mood.

I reached out and grabbed the larger box on which the game had been resting. This gift was from Esme and Carlisle. Inside there were expensive-looking, blank books and beautiful photo albums. Some of the albums looked like scrapbook albums just waiting for pictures. Also inside the box was a small digital camera and printer.

"So you can preserve the upcoming memories," Esme explained. Their kindness touched me, and tears began to fall.

"Th-thank you," I sniffed, wiping my eyes. "They're wonderful. You're both so sweet."

Next was the gift from Alice and Jasper, a small envelope. I opened the envelope carefully—a paper cut would completely ruin this cheery occasion. Nestled inside the card was a pair of tickets to the exact concert that I'd gotten tickets for Alice to attend. I couldn't help but laugh.

"So, when'd you get these?"

She laughed along with me.

"Before you knew about mine." She winked.

"Funny coincidence," I said glaring pointedly at Edward. "I'm sure one had _nothing_ to do with the other. But why is there a pair? Who am I going to go with since you already have tickets?"

"I can think of someone," she hinted, a smirk on her lovely face as she looked at Edward.

"I guess we'll see who wants to go," I evaded. I would have loved to go with him, but with his odd mood swings I was never sure if he wanted to spend time with me or not.

She picked up a very large box from under the tree and gracefully brought it over to me, plopping it down before me. I removed the wrapping quickly, though cautiously. Inside the large box were what looked like thirty CDs. I pulled them out one-by-one, reading each title. After about five, I looked to Edward.

"Is this Billy Joel's entire discography?" I asked, surprised that he'd gotten so many CDs for me.

"Not all," he said. "Most. Of course, you're always more than welcome to use anything of mine whenever you wish, but I thought you might want your own CDs."

"How long did it take you to get these?" I asked.

He just smiled enigmatically. "Long enough."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, thank you very much."

I pulled the next CD out of the large box, _12 Gardens Live_. Something tugged at the back of my mind, pulling me toward some unknown outcome. I tried to follow, but it left as quickly as it had come.

_That was weird._

"I'll have to listen to these soon. Think I'll go through them chronologically. Seems like a way to start." I smiled at him and then at the rest of the family. "You've all been so giving today. Thanks so much."

Alice sprinted over, a blur of black and white, and embraced me in an unbreakable hold.

"Merry Christmas, sweetie," she said. "I'm glad I could be part of your first."

"Alice," I rebuked, "I'm sure it's not my first Christmas—"

"Yes, but it's the first you remember," she answered triumphantly.

"I guess you're right." I laughed. "You're always right, aren't you?"

"Like I said, don't bet against me."

After a round of hugs from most of the family—Emmett actually picked me up and swung me in a circle—I ran upstairs to get dressed. I had been comfortable in my flannel pajamas, but Alice insisted that I become more presentable. I took the first CD, Cold Spring Harbor, with me.

Before I went into the shower, I placed the CD in the player and clicked play. I took my time getting ready and in the shower. The alone time was a godsend, and letting the warm water relax and ease my troubles was as near paradise as I thought I'd ever get. As a result, I always lingered longer than necessary.

When I stepped out of the shower, a slow song with heavy piano was playing. The words were poignant, melancholy, a song of regret and unrequited love. The pain ripping through me caused me to stumble in my rush to end it. I reached the player just as the line about being sick of living reverberated on the tile walls. I quickly pressed the button to forward to the next song.

After listening for a few minutes, I realized that there were no words to this particular song. I breathed a sigh of relief and began drying my hair. Once my hair was no longer dripping, I decided that I didn't need to dry it thoroughly, using the towel was enough.

The next song began playing, another emotional tune. This one was filled with the pain of coming to an end and beginning again. This song didn't hit me as hard as the other had but still I couldn't take more than a minute or so. I fished the CD from the player and carried it out to my room where my clothes were laying on the bed.

I flung the CD down on the bed and quickly dressed. My thoughts rambled, not allowing me a moment's peace. The regret laced in those songs cut into me almost like I had been the one to write them. I walked to my chaise and sat. The ache would not subside.

A small rap on the door broke into my attention.

"Yes?"

"Can I come in?" Edward's voice further broke into my reverie pulling me from out of the anguish I had been drowning in. I was glad, because I was becoming confused by emotions I didn't fully understand.

"Of course," I answered, trying to feign the right amount of cheeriness. "It's fine."

He opened the door hesitantly.

"I'm completely dressed," I snorted. "I'm decent."

He opened the door fully, and quickly gave the room a once over. As he walked to me, he stopped by the bed, picking up the CD.

"Mind if I put this on?" he asked.

"Um, just stay away from the last few songs, please," I asked, unable to keep the pleading tone out of my voice.

He furrowed his brows. "That's no problem."

After placing the CD in the player, he hit several buttons. Setting up some kind of playlist, I assumed.

An almost frantic paced piano piece broke into the air. I was awed by the intricate patterns of flowing music. I could imagine the player's hands drifting on the keys, like the gushing of a babbling stream along its bed. For how quick the notes were, I was surprised to find that the song was a ballad.

"I'd like to see you play this," I breathed, still filled with wonder at the elaborate arrangement.

"Easy," he answered, his tone slightly arrogant. He sat next to me on the oversized lounge, his body mere centimeters from mine.

"Really?" I asked incredulously, not allowing myself to think about his proximity. "Have you played it before?"

"No." He shook his head, a cocky grin spreading across his face. "It's not that difficult. I've _written_ more complicated pieces."

His disregard for the complexity of the music amazed me. "Wow! Really? Can I hear one of yours sometime?" The admiration and excitement in my voice were laid bare for him to hear.

"Maybe sometime," he said almost sheepishly. Quickly he changed his tone and the subject. "Esme asked me to come up here and get you because she made a special lunch. You're never going to go hungry with her around, by the way. She's so excited to have someone to take care of that you'll probably start begging her to stop feeding you soon."

I laughed until the implication of his words hit me. "Have you told her about…" I wanted to ask about my near fainting, but I didn't want to mention it if no one else knew.

He shook his head.

"It's nice to have someone willing to take care of me," I said, unable to look him in the eyes.

The song had again changed to yet another ballad. It seemed that this album was mostly ballads. A few bars in, I realized that I recognized this tune.

"Oh, I know this!" I exclaimed, looking back into Edward's eyes. Though he was easily within my reach, he seemed a million miles away. "Hello?" I waved my hand at him. "Come back."

He smiled and breathed a laugh.

"Where'd you go?" I asked, my flicker of remembrance long forgotten.

"Nowhere," he chuckled. "You just seemed so lost in the music. It was amazing." The look on his face confused me. I didn't understand it, but it made me oddly uncomfortable.

"Oh," I said, my cheeks burning.

He winced slightly and I realized that my flush must be uncomfortable for him. Maybe it made the smell of my blood more potent when I blushed? I scolded myself for doing something that made everything more difficult for him. It seemed that everything I did made things harder for him.

"Sorry." I looked away again, trying to calm myself and rid my cheeks of the pooled blood.

"Why are you sorry?" he asked, moving himself into my line of sight.

"Well, um… I know that…"

_Great, Bella. You can't even string words together.._

"It's that… I know I smell tasty to you, and it must be hard to be as close as you are when I make it more enticing like I just did… I'm sorry."

He chuckled shaking his head. "You're apologizing for a natural body function, something you can't control, when it's due to my monstrous nature—"

"No, Edward," I interrupted. "Do _not_ talk about yourself that way. You can't help it either. It's not like you asked for me to smell yummy." I half smiled trying to break him from bashing himself. "So let's be faultless together."

"True," he said. "But I'm not putting my life in danger by spending time with you."

"No, you're not. And neither am I." He set his jaw and flared his nostrils. He was going to try to counter. It was time for evasive action. "Let's go downstairs." I jumped up and turned off the player. "I don't want Esme's food to get cold before I get a chance to taste it."

I swept out of the room.

"Are you coming?" I called when I turned around and didn't see him behind me. I was at the stairs, and I didn't really want him in my room alone. There wasn't anything incriminating for him to find, but I was still nervous that there might be _something_ to betray my growing infatuation.

No. Not infatuation; just a fascination. I was not _infatuated_.

Within a millisecond of my question, he was at my side.

"Guess you are," I said. "So did Santa bring everything you wanted?"

"I don't want many things," he replied.

"Well, that wasn't an answer," I said dryly.

"What about you?" he asked.

_Not remotely._

"I guess."

"That wasn't an answer," he wryly said, turning my words against me.

"I didn't really want anything in particular," I answered, shrugging my shoulders. "So there wasn't anything for him to bring me."

_Besides you, that is._

_Yes, Bella. Completely _un_-infatuated._

My toe caught on the edge of the stair, and I began to tumble toward the first floor. "Oops!"

Before I could hit the stairs, Edward grabbed me, one arm around my waist, the other holding my right arm. Once again I noticed that strange electric feeling.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

I wanted to get lost in his eyes, so I turned away. "Um, yeah, I'm fine." He released my hand. "Do you feel that, too?"

He closed his eyes, sighed, and then nodded his head. The look on his face made him appear to be confessing to some horrible crime. He still hadn't released my waist, holding me very close to him. Again I felt that pull to drown in his eyes. I let myself be drawn in, not wanting to fight, the moth to the undeniable lure of the flame. He didn't reject the ever decreasing distance. In fact, I thought that he might have been closing some of the gap.

When our faces were a few centimeters away, I began to feel lightheaded, and I realized I hadn't been breathing. I drew in a deep uneven breath and just like that, the spell was broken. He set me down, steadied me on my feet and withdrew his arm. I instantly missed the feeling of him wrapped around me. It may have not been the most comfortable position but it somehow felt… safer?

"We'd better get downstairs," he said, holding the bridge of his nose.

"Okay," I sighed, and began the descent.

_So… that was weird._

He stopped me. "Maybe I should go first, just in case."

My irritation flared. "I'm not that _helpless_ you know."

He just whispered in response, "Aren't you?"

I wasn't sure how to answer his question or even if it had been meant for me, so I shook my head and started down the stairs after him.

* * *

End Notes:

As always, thank you so much for reading. All those who review hold a very special place in my heart. I mention that I love you guys after every chapter posting, but it is completely true. Your feedback spurs me on to write more. I try to respond to every review. I'm behind in reviews for last chapter but I hope to respond to all by the end of the weekend. Please know that each review is cherished.

I want to **thank** those who nominated Lost Cause for an Indie TwiFic Award—both of you!! lol I am so grateful that you not only took the time to read my story, but that you also liked it enough to nominate it for an Indie. You really knock me off my feet. **Thank you, thank you, thank you**.

Also, I was blown away that an author I hold high in esteem actually mentioned my story in one of her notes recently. Thank you so much. If you haven't read Through Your Eyes, Horizons or Boxing the Compass by Megsly/AngelicWish, what are you doing reading my fic? They are all amazing! lol

On doing some research for this chapter, I found out that HIM did have a concert in Seattle in 2005. Then on their set list, the first song was titled, Vampire Heart. I found that funny, so they were included.

Thanks for the gift ideas, Strider and jfka06. I was at a loss without your suggestions, and that would have delayed this chapter.


	11. Talented

A|N:

First: I apologize for the delay. RL was demanding. Not an excuse, an explanation.

Thank you for bringing LC to over 100 reviews! If anyone is still reading, you rock.

My permanent betas are wonderful. Thanks so much, Strider and jfka06.

As always, thanks for being my Twilighted Validation beta, too, Strider.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

* * *

Talented

After the strange events on the stairs, I wasn't surprised when Edward wordlessly strode toward his piano, rather than to the kitchen with me. He was obviously aware of, and off put by, my infatuation. How quickly I'd messed that up. Maybe if I backed off a bit we could go back to friendship.

"See you later," I mumbled, watching him walk away.

He uttered a sound of non-commitment, but never turned. I couldn't tear my eyes from him—backing off was _obviously_ working well—as he stepped up to the piano and lithely sat on the bench. The ease of his movements never ceased to amaze me. Quicker than usual, he was immersed in his music. As it was painfully clear that our conversation was done, I turned toward the kitchen door. Behind me, I heard a loud gust of breath.

Fighting the urge to face him, to read his body language, I forced myself to take the few steps into the kitchen. Our tenuous relationship was only confusing me, and I'd had enough for one day. It seemed chaos was all I knew. The melodic, though gloomy, sounds of the piano followed me as I slipped through the doorway. He demonstrated his emotions through music, each note wrenching my heart. As I walked through the door and let it close behind me, the music silenced. I wondered why he'd stopped playing, but I was too emotionally exhausted to look. I needed time away.

"Hey, Esme," I greeted, fighting to sound cheery. "You know, I appreciate everything you do, but you don't have to keep cooking for me." I smiled half-heartedly, but I'm sure she wasn't fooled. "I _can_ do it myself. I'm sure there are so many _other_ things you'd rather be doing instead."

"Nonsense," she admonished. "I love cooking, and it gives me something fun that I can do for you."

Her kind nature broke the dam that I'd been using to keep control. My roller coaster emotions took hold, finally bursting out as tears. "Thank you very much," I sputtered, my voice uneven as I tried not to cry. I was being as irrational as _him_. "You're so good to me."

"Bella, just like Alice and Rose, you're a daughter to me, and I take care of my children in _whatever_ way I can." The fierceness of her voice was in direct contrast to the gentle look in her eyes. She embraced me, her body shaking as she pulled in ragged breaths. It almost seemed she was crying along with me.

I was grateful for Esme's gentle display of affection, her kind and protective gesture warmed me even though her temperature was so cold. In an odd way, the cold and hardness of their skin had come to signify safety and calm…home. Still I also felt embarrassed, uncomfortable that I was falling apart frequently and easily.

Besides that fact, _he_ was in the next room, and I didn't want to collapse where he could hear—_a little too late for that_. I didn't want him to know he had this much control over me.

"I'm so sorry, Esme," I sniffed and pulled away. Fighting for composure, I reached to the counter and grabbed a paper napkin from the holder. After blotting my cheeks, I blew my nose into the already damp napkin—_what a pretty sight_. "I'm just really…mixed up right now. It feels like everything's…out of control, and I don't understand anything."

Bleary eyed, I stumbled to the table with tears flowing freely down my cheeks. Though she didn't touch me, I could feel Esme following closely. When I reached the table, I sat on one of the chairs. Esme was obviously concerned when I turned to face her.

"Just give me a moment," I beseeched, willing my voice to sound calm. Unable to keep my composure while she analyzed my every move, I put my head in my hands. "I just need to settle down. I'll be fine in a few."

Her cold arms wrapped around my shoulders. Once again, I looked up to meet her worried gaze.

"I can't understand everything," she said, her eyes soft and caring. "But I can empathize. If I was in your position, I'd be bewildered as well. And, I've been in…similar circumstances. I also woke up to a life that was completely unfamiliar. I'd expected to die, but opened my eyes to something far different: an eternity on the very earth I had tried to escape. I was just as lost as you are."

"What helped you to… find your way?" I asked, curiosity apparent in each word. I was hopeful that Esme's situation might lead to some answer for my own. Plus I knew so little of her past; it afforded me the opportunity to learn about her, to understand her.

She looked away, unwilling to answer my question.

"Please tell me," I coaxed.

"Well, I had Carlisle… and Edward," she replied. "But it was Carlisle who helped the most. At first, all I could focus on was the… alterations, but after a while I was able to see his true nature. Becoming aware of his love was mostly what did it. I hadn't known that type of love in my human life. It was new and in some ways, strange, but it was genuine."

"Oh," I said, finally conquering the tears. The confusion was still there, but I was thankful to have someone to empathize, even if she didn't fully understand the situation. How could she? I hadn't admitted my baffling feelings about Edward to anyone. I'd barely admitted them to myself. She only knew that I was lost, not the extremity.

Disappointment filled me as I realized that her way of coping was going to be different than mine; I had nobody in the respect that she had.

_Then again, do I need someone else to give me strength?_

_No. I'm a strong woman. _I_ need to be my _own_ source of strength._

"You were lucky to have had Carlisle," I stated. "But I've got everyone here. You _all_ help me."

"Yes, sweetheart." She squeezed my shoulders. "We'll _always_ be there for you. I can see you don't want to go into specifics right now, but if there's _anything_ you'd like to talk to me about at _any_ time, please tell me."

"I will," I promised. "I'm just not sure where to begin. Everything in my head is so mixed up. Maybe when I can sort some things out?"

"I'm here whenever you need me," she vowed. "Now let's get you something to eat. You must've lost ten pounds while you were out on your own. Look how skinny you are."

She was right. I had lost weight while I was away. My depression had eaten away at me. Everything else, including food, had taken a back seat to the desire to escape into oblivion.

I wasn't necessarily heavy to begin—I was thin, though soft somehow—and even that small amount of weight loss was dramatic. All of my clothes were loose on me, and I found myself constantly pulling up my pants.

"I _am_ hungry, Esme," I allowed, then inhaled deeply, catching the scent of whatever was on the stove. "And that smells delicious. What is it? Some kind of beef…soup?"

"Actually, it's stew," she answered. "I'm glad it smells good. I hope it tastes as good as it smells."

"I'm sure it will." I watched as she flitted to the cabinet and grabbed a bowl. "Do you want anything else with this?" She motioned to the pot on the stove. "Maybe crackers or something?"

"Sure, that'd be great." I smiled at her as she placed the bowl and crackers before me. "Thanks."

"Enjoy, sweetheart," she said sweetly, returning my grin. "I'm going to get back to some work I have. Do you mind if I leave you to eat alone?"

She must have sensed that I wanted to sort things out on my own—she was an expert at that type of thing—so she was giving me space.

"That's fine." I reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it. "Thank you. You really are a great mother, even if you look like my younger sister."

She laughed. "You forget. I look older than you do."

"I guess that's true," I said, with a slight, almost hysterical laugh—why couldn't I control myself? "I don't know if it's as weird for you as it is for me. I mean, you've been like this for so long. How do you get past the outside image? I know you guys are much older, but I still think of you as the age you look."

She sat down across from me.

"Well, you're right on both accounts," she began. "We're older than we appear—obviously we are. But we are also… frozen like we were when we were changed. Everything about us stops changing at that time, including our likes, dislikes, personalities. So although I've been on the planet for almost a hundred and ten years, I'm still twenty-six in many ways. And I always will be. We're _all_ still the same age we were when we were changed."

"I understand you don't change physically," I said, surprised. "But you also don't mature mentally? _Nothing_ changes after?"

"It's difficult to explain," she replied. "We learn, of course we do. And we don't forget anything. So there are slight changes. But we're essentially the same as we were before. We don't _usually_ change significantly," she replied, a slight smirk on her face. "It's possible, but very rare. If a change takes place, there's no going back. It becomes a permanent part of us."

"So we're different in many ways," I mused. "I mean, humans change all of the time. Look at me." I motioned to myself. "I've changed a lot just in the last few weeks. You've all been the same for at least seventy years. That's a _lot_ to wrap my head around."

"Well, you've brought change into our lives," she sighed softly. "_Some_ of us have changed more than others, but you've affected us all… for the better."

I smiled, not acknowledging her statement. I didn't see how my presence had been for the better.

"When one of us undergoes a shift in personality," she continued, raising her hand to my cheek, "at least when matters of the heart are concerned, even though they may fight it at first, that change is usually for the better." Her eyes were soft as she looked into mine. Her voice filled with conviction as she resumed speaking. "And the person is always grateful for the alteration in some way, particularly when we find our match. Look at Rosalie. Emmett's changed her so much. Carlisle always mentions how both Edward and especially I did the same for him. All we have to do is stop fighting to see the beauty."

Though she aimed her passionate words at me, I had an idea she wasn't speaking only to me. At least I hoped she wasn't; her rambling wasn't making much sense. It was almost a lecture in a way. I didn't understand, but it made me feel better about my situation.

She looked to the door and back to me. I instantly regretted dragging her into another conversation. I shouldn't monopolize her time like I had been.

"I've kept you long enough," I said. "Go do what you wanted to. I didn't mean to take you away from your work."

"Like I said before," she stated, "I am _always _here for you."

"I know."

She quickly stood up and walked from the room. I loved how they usually kept up the human charade for my benefit. They did everything possible to make me feel comfortable.

The stew was heavenly. I was amazed by how Esme could make such scrumptious food when she had no idea how it should taste. I enjoyed every bite and even went back to the stove to grab a second bowl, which I scoffed as quickly as the first. The entire time I did not let myself think about anything but the food I was eating.

Just as I was washing the bowl in the sink, Edward walked into the room. I looked toward him, but he never glanced at me; he just stood there uncomfortably. Turning back to the sink, I shrugged. His confusing moods were really getting on my nerves. After a few moments, he spoke.

"Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett and I are going hunting," he said, sounding almost unsure. "We won't be back until late tomorrow."

I wanted to ask him how late, but I realized that would sound proprietary. He wasn't mine; I held no claim, though I realized that was where my thoughts were slowly progressing.

"Oh, okay. See you tomorrow, then." I didn't want him to go, but distance would help me back off.

"No, you won't," he said flatly. I looked at him in an attempt to understand his odd behavior. "Like I said, we won't be back until late. You'll probably be asleep before then." He shrugged. I could read nothing in his body language, and for some reason, that made me uncomfortable.

"Oh, okay," I croaked. The fact that my own voice could easily turn Judas bothered me, hurting me more than his apparent apathy. Although it cut into me, I refused to show weakness. I placed my bowl in the drying rack, turned toward the door and walked away, adding a spring to my step—probably too much to feign nonchalance.

As I neared the door, I called over my shoulder. "Merry Christmas." I worked hard to keep my voice light. "See you later… and have fun."

I hadn't turned my head enough to actually see him, but his voice was off when he responded, almost strained or sad. "Merry Christmas, Bella." My heart sank to my knees, but I didn't turn.

_Distance. You need to keep your distance. _It was becoming my mantra.

I spent the rest of the day with Alice, preparing for the impending visit from the other family from Denali.

Though the house was immaculate, Alice made it her duty to "pretty it up" even more. I didn't know where she got all the flowers, the crystal vases or the glass bowls, but they were absolutely gorgeous. She placed vases scattered throughout the living room, arranging the stems beautifully. Then she commanded me to help, telling me where to put the crystal bowls. After, she put a varying number of floating candles in each.

"I'll put water in these later," she explained. "Then I'll light them all just before everyone arrives."

"This place looked perfect before," I said. "Like it belonged in a design magazine. Now, it looks like Martha Stewart came and finished it off." I motioned broadly. "It's stunning."

She laughed, her voice sounding like wind chimes in a light breeze. "Thank you, Bella."

"Do you do this every time someone visits?" I asked.

"No, not every time." She walked up to me and wrapped her arm around my waist. "But we have a special guest, and I want to make this visit memorable."

I couldn't help but laugh at her choice of words. "Memorable? I thought you guys didn't ever forget anything…"

She let me go and narrowed her eyes playfully. "It's an expression, Bella. Don't take everything so literally." After pulling back, she rolled her eyes. "I think we're pretty much done. Don't the flowers make everything so much brighter?"

I murmured my agreement.

As had been explained earlier, no one was arriving or returning until very late the next night. Carlisle, Alice and I had discussed the options and decided that I should probably be asleep when they came, and then I could meet the others in the morning. I worried about appearing rude, but everyone assured me that they would understand. In addition, the time alone would give my family the opportunity to fully explain my situation, and it would allow both families time for a reunion without an intruder encroaching.

*~*~*~*~*

When I awoke the next morning, Alice was sitting on the rocking chair in the corner—I had asked Esme for one, it seemed right—with a huge grin plastered on her delicate face.

"Good morning, sleepyhead. I thought you were going to stay in bed all day." She was practically glowing.

_Oh, no. What torture does she have planned?_

"I'm still thinking about it," I said, flinging the blankets back over my head rolling to my stomach. Her chipper attitude was undesired, especially so soon after waking.

Alice giggled, and practically ripped the covers from the bed. "You know you have no clout when it comes to me," she said, grabbing my hand and yanking me from the bed. "I _always_ get my way. Why even try?" She dragged me across the room by my right arm and tossed me into the bathroom unceremoniously. "Take a human moment and get yourself ready. I'll grab your clothes while you're in the shower."

The door closed in my face as I was about to ask what she was planning.

_Guess it's going to be a surprise._

"You're so _pushy_," I grumbled.

I readied myself, and emerged from the bathroom expecting Alice to be seething in my bedroom about my dilly-dallying. Against my assumption, she wasn't waiting. She had, however, left an outfit on my bed. Remarkably, it was Bella-approved, a pair of jeans and a blouse. Everything was covered appropriately _and_ it looked comfortable. I noticed there was another not-so appropriate outfit draped across my rocking chair, but I ignored it. Since the first one I saw appeared to be much more appealing, I would be wearing it.

I dressed and looked at myself in the mirror. I didn't look bad. I would thank Alice when I found where she was hiding.

"You're welcome," she chimed from the hallway, just outside my door. "Knock, knock."

"Come in, Alice," I chuckled. I couldn't help but feel jovial at her presence and a wide smile broke across my face.

She entered; her eyes alight with some unknown expectation.

"What's on the agenda for today?" I asked, allowing her excitement to fill me.

"I wanted to go for a drive with you. A little 'girl time'. What do you think?" She winked at me conspiratorially.

My heart soared. I wouldn't spend all day mulling over the events to come; I allowed Alice's enthusiasm to alleviate my stress.

"I'd love to go out, Alice. I hope it's just you and me." Although I loved most everyone else, I wanted to speak frankly with her one-on-one.

"Of course, Bella," she answered. Then whispered, "I know you want to speak to me alone."

I ate and we left shortly thereafter. We drove in the Mercedes. The others had taken Emmett's Jeep, and I didn't want to use the Volvo. She drove east out of Forks. Less than ten minutes later, we crossed a small stream called Beaver Creek. Directly after, she pulled over into a wide shoulder and parked.

Across the street was a service road and the remains of some sort of excavation site, an old rock quarry Alice explained. The rusty metal looked out of place in the lush green perfection of nature.

"This may be difficult for you," Alice warned, pointing toward a down slope. "But since you're so independent, I know you'll want to try it on your own. I'll give you any help you need."

"Y-you want me to go down _that_?" I asked incredulously. "I'll break my neck."

She laughed. "You'll be fine. Just be careful. Of course, I could carry you, if you wish."

"No, I'll do it myself."

As we neared the edge, I heard running water. My curiosity was piqued.

"What's down there, Alice?"

"You'll see." She smiled smugly. "Don't worry. You'll love it."

It was then that I actually noticed the muddy path she wished me to take. It was worse than I'd originally thought. I tried to convince myself that it didn't look that treacherous. It seemed short, and there were roots there that I may have been able to use as a ladder.

Sadly, my first impression had been correct. Though the trail was short, it certainly was perilous. The roots that had seemed a safe ladder were slick, and I slipped many times. Luckily, Alice was there to help me.

When we reached the bottom, I looked around to see a gorgeous waterfall. Actually, it was multiple falls—two thick curtains on the sides and wispier strands in the center. It was breathtaking.

Alice spread a thick blanket on the moist ground—I hadn't even _noticed_ her carrying it—and then nudged me to sit cross-legged amongst the greenery. The plants behind and on the sides of me were tall. Though the leaves were higher than my head in many spots, the beautiful view was undisturbed. The falls were only around twenty feet high, but they were majestic in their own right, dominating the landscape. I closed my eyes, allowing the gentle white noise of the falling water to lull me into a calm peace.

"They're beautiful, Alice," I said, reveling in the tranquility of this perfect area. After a few relaxing breaths, I opened my eyes and turned to her. "Thank you so much for taking me here."

"I knew you'd like it," she said bluntly. "Besides, you really don't get out of the house at all. There are so many picturesque things here. You really should see more…maybe it'll help with the whole memory thing, too."

"Maybe…" I rested my head on my hand and stared at the waterfall. We stayed in our comfortable silence for some time, enjoying each other's company and nature's majesty.

"So, Bella," Alice began. "I know that you have been feeling extremely uncomfortable about Tanya and her family coming to visit us tonight." I nodded reluctantly. These people were close to her, and I didn't want to insult anyone. "Exactly which aspect has frightened you? You're so at ease with all of us." She spoke with such compassion; it put my mind further at ease.

"Well, I guess that 'intimidated' is a more appropriate word, Alice." I grimaced. "I mean, I know that I already stick out in your family, but how will that be when there are even more people who are so much better than me?" I looked down, not wanting her pity at my next words. "I'm extremely ordinary, average to a fault, _especially_ when compared to you guys." She wrapped an arm around me, and leaned her head on my shoulder. "I'll feel even more…second-rate when the others arrive. You're all so beautiful and strong and fast and just… everything I'm not. And on top of that, four of the people visiting are _women_. You, Esme and Rosalie already make me inferior. How will it be with _four_ more? And then, boring old me."

_And my reactions to Edward will be even more obvious and more of a joke. _

I didn't voice my last fear; I worried what _everyone_, especially Alice, would think of me, if they knew about my ever increasing obsession. On top of that, Edward would be able to read it in her mind once I had told her. I had fought divulging that information when he had touched me, so I knew how difficult it was to control your own thoughts for only a short time. How would she be able to keep that up for any length of time? I couldn't bear the humiliation if he actually knew how I felt.

I was aware that I couldn't hide it forever. My fascination grew by the day and I would slip at some point. I was sure the nature of my feelings would terrify him when he knew the overwhelming level of my infatuation.

"Don't worry, Bella," she consoled. "There's no competition… and you _are_ a beautiful person, you just don't see it."

I rolled my eyes. "I see myself exactly as I am. But that's not the point…"

"_Yes_, it is," she explained. "That's the point of _everything_. You, like Edward, only see your negative aspects. You never think you're good enough for _anyone_. But you are. You _both_ need to realize that."

Again I got the feeling that more was being said than the actual words floating through the air.

_Why can't anyone just spit it out? And why is she mentioning Edward and me? Does she see more than I do? Or am I just reading more in her words than she means?_

"Okay, Alice," I said, my voice flat. "_I_ am a beautiful person." Although I tried to hide it, the sarcasm was obvious.

She sighed. "When will you see how important you are?" she asked more to herself. "This is going to be harder than I thought."

Like many other comments, I let that one slide. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what she was trying to manipulate. It was obvious that it had something to do with me, but Alice was unstoppable when she had something stuck in her head.

I was well aware that I let her get away with too much, but it was impossible to fight her until I knew what she was trying. I would wait a little while until I had a clear view on her intentions. If her goal did not become clear soon, I would need to stand up for myself no matter how much that thought terrified me. I didn't want to risk losing my closest friend.

We spent a long time at the falls watching the steady stream flow over the rocks. With distance from the house and especially Edward, I had the ability to think with a clear head. I knew I was falling for him.

_Who am I kidding? I'm gone… hook, line and sinker._

"So, Alice…" I began, fading off at the end.

"Yes, Bella?"

"Um, I was wondering, you know…why is Edward single and you guys aren't?" I blurted. "I mean, you're all gorgeous." _Because having good looks means you'll find a significant other_. _How _shallow_ are you, Bella?_ "You'd think he'd have found _someone_. I'm sure he's had enough interest."

She giggled. "He's had more interest than you can imagine, both human and vampire alike."

That annoyed me more than it should. Of course he'd had women throw themselves at him. How could they not? Even I'd practically mauled him on the stairs the day before.

"Really?" I kept my voice cool and even.

"Yes, even Tanya has made her interest known."

_Tanya_? "The Tanya who's coming tonight?" My stomach churned.

"Yep." She turned to me and quickly spoke, her eyes growing wide. "But he was never interested. He's turned her down on every occasion."

_So there were multiple occasions? _"Oh."

"He doesn't usually get close to anyone," she said. "He likes to keep his distance. You're really the first person who he's gotten close to, other than our family, in a long time."

Well, that was nice. At least he felt comfortable with me.

"I'm not sure that answered your question," she said. "But he's a very complicated and private person. He just needs to open his eyes to the truth before him."

I wished I could be the truth before him, but I wasn't sure if he could ever be attracted to me in the way I wanted.

We were so different.

I knew I shouldn't be fascinated with him for that reason. Like Esme had said, they were all stuck at the age they were changed. Though Edward was in many ways mature for a seventeen year old boy, he was still a kid. So being with him would be like robbing the cradle, even though he was much, much older than me in reality.

On top of that issue, we also weren't even the same species. This should be my greater worry, but the age thing seemed to override it. I knew it shouldn't, we were both in the same situation, but it did.

It was a confusing predicament, and I wasn't sure how to proceed. All I knew was that if I tried for anything other than friendship, I'd certainly lose everything I had gained: my family. I agonized about following my head or following my heart.

Just before we left, I made my final decision. I would not chance losing my family. I would not chance losing Edward. I would keep my emotions to myself and follow the pattern I'd been in. No one would know any difference.

As I was climbing back up the root ladder, I heard Alice sigh the word "no" behind me.

I turned to ask her what she was talking about, but she shot me a glare and then shook her head at me. For the first time since I'd known her, she actually seemed dangerous—she looked like a vampire. I was so surprised by her abrupt change of mood, that I forgot my question.

We walked back to the car in a strained silence—thank heaven it was only a few yards away. I don't think I could have taken hiking a long way with her mood.

The car ride wasn't any better. I kept glancing at her surreptitiously, but her features never rearranged into her normal animated excitement. Instead it seemed as if she was trying to figure out a particularly difficult math problem, lending to a very uncomfortable drive.

When we arrived home, her demeanor _still_ hadn't changed. I thought it was probably best to leave her alone to sort out whatever issue she was having.

"I'm going to go to my room for a little while," I said, inching towards the stairs.

"Sure." She walked into front room and made her way to the room under the stairs. "See you later."

I climbed the stairs and plodded to my room. I spent the remainder of the afternoon reading one of my books with quiet classical music playing in the background.

Shortly before I'd meant to go to sleep, Alice came to my room.

"Bella, I know you don't like a fuss being made over you," she stated, her terse mood hadn't left fully, but it was obvious that she was trying. "But I really want to do this for you tonight. I don't want you to be uncomfortable tomorrow, so I'd like to start your makeover tonight. I don't think it's needed, but I hope you'll like it."

Normally I would have argued, but tonight I didn't have the energy, and I wanted to do anything to get back in her good graces. On top of that, I thought that anything Alice could do to make me look more like I belonged _was_ for the best. I wasn't going to come anywhere near their beauty, but at least I would stand out less. I'd already be a center of attention; there was no need to exacerbate that.

In order to begin the transformation, Alice relegated me to her bathroom. As I sat on the puffy seat at her vanity, she used all sorts of beautifying treatments and salves. She took me to the bath and washed my hair with some sweet smelling shampoo and conditioner. After guiding me back to the stool, she removed the towel from my hair. She placed a dab of some product in her hand and applied it to my hair. Then she grabbed a wide-toothed comb from the counter, and gently pulled it through, starting at the ends and working her way up until she was stroking from root to tip. The feeling of each brush through my hair relaxed me. After, she dried my hair, making sure it was impeccably straight.

"There. That will stay overnight. Most anything else will need to be done tomorrow morning." I stood from the stool and started toward the door. "There're a few more things I want to do, but we'll do them in your room."

After we arrived in my room, she put some cream on my hands and feet and covered both in cotton gloves and socks. Then she put layers of goo on my face and led me to my bed. Since I was unable to grasp anything well with my covered hands, she turned the sheets down for me.

Once I was in bed, she left me with an "I'll see you when you wake up," as she rushed through the door. I wasn't sure if that was a promise or a threat.

It was a difficult night as I tossed and turned, waking up multiple times throughout. Shortly around two in the morning, my door opened and a small sliver of light spread across the room. I couldn't see who was peaking in because of the halo of light surrounding their face. I would have spoken, but the door was only open for a partial second before it closed, and I was immersed in darkness again.

I rolled over and tried to get some more sleep.

At around nine in the morning, I woke and knew that I was up for the rest of the day. As she had promised, Alice was there when I opened my eyes.

"Morning," I greeted after clearing my throat. "How's everything?"

"_Great_," she answered. "Everyone's eager to meet you."

I raised an eyebrow in a silent question. She nodded in response.

"Okay," I said. "Can I take a moment to be human?"

She laughed. "Of course, Bella. I laid these out for you yesterday," she said, picking up the outfit I'd noticed the day prior. "Take these in with you and get dressed. Call me when you're done, and we can finish."

"Finish?"

She raised her eyebrows at me, daring me to challenge her. I wasn't up for it.

"Sure." I grabbed the clothes and walked into the bathroom.

After I took care of the necessary business, I quickly dressed. As usual, the new outfit fit perfectly. And though it was more revealing than I wished, I felt attractive.

"Oka—"

The door whipped open and Alice peeked through.

"Ready?" she asked, placing a bag I on the counter. She pulled out various tubes and pencils and tubs, laying them out in a precise order.

"Sit," she commanded, pulling out the chair that was under the counter. I obeyed and turned to face her. "I'm going to face you this way to put the makeup on," she said, turning me around. "The lighting's better."

"Like that matters," I joked.

After a few seconds, she got to work, poking, prodding, drawing and powdering to her heart's content. I sat back and allowed her to have fun. It took about ten minutes, but at the end, she pulled back and smiled broadly.

"Perfection!" she exclaimed.

"Can I see?" I asked her, motioning toward the mirror with my eyes.

"Of course," she sang. Then she grabbed my shoulders and spun the chair toward the mirror.

My reflection was shocking. I actually looked cute. The makeup wasn't too heavy, but there was enough to accentuate my positive features.

"I really like it, Alice," I cried, jumping up and wrapping my arms around her neck. "Thank you very much."

"Ready to go downstairs?" she whispered in my ear.

I took a deep breath and nodded. "Let's go."

We walked down the stairs slowly. All the while, my pulse raced increasingly faster, and my breathing picked up pace. By the time we reached the second story landing, I was practically hyperventilating.

When we turned the corner, and the living room came into view, I saw them. There were four women, three blonde, one dark, and a man with dark hair. They were all inhumanly beautiful, of course. But the most beautiful was one of the blondes, her angular features perfect. Her hair was almost a pink color and was curly as opposed to the other blondes who had pin straight hair. Next to the striking woman, stood Edward. She had her arm wrapped around his shoulders.

The anger that shot through me at their closeness was palpable. She had no right to touch him intimately. He was mine, not hers. I hadn't considered myself particularly violent but at this moment, I wanted to rip her perfect little arm from him and tear her head from her shoulders. This woman had to go… _now_.

I was taken aback at those thoughts. He wasn't mine.

I didn't realize I'd been obvious in my anger until Alice prodded me in the side, possibly bruising a rib.

"Ow!" I exclaimed. "That hurt. What'd you do that for?"

All eyes in the living room turned to us.

"Oh! I need something from my room, and _you_ need to go with me to get it." She grabbed my arm and towed me back down the hall toward her bedroom.

_No. I need to get down there to get _her_ away from _him_._

I tried to fight her by twisting my arm in her grip, but escape was impossible.

When we got to her room, she pushed me in and closed the door. After, she rushed to a sound system hanging on the wall across the room. She promptly turned it on and motioned for me to come to her.

_What the _heck_ was with the subterfuge?_

I walked over, lifting my shoulders and arms in a question.

She rolled her eyes. "Bella, you've got to get yourself under control," she whispered.

"What are you talking about?" I asked as quietly as possible.

"You almost lost it out there," she said, her voice nearly inaudible. "I didn't know humans could growl, but you were doing a good imitation." Though it was difficult to hear her, the frustration in her voice was loud and clear

"Really?" I asked. "I did that?"

_Had I been _that_ out of control?_

"What happened?" she asked.

"I don't know," I hedged, not wanting to tell her the truth of the why. "Um, I don't know how to explain it. I just started feeling really angry."

"What set you off?" she prodded.

I looked down to the floor. I didn't want her to be able to read the lie in my eyes.

"I'm not sure, exactly," I evaded. "I just got really upset... But I'm okay now. Let's just go meet everyone. They're going to think I'm crazy, anyway… the way you yanked me out of there."

_He'll know I'm crazy._

"No they won't," she said. "We needed to get this." She grabbed a book from her night stand. "Let's go."

Again we walked toward the landing, a little slower than before. I steeled myself for the emotions I knew I would feel when I saw that woman wrapped around Edward. I had no right to feel as livid as I had before. It was irrational. Beyond that, it was completely unwarranted. She'd done nothing to me; I had no reason to feel this malice toward her.

Luckily, when we turned the corner to view the living room, I saw that the curly, strawberry haired woman was at the almost opposite end of the room. She was nowhere near him, and I could breathe easily.

I looked to Edward, and he was staring up the stairs. When our eyes met, everything seemed to fall into place with the appearance of his small grin. It was an odd feeling when I looked at him, like relief to pain that I hadn't even realized had been there. This disconcerted me. We'd been apart less than two days. How could I feel lost without him and found with him?

Before I could think of anything else, my mind conjured an image of my mouth against his. I could almost feel his cold lips pressed into mine, moving with mine. I knew my soft lips would mold against his; I longed for it. I violently shook my head to rid it of the errant thoughts. Nothing good could come from going down that path.

When I neared the bottom of the stairs, Carlisle walked forward and grabbed my hand. "Everyone, I'd like you to meet the newest member of our family," he announced as he led me down the last two steps.

Of course, the embarrassment at being the center of attention colored my cheeks red.

"H-hello," I said and then looked away, finding it nearly impossible to look to the crowd gathered in the room. I knew it was rude to avoid eye contact, but I couldn't drag my eyes from looking at the floor.

Esme walked over and wrapped one of her stone arms around me, pulling me close to her body, offering me her strength.

"Bella, this is Tanya." She pointed to the woman who had infuriated me before. Blondie smiled sweetly, and I nodded curtly, though I tried to stay cordial.

"Nice to meet you," I said coldly. I tried to infuse friendliness in my voice, but I fell miles short of that target.

"You, too." Her voice was kind and welcoming—all the things I couldn't feign. I still felt animosity toward her. "We'll need to spend some time together… to get to know one another." I tried to remember a cordial response but none came to mind; my possessiveness colored all thought.

"Sure." I tried to return her genuine smile with a false one of mine, but that was impossible.

Next, Esme pointed to a woman with long hair the color of corn silk. "This is Kate," she said.

I stepped toward the newly introduced woman and held out my hand. "Nice to meet you, Kate," I greeted.

She grasped my hand and squeezed gently. Then she drew back quickly, shaking her hand as if I'd shocked her. With narrowed eyes, she turned her gaze toward Edward. The look on his face was almost smug.

"Yes, a pleasure," she said when she looked toward me again. She shook her hand and rubbed her thumb along the fingertips, looking almost confused.

"Next is Irina." Another blonde woman stepped forward.

"It's wonderful to finally meet you," she said, grabbing my hand and shaking it slightly.

"Yes, it's really nice to meet you, too."

"And last are Eleazar and Carmen." She pointed to a couple across the room.

"It's a pleasure," the male, Eleazar I assumed, said.

"Yes, we've heard so much," Carmen called out as she made her way to greet me. I held out my hand to shake hers, but she pulled me from Esme's arms and wrapped her own around me. "Welcome to the family, child."

"Thank you," I laughed nervously. "It's wonderful to meet you all."

We sat down on the white couches, gathered into a conversation area. There weren't enough seats, so Rosalie and Edward stood away from the rest of us. As we talked, I noticed that Edward slowly moved closer and closer. I briefly wondered if he felt the same magnetic pull that was coming to rule my life.

"So, Bella," Eleazar said, breaking me from thoughts of Edward. "Carlisle and Edward have explained to me that you've displayed a talent."

"Um… yes, I guess so."

Edward shifted again, moving even closer.

Eleazar looked around Edward and to Carlisle. "Carlisle, I assume she's a shield."

"A shield?" Edward voiced the question in my head.

"Yes, a shield," Eleazar responded. "I can't sense her. She's blocking me. It's odd. Normally I can sense something. But I get nothing from her. It's like she's not even there."

"Hmmm." Carlisle looked to me. "Bella, would you be willing to let Eleazar touch you… Eleazar, she seems to share in other's talents, if she touches them. Do you think that might help?"

I nodded as Eleazar said, "I think it will help immensely."

Eleazar stood and walked over to the couch, holding his hand toward me. Edward hovered behind the sofa. I figured that if I reached behind me, he'd be close enough that I'd actually be able to grab onto his arm. I was acutely aware of his nearness.

Esme, who had been sitting next to me, unexpectedly stood and gestured to the open seat. "Sit here, Eleazar."

I was nervous, not due to the fact that an unknown vampire was coming near, but because I was frightened to hear just how abnormal I was. Eleazar sat next to me, and he grasped onto my exposed right arm with his left hand.

"No, nothing," he said. "I sense nothing…still. How odd."

I sighed. Even though I dreaded finding what an oddity I was, I couldn't help but feel saddened that I was unreadable. I was that broken. I felt the cushion move behind me and looked up to Edward's eyes. He placed his hand on my shoulder, easing my tension with his calming touch even through my clothing.

I resituated myself, and my hand brushed against Eleazar's bare forearm, the cold firm skin both familiar and foreign. Suddenly I noticed that Edward was immersed in a red light. But it wasn't really a light; it was more like a shell, a transparent covering. And it wasn't necessarily red. I could see him perfectly in all the same colors he'd been before. It was something I'd never seen before and impossible to describe adequately. I wondered if this was what aura readers saw.

"Yes, now I see." Eleazar turned to Edward. "Do you see as well?"

"Yes, yes I do," Edward replied. "It's only in her _hands_."

"Like I used to be," one of the women said. I was too entranced by the "color" surrounding Edward to turn to see who had spoken.

"So you don't hear Bella at all now, Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"No," Edward answered. "But that makes sense. I'm not touching her hands."

I looked down to my hand leaning on Eleazar's arm. There was a covering similar to the one I'd seen on Edward. It was more wispy and less defined than his but definitely there, kind of like a cloud. My fingertips had that same "red" coating, an offense I knew instinctively. As the mist surrounding my skin made its way along my hand and to my wrist, the color changed to a more purple shade. Then at my wrist, it changed completely to blue, a defense, a shield as Eleazar has called it.

I looked back to Edward, my eyes wide with shock. When I looked at him, I could see just how different the impressions of the talents were. His was very solid, molded to his body. Mine was nebulous and flimsy, though it was definitely there.

Everyone else was scattered around the rest of the room. First were Carlisle and Esme. They had this translucent, colorless shell—nothing. Next to them were Emmett and Rosalie, who both looked the same as Carlisle and Esme. Beside Rosalie was Kate, she was covered in bright red, another aggressive or offensive talent, a painful one according to the vivid shade. After her, was Irina—nothing—and then, Tanya.

Tanya was obviously talented, though it was almost impossible for me to place how. She was covered in that same translucent shell, but every once I noticed it pulse a light shade of pink. It was offensive in some way… but I couldn't figure it out.

After Tanya was Alice. She was bright yellow, a new color. It fit her sunny personality, and I could help but giggle at how appropriate it was. To her right, I noticed another red hue—Jasper. It seemed he was talented in some way.

I was shocked. "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked him.

"You never asked," he explained, raising and lowering his left shoulder.

"What can you do?" I was sincerely curious. I'd known this man for a while, and I'd never picked up on him having a gift.

"I can feel and manipulate other's emotions." He shrugged and smiled slightly, though it wasn't a happy smile.

I couldn't imagine that kind of talent. It was amazing. But like Edward's, it must also make everything that much harder, having to experience the varying emotion in the atmosphere around him.

"Wow." It didn't say much, but it was the only response I could think up.

I looked back down to my hands again, turning my left one back and forth. "That's incredible… and weird."

Edward laughed and squeezed his hand on my shoulder. "What do you see? I can only _hear_ Eleazar."

"I don't know how to explain… it's like I can see… I don't know a shell, a covering." I looked back up to Edward, and he nodded. "But it isn't really there at all. I can see beyond it. It kind of tells me who has a gift. You're red?" He nodded again. "Mine isn't the same as everyone else's, though. It's less defined, kind of like being surrounded by a cloud that's colored but invisible at the same time. It's so… bizarre. Is that what you see?" I looked to Eleazar, directing the question to him.

"I can't be sure we see the same thing," he answered. "But it sounds similar to what I see. I couldn't see you until you let me under your shield by touching me with your hand. Edward, did she adequately describe what you can see?"

"Yes… and no," Edward responded. "Bella, you only see a vague impression of the person's ability. You can't actually see what exactly it is, can you?"

I shook my head. "No, I can only tell what type it is…I'm not sure how I know, I just do." Then something about Eleazar's words hit me. "Wait a minute. Edward, you can _see_ what Eleazar sees?"

"Yes."

"So you don't just hear other's thoughts?" I asked Edward, looking for clarification on this revelation. "You can see what everyone else sees, too?"

Edward nodded. "Yes. I can see through other's eyes"

"Can you… see through _my_ eyes when we touch?"

He shook his head, "No. I can hear your words, but I can't see what you see. Also your voice is quiet. Some of your words are more… I don't know how to describe it… muted? It's like you can hide some of your thoughts, edit them."

I breathed a sigh. Edward couldn't hear _everything_. That was comforting.

"Why do you think she has such a developed talent?" Carlisle asked, drawing my attention from Edward and back to Eleazar.

"It really isn't well developed," Eleazar said. "It's quite uncontrolled. I assume that she's always been a shield of sorts. From the state of her hands, the sharing ability is relatively new. Talents usually strengthen as time progresses, though under most circumstances, a human lifetime is not long enough for this to become apparent. I can only presume that when she was younger, she would have only been a shield. This modification to her shield appears to be the next step in her development."

"That's awesome," Emmett yelled. "My little sister's a powerful little human."

"Yes, she is a talented individual," Eleazar agreed. "I can only wonder what she'll be like as an immortal."

_Me? Immortal? Like them?_

I pulled my arm away, wondering what he was talking about. I hadn't ever thought about anything like that, and I didn't know how I felt about it. I was obviously confused…and terrified. I'd have to give up a lot for a decision like that. If my life was as it seemed, I wouldn't be giving up much. But in reality, I didn't know enough of myself to know what I'd be giving up. Besides, that was an extreme choice. There was no need to make it.

"What?" Edward hissed. "That is _not_ happening."

My heart fell to the floor. Even if I had considered becoming a vampire, I wouldn't do it now, not when I knew Edward didn't want me around that long.

"You won't change her?" Eleazar asked Edward doubtfully.

"No, I won't allow her to be condemned to our fate." His voice was full of calculated calm.

"Isn't she your mate?" the incredulous look on Eleazar's face would have been comical if not for the heavy subject matter.

I heard a gasp from across the room, but I didn't look to see who it was.

_He thinks we're a _couple_? And I thought Edward's repulsion was _obvious_._

I wasn't sure whether I wanted to laugh or cry.

Edward pulled his hand from my shoulder and edged away minutely; the comfort I'd received from his touch became shame as I realized the meaning behind his actions. He was disgusted, repelled by the very thought of us as a pair. I looked to the couch, imagining a non-existent pattern into the smooth, white fabric.

"No, Eleazar, we are not mated," Edward said, his voice sounding forced. "Tanya's probably spun quite the tale but I assure you, she's incorrect in her assessment."

From the corner of my eye, I saw Eleazar turn to face the other side of the room. "Tanya has said no such thing, Edward. This was my assumption alone… the way you hover, your protective nature, her need for your validation… it all pointed to a binding." He shook his head. "Normally that's hard to read incorrectly. I apologize for my mistake."

I felt sorry for Eleazar. He'd obviously picked up on my obsession with Edward. I reached out and grabbed his clothed upper arm, looking into his golden eyes.

"There's no need to apologize," I consoled. "Mistakes happen all of the time."

Tanya laughed and pulled my attention to her. I was glad to have the reprieve, so I took the chance and turned to Edward's hard face. He was eying me, sizing me up. I felt uncomfortable under the weight of his penetrating stare, but I couldn't pull away.

"Alice and I are going to go out," Tanya said out of nowhere. "Is there anyone else who'd like to accompany us?"

Alice had bolted up and was making her way to the kitchen. Everyone answered in the negative, whether by shaking their head or uttering a simple "no," and after a few minutes, they both left, and the gathering broke into smaller groups.

I watched as Eleazar and Carlisle walked up the stairs, lost in conversation. Though they spoke too quickly to understand, I was sure they were speaking about me.

Esme, Carmen and the other two Denali women made their way into the room under the stairs while the rest went upstairs, to their rooms I assumed. The only one who stayed behind was Edward.

"Don't worry about what Eleazar said," he stated as he sat on the cushion next to me. "He doesn't understand the… situation. You're a member of this family, and you're so fragile. You've been stolen from your life and thrust into a world of monsters. Of course I'm protective."

"I didn't think anything of it," I responded. "It confused me but other than that, I hadn't taken it to heart."

_Yeah, right. That's _exactly_ where I had taken it._

"Good." He smiled tightly. "I wouldn't want your feelings to get hurt."

"They weren't." I said tightly.

_Keep your distance. Keep your distance. Keep your distance._

My stomach growled and clenched, informing I was hungry. "I'd better get something to eat." I laughed and brought my hand to rest on my stomach. "It sounds like there'll be a revolt soon, if I don't." I stood, needing space.

"I can help you," Edward suggested, rising from the couch.

"No, that's okay," I said, turning and walking toward the kitchen. "I can fend for myself. Besides, I don't think I'll need help; it's pretty easy."

"Oh," he replied. I turned and saw he was following me. "Do you mind if I join you?"

Although I wanted nothing more than to be with him, it went against my decision to stay away. Still, I couldn't say no to him.

"That's up to you," I answered weakly. "If you want to watch me eat cereal, go right ahead. But I assure you, it's not the most fun in the world."

He laughed. "I think I'll be fine."

As soon as I walked through the kitchen, my impatient stomach growled again. I rushed to grab everything for a bowl of cereal and sat at the table. In my nervousness, I practically inhaled the food and wound up choking at one point. Edward nearly had a panic attack when that happened despite my numerous attempts to tell him I was fine.

The rest of the time our conversation was light and superficial. I didn't want to go into anything of importance, and I think he had picked up on that fact.

After I finished breakfast, I made a sandwich. "For later," I explained when I turned to see Edward standing with one eyebrow raised quizzically. I didn't want to tell him the food was so I could stay in my room longer to avoid him. The bread would dry out in the next few hours, but at least I could stick to my plan easier.

I covered the plate in plastic wrap and turned to face Edward. It was time to put everything into action. "Um…I'm just going to go upstairs for a while," I said. "Everyone else is doing something. Do you think that's rude?"

"No," he answered. "I'll go with you."

"Hmmm." I squared my shoulders in an attempt at strength. "I kind of wanted to be alone. You know, sort everything out on my own."

"Oh." His response was so short and his body language guarded; I had no idea what he was thinking.

"All right," I said. "I'll see you later then."

He nodded, and I raced up the stairs, away from temptation. I wasn't sure which temptation I was running from; there were so many.

I sat in the rocking chair, staring out the window. The events from the conversation repeated in my mind. My apparent talent was overshadowed by the mention of mating. What did that even mean? The only definition I could think for mating was sexual. I was uncomfortable thinking about that sort of thing and Edward together; it made my mind go down the wrong path.

Or the right one, depending…

_No!_ _Definitely wrong._

Hours passed, and I fought to keep my mind from the only place my thoughts wished to go. Unfortunately, nothing helped. _He_ popped into my mind at regular intervals…a dripping faucet.

_Edward…Edward…Edward._

Later, I finally decided to venture out of my room. It was late, and the sandwich I'd eaten for lunch wouldn't last the night; I was already starving. I tentatively walked down the hall and stairs, meeting no one. The house was silent, but that meant nothing. These people hardly made noise, unless they were purposely doing so for me.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a quick bite to eat. Still no one came to talk to me. It was odd to be alone. Usually either Alice or Edward or both were at my side. As I was leaving the kitchen, Edward was standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"I saw your bedroom door was open," he said.

"I'm sure you heard me open it," I countered. _And you heard me walking…and eating, I'm sure._

"True." He nodded his head in my direction. "Are you getting ready to go to sleep?"

"No, I'm going to go over there." I pointed to the family room. "Maybe watch some TV before I go to bed."

"I'll watch too," he stated.

There was no question in his words. He would be joining me. I needed to say no, but I didn't want to. I'd missed him all day, even though he'd been present in practically every thought.

_Not even twenty-four hours, and you've given up, Bella. A _new_ world record._

"Sure," I said, disappointed in my lack of will power. I started walking but stopped short and turned around. Edward was extremely close to me, disrupting my train of thought for a moment. "Um, I want to watch a movie instead. I'm going to make popcorn first."

"Didn't you just eat?"

"There's always room for popcorn," I said, patting my stomach.

"I can make it," he offered. "You go pick out a movie, and I'll have it ready in a few minutes."

"Okay."

I watched him blur as he dashed to the kitchen. I really had failed at keeping my distance. But how could I help the fact that he refused to stay away from me? I guessed I hadn't made my intentions clear, but how did you explain to someone that you couldn't be near them because you liked them too much. It really didn't make much sense.

As I pondered my situation, I walked to the DVD collection and grabbed the first one my fingers clasped around. It was a movie from the 80s. The title didn't ring any bells, but I popped it in the player anyway.

The DVD menu was displaying when Edward arrived with my popcorn. He handed it to me, and I inhaled deeply.

"Smells really good. Thanks."

He smiled slightly and sat as far away as the couch would allow.

"Risky Business?" he asked.

"First one I grabbed." I shrugged.

Rebecca De Mornay was absolutely beautiful. She reminded me of Rosalie, just the type of girl a leading man, someone like Edward, should have—barring the whole prostitution thing.

The film was pretty good but it was late, and I was tired and content with Edward finally by my side, so I drifted to sleep an hour into it.

Suddenly I could tell that I was no longer on the couch. It felt like I was floating. The object holding me should have felt warm and soft had I still been on the couch. Instead something cool and hard was surrounding me. I cuddled into it. The object was nowhere near as comfortable as the couch but it was somehow preferable, and it smelled good…really good.

I blinked my eyes open. Though my vision and brain were foggy, I figured out that Edward was carrying me up the stairs.

"I can walk, you know," I croaked. "You could've just woken me. You didn't need to carry me upstairs."

"We're almost there," he said softly.

I was going to protest, but being in his arms felt right, and I really was tired. I closed my eyes and groaned, snuggling into him. His grasp tightened minutely and he softly sighed.

After walking into the room, Edward placed me on the bed. The last thing I remembered was feeling the soft mattress against my body and the warm blankets enveloping me as I rolled onto my stomach.

* * *

End Notes:

As always, thank you so much for reading. And for those who review, you make my day many times over. I love each and every review. Until you write something, you can't understand how important they are. It's wonderful to know when someone enjoys something you've written.

Thank you for sticking with me long enough to get to chapter 11! Wow! Chapter 11; I never thought I'd post 1 let alone 11!

This may have been a confusing chapter; there's a lot of info. Let me know any questions you may have, and I will answer what I can! :D Some girls have been discussing possible theories over at the thread, and I will answer any questions you have there:

http://twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(doc)php?f=33&t=7526

Recs:

Strange Bedfellows by the_bouquet-a great AU fic

Resolutions by DoUTrustMe-another spectacular AU fic that had me up until 4 AM reading it. There's a thread somewhere, too.

If you'd like to see the falls, here's the link (there's even a video):

http://www(dot)(dot)com/beaver-falls

On research of file to have them watch, I did a twitter poll. Another Tom Cruise movie was mentioned, but I remembered Risky Business, so I included it. I found out a few things. It takes place outside Chicago. And in the alternate ending, Joel gets accepted to Dartmouth. I like those mentions, so I thought I'd make them known! :D

Last in my epic notes:

I have joined forces with nowforruin, author of Two Forks, and bookgeek80, beta extraordinaire. We will be offering a three-shot, with the possibility for continuation, for the Fandom Gives Back auction. We have created the user nowforgeekbs. Look for us on FFnet and twitter.


	12. Obscure

Thank you for reviewing LC! I fell behind on responses, but I will respond and I appreciate ALL of them. As always, if anyone is still reading, you rock.

My permanent betas are wonderful. Thanks so much, Strider and jfka06.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

* * *

12. Obscure

Dazed and disoriented, I squinted around the cramped, enclosed space. The fog filling my head matched the atmosphere; my world was turned askew. I was unable to place where I'd been or where I was, unable to focus on anything but the confusion taking over my previously fogged thoughts.

There was only one thing I could understand. I was trapped.

Groping around the hazy atmosphere, I felt the smooth, cold, solid side of the object that had become my cage. Pain spread throughout my body with every movement, and I cried out hoping for relief of some sort; maybe someone would hear me. No one did. Sliding my hand down, I met another smooth surface joining the other, bumping out. Was there no opening, no escape?

Though both surfaces were smooth, the second was not as cold. But nothing else helped to clarify anything. I _still_ couldn't tell where I was, and that terrified me even more than the choking mist thickening around me. The acrid air scorched my lungs as I tried to breathe, and I spluttered in response, each cough a jab to my already throbbing chest.

I tried to twist, but it was impossible. The raw ache throughout my body prevented more than the movement of my one arm. My hopes fell; the little knowledge I'd gained from my exploration hadn't helped in the slightest, and no one had responded to my screams.

My eyes filled with tears from both the biting smoke and the shooting pain. As each agonizing moment passed, the throbs increased and spread to every nerve.

Suddenly, I noticed heat, far too hot for comfort, licking at my toes. Adrenaline flowed through my veins, and I was finally able to ignore the pain that had debilitated me. In vain, I slammed my hand against the smooth surface next to my head, hoping to break through the unseen barrier. I might as well have tried to push a boulder up a mountain using a feather.

I screamed again, my mind clouding with terror, my lungs filling with caustic smoke.

Another coughing fit assailed me, and my vision twisted and swayed as I tried to gather my thoughts. In an attempt to free myself, I jerked to the left but found that my leg was pinned, caught in some sort of immovable trap. I tried to shift my lower leg—it had been free just a minute ago—but nothing helped. I nearly stopped breathing as the air seemed to become almost solid.

My feet became painfully hot, like they were in flames. I cried out again, frantically struggling to break free, whipping around in my seat, but nothing helped.

Out of nowhere, a coolness covered my hand, and my fear eased slightly.

"Help me," I screamed.

"Bella?" A soft disembodied voice beckoned, echoing from nowhere in particular.

Though I was apparently still alone, the gentle tone soothed my mind further, even as my body burned hotter. The cold that had wrapped around my hand dissipated and all that was left was the heat of the ever growing fire advancing up my legs. I was going to die; I knew it.

I'd thought the pain before had been the worst possible, but to my horror, it got worse. I struggled harder to dislodge myself, but this time my shoulders were restrained by what felt like steel bands pressing me against the soft cushion below. I thrashed and struggled but movement was practically impossible.

_Where is _that_ voice? Why won't it help?_

As if it had heard me, the cooling touch, that had driven away the fire, coated my hand again. A sweet, inviting scent accompanied the coolness this time. Once more, the earlier tranquility surrounded me.

"Bella?" the male voice said. "Wake up. Please. Wake up."

_I want to. But I _can't_. Help me._

I wasn't even strong enough to mouth the words but I knew that somehow the voice would hear me, even as my consciousness ebbed.

Then the earthquake began—burning wasn't enough? It was gentle at first but grew increasingly stronger as I was rattled. Nausea churned in my stomach. The smoke and horror and fire and queasiness all combined to overwhelm me. I closed my eyes in an attempt to clear my head.

Suddenly the shaking stopped and the world was quiet. The sound of the flames as well as the heat were both gone, the air clean and fresh. The only scent was so sweet, so delicious, that I inhaled moving toward it reflexively. The back of my head rubbed against something soft, much softer than what had been there previously.

I opened my eyes to darkness.

So dark that I couldn't see anything.

I had no idea where I was—a feeling I was all too familiar with. I just knew I wasn't in that tight space anymore.

I blinked furiously, trying to bring something into focus but there wasn't enough light. I jerked my head from side to side, searching for anything familiar, but even though I was awake, I couldn't understand anything that was happening.

In an instant, my hand grew warm again and a light seeped through from the crack of a nearby doorway. Almost as quickly, Edward appeared by my side.

I gasped and my hand automatically came up against my throat as I flinched away.

"Oh, sorry." His face was concerned, but I was disoriented and didn't care to find out why.

I looked down to see my body swaddled in the sheets and comforter. After wriggling around to loosen the constraints, I pulled myself into a seated position. I quickly untangled the rest of my body and looked at my legs. Oddly enough, I was still wearing the same clothes from the night before. In fact, I couldn't even remember going to bed.

Again, the earlier panic took control. I'd been burning, unable to move or really even scream effectively. I needed to check my body, make sure everything was fine. There had to be some kind of damage done. After ripping off my socks, I pulled up my pants, exposing my calves. Everything was perfect, unharmed, though I could still feel remnants of the invisible, impossible phantom fire from moments before.

"Are you all right?" Edward asked, bringing me back to the present and the fact that I was safe in my room in his family's house. As with his cooling touch, his voice pulled me further from the horror of my dream, a lifeline to reality. He was the refuge and safety the dream had burned away.

"What happened?" I leaned over and pressed my hands against my legs and rubbed my feet, confused by the fact that they were whole.

"You were dreaming," he said. His voice was soft, but tight. "It must've been terrible. You were tossing and turning and… screaming. I tried to calm you, and that appeared to work for a moment but then you went back to struggling."

"It _was_ horrible…but it was a dream. Only a dream."

After sitting up straight, I rubbed my eyes to remove the last remnants of sleep. My labored breathing and racing heart slowed, thanks to Edward's nearness, while I tried to calm myself further.

"I'm sorry," I said, my gaze flickering everywhere but to Edward, finally settling on my lap.

"Sorry?" he asked, stepping closer, drawing my attention back to him. He lifted his left arm toward me and then quickly dropped it, his mouth twisting uncomfortably. "Sorry for what?"

"I bothered you and probably everyone else in the house. I'm sure you were busy with…" _your visitors. Maybe Tanya's back_. My lap had once again become very interesting. "…other things, and I interrupted."

Since my feet were in one piece, I felt it was okay to replace my socks. I would have left them off, if I was going back to sleep, But one thing was definite; I wasn't going to remain in bed. After that nightmare, I wouldn't be able to sleep even if I'd wanted to. My racing heart and the accompanying adrenaline rush wouldn't allow my mind to calm.

"There's no issue with that, Bella," he sighed. After a brief pause, he tacked on, "It's not like I was sleeping, anyway."

The soft look in his eyes disconcerted me, the gold pulling me in, and all thought of keeping my distance flew from my mind. Everything about him invited me in. However, after my thoughts untangled and the butterflies settled, I realized that I'd never seen _that_ expression before, pity.

"Sure, _you_ don't sleep," I said a little more harshly than I'd meant. "So _you_ can't have nightmares. How _lucky._" The bitterness in my voice was unveiled. "You can't even understand how frightening it is, can you? It seemed so real."

"Explain it to me," he calmly said, sitting on the edge of my bed facing me. "My memories may be fuzzy, but I was sick at the end of my human life, delirious at times. I remember _some_ of that, though I'll admit most has faded quite a bit. What was the dream about?"

"About?" I delayed, in an attempt to gather my thoughts.

His hard look let no room for delays.

"Um…fine." I took a deep breath and released it. "I was trapped inside some place small and solid, but I couldn't tell what. It was very smoky and it kept getting worse. I tried to find a way out, but there wasn't one. It was so scary, and I couldn't breathe." The pace of my breaths increased with the memory. "Then it got really hot, and I felt like I was on fire."

"Fire?" he asked, interrupting me.

I nodded.

His voice was calm but his furrowed eyebrows betrayed some emotion I couldn't discern. "You were… on fire in your dream? Was there anything before that?"

"No," I answered. "There's nothing before. But, I couldn't see…you know, because of the smoke…from the fire."

He relaxed slightly. "So there was an actual fire. Flames and all?"

"No," I replied. "Just the smoke or fog or whatever it was and the burning. It was awful; it hurt so much. I couldn't move, and it just kept getting worse and worse until I finally woke up." My tears left wet trails as they trickled down my face, and I wiped them away with the back of my hand.

Though he'd looked away while I told the rest, I could just make out his profile. From the set of his jaw and his outline, he seemed to be rigid, almost tense. I couldn't even tell if he was breathing, and I wondered why my dream would have such an impact on him.

After a few moments, he sighed and turned to speak. "If you remember anything more about this dream, you _need _to talk to someone about it. It seems that it's really upset you." I couldn't see well in the dim light, but I could feel the weight of his eyes boring into me.

"It did," I said. "I mean, normally I can tell I'm dreaming, but this was so…real, almost like it was actually happening." I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself, vainly trying to free my mind of the memories. "Anyway…I don't want to think about it anymore."

"Okay," he agreed quickly. "We won't talk about it anymore…at least not tonight."

He reached over and curved his palm along the side of my face, running the side of his thumb from my cheekbone to my ear. Though his skin was ice cold, it left a warm trial across my cheek, a pleasant burn.

Again his eyes displayed a deep compassion I was more used to seeing from Carlisle. He'd never touched me like this before, and although I loved the sensation of his skin on mine, I fought the urge to pull away. If he was touching me out of pity, I didn't want it.

"You _should_ go back to sleep," he practically cooed to me. His voice was tempting, coaxing me to follow. "It's still very early."

I was about to say yes, when the fear from before took over. "I—I don't want to," I protested. I knew he was about to disagree, so I cut him off. "I mean, I don't think I can. Too worked up. I'll have more nightmares." I looked around the room, searching for something to pass the time. "I think I'll just stay up and read a book. You can go back to whatever you were doing before I interrupted."

I sprang up from my bed, perhaps a little too quickly because I nearly lost my footing. Luckily, I caught myself. A slight chuckle behind me alerted me that my clumsiness was not unnoticed. As I headed over to my shelves, I passed the light switch and flicked it on. After pulling down a random book bound in red, _Wuthering Heights_, I walked to the chaise and sat down.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Edward asked, sounding almost worried that I'd reject him.

"Not at all," I said, patting the seat next to me. "Sure you don't want to go back to whatever you were doing before?"

"I don't think that's going to be possible, but I may wind up doing something…similar," he answered cryptically. He smiled briefly and flashed to my side, startling me—I still needed to get used to that.

"Oh, sorry," he chuckled, his eyes bright with amusement. "How about music?"

"Sure," I answered, tracing my finger along the gold lettering on the book's cover. "Anything in mind?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing," he said with a chuckle. "Tell me what you want to hear."

"I'm always up for most anything…just not country, please. Or rap."

"How about one of the CDs I gave you for Christmas?"

"A man after my own heart," I teased, looking back at him over my shoulder. He smiled slightly—it didn't reach his eyes—and breathed severely out of his nose in a harsh semblance of a laugh. "Well, I've only listened to the first one. Why don't we listen to the next one that was released…I think I'd like to go in chronological order."

"So, the first was Cold Spring Harbor," he said. Though his words were a statement, I nodded. "Next is…" He reached to the shelf and pulled out a jewel case. "…Piano Man." The slight curve of his lips looked like a smirk.

"Okay." That title sounded extremely familiar for some reason. I wondered why that could be. I pushed at the boundaries of my memory, feeling the elastic give as I pressed and return to previous shape when I pulled back. If only I could find a way to puncture the balloon, I knew that the memories residing on the other side would just flood back in.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Hmmm?" I stupidly answered, lifting my eyes to meet his, which widened unexpectedly.

"You have your lip between your teeth," he explained, turning his attention to the CD in his hand. I unclenched my teeth, freeing my bottom lip. "That usually means there's something bothering you."

"Am I that predictable?"

He laughed. "I'd say that I'm learning to read you…So?" He looked back at me, his eyes full of questions.

"That title…Piano Man. It seems familiar, though I can't place why."

"Well, that's what they call him. Billy Joel, that is. He's called the Piano Man. It's his…nickname, I guess."

"Oh," I said. That must be why I've heard it before." But that explanation didn't seem enough.

He placed the CD in the player and turned to face me. After the sound of the CD whirling in the player filled the room, he spun around and stood in place analyzing my reaction.

My cheeks burned under his scrutiny. If he kept it up, it would be no time before he knew my secret. I looked down to the book cover, once again tracing the gold writing on the binding.

At first, I enjoyed the song, a fast drum beat soon accompanied by a guitar and piano. It was pleasant and upbeat as Billy's voice joined in. Just what I needed.

I couldn't help but smile at the lyrics about, making sure "all her dreams are sweet." I wondered if this was Edward's way of wishing me nice dreams. I'd chosen the CD, but he'd chosen the song. I felt a warmth spread and an unbidden smile spread across my face.

Then, the song took a sudden turn for the worst. At the sound of a banjo, I wrinkled my nose.

I snapped my head up to look at him. "No," I said my tone sounding disgusted. "No country, you didn't tell me it would be like this." I'd turned from disgust to whining apparently.

He shook his head at me, one side of his mouth pulled up in a half smile.

"Not country?" I asked. "What is it then? Bluegrass or something?"

He laughed.

"You promised," I whined.

"I did no such thing."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Just turn it off."

Before he moved, the music stopped. I was grateful for the end of the song. Suddenly, I realized I was wrong; the song wasn't over. It was a brief pause that, when it returned, had mutated into some horrible pretense of music.

"I do _not_ like that. A banjo…and a jaw harp? C'mon! This stinks."

He laughed ever harder.

"Next one," I commanded, narrowing my eyes at him. "Turn it off now."

I felt my temper rising. I was beyond just wanting the song off. I was annoyed, more at myself than him. I could tell from his body language that he'd played it to irritate me, and I had thought he was being kind.

"You know, you're funny when you're angry."

_Funny?_

Anger at his humor spurred me to stand up myself and turn it off. As I began to lift myself from my seat, he abruptly turned around and hit the button to skip the song.

"I thought you would find it funny." He sounded repentant but I could never be sure with him.

I shrugged and looked away. "No big deal," I said, my voice betraying my lie.

"I apologize," he said. "I wouldn't have played it, if I thought it would upset you so much."

"Sure." My dismissive tone was obvious.

"No, really," he said softly. "It was meant as a joke. I'm sorry to have upset you."

"It's fine," I replied giving in. "You're forgiven. Let's move on"

After that last atrocity, I was ready to feign listening to the next song, but the piano introduction was recognizable, and I was instantly sucked in. "I've heard this before."

"I'm sure you have," he said. "It's Piano Man." He walked over and joined me on my over-sized chair. He sat so close that I could feel the cool temperature of his body and smell his sweet, enticing aroma.

I wanted to roll to my side and wrap myself around him. So after scooting away a millimeter, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, enjoying his wonderful scent, and finally opened the book I'd been holding.

"The children at school start that next semester," he said out of nowhere.

I was already surrounded by the heath of England and the tragedy of Heathcliff and Catherine when his voice brought me back to present day Washington.

"Sorry? What?"

"Wuthering Heights," he explained. "They're starting that book shortly after we return from Winter Break. It feels like I've heard the same discussions on that book a hundred times."

"You haven't been through high school a hundred times, yet," I joked. "You've only been alive a little over a hundred years."

He laughed.

"Bet I'd fit right in, then…with the kids, I mean," I said, gauging his response. "I'd be able to learn about it along with them."

"_You_ would stand out," he said quietly.

"What does that mean?" I asked, affronted. "I'm sure I'd fit in better than you do. I look more the part, anyway…at least I'm human."

"No, no," he replied. "I didn't mean it like that. Of course, you'd fit in better than I do. They know we're dangerous, even if they're not sure why. A fact that you seem to overlook, might I add. But I meant that I couldn't see how someone like you would be able to fade into the background, especially among the bland, sheep-like children of Forks."

_This was my chance to plant the seed_.

"Do you really think I could pull off being a _normal_ teenager?"

"Of course," he answered. "Like you said, you look the part. Besides, they don't pay enough attention outside of the little worlds they've created to notice your maturity. They'd make you whatever they wanted you to be."

"Maybe I should join you all when the semester starts…" I left the suggestion hanging to work its way into his head, and turned back to my book.

I had breezed over a few more unread paragraphs before he spoke.

"I don't think that would be the best idea."

I pretended to finish the paragraph, before I marked and closed the book. Then I turned my head to him.

"Why not?" I asked sweetly. "I get bored here all day, and I think it might help jog my memory to actually be around people who are more…like me."

"No," he said. "Besides, the only way _they_ are like you is in physical appearance. You wouldn't feel comfortable there."

"I think I would."

"No."

"I respect _your_ opinion, Edward," I replied. "But you aren't the only one with a say in this. The rest of the family's opinions are important, too. I think I'll discuss this with everyone later. See what they have to say."

He groaned quietly and huffed.

He clearly didn't like that I wanted to discuss it with everyone, but he knew he had no choice.

I opened the book and immersed myself in the strange world the words painted, enjoying the main characters' love and perversely their loss. Their world became my own as I read.

"I think it's time to join everyone downstairs," he said out of nowhere, tearing my attention from the book. "Alice and Tanya will be here in a few minutes."

I looked over to see him gazing in my direction, his eyes far away. The unforced smile on his face intensified his perfection. For a short moment, I forgot how to breathe.

_Get a grip, Bella._

I searched for something to take my attention away from his beauty and noticed that he had nothing in his hands. He must have put his book back already, but I couldn't remember seeing him with one. How odd. I wondered what he could have been doing the entire time. He must have been bored out of his mind sitting next to me with nothing to do.

One glance at the clock gave me the time, almost seven. We'd been there on the chair for at least two hours. The music had long stopped, so apparently he'd had nothing to occupy his time while he babysat me.

He quickly stood. "Are you coming down?"

"I need to take a shower first, I think." I looked at my clothing. "Or at least change my clothes. I can't be seen wearing the same thing as yesterday. What would your visitors think?"

He laughed. "They wouldn't care. Besides, you look beautiful."

"What?" Now it was my turn to laugh. "I'm sure my hair and makeup are both a mess. My clothes are wrinkled. I probably have bags under my eyes. Not what _I'd_ call beautiful. You're starting to sound just like Alice." I rolled my eyes.

_I'll never pass for beautiful, _I thought sadly. _Not like you._

"You don't see yourself very clearly," he said, shaking his head. "Don't take a shower. You should be downstairs when Alice and Tanya get here."

"All right," I agreed. "I'll be quick. Do you think Alice will kill me over jeans and a T-shirt?"

"She has no choice, does she?" he said. "She's not here."

"Nope."

"She left you to your own devices this morning. Take advantage of it." After a small smile, he walked out of the door and closed it behind him.

I still wasn't familiar with all the contents of my enormous closet, so I ran to a dresser and quickly grabbed the first shirt—dark blue stretch cotton—and pair of jeans. Both were soft and comfortable.

When I opened the door, the hallway was vacant. But as I stepped out, Edward's door swung open and he was standing there in fresh clothes. The knit of his thin, beige sweater caressed the planes of his muscular chest beautifully. I wanted to run my hands along the visible ridges, barely finding the control not to do so. Reluctantly, I pulled my eyes from him.

_Stop it._

"Ready?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Yes, let's go." I looked him over again. "You look very nice, by the way."

His eyes fell to the floor. "Thank you. So do you. I love that shade of blue on you."

This time I looked away to hide my blush behind my hair. "Um, thanks."

_How awkward are you, Bella?_

His hand broke the curtain of my hair, and I stared at it, not understanding what he wanted at first. Then, I realized that he wanted me to grab on. I breathed deeply. Did I want to open myself up like this? I just had to control my thoughts.

_Like that's possible_.

Still, I wanted to feel his skin against mine, to feel that rush of electricity his touch always brought. After another breath, I tentatively brought my hand to his and clasped on.

All at once, I was bombarded by garbled speech, and Edward's _rough_ voice, breaking the barrier of my mind. Conversely, the ease that washed over me with something as simple as his touch relieved all agitation, and I was able to face him.

I tried not to think about the way my body and mind reacted to his touch or the way his eyes seemed to see right through me, instead focusing on the distorted other voices. No matter how I tried, I couldn't understand anyone but Edward.

_Hello there_. He smiled at me, the picture of ease.

_Um…hi_. I replied. _What's up with you today? You seem… happy?_

I heard him mumble many different things at once, but nothing made any sense.

After a few seconds of garbled words, he finally answered. _Happy? Is that how I look?_ His thoughts were light and playful; I knew he was joking with me.

_I guess it is. I can't really place it, but you look…different somehow. _I smiled in response to his buoyant mood, something I wouldn't normally attribute to him.

_Is it wrong to be happy?_ The smile still hadn't left his face.

_No, there's really nothing wrong with it. It's just…different, like I said._

All throughout the time I was talking, I could hear his voice tangling and weaving through other strands of thought, but the words were not clear. He was learning to edit in his own mind.

He laughed and nodded. _Yes, I am. You do it. Why not me?_

I couldn't help but return his laugh. _Yes, but I don't know how I do it. So, it's not done purposely. How do you do it?_

His mouth twisted and he debated. Still his thoughts were quiet and muddled, intertwining into indistinguishable sounds. No matter how I tried I couldn't pick out a single word.

_I think it's the same way you do. You just do it subconsciously. If I want something hidden… _His distinct words trailed off.

_Did you just do it there?_

_Yes._ He looked almost smug.

That annoyed me, and I thought about pulling my hand away, but he gently grasped my elbow, making that impossible.

"Please don't," he said, his eyes pleading.

"Hmmm," I huffed, and followed with a _delicate_ snort. I tugged at his grasp, taking a half step forward, to get him to begin walking. It was awkward just standing there in the middle of the hall clutching each other.

He laughed again. Through his muted thoughts, a few random bits broke through, "adorable," "kitten," and "keep it light."

_What_? I asked.

_It's nothing,_ he casually responded, but I could sense his tension increase.

_You want a cute kitten, and you don't want it to get fat? What does that have to do with anything? Anyway, I thought _you_ wouldn't want pets._

He laughed again, a rich ringing sound that echoed throughout the hall. I decided in that moment that his laugh was the most perfect sound ever. I'd do anything I could, for as long as I lived, to see him happy.

He abruptly stopped laughing and his tone became serious. His eyes were deep pools of gold, burning with an intensity that frightened me. _You shouldn't think things like that. It's not safe for you in many ways._

_What? I like it when you're happy. You have an infectious laugh._

He shook his head.

_Let's talk…think about something different._ I was working myself up to ask him the question that had burned in the back of my mind since he first held out his hand a few moments earlier. _What made you want to touch me? You haven't asked since we were in Carlisle's office._

He smiled broadly, displaying his perfect white teeth. _I like hearing most of what you're thinking, even if you edit some of it. At least it's more than I get from your spoken words._

_Okay. But why now?_

_I wanted to…let you speak to Eleazar before I asked again_.

He shrugged like his explanation made all the sense in the world.

_It does._

_Sure, it does._ I narrowed my eyes and mimicked the opposite of his half smile, pulling one side of my mouth into a frown.

He laughed again.

_There you go with the happiness thing again._

He laughed harder.

_Let's just go downstairs. _

We walked down to the main level while talking privately. In the background, one line of his thoughts kept up a steady rhythm, almost like a chanting. The sound soothing as he held my hand. Another strand hummed a beautiful tune. It wasn't one that I recognized, and I often heard him stop and rework a part. I wondered if he was composing.

_Yes. Do you like it?_

_It's beautiful. I'd love to hear it when you've finished._ I squeezed his hand, the cold skin unforgiving against mine.

_You like it?_ He smile sheepishly, and I nodded in response._ Then, if it's ever finished, you'll definitely hear it._

We had reached the bottom of the stairs by this point, and everyone was already gathered in the main room. When Esme turned to greet us, her beautiful face lit up as her gaze feel on our clasped hands. We both released our grip quickly.

"Good morning, sweetheart," she greeted, rushing to my side. "You've been up for quite a while. Are you hungry at all?"

At her words, I realized that I was, in fact, starving. "Yes. I'll go get something."

"No, stay here with the others," Edward said turning toward the kitchen. "What do you want?"

"Like you'd even know if I told you," I said. "I'll show you. That way, you know what to get next time you decide to do something nice."

He huffed and started walking. I followed, nearly running into him when I walked through the door. He had stopped short just inside the kitchen, his hands motioning to the room like a model in a commercial.

"It's all yours," he said, laughing at my shocked face.

"Thanks." I walked around him and to the pantry. There, on the top shelf, was the rectangular box I'd been looking for. "Actually, I'm glad you came with me," I said. "Your height comes in good for something."

Instantly he was by my side. His close proximity was maddening. All I could think about was touching him, running my hand through his hair, gliding my fingertips across his jaw, any physical contact. I shook my head, hoping the action would rid my mind of those thoughts.

"Is there something you're unable to reach?"

"Yes," I answered, pointing to the box above my head, just out of my reach. "That. Up there."

He easily grabbed the box and handed it to me. "Here you go, shorty."

I couldn't help but smile at his teasing as I reached into the box, then grabbed two silver wrapped toaster treats and handed the box back to him.

"Thanks."

I quickly left the pantry, trying to gain distance and perspective, and grabbed a plate from the cupboard. After tearing open the package, I placed one hard pastry on the plate, and left the other in the package for later.

"That's what you're going to eat?" Edward asked, appearing on the other side of the counter, eying my food doubtfully.

"What? It tastes good."

"You're not going to do anything to it? You're just going to eat it like that?'

"Yep," I said. "I could warm it up in the toaster. But why? It's just as good cold." I picked up the plate and started toward the living room, stopping when Edward blocked my path.

"You could have told me what to get. I would've been able to handle that," he said, gesturing to my plate. "_That_ is not difficult." He grabbed my right arm at the elbow and inched his hand down toward my hand, his eyes questioning. I welcomed any contact of his skin against mine, so I didn't protest.

Suddenly, the door behind me opened. I turned to see Alice and Tanya entering the kitchen.

"Hey, guys," Alice called.

Tanya smiled kindly, but said nothing, though I did notices her eyes flash to Edward's grip on my arm.

"So, Bella," Alice began. I could tell from her tone she was going to try to wheedle something out of me. "Tanya and I were hoping to take you out today."

The muted voices took over my head, but I paid them no attention.

_What torture do they have planned for me now?_

Edward's laugh echoed both verbally and in my head.

_So _you're_ back in, I see._

He laughed again. _Yep._ His tone told me he was mimicking my earlier response.

"Very funny," I said turning to him.

"So?" Alice asked. "What do you think?"

I knew there was no chance of winning against her.

_No, there usually isn't._

_You just stop with the pessimism, mister. _

But I knew he was right. "I guess I'll go, Alice. What other choice do I have?"

"None, really."

I rolled my eyes. "Can I at least eat first? Where are we going?"

"You'll find out," she said. "And by all means, eat up. We won't have time to stop anywhere until we get there."

We all made our way to the living room with Alice rambling about something, Edward humming, chanting and hiding the other thoughts from me, and Tanya staying silent. I didn't know much about this woman, but her silence seemed out of place—I could barely hear her voice through Edward's thoughts.

As soon as we stepped through the door, I wiggled my hand and Edward dropped it—I didn't need more scrutiny. After making my way to Esme, I sat beside her, and rested my head on her shoulder. She wrapped her arm around me, squeezing my shoulders in a gentle hug.

"Our guests are leaving tomorrow morning," Esme said. "I heard Alice ask you to go with her and Tanya somewhere. The others are probably going to stay here, but you're free to do whatever you want. Did you want to go with Alice?"

_Not really, but I don't have a choice._

Since my ability to lie convincingly was zero, I nodded and hummed in response. Alice stood nearby; her glances and rough outbursts of breath announcing her impatience. I shoved the last bite of my breakfast into my mouth, chewed and swallowed. The little toaster pastry was not enjoyable when inhaled.

"Fine," I huffed, standing up. "Let's go."

* * *

End Notes:

As always, thank you so much for reading. And for those who review, you make my day many times over. I love each and every review. Until you write something, you can't understand how important they are. It's wonderful to know when someone enjoys something you've written.

The thread: ?f=33&t=7526

I post teasers and may give hints as to what's going on.

I have joined forces with nowforruin, author of Two Forks and Roman Candle, and bookgeek80, beta extraordinaire. We will be offering a three-shot, with the possibility for continuation, for the Fandom Gives Back auction. We have created the user nowforgeekbs. Look for us on FFnet and twitter

I may get my own auction, as well.


	13. Victoria

Thank you for reviewing LC! I fell behind on responses, but I will respond and I appreciate ALL of them. As always, if anyone is still reading, you rock.

My permanent betas are wonderful. Thanks so much, Strider and jfka06.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

* * *

I grabbed my coat on the way to the door, roughly shoving my arms in the sleeves when the frigid air hit me.

"Do you want to ride in the front?" Tanya asked, the corners of her lips rising slightly.

"No, I don't think so," I answered, shaking my head. "I don't want to be able to see the road. These Cullens drive like _maniacs_."

Alice chuckled, and I could almost feel her eyes roll.

Tanya laughed. "Back it is, then. But Alice isn't driving, anyway. I am."

We turned the corner of the house, and in the driveway was an unfamiliar though obviously expensive, tan sedan. Its smooth curves and aerodynamic design not-so-subtly hinted at the luxury within. It sat squat, low to the ground, reminding me of a large cat waiting to pounce, its large headlights like the eyes of a lion peering over desert grasses. On the long grill, a mask-like shape announced the make. I didn't know enough about cars to be able to guess what that was. I climbed into the back seat of the car and fastened my seat belt—not that it would help in an accident. If we wound up wrapped around a tree, I wouldn't walk away. Though the leather was cold, I melted into the comfortable seat.

We drove a few miles down the highway before Tanya spoke again. "I guess we all drive the same…fast. It must be frightening for someone so…so human. You really _are_ fragile, aren't you?"

"When compared to you?" I asked. "I guess I am. But it really comes down to the fact that I just don't want to die. I think I've got a _little_ more time left."

"You won't have to worry about time, I don't think," Tanya responded, nudging Alice with her arm. From my seat behind Tanya, I couldn't see her face, but I could almost _hear_ her wink.

Alice turned to her, eyes wide and nostrils flared. I hated to see Alice annoyed at someone. I didn't spend the time to analyze why she was upset. It didn't matter. All I knew was that it was out of character for her. She should be flitting around throwing rose petals and singing about the joys of design, not irritated by this woman.

"Where are we going?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

Alice turned and smiled sweetly at me. It was a "thank you" of sorts, although it was clearly forced.

"I guess I can tell you part of it," she said. "We're making a trip up to Port Angeles. But we're not staying there. We're going to go on a boat ride."

"A boat ride?" I asked. "Why?"

"To see the scenery," Tanya responded. "You know, get out a little. It's so beautiful here."

"Couldn't we have looked at scenery a little closer to Forks?"

"Well, there's some things we needed to talk about…alone," Alice added. "Without the possibility of being overheard."

"Oh. Okay. What things?"

"We'll talk about it when we get there." Alice's clipped tone left no room for argument.

Though I could wait until she was ready to divulge her secret, I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Temperamental, aren't we?"

I heard Tanya laugh, but Alice was clearly not amused. She turned toward me and raised her eyebrows in a challenge. "Temperamental?"

"You heard me," I said boldly. "You're being temperamental."

She returned my eye roll and turned to face the front. Her sulking was comical, or maybe I was just happy to be getting out. Either way, I couldn't help but laugh.

The conversation died down again, and I watched the green forest zip by the windows, enthralled by its beauty—so much more enjoyable when viewed from a dry place. Less than half an hour later, we pulled into a parking space and walked into the nondescript ticket office. After purchasing our tickets, we went to the waiting area and sat. It was odd to see my two beautiful escorts in such a generic setting. They were completely out of place, flawless diamonds surrounded by shapeless lumps of coal.

We'd been in the waiting area only a few minutes, when a large white ship approached the harbor. I watched it dock, mesmerized as the men scrambled to ready everything for passengers, reminding me of ants scurrying around a sand hill.

Looking out over the Sound, I admired how the steel grey of the harbor water mirrored the clouds covering the sun. The rocky shoreline echoed the severe color of water and sky, concentrating it to a near black. This monochromatic setting stood out in harsh contrast to the lush green forests we'd just traveled through, though both were beautiful.

Soon after the ferry was prepared, we boarded and headed indoors. As we entered the cabin, I couldn't stop the sigh that passed my lips. I knew it was impossible to stay outside without freezing, but the view would be nowhere near as beautiful when I was trapped behind glass.

The cabin was large, filled with row after row of brown vinyl seats. They didn't appear particularly comfortable, but I opted for a seat in a middle row, next to one of the large windows. After I settled myself, the others hastily retreated to the back of the deck to stand in the open air. This annoyed me. They'd specifically asked me to come, and now they'd deserted me, knowing I wouldn't follow.

As I watched the scenery fly by, my anger at the situation increased until I was annoyed enough to no longer enjoy the water, the shoreline or the sky.

About ten minutes into the ninety minute voyage, _they_ appeared at my side.

"Hey, Bella," Alice greeted. "Sorry about that. I just wanted to show Tanya something out back." She shot a hard glance in Tanya's direction at the mentioning of her name.

"Yep," I said, my voice hard.

Though I was still miffed, I was glad they had returned. I didn't mention the fact that they'd left me alone, allowing my demeanor to show my annoyance. They spent the rest of the trip talking, and I stared out of the window pretending to enjoy the austere scenery.

Watching the water lap at the sides of the boat eased my aggravation, and my anger abated as the minutes passed. When the green roofs and the tall buildings of a city came into view, my frustration disappeared altogether, and excitement and curiosity filled me. I hadn't been to many places—that I remembered—and somewhere new was always welcome.

"Where are we?" I asked, turning in my seat to catch a better view.

"Victoria," Tanya answered. "Isn't it lovely?"

"Victoria? As in…Canada?"

Both Tanya and Alice nodded their heads.

"Didn't I need a passport? Canada _is_ out of the country, right?'

_Maybe my geography knowledge is off gallivanting somewhere with my memory._

"No worries," Alice answered. "I've taken care of everything. You already have a passport, and I've got you a driver's license as well as other documentation in the works. I've used Cullen for the passport, but you need to decide on a full name for the other things." She paused, and then continued. "It'll be needed when you to go to school."

"You know about that?" I asked, shocked that she hadn't mentioned it before. "I'm going?"

She shrugged. "Of course I know. You've been wavering about it, but it's been getting clearer."

"So I'm going to go?" My voice was a little too excited, almost manic, as I was trying to mask the gloom that filled me. I wanted to find out about my past, to force myself to remember, but I didn't want to lose the comfortable life I currently had. No matter how I tried, I couldn't resolve the two. Could I live after losing my family? I'd already lost everything else.

"It looks that way," she said matter-of-factly, oblivious to my internal struggle. "I think the only ones who are going to be against it are Edward and Rosalie."

_Edward, too?_ A sharp, ripping pain hit in the center of my stomach.

"I get why Rosalie doesn't want me to go." This wasn't unexpected. "She doesn't like me much, and I'm sure she wants the time away from me. But…why does Edward care? I thought we were friends."

Tanya giggled. "That's easy, of course. He doesn't want to share you with anyone. He's a _little_ possessive of you… which I'm sure you've noticed. Unfortunately, that'll probably only get worse."

Alice huffed.

"What?" I asked, annoyed at the constant push and pull from all sides. I felt like I was the baby that King Solomon decided to cut in half, and everyone else was one of the two mothers. "Are you _still_ on this mating thing? Like he said, that's _not_ going to happen."

Tanya laughed in response. Again Alice shot her that look of exasperation.

There was a brief moment where they just stared each other down. I sat uncomfortably as I watched their lips blur, guessing that there was something I was not intended to hear. Anger filled me. I'd had enough of the subterfuge, enough of the innuendos.

"Guys," I started, my voice rising, "do you know how _rude _it is to do that?" I glared at both of them. "I mean, I'm sitting right here…in front of you…and I know you're talking about me. It's obnoxious and annoying. I can also guess that it has something to do with all of the hints that Alice has been dropping." I looked at Alice. "Yes, Alice, I've noticed. I've just ignored them. And I'm sure what you're talking about has something to do with this whole mating thing, but I think it's time..." I looked away and to the shoreline. "It's _not_ going to happen. Just let it _go_."

I'd evidently resorted to whining.

"You're right, Bella," Tanya said her voice remorseful. "I apologize for talking about you like you're not even here."

"There are some things you need to understand, though," Alice quietly stated, sounding both surprised and abashed. "But they'll have to wait until we're alone."

"Yes, we won't talk about this right now," Tanya said. "There're too many people around. Let's just enjoy today." She grabbed my hand and squeezed gently. "As you know, Carlisle's family is our family, and I want to get to know the newest member."

"Anyway, Bella," Alice stated. "Like I said, I've got the documentation in the works. This passport…" She held up a small dark blue book. "… has Cullen as a last name. It's really only temporary. You won't be able to use that name in Forks."

"So I need to come up with one?" Swan, the name of the girl from the birth certificate, flitted before my eyes.

"Not that one," Alice interrupted my thoughts. "Too conspicuous. It belongs to the chief of police."

"I don't know, then. Can I think about it?"

"Sure. You don't need it, yet. You'd better think up a back story, too. You'll need _some_ sort of history."

"History," I mused.

"Yes, and you can have fun with it, at least within reason."

We got off the boat, and spent the next few hours traveling the city, while they pointed out areas of interest, and I enjoyed the surroundings. It was pleasant spending time outside the house. Although something was missing when I was away, the distance from the intensity of being a human living with seven vampires was soothing. I was able to relax and forget my stress while walking through the city streets.

We visited a large set of gardens that had been bedecked for the Christmas season. There were evergreen swags and garlands strewn throughout. To complete the festive spirit, wreaths of holly and winter berries decorated many signs. The celebratory nature and normalcy of this setting put me further at ease.

As we wandered, people-watching became my most interesting pastime. No matter how human the Cullens seemed to act, there was always an otherness to them. Being out allowed me the opportunity to study those who were more like me.

I stood watching families on a beautiful skating rink, vicariously sharing their enjoyment. Though they appeared to be having the time of their lives, I decided not to test my luck by stepping out onto ice balancing on thin pieces of metal. Alice had gone to scout out other places for us to go, leaving Tanya and me to watch the cheerful skaters.

"Aw, come on, it could be so much fun," Tanya faked whined—she'd turned out to be a really nice person. "We wouldn't let you fall. You'll be perfectly fine."

Her words may have been meant to comfort, but she didn't know me and the extent of my ineptitude.

"No, I don't think so. Thanks, anyway."

"Suit yourself. I won't try to force you, but I can tell that you want to join them." She smiled.

"It's not the skating…I'm just so…"

"You feel different around us," she provided. "Out of place?"

"A little."

"Basically you are, what with being our intended food source and all. But underneath it all, you're really not. We all see you as one of us. Well, at least as a member of the Cullen family."

I had learned that Tanya was really a kind person, and no matter how I tried, I was unable to dislike her. I couldn't even fault her for her interest in Edward. That would have been hypocritical.

Since we needed to return to Forks that night, we weren't able to stay late, and we missed the thousands of twinkle lights that supposedly lit the gardens. I would have liked to see the decorations, but I also ached to be back at home, back with Edward.

The rest of the day moved at a leisurely pace, and I was more relaxed than I had been for as long as I could remember by the time we had to make our way back to the docks. Of course, I only had a month's worth of memories, so that wasn't saying much.

On our drive back to the ferry, Tanya stepped into a store that neither Alice nor I wanted to visit. It was the last place we had time for before the ferry ride, so we both waited outside in the car.

"Bella," Alice called over her shoulder as soon as Tanya disappeared behind the shop door.

"Hmmm?"

"I didn't just invite you along for a nice day out," she explained, turning in the seat to face me.

"I figured as much," I answered wryly. "There's always an ulterior motive with you. So what's up?"

"Well, I don't know how to explain this." She paused and turned to face me. "So I'm just going to jump in."

"Please do, Alice."

"Okay." She took a deep breath. "I also took you here because I wanted you to explain some things about our presence in Forks, and to let you know some 'rules' about our living in the area, since you're going to be getting out more." She actually used air quotes when she said rules.

I bit my lip not to laugh at that gesture.

"And?"

"Well, we are unable to…visit certain…areas of the Olympic Peninsula."

"Unable? Why?" My eyebrows felt like they had met in the center of my forehead.

"Yes, Bella. Unable," she explained. "There are certain areas where the people are more superstitious, or more… aware might be the right word." She looked down. "They know what we are. They won't let us near their tribe. We—well, Carlisle and the others—made a truce with them many years ago, before Jasper and I joined the family. This treaty states that we won't go on their land, and they won't come on ours."

"Okay," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "So don't go."

"It's more complicated than that," she explained. "This area is small, and word travels quickly."

Was I being dense? "So?"

"Once they discover that a human lives with us, it may be difficult." She widened her eyes and nodded quickly in frustration. "They are made to…protect humans from us."

"So don't tell them." I shrugged my shoulders.

"They'll find out," she said emphatically. "There's no question of that. They knew we were coming back before we even moved here a couple of years ago. They don't trust us with humans. And they'll never trust us with the safety of one living with us."

"But I'm safe with you."

"I know you feel that way," she whispered. "But there is still danger, Bella. We are still very dangerous." She sounded more like she was convincing herself.

"I know you are." I looked out the side window, not wanting to see the truth in front of me.

"Once they find out, they'll call a meeting. Probably with Carlisle and maybe Edward or Jasper. You'll have to go, of course. They'll want to speak with you, too."

"Okay." My throat was dry when I tried to swallow. "Maybe I shouldn't go to school."

Perhaps I should stay in the fake safety net I'd created at the Cullen household. I knew the life I'd fashioned in Forks wasn't real, but I wanted to cling onto it tooth and nail. I didn't feel comfortable with the open abyss, the gaping nothingness that was my prior life. But a tiny voice in the back of my mind conjured horrible scenarios where I was gravely needed to attend to some matter. Sometimes it was pets that weren't taken care of, left to starve. Other times, it was an infirm relative, someone who needed me to watch over them. What if I had a family? A husband? Children?

I pushed these thoughts down, _trying_ to ignore them.

"Nonsense," she rebuffed, pulling me back to the present. "They'd find out about you, anyway. It's just best for you to know about them before that happens."

"I guess so."

"One more thing," she said.

"Yes?"

"Look at me." I turned to see her eyes blazing. "As a stipulation of the…treaty, we promised never to bite another human. This includes making another vampire. You can't say anything about mating to them. You know what they'll assume. They _cannot_ know."

"It isn't going to happen anyway, Alice."

She reached through the seats and grabbed my arm. "Promise me. They can't know."

"I won't say anything." I was going to leave it at that, but anger flashed through her eyes. "I promise."

"Good," she sighed. "Now onto the next thing you _need_ to understand. I've let it go on long enough without you knowing."

I sighed. "Fine, Alice. Spit it out."

"I know you don't believe in the mating habits of our kind." She held her hand against her chest.

"No, that's not it." I bit down on my thumbnail. How could I explain what I thought? "It's not that I don't believe in your… mating habits, as you call them."

"Okay," she said. "Where's the difficulty then?"

"I'm sure you understand your nature more than I do. That's a given. And you know Edward better than I do. I just… I think you're wrong about the two of us."

Her eyes narrowed. "So, you don't believe he's bonded to you?"

"Bonded?" That was a new word.

"Yes, there are two distinct…steps, I guess you'd call it, to vampire mating."

"It's so formal," I said. "I mean, it's so much easier for humans. You meet someone you like. You date them."

She laughed. "I assume it does sound formal, but it really isn't. It occurs naturally. When we see that person, the person who's supposed to be ours, we just know. " She sighed softly. "Besides, I think it's much easier than dating multiple people, searching for the right one, only to find after months or years that they're not the one for you."

"Um… I guess so. You're the one who's experienced it, so you'd know. But what happens if it takes forever to find that one person?"

Alice ignored that and went on with her explanation. "So, when a vampire first sees their mate, their soul mate, they are irrevocably connected to them, bound as we say. They feel protective and possessive of them. They _need_ to be near them. All this is not a conscious thing…they are just drawn to their other half. And for poor Edward, it's been too long, almost like an eternity. But now…" She smiled wistfully.

"And you think Edward feels that way about me?" I laughed, bitterness seeping through.

"It's the same for both individuals involved." Her tone was calm, soothing and annoying the heck out of me.

"You're wrong," I stated bluntly, clinically.

"How do you feel about him?"

Her question hit home. I had felt all those things about him, especially the need to be near him. Even with my decision to stay away, I couldn't.

"You're wrong," I echoed, my voice sounding hollow to my own ears.

She snorted and shook her head. "You'll see, Bella. You'll see."

"Sure." I rolled my eyes.

But what if she was right? She had mentioned numerous times that this was the way vampires mated. I wasn't a vampire. Would it work the same for me? It couldn't. Sure, I was drawn to him. But that was because he was alluring, not because I'd been "bound" to him. Wasn't it?

"Now, don't mention anything we've spoken about today to anyone, especially Edward." Alice's mention of _his_ name pulled me from my circular thoughts.

"Right." _Like I really want to annoy him._

She turned to face the dashboard and raised the volume on the radio. Clearly our conversation was over.

She'd obviously done exactly what she'd set out to do. I refused to allow myself to think about it more, refused to let her words worm themselves into my mind. Instead I turned my thoughts to the other bit of information I'd garnered.

There were others in the area who knew what the Cullens were, others who somehow had the ability to stop a vampire from hurting a human. I tried to fathom how human beings could be able to do so, but nothing came to mind. I was obviously missing some key bit of information.

"Well, that was a bust," Tanya's sweet voice pulled me from my musings. "They didn't have a thing I wanted." The fake pout plastered on her face was comical.

"I think we've already bought all of Victoria, anyway," I joked.

She gracefully drifted into the driver's seat and laughed.

"Ready to go?" Alice asked.

"Yep."

Once again, we made our way to a dock and boarded a ship. On both the boat and car ride back to Washington, I relived my day with Alice and Tanya. It had been wonderful, but I still didn't understand exactly why they had taken me so far away from the rest of the family. I guessed it was so I could be given all of this information, but I needed some alone time to figure things out. I refused to let my thoughts wander the path they kept starting. Heaven forbid I think about those things in front of either Tanya or Alice. It was a difficult trip, pretending to pay attention to their conversation while struggling to keep my thoughts clear.

I didn't want to allow myself to go down the course Alice had laid out for me. I was creating a chasm between two outcomes: staying with Edward and his family on one side, and returning to my real life on the other. I wanted to know my past—what if I'd been important to someone—but the pull to stay with the Cullens became stronger with each passing day.

No matter how I tried, the two warring desires filled my head as we headed toward home.

When we neared town, Tanya became serious again. "Bella, I know things must be very confusing right now, especially with your loss of memory. But everything will turn out all right. Just be yourself, and you'll see." She looked over to the passenger seat. "And I don't need Alice's visions to tell me that."

"Thanks," I answered. "I'm sure it will all come back to me at some point."

"I'm sure it will," she stated. "But everything else will work out as well."

"We'll see," I answered vaguely. I wasn't too sure how _everything _could possibly "work out."

When we arrived to the house, Esme had prepared a feast for me. I felt terrible telling her that I wasn't hungry. Against Alice's advice, I had eaten just before our last stop, and I was completely full.

She smiled graciously and said, "I'll just pack it up for you."

I thanked her and started trudging up the stairs with the few bags I had—Alice and Tanya had made the majority of the purchases.

Suddenly, Edward was at the top of the stairs. "Here, let me get those for you." He blurred as he flew down the stairs, reappearing at my side with his hand out.

"Um…thanks." I handed him two of the bags.

"I can easily take the rest," he said, a smug look on his face. "And you, too."

I raised my eyebrows. "Really?"

"Are you challenging me?"

_Is he flirting?_

"Not really," I said, backing away while tottering on the edge of the stair. This new side to Edward was slightly disconcerting. "I was only kidding."

He laughed and suddenly I was in the air, blinking to bring the room into focus.

"Whoa!" I yelled.

"You look a little tired," he said, his voice smooth and appealing even through his laughter. "I'll carry you upstairs, my princess."

"If I'm a princess, you must be my white knight," I giggled, my cheeks burning. "Does that make the Volvo your noble steed?"

After a breathy laugh, he started up the stairs, taking each one fluidly. I could barely tell we were moving.

"I guess it would."

"I'm not really that tired, you know. I can walk up two flights of stairs on my own. Besides, the 'bridal style' carrying is kind of embarrassing. Everyone down there saw that."

He laughed again. "Don't worry. No one will say anything to you. They know _you_ had no say in the matter."

"True enough." I laughed.

He gently placed me on feet when he reached my door.

"I'll let you get settled," he said, almost fidgeting. Edward hardly ever looked uncomfortable, and vampires never fidgeted.

I'd never seen any of them uneasy like this. It always seemed like they could hold still forever.

"What's wrong?" I asked, reaching up to grab his upper arm.

"It's nothing, really," he quietly answered. "It's just that I get…anxious when you're away. I know Alice and Tanya could have taken care of anything that might have crossed your path, but still…"

"You were getting all protective?" I asked, pleased that I could evoke such an emotion.

_Protective? And Tanya had mentioned possessive._

"That's one way of looking at it."

"What's your way?" I asked.

"Did you have a good time?" he asked, ignoring my question.

"Yes, it was great. The scenery was gorgeous. And going to another country was really fun."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, then. I'll be in my room." After a small smile, he turned and walked away.

Not long after I'd put all my new things away, Tanya and her family were ready to leave.

Following a few goodbyes and promises to see each other soon, they quietly slipped out the door and started down the winding driveway.

The others were about to take up their own interests, when I turned to them. "I'd like to talk about something with _everyone_ before you all leave," I announced.

They all turned to me, and the enormity of my impending request hit me. I was really going to do this. I was going to ask to be set loose on the teenage human world.

"Sit down, please." I motioned to the couches.

I walked to center of the couches, standing behind the coffee table. All of the others sat except for Edward. He stood rigid behind the sofa opposite me, his arms crossed over his chest. Obviously he knew what was coming.

"Well." I suddenly felt ill, but I pressed on. "I've been thinking about bringing this up for a while. No offense to anyone, but we all know that I've been cooped up here a lot, and I think that I should socialize more. Maybe it would help me remember something. And since I don't want to bring my situation to the authorities…"

"Yes, we've discussed this theory, Bella," Carlisle said. "Do you have an idea as to _how_ you'd like to socialize?"

"Well, y-yes," I stammered. "I do…but I'm not sure how everyone will feel about it."

"What is it, dear?" Esme asked. "Whatever it is, I'm sure we'll find a way to make it possible, or at least to make some part of it possible."

I walked the few steps to the coffee table and sunk to the floor in front of it. "Well…I've thought a lot about this. I don't want to alert the police about my lost status. And you've all been willing to help with that… but I need to get out." I turned to Carlisle, the most important sticking point. "I obviously can't go to work with you. And since Esme stays at home most of the time, and I don't want to go out there alone, there's really only one alternative…" Alice rose from her position next to Jasper and joined me on the floor. She wrapped her arm around me, and I grabbed it and squeezed gently. After a deep breath that was meant to calm, but did nothing of the sort, I spoke again. "Going to school."

A few people began speaking at once. Their voices blurred, and I couldn't understand anything. Alice held one finger up to me when I was about to interrupt. I looked to the sofa across the table and to Edward standing behind it, scowling but not speaking; his eyes darted from family member to family member. Maybe his frown was a good sign.

"Please be quiet," Carlisle said after it was apparent that the ruckus would not die down without intervention. "Let's discuss this rationally. Bella, you see no other alternative."

I shook my head. "I'm sure there's something else I could do. But I think I'd fit in easiest there." I gestured to myself. "I look the part. Besides, it would be easy to come up with some cover story…You and Esme already say you've adopted or fostered the others, why couldn't we go along those lines?"

He nodded. "I can see you given this some thought."

"I need to do something. I need to find myself." _No matter how much I _want_ to stay._

"Do you think it's safe to allow her to interact with the human children here?" Rosalie asked. "She's clearly not like us, and I don't know if her presence will alert them to our…differences."

"I think that her presence would actually do the exact opposite," Jasper interjected. Shock hit me. I hadn't expected him to stick up for me. "Think about it this way. She's exactly like them, and she's not threatening in any way. They'd be more likely to accept her and us by extension."

"What about the Qui--"

"I don't see any problems with them," Alice interrupted whatever Rosalie was going to say. "We'll meet with them should that be necessary."

I grinned in thanks. "So, maybe there should be a vote of sorts," I suggested. "You know, to see how everyone feels about this."

"If that's what you want," Carlisle said. "But the decision is really up to you, Bella. Whatever you decide, we'll make possible…within reason, of course."

"I understand," I answered. "But I think I'd like to know everyone's opinion on the matter, anyway."

"Of course," Carlisle responded.

"I'd like to start with you, Carlisle. If that's okay?"

"It is," he said.

"Wait!" Edward surprised me by his interruption. "Rosalie has brought up our safety, but has anyone considered Bella's safety?"

"My safety?"

"Yes," Edward said. "_Your_ safety. We're often the center of attention. Being with us, one of us, would put you in the same spotlight." I grimaced when he turned to Carlisle. "She'd be new anyway, bringing unwanted attention. But now you're adding in the element of her being a part of the elusive Cullen family. Why don't we just ask the children of Forks over for a party? It'll be far too much attention."

"I can handle that," I stated boldly, hoping to cover my nerves. "No one's having a party. Besides, how long can that last?"

"On top of that," he continued, "we don't know where she came from. What would happen if she has someone dangerous looking for her? Everyone in town would know where to find her. She'd become an easy target."

"We can take care of that," Emmett said, flexing his left bicep. "Who's going to be a match for the seven of us? We'd all defend her against any harm."

"Maybe it wouldn't be against all of us," Edward agreed. "If someone got to her before we could intervene…she's so fragile."

"All right," I said, interrupting the rest of Edward's speech on my frailties. "I'll take it that Edward votes no. Is that right?"

He nodded and looked away.

"Fine." I looked at Carlisle. "Okay, it's back to you."

"I vote yes," he said. "I think it's a perfect way to allow you time outside of this house. And what better way to socialize than to be literally surrounded by others in a somewhat controlled environment."

"Thank you, Carlisle. Alice?"

"Yes, of course, Bella. It could be so much fun."

I smiled in response.

"Esme?" I asked, pointing to her.

"I agree with Carlisle," she answered. "You really need to get out more. So, yes."

I nodded and beamed at her.

"Jasper?" I shift my attention to him.

"Yes."

I already knew the next answer, but I asked anyway. "Rosalie?"

"No. I think it will put us all, including you, in jeopardy. It's not for the best."

"Emmett?"

"Of course," Emmett said. "I'd love to have you there. I'd get to play big brother and keep all the little human boys away from you." He winked and smirked, no doubt imagining that very prospect.

I rolled my eyes. "Everyone's getting protective, huh? I'm not going so that you can frighten the kids of Forks, Emmett."

"Of course you're not. That's just a bonus. Newton or Crowley might be fun."

I couldn't help but laugh at his conspiratorial tone. "I'm sure you scare them enough just by being you." Almost everyone joined me in laughter. "So everyone but Rosalie and Edward is okay with me going to Forks High?"

"I've already got the necessary documents in the works," Alice chirped. I guessed the others didn't know this fact. "We will need one thing for Bella, though. A last name."

"I guess I could make one up…but it might just be easier to take one of yours." I looked to each of them. "Obviously for the adoption story to pan out, I can't use Cullen or Hale. What else is there?"

"Mine was Evenson, when I was married," Esme provided. "But I wouldn't want you to take that. There are too many bad memories associated with that name. My unmarried name was Platt. I don't think you should take that, either. My parents weren't necessarily bad people, but they weren't the most loving."

"Thank you, Esme. I won't use either, if it bothers you." I turned to her right. "Jasper?"

"Whitlock," he answered. "You could use that, if you wish. But it's been used recently."

"Okay, that's one for the list. Do you know yours, Alice?"

"No," she answered.

"Oh," I said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she replied. "I really shouldn't miss what I've never had."

"I guess. I'm sorry all the same. It seems unfair."

"Thank you." She curved the corners of her lips slightly, though her eyes didn't move.

"What was yours, Emmett?"

"McCarty," he answered. "I'd love you to take my name."

I looked from his innocent face to Rosalie's surly one. "We'll see, Em."

_Now onto the one I really want_.

"And yours, Edward?"

"Masen," he responded. His voice was cold and clinical, so I couldn't understand whether he had really wanted to tell me. I wasn't sure why he wouldn't, so I just chalked that up to his confusing nature and temperamental moods.

"Okay. I guess I have a lot to think about. I'm not sure which way to go, yet. But thanks for listening to me and answering honestly." I stood, using the coffee table to balance myself. "I'm going to go upstairs. I'll see you all in the morning."

* * *

As always, thank you so much for reading. And for those who review, you make my day many times over. I love each and every review. Until you write something, you can't understand how important they are. It's wonderful to know when someone enjoys something you've written.

The thread: ?f=33&t=7526

I post teasers and may give hints as to what's going on.

I have joined forces with nowforruin, author of Two Forks and Roman Candle, and bookgeek80, beta extraordinaire. We will be offering a three-shot, with the possibility for continuation, for the Fandom Gives Back auction. We have created the user nowforgeekbs. Look for us on FFnet and twitter


	14. Stress

A|N:

Thank you for reviewing LC! I fell behind on responses, but I will respond and I appreciate ALL of them. I was going to reply to all reviews before posting this chapter, but I'm sure you'd rather a chapter first.

As always, if anyone is still reading, you rock.

My permanent betas are wonderful. Thanks so much, Strider and jfka06. Since jfka06 is currently on hiatus, the lovely BookGeek80 has stepped in.

My apologies for taking so long to get this out. Real life has kicked by butt. Hopefully, those issues should be sorted out soon.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

* * *

Chapter 14 -Stress

I woke up later than usual the next day, surprised to find myself alone when I arrived in the living room. Strangely, no one was in the family room or kitchen either—for people who didn't eat, I always seemed to find someone in the kitchen.

After I quickly glanced through the large rear windows, my stomach decided to inform me that I was hungry. The loud growl would have been embarrassing had I not been alone.

"Sounds like it's time to eat."

_Of _all_ people._

Joking, I turned to him my eyes wide and my hands clasped over my throat. "E-eat?" I said, adding a slight waver to my voice—I was proud of my acting job. From the look of horror on his face and the stiff way he held his frame as he stood at the entrance, I'd clearly offended him. Pride quickly turned to chagrin. "Kidding. I was just kidding."

"That's _not_ funny." His tension eased but he was still noticeably uncomfortable.

"It was meant to be funny," I said, walking over to him. "_You_ just need to find a sense of humor."

He quirked an eyebrow.

"If you can't find humor in every situation, what kind of life do you have? You just kind of exist, like floating around in nothingness. How _boring_." I held out my hand to him, hoping he'd take it in his.

He gently placed his hand around mine, and instantly, I heard his muted thoughts.

_I'm sorry I upset you._

He lifted one corner of his mouth in silent acceptance, but no matter how I tried, I couldn't make out the actual words of his thoughts.

_Do you forgive me?_

He shook his head. _Bella, there's nothing to forgive. You've accepted us so fully; it's astounding sometimes. I wonder if it's in _your_ best interest, though._

I pulled my hand from his, annoyed at myself… and him. "Don't talk like that."

He started to interrupt, but I wouldn't let him, determined to set this right.

"No. I _don't_ want to hear it. You guys are the best thing that's happened to me." I added the "that I remember" silently, folding my arms in front of me.

"I disagree. But I see you don't want to discuss this further. Let's talk about something else. What do you want for breakfast? Eggs? Bacon?"

"Not really," I answered. He responded with a frown. "Too heavy. I'd just like some cereal and milk."

"I don't think you eat enough." His protective nature was flaring again.

Though I liked him feeling the need to take care of me, I couldn't let him know that. The desire for independence was much too strong.

"I'm fine," I protested walking over to the cabinets to grab a bowl and some cereal. "I eat when I'm hungry."

After pouring out the cereal, I smothered it in milk and made my way over to the kitchen table. Edward stood in the middle of the floor with a strange look on his face. It seemed like he was trying to memorize everything I did. Normally I would have found his attention unnerving, but today I liked it.

When I sat down, he followed and sat across from me. "Does that taste good?" His nose was wrinkled like he smelled something bad.

"Good? I guess so. I wouldn't say it's the best thing I've ever tasted, but it's good enough."

"You have so many choices available to you. Why settle for something you don't like that much?"

"I could ask you the same. About the last part at least."

"You know it's not the same thing." He looked stern.

I didn't see how his life was as bad as he seemed to think. How was what he did so different from a human eating meat? Sure, I didn't kill the animals myself, but the outcome was pretty much the same. I didn't want to argue this point with him, though.

"No, I guess it isn't." I looked around, searching for something to spark a change in subject. "Where is everyone this morning?"

"Morning?" he asked. "It's almost afternoon."

I rolled my eyes at him. "And where are they?"

"They all went hunting."

"Hunting?" I asked. "Didn't Alice just go with Tanya?"

His only response was a shoulder shrug.

"Fine. Don't tell me. I'm sure she has her reasons." I tried to come up with one, but drew blank.

"I think she just wanted to be with Jasper. Sometimes, the couples like to go out together… for some alone time."

"Ah." I was not touching that comment with a ten foot pole.

After breakfast, we watched some old reruns, commenting on the clothes. Of course, that lead to a discussion on Edward's fashion choices throughout the decades. I wasn't surprised to find that he really hadn't fallen victim to any of the crazy trends, instead opting for classic yet stylish clothing, much like he wore today.

Honestly, if I thought about it, I couldn't imagine him in the psychedelic patterns of the seventies, or the neon colors of the eighties.

"I think neon would have looked good on you," he joked.

"I was probably ten or eleven. _Everything_ looks good at that age."

He reached out and placed a rogue lock of hair behind my ear, his cold knuckle brushing lightly against my skin. I hadn't noticed that we'd come so close, almost touching as we sat, and I leaned into his unexpected contact. I allowed myself to soak in the sensation, reveling in the pleasant warmth that spread throughout my body.

"Everything still looks good on you." He smiled, and all I could see in his eyes was honesty. It surprised and alarmed me in a way. I liked thinking of myself as average; it gave me the ability to fade into the background. But obviously, he didn't think that way.

"I think you've got _that_ backwards."

He shook his head. "I don't."

We sat for a few minutes, each struggling within our own mind. I wondered if he'd care if I rested my head on his shoulder. I knew he wouldn't be soft, like another human would be, but I longed to be near to him, to touch him. Just feeling him pressed against me would be paradise.

I was about to make my move, when he abruptly stood. Sadly, in my hesitation, I'd lost my opportunity.

"Do you want to play chess?" he asked hesitantly.

_Chess? Chess? Talk about a _safe, boring _game._

"You want to play _chess_?" I looked away, trying to find an excuse to refuse. "I… I don't think I know how." I really didn't want him to sit across from me; I wanted to sit next to him, maybe even cuddle up to him.

"I'll teach you." He was overly eager.

I gave in, and we spent the better part of three hours discussing the rules and then playing a few games. Really they weren't games as much as massacres. The first match I lost in less than five moves. I hadn't expected to win, but it was still disheartening.

"Do you want to do something else?" he asked, finally acknowledging my lack of enthusiasm. "We haven't played the piano in some time."

"I really should go upstairs and take a shower. I haven't done that yet. I must smell awful."

"I don't think you do," he said.

I laughed. "Very funny. I'll be back down later."

"See you then."

When I got to the stairs, I turned to see what he was doing. He was already back on the couch, watching some show. I couldn't see the picture, and he had the sound turned down so low that I couldn't make out what was being said.

As I made my way upstairs, my thoughts turned to the same place they always seemed to be, torn between Edward and finding out information about myself. As time passed, I found myself wanting to learn more about him than I wanted to know about myself. I wanted to surround myself with him and forget about my other life—I was happy here.

Even as those thoughts came, a voice in my head began to question whether that was the best course of action. _What if you're needed?_ it asked. _What if someone depends on you?_ I pushed the questions aside. I couldn't worry about that at this moment; it wasn't like I could help anyone now anyway. I could barely take care of myself.

Still no matter how I tried, I could not stop the alternating images of an elderly bed-ridden woman or an infant left alone in a room, unable to fend for themselves, from haunting me.

I didn't rush during or after my shower. When I stepped into my room, I was shocked by how dark it was. I'd used the light in the bathroom, and it had masked the time of day. It was clearly _much_ later than I had realized. The alarm clock on my bedside table said that it was nearly six.

To my surprise, Edward wasn't in the living room when I arrived downstairs. I was thirsty and hungry, so I walked into the kitchen.

Upon opening the door, I couldn't help but giggle. The sight before me was both comical and endearing. The countertop was covered in patches of flour and other ingredients for some sort of pastry-type confection. Dirty bowls and pots were strewn about the usually spotless countertop. A recipe book balanced precariously on a bowl off to the side of the disaster area.

I saved the best for last, because there, amongst the wreckage, stood Edward, a sheepish smile on his otherwise perfect face. I briefly wondered how the kitchen could be such a mess, yet he was immaculate. But before that thought had time to process fully, another giggle overtook me.

"What's so funny?" he asked, trying to grumble but sounding more amused than angry.

"I would have never thought that _you_ would make a mess like _this_," I answered. "You're always so put together and… I mean, even your CDs are arranged in a specific order. Then I come downstairs to this." I gestured to the counter, laughter bubbling up again. "What are you doing?"

"Cooking. I would've thought that much was obvious... and you weren't supposed to come down for another twenty minutes. I would have had everything cleaned up by then."

"Ha. Ha. Very funny. I _know_ that you're cooking…but why?"

He shook his head. "I thought you'd like something to eat."

"I can fend for myself, Edward," I laughed. "I'm not _completely_ helpless. Besides, I think I'd make a better job of it than you."

"Of that I am certain."

I laughed again. "What are you making?"

"For dinner, I've made butterflied flank steak stuffed with prosciutto, provolone, and roasted red peppers." He sounded like he had read that from a menu somewhere, listing the items with no intonation in his voice.

"Sounds yummy."

He shrugged. "To you."

"What's all this for?" I asked, gesturing to the white-speckled counter top. "That's not steak."

"No." he looked to the ground. "That was for apple tarts. Out of all the dessert recipes I could find, they seemed the least revolting. I can almost remember them from my human life. So…I must have liked them, and I hoped you would, too."

"I'm sure I will," I said brightly, walking over to thank him. Before I had time to process my own thoughts or actions, I had wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him into a hug.

_What am I doing?_

As I was about to pull away and hang my head in embarrassment, his arms wound around my shoulders, holding me close to his chest. The sound that escaped my lips was low and throaty, almost like a purr. He quickly made a similar, though somewhat more impressive sound, and his chest vibrated against my cheek. The difference in our responses should have frightened me. His was so much more animalistic, so primal. Instead, I felt safe and…aroused.

I snuggled closer to him, rubbing my cheek against his shirt. Even though his chest was hard, it felt so right to nestle into him and allow his scent to overtake my senses. His one hand released my shoulders and came to rest in my hair. His fingers massaged my scalp, as calm settled over me. Something touched to top of my head…his lips? My heart swelled with that thought, and I groaned, breaking the spell that had been placed over us. The fairytale was over, and in the blink of an eye, he had released me and was ten feet across the kitchen.

"Dinner's ready," he said, his voice sounding rough. Well, as rough as velvet can be.

"Can I help with anything?" I asked awkwardly.

"No. I'd rather you sit at the table and let me serve you."

"Okay."

I nodded and walked to the table, still a little unsteady from the Edward-induced haze. I thought I heard him chuckle, but I didn't want to add to my humiliation, so I didn't turn to see.

After sitting at the table, Edward brought my dinner over. Of course, it somehow looked like it belonged in a food magazine—the perfection at everything was becoming nauseating. The steak sat slightly off to the side, split open, the stuffing visible enough to look highly appetizing. Over the meat was a drizzle of some sauce. Next to the steak, sat two side dishes of vegetables, cooked to perfection. It smelled heavenly, and my eyes closed as I breathed in the scent.

"Smells good?" He was trying to make light conversation, so I would follow suit.

"You have no idea."

"Not for that, I don't." He gestured to the plate before me. "Are you going to eat?"

"Are you going to watch me?"

He laughed. "Perhaps."

I tried to mimic him by raising one eyebrow—I'd seen him do it so many times before. Again, he laughed.

"Are you going to eat?" he repeated.

"Perhaps." I couldn't resist giggling.

I cut off a piece off the steak and lifted it to my mouth, his intense gaze unnerving me so much that I swallowed loudly. I tried to take another bite, but couldn't handle the scrutiny.

"Do you need to stare at me while I eat? I know you don't understand how I like this stuff, but still…"

I looked up to him. He didn't seem disgusted like I'd expected. In fact, he seemed to be enjoying watching me for some inexplicable reason.

"It's kind of uncomfortable. Like you're analyzing my every move or something."

He looked away. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"I just feel like a zoo animal at feeding time."

He looked directly into my eyes. "I won't stare. I promise."

"Thanks." I smiled at him. "This is delicious, by the way."

_Could this man get any better?_

"Good. I'm glad you like it."

"How did someone who doesn't eat learn how to cook like _this_?" I was intrigued.

He grin beamed broadly. "Food Network."

The others were gone the entire night, and I enjoyed spending some time with just Edward. When I was with him, I could forget about my fears and worries—nothing else mattered in our little bubble. It was pleasant, though probably foolhardy, to ignore the uneasiness that filled my mind when I thought about my past. Instead, I opted to ignore the negative thoughts.

We watched a television show that Edward said he'd heard about often in the heads of the children at school. We spent most of the time joking about the superficiality of the characters and wondering how anyone could find it interesting. It was one step below a soap opera or bad melodrama.

"That was horrible," I said after the show had finished. "I don't think I could sit through another five minutes, let alone a full episode."

He laughed. "It was terrible. Is there anything else you'd rather do?"

I looked across the room to the beautiful instrument on the raised platform. "You haven't played anything in a while. Can you… I mean, would you like to play something?"

A huge grin plastered across his face.

"Of course." He stood and held his hand grabbing onto mine. _Anything in particular._

He pulled me to my feet, and I left my hand in his long enough to answer his question. _I can't think of anything off the top of my head. Why don't you pick something?_

We walked to the piano, and he pulled a thick book from storage. "Shall we go with something from this?"

He held up the book and the familiar green cover of the book we'd bought weeks prior–had it only been weeks-met my eyes.

"Sure. Why not?"

"I want you to pick a song this time." He looked down at me, and his eyes were so open, I couldn't refuse.

I quickly opened to the alphabetic listing of the contents. After a quick scan, I decided on a song called "Only the Good Die Young." I was sure that I remembered it being one I liked.

It was a fairly upbeat song. But I could swear there was a sexual overtone to it. It seemed like it was about a boy trying to convince a girl to sleep with him. It mentioned many aspects of religion, but the outcome seemed to be that the boy wanted the girl. I hadn't expected that.

Although the song was entertaining, I felt awkward as Edward played it. I tried hard not to fantasize that he could want the same from me. It was difficult hearing the words pour from his mouth. I found myself dreaming about running my hand beneath his shirt, gliding my fingertips along his cold, hard, muscular chest.

When the song came to an abrupt end, I attempted to rearrange my expression from one of awe and desire to just one of wonder—let him think I was impressed by his musical ability.

"Your turn," I said, forcing a smile on my face.

"To what?" His eyebrows knit together.

"Pick out a song, silly." I hoped my attempt to keep it light wasn't failing.

"Right." He grabbed a couple of pages and randomly chose a song called "If I Only had the Words (to Tell You)." His eyes widened at the choice, and he swallowed loudly. He reached up to choose another song, but I sighed and shook my head.

"No?" he asked.

"No, that's cheating. You have to go with the first song you choose."

He pressed his lips together and nodded. After placing the book on the stand, he began playing the piece. It was very heavy on the piano in the beginning. But as he began to sing the lyrics, I wished I'd allowed him to choose another song.

The song spoke of professing love for another person and how that person wouldn't understand. My heart wrenched with each lyric, especially the line stating how the singer knew that they couldn't change the other's feelings. It was a song that mimicked the yearning I felt for him to know and understand how I felt. Just like the narrator, I didn't have the words to explain. The ache in the center of my chest throbbed as the song progressed, and at the end, I was barely preventing myself from crying.

When he turned to me and saw the look on my face, he reached out and ran his thumb along my cheek. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"Fine," I sniffed, bringing my fists up to rub my eyes. "Just tired, I guess."

"Tired?" He laughed. "You slept half the day away. How can you be tired?"

I pulled my hands away from my face. "Shopping with Tanya and Alice was exhausting." I infused my voice with overly done drama.

"Ah, yes. She packs a punch, doesn't she?"

"Which one?" I smiled at him.

"I was thinking of Alice, but they both do, actually."

"You're not kidding." I forced a fake yawn, but I was sure he saw right through it. "I'm going to go upstairs to read a little before bed."

His face fell, and he removed his hand. My face warmed quickly, and I missed his cool touch.

"You can join me…if you want."

He shook his head. "I really should clean the kitchen."

"That'll take you ten minutes at _most_."

"I have to take care of other things. You go upstairs, unwind and then go to sleep."

"Good night, then, Edward. See you in the morning."

"Pleasant dreams," he said, and then got up and walked to the kitchen as I made my way to the stairs.

New Year's Eve passed without much fanfare. I expected Alice to play it up a little. She seemed to be the kind to throw a party given the smallest reason, but she didn't do much of anything. Instead she and Jasper decided to stay downstairs with Edward and me.

I asked Edward why no one was interested in celebrating. His response shocked me, though it made sense when I thought about it.

"When you've seen as many as we have, the New Year isn't quite as exciting." He shrugged nonchalantly, but there was a sorrow in his eyes.

"Well, this is my first," I said. "The first that I remember, at least. So, I'd like to do something… traditional."

He raised his eyebrows in an unspoken question.

"You know, some cheesy thing that people do every year."

And that was how he suggested watching a crystal globe travel down a pole in Times Square.

So when midnight arrived, I watched the ball drop in New York. Even though the large city was three hours earlier than Washington, they put it on time delay. Watching the countdown to the New Year had sounded interesting when Edward mentioned it, but in all honesty, it wasn't. Instead it was quick, and odd, a lot of build up for something that took only a minute. I couldn't believe that millions of people sat glued to their television sets to watch an orb glide thirty feet down a flagpole.

I couldn't even imagine myself wanting to be a part of that crowd, looking ridiculous and stoned, all while on TV.

Rather than pay attention to the show, my thoughts were constantly on Edward. He was always near enough to touch but far enough that if I tried, I'd literally be throwing myself at him. A few times, he seemed to inch closer, but he'd sigh and the next time I looked, he was as far as he had been prior. Once or twice, I'd felt something pull gently on my hair but when I'd looked, nothing was ever there.

A few random times throughout the night, Alice would giggle when absolutely nothing funny was said on the show. Each of her outbursts was followed by a huff next to me.

"You know that's annoying," I said after their third interaction.

"You get used to it," Jasper said, suppressing laughter. "This behavior is almost constant."

"Sure." I rolled my eyes and returned my attention to the TV.

My concentration on the show was tenuous, at best. The glances and touches shared between Alice and Jasper didn't help sway my desire to be closer to Edward. There little moments were as heated as any I'd ever seen between Emmett and Rosalie. It made me slightly embarrassed as I realized that I was jealous—they got to do those things while I sat so close to the person I wanted to kiss, and he didn't care. Still I strove to not notice them.

The area of the city where the ball was to drop seemed familiar, but I'm sure anyone who had seen a picture of the city's hub would have identified the luminescent Coke sign and tkts booth.

The bustling streets and blazing lights of the lively center were both garish and comforting. Hundreds of thousands of people flocked to the city streets for this event, all to be herded like cattle into fenced off areas.

I wondered why anyone would subject themselves to that. Spending time at an enormous party might be fun, but it also seemed too oppressive and far too cold to be out, pressed against other people who were probably inebriated, high, or both. I could imagine myself wasting my time scanning the crowd for pickpockets or worse, rather than enjoying the atmosphere.

"Well, _that's_ not what I'd been imagining," I said after the ball had descended its post. My words were barely discernible as I yawned and stretched my arms above my head.

"Did you expect more or less?" Edward asked, slightly amused.

"Um…I'm not sure. It was kind of anticlimactic."

"Yeah, it's not much," Alice said. "But it's something to do." She turned to Jasper, rising from her perch on the arm of the sofa. "Going to give me a New Year's kiss?"

She quickly flitted to his side, and the two embraced, staring into one another's eyes. The contact was so intimate, the moment so private, that I had to look away.

I ached for that type of connection with someone, especially the someone sitting next to me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, willing my hormones to calm. Living in a teenage body had its drawbacks sometimes, and I hated how my companions could tell every minute change in my heart rate. I wanted the man next to me, and it was becoming hard not to tell or show him. Of course, Jasper's talent didn't help either. He'd just broadcast all of my emotions to Edward, anyway.

Being human among super humans was a _huge_ disadvantage.

I searched my mind, trying to think of something simple and safe to say, but the only thoughts that came were inane. "But the ball is pretty, I guess. All sparkly. Kind of like a full moon...falling from the sky…at midnight. Or maybe more like the sun, it's so bright. But, then we don't see the sun shining at midnight. So, that really doesn't work."

_Someone _please_ say something to stop my mouth from running._

"So you like a little flash?" Alice asked, raising her eyebrows in mock shock as she twisted in Jasper's arms.

"I guess so," I hedged. "It's beautiful the way it shimmers and sparkles. But it must be really hard to have that much crystal out in a dirty city and keep it clean so it twinkles in the light when it's dropped."

"You like things that spark—"

"I'm sure they have workers to take care of that," Edward said, preventing Alice's question from being asked.

"I suppose. But still…" At that point another yawn overtook me. "It's a lot of work. Now, I know you guys don't sleep, but I should get to bed. I'm getting tired."

_Plus I want to get away from the lovey-doveyness._

They said good night to me, with Alice calling, "Sweet dreams," as I reached the landing.

As I turned to the next flight of stairs, I heard a loud crash. I quickly looked back down to the first floor, but everything was as I had left it before, except Alice was rocking with laughter from her seat on the couch.

"Everything all right?" I called to them.

"Yes, fine." Edward answered, a fake smile on his face. "Good night."

Something had happened but they clearly weren't going to tell me.

"Night." I waved shaking my head. "Guess you won't tell." I then walked up the stairs.

_Crazy vampires._

After much discussion, we'd decided that I wouldn't begin school on the first day back. It would be better to allow the others to lay the groundwork for my back story. As a result, I was set to begin my high school career on January eighteenth, a Tuesday.

The few weeks between my decision and my actual start were filled with preparations. I had to learn all of the things that would make a high school education possible. I was sure I'd be fine with some classes—English and Government would be pretty easy— but Trigonometry, Spanish and Biology scared me. Luckily, Alice and Edward had both offered to help.

First on the list was Trig. Alice sat with me one afternoon to assess my level of understanding.

"So, Trig is math based solely on triangles," she said.

"Okay," I responded, forcing my mind to remember something. The elastic balloon I'd envisioned holding back my memories just stretched, rather than breaking. Still, I heard a faint voice whisper a familiar concept. "I think I remember something about that, and some three sound type thing for the angles."

"So Ka Toe-a."

"Huh?" I asked.

"So Ka Toe-a," she repeated. "Here hand me that paper and I'll show you."

She grabbed a nearby pencil, and took the paper from my hand. After drawing a perfect right triangle, her hand floated over the paper as she added numbers and formulas. At the bottom, she wrote "SOH CAH TOA."

The voice in my head became louder more insistent. _Opposite… Adjacent… Hypotenuse_. Little bits were coming back, and I was elated.

"It begins with angles and side measurement," she explained, cutting out the other voice. "So there's the Pythagorean theorem. Do you remember that one?"

_A squared plus B squared equals C squared_, called the voice. _Almost everything depends on this principle._

"Yes, yes. I do." I was amazed to know something, pleased with myself for not having forgotten everything. "That's the basis for everything following."

"Yep!" she exclaimed. "So you remember some stuff. That's great."

She went further into explanation, leaving me behind slightly when she described the law of sines and a few other Trigonometric identities, but I mostly remembered everything.

I was pleased to have one less hurdle in my reintroduction to the human world. We worked for a few days, bringing my math knowledge up to speed before moving on to Spanish.

Though Alice was knowledgeable enough in this area, Edward was fluent in many more languages. He had begun to list some of the languages he knew the day prior. But after about fifteen, I started to tune him out, just listening to the rhythmic and melodic sound of his voice. It didn't take him long to see the dazed look in my eyes, and he had quickly changed the subject.

"Bella?" he asked, an amused smirk on his lips.

I must have looked like an idiot, with my gaze focusing solely on his mouth.

_I really need to stop doing that._

My head shake brought me back to the present. "Wow! You speak so many languages." My confidence from Alice's previous lesson waned as I became more aware of Edward's vast knowledge. I'd never be able to learn that much.

"Yes," he answered, raising and lowering his left shoulder. "I guess I've had a lot of free time. It's been a long time since I've slept, and the others are...occupied at night…" His eyes seemed far away, and I could read the loneliness he had felt over the years. It must be hard being the only single one in a family of matched pairs.

I suddenly had a desire to learn more about him. "So you took up learning languages at night?"

"Among other things," he answered cryptically.

"What are you working on now while I'm sleeping? Are you learning another language?"

He looked taken aback. "Hmmm. Not another language…"

"But you are learning something new?"

"I guess you could say that."

He was being purposely evasive.

"Oh, that's okay. You don't need to tell me. I didn't mean to pry." I was certain my cheeks were blazing red. I'd obviously pushed the subject too far.

"No, you're not prying," he said softly. "I've just started a new…project." He hesitated strangely on the last word. "Learning more about a new subject. Trying to figure it out."

I sensed he wouldn't explain anything else. I enjoyed my privacy as much as anyone else. Since I rarely got it in a house full of vampires, I figured I'd leave him his tiny bit—even if his talent allowed the others none. I couldn't quell my curiosity completely, though. "Will you tell me more when you've figured it out?"

"Of course," he said, smiling, slightly amused. "It may be a while. This subject appears to be _particularly_ difficult."

"You're brilliant," I said honestly. "I'm sure you'll learn all about it in record time."

He laughed and ran his thumb across my cheek. I reveled in the sensation. He'd been touching me more often since Tanya and her family had visited. Sometimes, he appeared pained or conflicted, but I selfishly didn't care why—he was touching me. I also didn't understand what had changed, but I again, I didn't care.

"So, we start Spanish tomorrow?"

"Yes, tomorrow." His smile faded, no longer reaching the rest of his face. "We'll have school, so it won't be until later in the afternoon."

I had forgotten that they were returning to school so soon. My heart dropped as I realized that my long days with Edward were over. He'd be gone when I woke up in the morning.

"I didn't realize it was so soon."

"Yes," he said. "But you'll start coming along in a few weeks. Then you'll see us so much, that you'll be sick of us."

"I know," I said. "That's not the problem. And I doubt I would get sick of you." I whispered the last part.

I knew he heard by his following sigh, and I hoped I hadn't said too much. It seemed that when I slipped and hinted about my feelings for him, he became angry or upset. I wasn't sure if I had set him off again.

I guessed I hadn't, because instead of giving me that pained look he got, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against his chest. This was the first true hug we'd ever shared that he'd initiated. The contented sigh that left my lips was embarrassing, but I pushed that aside—he was holding me, nothing else should matter. I snuggled into his chest, breathing deeply, enjoying his perfect scent. I knew it was just another one of the lures, and I allowed myself to be attracted.

All too soon, he pulled back.

"No," I whispered, and he stopped his retreat, looking down at me. His eyes were searching mine for something, but I wasn't sure what.

_I love you._

My own admission, even though it was only in my thoughts, caught me off guard,and I thanked my lucky stars that I hadn't been touching his skin. If he had any idea of my true feelings, I would have been mortified.

"Okay," I said nervously. "I've got to get dinner going."

"Yes, we don't want you fainting again…and I've got to ready for your lesson tomorrow."

"All right. Um, see you later."

I walked down the stairs internally chastising myself. Was getting closer the smart path to choose? I was already too close. Allowing myself to partake of the forbidden fruit time and again would only break me when I was no longer able. Yet, I couldn't deny the pull, and with each taste, I wanted a little more.

When they arrived back from school the next day, Edward and Alice came to my room immediately.

"It appears that your 'story' is floating around school already," Alice said happily. "It was buzzing around today. All the children spoke about was the newest 'Cullen' girl. You're all the gossip."

"Great," I groaned. "Please tell me that being the center of attention won't last forever."

Edward raised one eyebrow.

"I can handle it," I stated. "I said I could. I just want to see how long it'll go on."

"I can't tell that," Alice said. "That decision hasn't been made yet."

"Yay!" I said sarcastically. I turned to Edward rolling my eyes. "Are we going to start Spanish now?"

"Yes," he answered. "I'll get some of the basic books to start off." He dashed out of the room and was back within seconds. A pile of books was balanced on his left arm; his other arm looped through the back of the chair from his desk. After placing the chair on the floor and all but one book down on my desk, he said, "Let's start with this one."

"I'll see you later," Alice said, then strolled from the room.

He put a purple book with a star-shaped piñata on the cover in front of me and sat down, inching the chair closer. I'd noticed that he'd allowed himself to get closer to me recently. Though I wanted it, I also fought with myself—if he kept getting closer, how would I be able to give him up when I went back to my real life? My heart ached at that thought; I'd have to go back to my previous life eventually, and I was already far too attached.

I pushed the negative thoughts away. Having him close to me was what I wanted in this moment. I would deal with the consequences when they came.

Amazingly, I was comfortable with Spanish, able to answer the questions in the first few chapters easily. I was actually becoming pleased with myself. I still remembered this after so many years.

"I think I'm good with this Spanish stuff," I said, sounding a little proud.

"It appears that way. So…" He picked up the book and threw it behind him. "I don't think you're going to need this."

I turned to look at the book, now a mess on the floor behind me. When I faced forward again, he was much closer than I had expected, much closer than I'd intended, but still not as close as I wanted him to be. I moved toward him, needing to be near, my eyes never leaving his mouth.

Suddenly, my lips were unbearably dry, so I had to moisten them.

He released a breath, and the sweet scent enveloped me, turning my thoughts to mush. One of us moved, I didn't know who, and suddenly we were much closer. I breathed deeply, closing my eyes and filling my senses.

This was right.

This was _so_ right.

Cool breath spread across my face.

Strong hands clasped around my upper arms.

"Bella?" His voice was farther away, breathy.

"Mmmm?" I moaned, not embarrassed in the least.

"Open your eyes."

I did as he said, and noticed that he was now an arm's length away. I missed him.

"We should get started on Biology." Though his eyes were excited, his words were firm.

My head reeled as I tried to gather myself. What had I just been about to do? How could I have even considered trying that? Kissing him? What was wrong with me?

"Um…yeah." My awkward words increased my mortification. He'd never showed any interest in me besides that of a concerned family member, and I was practically mauling him in my bedroom.

Thoughts spun in circles, crushing my previous good mood as the vice around my mind tightened with each revolution. He'd been right to stop me before I made a complete fool of myself, even if I would have actually enjoyed the trip into idiocy.

He released my arms, and I scooted away, turning to the task at hand…high school science.

Though I wasn't as familiar with this material as I had been with the others, I still knew enough to only need a refresher. We spent the next few days working on this subject. It was comforting to know I wouldn't stand out as the class idiot when I started school.

The Friday before I was meant to start school, I was surprised to see that both Carlisle and Esme were sitting in the living room reading when I came down the stairs. Normally, Carlisle would have been at work by that point.

"Good morning," I called.

"Good morning, sweetheart." Esme smiled at me.

"Bella," Carlisle said, "after you've had breakfast, I'd like to speak to you about a few things that need to be settled before you start school next week." His voice was calm, but there seemed to be an underlying tension there that I didn't understand.

"Okay, sure." I shrugged and walked into the kitchen. After grabbing a cereal bar from the pantry, I quickly returned to the living room.

"What's up?" I asked, sitting on the couch nearest them.

"Well, Bella…" He looked at Esme; she grabbed his hand and squeezed. "I know you've not wanted many tests done, and the basic blood work came back fine. But, we will need to forge a medical past. I would feel better if we could ensure you've had the necessary vaccinations and an examination."

"Shots?"

He nodded.

"Okay." I gulped. "Um… what kind of examination?"

"I think a simple check up would be fine."

I was nervous to ask my next question, but it seemed like the right time, so I trudged on anyway. "Carlisle, can you tell if someone has… given birth by doing a check up?"

His eyebrows raised. "Do you think you may have a child?"

"I don't know." I looked at the floor. "But stuff like that's been on my mind... a lot. What if there's someone who needs me back home?"

There was silence as Carlisle waited for me to look up. I bit my lip, and met his gaze.

"Bella," he began, "if you would like, I can perform a pelvic exam to put your fears to rest. It may be uncomfortable for you, though. Of course, if you wished, I could take you to the hospital and have one of the doctors there—"

"No!" I practically screamed. For some reason, terror filled me at the prospect of having another doctor look at me. I tempered my voice and spoke again. "I'd much rather have someone I know do it, Carlisle. Someone I trust."

"Very well. We can perform the check up in my office. Why don't you finish your breakfast, and we can meet up there in a few minutes."

"Sure." My stomach felt queasy. Obviously, Alice had seen my answers to his questions. Why else would he have had the necessary supplies, like immunizations? Though I was nervous about the internal exam, I was certain that Carlisle had probably done similar things quite a few times; he had been a doctor for so long. Of course, his competency wasn't the real issue.

I began breaking the cereal bar apart with my fingers, no longer hungry.

"Bella, you really need to eat more than that," Esme scolded. "You don't eat enough as it is, and the two bites you took are not sufficient nutrition."

I looked down again. "I'm fine."

"Esme is right," Carlisle said. "You must watch your diet. You need to take care of yourself."

"I eat."

"Not enough for a girl your age," Esme said.

"With as much as you and now Edward have been trying to feed me, I'm lucky I'm not the size of a house. I eat enough."

"Bella, you're an adult," Carlisle said placatingly. "We're not trying to assert rule over you. We just worry that you might not be getting what your body needs."

"We worry about _you_." Esme's eyes were pleading.

How could I argue with their concern? If I had been in their position, I would be worried, too. But still I felt the need to defend myself.

"I'm fine. Carlisle's exam will prove that. I mean, all the other blood work came back fine."

"Yes, it did," Carlisle conceded.

"What kind of parents would we be if we didn't worry?" Esme asked. "It's our job."

_And so she has me. _

"I guess so." I smiled and shrugged. "I know you're doing what you think is right. I love you both for looking out for me. I just wish you guys didn't treat me like I'm made of glass sometimes. I'm not that fragile."

"Of course you aren't sweetheart," Esme said while walking toward me. She sat next to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. Instantly all was forgiven, her kind touch driving my irritation away—how could I be annoyed with someone so gentle and caring? "We just want to protect you."

"Thanks, Esme."

"It's nothing at all," she responded.

I shoved the decimated cereal bar into my mouth and swallowed it down as quickly as possible.

"I'll be upstairs, Bella," Carlisle said, walking toward the staircase slowly. "Come up when you're ready."

After delaying as long as possible, I walked upstairs and down the hall to Carlisle's office. It wasn't necessarily opulent, but it was regal in its own way. The wood walls and leather furniture, combined with the shelves of books and paintings, both large and small gave the room an aura of majesty without being ostentatious.

I sat in one of the leather seats, and Carlisle performed the check up. As I had guessed, Alice must have seen my answer, because Carlisle had the immunizations ready when I walked in the room. I could see why he wanted to do this while the others were gone. Even that tiny amount of blood would have probably been enough to cause discomfort.

Since Carlisle didn't have an exam table in his office, we decided to do the internal exam on my bed.

I went upstairs and took a shower, preparing myself for what was quickly becoming a frightening ordeal. As I waited for Carlisle, I paced my room, unable to calm for a second.

Hoping to calm my pounding heart, I took a deep breath. I was confused by my own reaction. How could I behave so strangely to such a typical medical procedure? Thousands of women nationwide had these done each day. What was wrong with me?

The air passing in and out of my lungs did nothing to pacify my thudding pulse or scattered thoughts, and the soft knock on the door caused me to gasp and nearly jump from my skin. My already frayed nerves shattered.

"H-hello?" I croaked.

"Bella, dear? It's Esme. May I come in?"

"Um, sure," I answered.

She slowly opened the door and then closed it behind her. After placing some items that looked like linens on my bed, she flitted to my side.

"Are you frightened?" she asked. "Of course you are. You're heart is beating a mile a minute. Do you not want to do this?"

"No, know I need to. I've held off this sort of stuff too long. I was kind of trying to hide my head in the sand."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "It's only going to get worse. It'll be better knowing…"

She grabbed my hand between her cold ones. "I thought you might like some support. Do you want me to stay? It might help?"

I swallowed hard. Did I want her to stay? It might make it more awkward, but on the other hand, it might make it better.

"I think having you here might help." I sat on the bed. "I just need to get ready. What are these for?" I pointed to the pile Esme had brought with her.

"There are pillows to place beneath you, and the others are sheets. One to place on the pillows and one for over your lap."

"Okay," I said weakly. "What do I have to do now?"

She smiled. "It's not that bad, Bella." She situated the pillows at the end of my bed, and placed a white sheet over them. "Just remove everything from the waist down, and then lay back on the pillows with your legs over the end of the bed."

I nodded.

She rushed into my bathroom and returned holding my vanity stool. After placing it just below the pillows, she turned to me.

"I'll be just outside," she said, then began walking to the door. "Call when you're ready."

"Mmmhmmm."

She left the room, and I quickly stripped, wanting this over as soon as possible. After lying awkwardly on the bed and placing the sheet over me, I called her in. "Okay."

"I'm here as well," answered Carlisle.

"O-okay. Y-you can c-come in."

They both entered the room quietly.

Esme sat next to me on the bed, facing the wall to my right, making a show of facing in a direction away from where Carlisle would be working. She turned her head a few inches toward me and smiled gently.

"You'll be fine," she said, then gently patted and grasped my left hand.

"I'll be as quick as possible," Carlisle said quietly. "I know that you're uncomfortable."

"Thank you," I whispered, unable to find my normal voice.

"I will need you to move down to the edge of the bed."

I scooted down, feeling more exposed than before. Adrenaline coursed through my veins, kicking in the fight or flight reaction.

"It's okay, sweetheart," Esme soothed.

My breathing increased until I felt like I was in danger of hyperventilating.

I searched the room frantically. There had to be something to grab my attention.

_Esme_?

Too much pity.

_My books?_

No, Carlisle's there.

_The windows?_

Covered in curtains.

_Is there nothing?_

I began feeling lightheaded from breathing too fast. My eyes still darted from object to object. I couldn't focus.

There was _no_ way to calm myself.

Nothing helped.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Carlisle approaching with a gray, flattened gun-shaped object in his right hand.

Fear filled me and I shrieked, shaking my head violently.

_No, no, no, no, no, no, no._

I embraced the blackness as it engulfed me.

* * *

Thanks again.


	15. Preparation

Thank you for reviewing LC!

As always, if anyone is still reading, you rock.

My permanent betas are wonderful. Thanks so much, Strider and jfka06. Since jfka06 is currently on hiatus, the lovely BookGeek80 has stepped in. And as of this chapter, I've gained a prereader… the lovely nowforruin. We bow down to her.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

* * *

Chapter 15- Preparation

I wasn't out for long, a few minutes at most, according to Esme and Carlisle. But still, when I came back to reality, I felt exhausted and spent, like I'd run a marathon while I was unconscious. I didn't know why I would react that way, and it scared me. So, like so many unpleasant things before, I pushed it into a locked drawer in my mind, and decided to move on.

I was surprised by Carlisle and Esme's reactions to my fainting. Clearly, Alice had not seen that future—I guessed I hadn't made the decision to freak out until I saw Carlisle approach—because they still wore the same masks of shock when I opened my eyes.

"I don't think we should move forward with the exam today," Carlisle said, once I was lucid.

"No, definitely not," agreed Esme.

"I'm fine." I tried to sit up to add strength to my argument, but felt woozy and had to lay back down.

"You shouldn't force yourself, sweetheart." Esme ran her fingers along my forehead. "I think you've had enough excitement for today."

"I'm fine," I said again. "I need to do this."

"Bella, you shouldn't force your mind beyond what it can handle," Carlisle soothed. "You've already caused it to shut down once."

"Please." The compassion displayed in Esme's eyes nearly swayed my decision. "Don't do this. Not now. Don't push yourself beyond your limits."

I leaned on one arm, bringing myself into a partially-seated position. Luckily, the wooziness stayed away.

"It's best to treat this the same way I'd remove a band-aid; just get it done as quickly as possible," I smiled. "Sure, it'll be uncomfortable at first, but it'd be over and done with, then I'd have some answers." Besides, I hadn't pushed myself at all in the last month, and where had that gotten me?

"I still think you should wait, Bella." She grabbed the hand I wasn't leaning on. "Maybe until the day after tomorrow."

"I…" I paused trying to find the words to explain myself and squeezed her hand. "If I don't do this now, I won't be able to do it at all. I'll never go through with it."

"Tomorrow?" Esme asked.

I turned to Carlisle and was surprised by the look on his face. His resolve was clearly weakening.

"Esme, dear, we both know how Bella worries… even if she doesn't mention those worries to us for some time."

"But, Carlisle…"

I could tell she was near giving in. It wasn't necessary for her to agree to continue the exam, but I knew I'd feel better if I didn't go against her.

"I _need_ to know." My whisper broke her determination. "I have to do this."

She sighed. "It goes against my better judgment, but if you need this, I'll stand beside you."

"Thank you, Esme." I squeezed her hand again.

A few minutes later, the exam began again. Luckily, I had expected the fear that accompanied it, and I was able to calm myself down. There was no hyperventilating and no passing out.

As I'd expected, there was also no evidence that I'd given birth to any children… at least not with this child's body. Though the image of the little old lady dependent on me didn't fade, at least I was able to rid my mind of the crying and forgotten baby. Of course I was pleased that I hadn't forgotten my own child. I had enough feelings of inadequacy; I didn't need to add that to the growing pile. But above that, part of me was also relieved that I didn't have a child.

I found the thought of children off-putting. They always seemed to be noisy and filthy, and I really didn't want to be saddled with a kid, especially in my current condition — people were so judgmental of teenage mothers, and there was no way I'd pass as anything else. That was assuming I found a way to claim anything from my past once I remembered. I wasn't sure how that would be possible—I'd barely pass as twenty-one with the right clothing and makeup; how would I ever be able to claim thirty?

As always, there was that little nagging negative voice in the back of my mind. It wondered what I had done with my life, considering I was securely into adulthood. I knew that having a child was not the only true marker of a fulfilled life, but I wondered what else there could have been. I hadn't been a mother; maybe I'd chosen another route. Perhaps I had an influential career? Maybe there were people relying on me for basic needs, and I wasn't there to help them. I wondered if I was letting anyone down while I played house with a family of vampires. It was just another aspect of an unknown life that I had to worry about.

Or was it possible that I had nothing? Maybe I was a hermit who had zero worth and no family. I wasn't sure which was the most troublesome. Either way, neither really was a life I wanted to return to. I was so happy with my current situation. I had people who loved and accepted me. I found that, regardless of their species, I was at home with them, complete in many ways. Of course, I was in love with one of the family members, and I wanted nothing more to be near him, so maybe that swayed my decision slightly. But I was still satisfied with my current circumstances, so pushing the unpleasant thoughts to the back of my mind was easier than it should have been. Especially when Edward was near.

I sat in my room, mulling over the questions as they ran rampant, but still had no answers. My thoughts were interrupted by a loud slam of a door; it sounded almost like glass shattering. I wondered who had arrived home, and why they had slammed the front door hard enough to break it—it was the only glass door in the house.

I rushed out of my bedroom and down the stairs. On the second floor landing, I heard a muffled voice, which seemed particularly angry—Edward, I thought. I debated whether to go and investigate, but my nosy side won out, and I found myself walking down the hall. I didn't bother to creep; they'd hear me coming from a mile away.

As I approached, Edward continued to berate whoever was in the room with him. I hadn't heard the other person speak, but Edward paused at intervals, so he didn't seem to be alone. As the voice was coming from Carlisle's office, I could only assume the other person was Carlisle. Though I couldn't make out exact words, Edward's tone was clear—he was livid. I had expected him to quiet when he realized I was near, but surprisingly he didn't. I wasn't sure if he didn't care or he was upset enough that he hadn't noticed me.

The door was slightly open when I approached, and I could see Edward's shadow flicker in the light seeping through the crack. I pushed on the door, and seemed to catch both him and Carlisle unaware.

I didn't realize until that point that Carlisle had been talking—I saw his lips blurring when I opened the door. Clearly he had kept his voice quiet so that I hadn't heard him.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Nothing, Bella," Edward sighed.

"It's just a disagreement," Carlisle answered. "Edward doesn't see eye to eye with a decision I made earlier today. No need to worry."

"Oh. Sorry to interrupt." I turned to walk out the door, embarrassed at my interfering, when suddenly I realized that the only thing Carlisle had done today was my physical. Stupidly, I turned around, hoping I hadn't caused this argument. "This doesn't have to …um, do with me does it?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward jerk his head slightly to the right and then the left, a silent no, only meant for Carlisle.

I turned to him, incensed. I now knew it was about me, and he meant to keep me unaware. "You do realize that I saw that." Did he think I was blind?

The corner of his lip twitched, but still he said nothing. My anger increased with his silence and apparent humor at the situation. There was nothing more annoying than being found funny when I was angry.

"I'm not blind, Edward." I shook my head. "So, you're laying into Carlisle over me?" I took a step closer. "Why?"

Carlisle let out a small puff of air, sounding slightly like a laugh, but I ignored him. I'd picked my target, and I had locked on. Edward just stood there, obviously not intending to answer me.

"Why?" I pushed, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

"He shouldn't have forced you—"

So his anger was about my exam. Little did he know that I was the one to push.

"Forced me? _Forced_ me? Really? Do you think he had Esme hold me down while I kicked and screamed?" As if Carlisle would force me into anything.

"No. No, of course not." His voice was placating, but his attempt to soothe fell far short.

"It was my decision, Edward. Mine." I pointed to Carlisle. "He didn't force me to do anything. I had to talk him and Esme into continuing. They didn't want to."

"He should have—"

"What?" I shook my head in exasperation. "Told me no and sent me on my way like a good little girl?"

"I didn't mean—"

"Of course you didn't." My condescension was unmasked. "Like I've told you before, despite what you see," I motioned down my figure, "I'm an adult. I alone make my decisions, and I alone face the consequences. Stop treating me like a child. I'm _not_."

"I know that."

"Bella," Carlisle started. "I think—"

"Please tell me that you are not going to defend him, Carlisle," I said, raising my hands in exasperation. "Especially not after the way he was just speaking to you. I can't believe this."

"Not exactly." Carlisle stood and walked to me. "You just need to understand that Edward is… protective of you." His lips twitched as he seemed to be fighting a smile… in the middle of an argument.

Strange people.

"Like the rest of us," Carlisle continued, "he doesn't want to see you hurt in any way. Put yourself in his position. If you thought someone had done something to hurt him…wouldn't you be upset?"

"It's not the same thing." Though I argued, I had to admit he had me there. "I still wouldn't speak to you that way. You and your family have done nothing but help me, been nothing but good to me. I know you'd do nothing to hurt me. And I do nothing in return, but take." I looked to the ground. "I'm a… parasite."

"No," Edward growled. The sheer volume and anger in his voice caused me to cringe, and I stumbled backward in surprise.

"Oh!"

He quickly caught me. "I'm sorry I frightened you."

"Sure." I was still annoyed at him and it showed, even in that single syllable.

Once he helped me upright, he quickly released my shoulders and stepped back.

"You are in no way a parasite, Bella."

"Of course not," Carlisle agreed. He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer to him, and I leaned my head on his shoulder. This was the closest I'd ever been to him, and I thought it strange that while his scent was sweet and inviting, it was nothing in comparison to Edward's. "I already think of you as a daughter."

"Really?" I asked, lifting my head to look him in the eye.

"Yes."

"Thank you, Carlisle." I smiled at him and pulled away. "That's very sweet. But still, that wasn't any way for him to treat you."

I turned to Edward again, ready to continue our discussion. Carlisle's words had calmed me a bit, and the fire was ebbing.

"I'll leave you two alone," Carlisle said, then left the room.

Before I could speak again, Edward cut me off. "I apologize, Bella. When I saw from Alice that you had been… upset, I was furious. You seemed so…helpless. And you've had so much happen to you already. You didn't need another thing forced on you." He sounded crushed.

The defeat in his voice completely calmed me, and my anger melted, leaving me wanting to comfort him, instead. How could I stay upset when he'd only been trying to help me? "It's all right. I understand." Even though I was giving in, I felt the need to make my point clear. "But you really need to control that temper… and let me make my own decisions."

He nodded his head.

The atmosphere was a little tense after our quarrel, but it didn't take long to dissipate, and the next few days before my start at school passed in a blur of preparation-I don't think any thirty year old returning to high school was more adequately prepared than I was. In the Cullens' excitement, it sometimes felt like I was more a toy than a human being.

Alice, though sweet in her wish for me to fit in, treated me like some life-sized paper doll. I doubted that I had ever seen so many options for a "back to school outfit" as Alice had made me try on, let alone what she'd actually put out before me.

I didn't have the heart to tell her no, but I whined more than I should have.

Finally after too many hours to count, Edward came and saved me from her evil clutches.

"I think Bella's had enough," he called into her room. "She's got to have some time to rest."

"Rest?" Alice laughed. "I don't see rest on her schedule for quite a few hours."

So I guessed that save might not have been the appropriate word. I had clearly traded one torture for another, though I'd gladly submit myself to torture as long as he was near me.

"Sweet escape," I sighed.

"You looked like you needed it," he explained. "And she wasn't going to stop without my intervention." He laughed and grasped my hand, and then pulled me down the hall, nearly yanking it from its socket.

"Oh! Sorry," he said sheepishly.

"It's no problem," I said. Just be a little gentle.

He loosened his grip so he was barely touching me. His touch tickled as his hand brushed softly against the tips of my fingers.

"From paper doll to china doll." I laughed, unable to stop myself.

"I forget how fragile you are," he said seriously. I can never forget. "I was barely holding onto your hand before."

"Barely?" That was pretty tight. I was awed by his apparent strength, _their_ apparent strength.

"See?" Fragile... like satin covered glass.

"So I am a china doll," I sighed. Just like I thought.

He laughed again.

"Wait!" I grasped his hand tighter, wanting to hear his reaction, and he stopped abruptly. "You think my skin's like satin?" I was certain he'd hear my teasing tone.

Suddenly, I noticed the hum of hiding thoughts.

"Hey, now!" That's not fair.

He chuckled and released my hand, wrapping his arm around my shoulders instead. It took all my will not to lean into his chest and moan. I settled for trying to calm my racing heart.

"So what do you want for your last dinner as a free woman?" he asked.

"Free woman?"

"Sure. After this, you'll be tied to school and homework."

"I know I may not be the smartest person, but I don't think homework will take all of my time."

"I know you'll be fine."

"I hope so," I sighed and began walking back to the stairs.

I really hadn't let myself think much about the upcoming reintroduction to society, but when I did, I didn't want to admit to myself that I was terrified. How was I going to be able to fit in with a bunch of teenagers? I didn't know what they talked about, what music they listened to or what TV shows they watched. I didn't know that if that horrible show Edward subjected me to days prior was any indication. If it was, I wasn't going to have anything in common with these kids. I should have been doing some research, maybe scouring the internet.

"What do they talk about?" I turned to look at Edward and nearly fell. _Eyes where you're walking, Bella._ "These… kids?" My attention returned to the stairs now before me.

"Talk about?" He was silent as he thought for a moment. "Nothing of consequence."

"I'm not kidding. I really need to know these things." I stopped on the stair and leaned against the railing. Looking him directly in the eyes, I silently pleaded with him for help. He had more experience than the others—he heard everything from them. "I mean… I don't know what normal people—well, kids—talk about. I haven't had much experience... not that I remember."

He reached out and cupped my cheek. "You'll be fine. Just observe and you'll fit in. Trust me."

I nodded weakly, my eyes locking on the other banister.

He ran his hand down my neck, along my shoulder and down to my forearm, just above my wrist, taking care not to touch my hand. "You'll have no problems." He tugged on my arm gently, clearly taking care since our talk before. "Now come with me, or Esme will have my head if your food gets cold."

"Esme wouldn't harm a _hair_ on your head." I rolled my eyes and returned to looking at him.

He ducked his head and looked at me through his lashes. "It's a saying, Isabella."

_Did my heart stop beating?_

The way he said my full name sent chills down my spine.

_And those eyes…just… gah!_

"I-I know." The tell-tale blush painted my cheeks as I felt the warmth spread.

I needed to get myself together, so I pulled my arm from his loose grasp and started down the stairs again. When we arrived in the kitchen, I was amazed by the amount of food before me.

"This would serve fifty, Esme." Shock must have been written all over my face. "There's no way I can eat all this."

"Leftovers for you to take for lunch." She smiled sweetly.

"Still…I can't eat all this before it goes bad."

"Don't argue, Bella," Edward said, pushing me forward slightly. "Just eat."

"I'm not arguing. I'm just surprised." I looked back to Esme and realized that I appeared unappreciative. "I'm sorry if I sounded ungrateful. I just feel bad wasting your time on all this food."

"Bella, when will you understand that I like doing this?" She shook her head slightly. "It's as much my pleasure as it is yours. Doing things for others, especially my children, pleases me."

"Well, thank you." I was so embarrassed, uncomfortable with outward displays of affection.

"Of course, dear." She smiled kindly and pointed to the counter. "Take what you want. I'll be upstairs." I watched as she left the kitchen, taking a plate after she went through the door.

Over the next hour, I stuffed myself with as much food as possible, not wanting to disappoint either Esme of Edward. I used the time contemplating my current life and how everything was going to change starting tomorrow.

Edward only stayed about five minutes after I started eating. Maybe he was giving me space, or maybe he'd been trying to talk to me and my obvious distance had frightened him off. Either way, with the kitchen to myself, I was able to use the time to gain some perspective.

I knew what I wanted in that exact moment, but I wasn't sure that was the smartest thing to desire. If I had my way, I'd stay in the pleasant cocoon I'd made for myself with my new family. I was blissfully ignorant of the outside world with Edward around, in a bubble of order surrounded by chaos, and I wished the feeling could last forever. But I knew change was coming, and though it was necessary, I feared what that change would bring.

I worried about the life I'd left behind, but I was more anxious about what the knowledge of that life would bring. There had to be a reason I didn't remember much, and I fretted that they were negative. Why else would someone just lose themselves? Something horrible must have occurred to bring such a reaction.

Had it been a bad experience with a doctor? The way I'd acted toward Carlisle hinted at that fact. Or perhaps there was another incident, something worse than a bad doctor's visit. No matter what, it was clear that there was something bad in my past.

I knew that everyone had bad things in their past. That was just part of living. Bad things happened, and you moved on. But what happened if those things were so dreadful that the only course your mind could take to free itself was to section them off? What happened if your entire life was so horrible that it all had to be lost in order to keep your sanity?

I didn't want to think that I'd been in such a terrible position that the best way to survive was to forget everything, but how could I ignore the glaringly obvious facts before me?

Or maybe I'd just bumped my head one day while I was sleepwalking and woke up to find myself alone in a forest. That possibility was so unlikely it was laughable.

Then there came the ever nagging question of my appearance. Normal people don't wake up looking over a decade younger than they should—unless they were rich like Joan Rivers, and their faces were so tight they couldn't close their eyes. I didn't see how something like that was feasible, but here I was. Of course, I was also sitting in a kitchen that belonged to a house of _vampires_, calmly eating my dinner and contemplating my past.

My reality wasn't humanly possible, but I was decidedly human. The tests Carlisle had done not long after my arrival had confirmed that fact. Yes, I smelled tastier than any other human to Edward, but he was the only one. I smelled like a normal human to the others.

In the end, I concluded that if I had the ability to do what I wanted, I'd stay in my happy little fairy tale with the Cullens, with Edward. That wasn't possible, though. I needed to move on no matter how I wished to remain stagnant. I struggled with the notion of what was right versus what I truly wanted.

So I knew what I had to do, and I knew that I didn't want to do it…not yet at least. But time marched on, even when I didn't want it to.

After dinner, I was surprisingly tired, so I spent a short time with Alice and Edward before I went to bed. I fell asleep quickly and didn't remember dreaming when I woke.

My first day of school dawned gray and dreary, like almost every day in this small town. I dressed in the clothes Alice had laid out—it was just easier that way—and scuttled down the stairs. Even after all my pessimistic thinking over dinner, I was strangely eager to start my education. Maybe it was just the fact that I was going to get out of the house and socialize with people other than the Cullens, with other human beings.

After eating a quick breakfast, I walked out into the living room, ready to start the next chapter of my life. When I reached the first floor, Alice and Edward were already there. I looked out the front window to see Rosalie's red convertible zooming down the driveway. I had known we would need to take separate cars, since none of the cars seated more than five.

However, I hadn't expected that both Emmett and Jasper would go with Rosalie. Emmett had been a given. When Rosalie said to jump, usually he was pleased to ask how high. But _Jasper__? _I was annoyed with myself for yet again coming in between my best friend and her husband. I did that so often. If I kept this up, I was going to lose my best friend.

"Ostentatious, isn't it?" Edward asked, clearly misreading the reason for my sudden sullen behavior.

"I guess so," I answered, deciding to follow his prompt instead of correcting him. "It's really a nice car though."

"Yes, it is." He bowed his head. "But like my Vanquish, it sticks out at Forks High. We should really try to blend in. That's why I rarely drive my other car. It's only for… special occasions."

"I doubt you'd blend in either way," I said, feeling my cheeks burn as I blushed. Would I ever get over that?

He laughed in response. "True enough."

"Will you take me for a drive in the other car sometime?" I asked quietly.

"Of course," he said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "We just need to find a special occasion."

"I can wait." I smiled and turned to face Alice. "Will you be going with them tomorrow?" I paused to take a deep breath. "I don't think you and Jasper should be away from each other so much."

"I don't think I'm going with them tomorrow."

"You really should spend more time with him," I urged.

"Nonsense." She flitted to my side and wrapped her arm around me. "I see him all day at school. I'm with him almost every afternoon and evening. And on top of that, we spend all night together."

"Still…"

"Bella, we have each other for eternity. I can spend a few hours away to be with my best friend. He isn't bothered."

I heard Edward sigh and looked over at him. His eyes were on the ground, his head downturned, but I could still see the longing in his eyes. It must have been so hard for him being alone all the time. Before I came along, he was the odd man out. Now at least we were odd together.

I giggled at that awkward thought, and Edward looked at me questioningly. I shook my head. "We'll talk about it later. Let's go, or we'll be late for school. And we wouldn't want that."

The air was thick as we walked out the door and to the garage. I wasn't sure what had created the sudden tension, but everyone seemed lost in their own thoughts.

When we walked into the garage, I couldn't help but notice the opulence even in this stark room. There, sitting next to the silver Volvo we would be taking today, was Edward's "Special Occasion" car. It really was gorgeous, all smooth lines and sleek curves. I wondered how expensive something like that was, but quickly realized I probably didn't want to know. Besides, these people had more money than I could comprehend.

Alice kindly let me sit in the front seat of the car, and we quickly pulled out of the garage.

"Will you teach me to drive at some point?" I asked, looking out the window as we passed the house and began down the driveway.

"Sure," Alice chimed.

"When would you like to start?" Edward asked.

"As soon as possible?" I said, turning to the front.

"In celebration of your first day of school, you and I will start lessons tonight." From the corner of my eye, I noticed Edward look away from the driveway.

I quickly turned to the driver's seat. "You're going to be my teacher?" I asked, feeling nervousness rise into my throat.

"Sure, why not?"

"I might not be very good…" I trailed off not fully sure whether I _wanted_ to dissuade him.

"I can be patient…when I try to be."

Alice laughed. "And if he gives you any problems, I'll take over."

"Thanks, guys."

Again I looked out to the Washington forest on my side of the car. I spent the rest of the ride to the school thinking about the changes that were about to come. One question resounded over and over…would I lose Edward?

Occasionally, I would cast a swift glance in his direction. Usually, I'd catch him watching me, a look of concern on his face. At that moment, I would smile to alleviate his anxiety and return my gaze outside the window.

I was shocked by the scattered buildings when we pulled into the first parking lot. I'd expected a large brick building, something more institutional at the least. We parked near what I assumed was the front office as there weren't many cars parked there.

"Ready?" Edward asked when he turned off the car.

I nodded. "Let's do this." I took a deep breath, and before I could open the door, Edward was there on the other side, his hand already on the door. At first I was shocked that he'd moved so quickly in public, but then I realized I'd been sitting motionless longer than I'd thought.

He pulled the door open and held out his hand. I grasped it eagerly, wanting the strength his touch provided.

_Today will go well,_ he thought calmly. _You'll do fine._

_I know. It's not like anyone's going to __bite __me._

He laughed. "No, I guess not. You're past _that_ danger." He squeezed my hand lightly, then let go.

Alice walked over and hugged me. "I can see how nervous you are, and I can tell you, there's no need to be." She held out her hand. "Want to see for yourself?"

The desire to know the future pulled at me, but I decided against grabbing her hand. "I think I'll find out as it happens," I whispered. "Thanks, though."

She shrugged. "Your loss."

I nodded again. "I'd better go," I said walking toward the little building.

"Did you think we would allow you to go on your own?" Alice asked, bouncing up to my side. She wrapped her arm around my shoulders.

"Thanks so much," I said gratefully. "It's nice not to do this alone."

"We're by your side all the way, right, Edward?"

"Of course," he answered. "How could we be anywhere else?"

I wished he could know exactly how much those few words meant to me, but I could never tell him, so I just smiled and nodded.

When we reached the office door, Edward turned to me and raised his eyebrows in question. "Are you ready?"

I nodded, and he grasped the door knob and twisted it.

That door was the threshold to yet another phase in my new life. Good or bad, I was about to embark on a new voyage. I closed my eyes, held my breath and walked through.

* * *

End Notes:

Thanks for reading.

I know you're getting frustrated with Edward but there's no way he can just rush into anything here. That would be too much too soon. Bella is completely vulnerable here, and he'd be a cad for rushing anything.

I chose to describe the school according to the book, as I'm staying as close to book canon as possible.

I will be away next week without the ability to write. So, I'm not sure how long until the next chapter.


	16. New Start

Thank you for reviewing LC! I was away for quite some time and unable to answer reviews. I figured I would post this next chapter before replying. I thought that might be more desired. I will reply to them all. I love and appreciate them all.

Thanks to all the people who have added LC to their favorites or their alerts.

As always, if anyone is still reading, you rock.

My permanent betas are wonderful. Thanks so much, Strider and jfka06. Since jfka06 is currently on hiatus, the lovely BookGeek80 has stepped in. And as of this chapter, I've now got two prereaders… the lovely nowforruin and the beautiful bookgeek80. It's my own little team, and I'm grateful they've taken me on.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

* * *

Chapter 16 - New Start

The school's office was small and cluttered. Brightly colored announcements and various papers littered the walls and counter, and a large clocked ticked loudly. It was a throwback to the seventies, complete with orange-flecked brown shag carpeting. Scattered throughout were many potted plants—wasn't there enough green outside? In the middle of the chaos stood an older woman with fire-engine red hair, wearing a clashing purple T-shirt, immersed in some work. The haphazard scene would have been comical had it not been for the unease that was flowing through me.

I looked down at my outfit, the one Alice had chosen. If this woman was an indication how people dressed in this town, there was no way I'd be able to blend in. I wished that I had chosen my own clothing. At least I would have felt more comfortable.

"You look great," Alice whispered in my ear. "No one will think anything about your clothes."

"You sure?" I mouthed, not wanting to interrupt the secretary.

She moved into my view and nodded, then spoke quietly. "You're with us, meaning you'll already get attention. You'd stick out more if you weren't dressed like you are."

"How can I help you?" The woman behind the desk had finally looked up and acknowledged us.

Alice gently pushed me forward.

"I'm…" I said, then cleared my throat. The frog in my throat would not help with confidence, and I would not allow my nerves to get the best of me. "I'm Bella, um, Isabella Dean. I'm starting here today."

"Of course," she said brightly. "I'm Mrs. Cope. I've got all of your information right here… somewhere." She shuffled through a pile of papers on her left while speaking.

Edward chuckled quietly.

I bit my lip. Even though I'd been expected, she was clearly not ready for me, a sign that this was not the most organized school. But what did I know about schools; all I knew about the world was the inside of a large white mansion and a miniscule cottage. Maybe all schools were this way.

"Ah, here they are!" she exclaimed, holding a few sheets triumphantly in her hand.

"A feat to be admired," Edward mumbled behind me, quiet enough that I was sure the woman wouldn't hear.

I tried to stifle a giggle, but failed. "Great! Thanks."

"You're so eager to get started," Mrs. Cope said. "Wonderful!" She spread the papers before me and began an explanation.

The first sheet was my schedule. It had all the classes we'd discussed, so there was no surprise. The next was a map of the school, a few scattered buildings, each housing a few classes, as I'd gathered when we drove up. It still seemed strange that one of the rainiest places would have kids change classes outside – but again, what did I know? Then there was a piece of paper that needed to be signed by each of my teachers and returned at the end of the day. Last were random forms to be signed by my parent/guardian. I was officially a child.

I tried to remember that dynamic as I spoke to Mrs. Cope again—I was not her equal; she was my elder.

"Um, thank you very much, Mrs. Cope." I said as I walked away. "Have a nice day."

"You too," she called as Alice rushed me through the door.

"I'm sure I'll have loads of fun."

Edward snickered behind me, but I mostly ignored his humor at the situation, opting to shake my head and roll my eyes, even if he couldn't see the latter.

"Here, let me have those," Alice chirped when we sat down in the car, so we could park in the student lot. "I'll sign the forms. Esme and Carlisle won't mind. I don't think they've ever signed any of ours. We usually do that."

"Sure." I passed the papers back to her. "How do you get away with that? I mean, don't the signatures look different?"

She laughed. "No. I forget how much you don't know." There were many things I didn't know. "We're good at mimicking writing. Well, at least to human eyes."

"Oh." Yet another plus in their lifestyle.

"I can do your writing, too. Want to see?" She quickly filled out the top of the form she had been signing, writing my name at the top. She wasn't kidding; it looked amazingly like mine.

"Can you do that too?" I asked Edward, my voice a little breathy.

"We all can." He didn't sound smug, more saddened. I didn't understand why. I was in awe, nothing more.

"Is there anything you guys can't do?" I asked.

Edward shook his head, but didn't respond.

"Eat," Alice said. "Though I don't know why we'd want to. Your food smells disgusting."

I laughed. "I could probably say the same for yours."

"Anyway... I knew we weren't going to share any classes," she began, "but I hoped."

"It would have been nice to know somebody," I granted.

"Well, you have Edward in biology, right after lunch."

"At least there's that," I agreed, happy that I wouldn't go an entire day without him.

"I'm the only one without a bio partner," Edward said. "So I'm sure we'll work together."

"Cool," I said trying to get into character. "Do kids say that anymore?" I asked, then laughed. "Look who I'm asking. You speak like you're a hundred years old." I pointed to Edward. "I'm surprised they haven't picked up on that."

"You'd be amazed what they miss."

"But I don't sound like that," Alice chimed in. "And yes, I hear 'cool' said a lot."

"Well, cool then."

"What's my first class?" I asked Alice.

"English with Mr. Mason." She handed me the paper. "I'll walk you there. It's near my first class. 'Course with a school this small, everything is near my first class."

I hadn't noticed that we were already parked in a space. This place was tiny—my world had only expanded minutely. Maybe baby steps were the best way.

"You coming, Edward?" Alice asked as she opened her door.

"No," he answered, and my heart fell. "Bella will get enough stares without me drawing attention to her as well. I'll be keeping an eye out, though." He sighed, got out of the car and closed the door behind him. I got the vibe that maybe he didn't want to be separated, but he felt it was necessary.

I wondered why, but he rarely made sense to me, so I chalked it up to his strange mood swings.

I took a deep breath and opened my door. "Here goes nothing." After stepping out of the car and grabbing my backpack, I slowly turned to Alice and closed the door, an attempt to delay the inevitable. My excitement from before had ebbed, replaced by a fluttering in my stomach that urged me to stay within my safety zone. "Ready?" I forced myself forward, though I really wanted to retreat.

"Always."

"I guess that's true." I tried to laugh, but tension got the better of me, and my voice faltered instead. "There are no surprises with you… and him around."

She grabbed my hand quickly, and a hazy image of her and I laughing in the backseat of Edward's car flashed by. "After school," she said quickly, then dropped my hand. "See? You'll be fine."

"Thanks, Alice." I smiled at her, feeling slightly less edgy. "You're the best."

"I know," she said in a sing-song voice. "Now let's get going before you're late. Mason's a pain with that kind of thing."

"Okay," I said. I turned to Edward, then stood there in front of the shiny, silver car feeling strange. How was I supposed to say goodbye? Clearly a kiss—even on the cheek—wouldn't work, and a hug seemed like going overboard as well. Since I wasn't sure, we all stood for a while looking awkward and uncomfortable.

"I'll see you at lunch." Edward finally broke the silence, his voice solemn, but resigned. Though his mouth was pulled up into the most adorable half-smile, he didn't look happy, more like… anxious. "Have fun this morning." He waved, then turned away.

As he walked, my heart followed him. I would have given anything to walk alongside him as he made his way across the campus. I wouldn't be alone most of the day. I knew he'd protect me from the looming interrogations. But I also knew that I had to get this initiation of sorts over.

After I steeled my resolve to go to class, I noticed that he didn't hold himself as rigidly as usual. His shoulders were slightly hunched, which was very unusual for him.

"What's that about?" I asked Alice, pointing to Edward's retreating form.

"He's nervous," she said, then leaned in to my ear. "You know how he worries. He's just worried about you. He doesn't want to make things difficult for you, but he feels protective at the same time. So while he doesn't want to smother you, he feels he has to."

"What?" I asked.

"You had an argument a few days ago," she stated rather than asked.

"Yes." I shrugged. "So?"

"Let's walk and talk." She grabbed my shoulders and pulled me along. "We need to get you to class."

I nodded, happy to finally get some insight into Edward's psyche . After a few steps, she still hadn't said anything. "So…" I prompted.

"So… we all love you—you know that—and we all feel the need to protect you."

"Yes, I know. Because I'm so fragile." My exasperation was evidenced by an eye roll.

"Yes, that's part of it." She waved her hand, gesturing for me to keep my mouth shut. "You're family too, and family takes care of their own." She eyed me purposely. I knew she felt this way, but I was always pleased to hear it.

"Thanks, Alice."

She nodded and beamed at me. "Anyway, Edward feels more protective of you." She grabbed my hand, her eyes begging me to understand something that was just beyond my understanding. "It's just the way he is, the way we all are. So he worries over everything he does when around you. Should he have done more? Should he have done less? Everything." She rolled her eyes. "It would just be easier to talk to you, to explain things. But no…" She said more, but I couldn't understand her high-pitched muttering.

"I don't understand why." I shook my head. "Almost everything he does is perfectly fine." More than fine, actually, but I wasn't letting her know that. "I've never let him think anything else."

"I know you feel that way, Bella." She smiled kindly. "But he still worries. And he takes everything on himself. It's just the way he is, and he's not going to change."

Suddenly a thought hit me, and I was sure I blushed. "Can he hear you?"

She laughed, the ringing sound filling the damp Washington air. "Of course."

I lost control of my muscles and swayed while walking up to the building that housed my first class. "Why didn't you tell me that before?" How embarrassing. He'd heard my declaration that he was practically perfect

"It wasn't necessary." She smiled. "Don't worry. I didn't tell you anything I wouldn't and haven't said to him. He knows where I stand." She pointed to her head. "Keeping most things from someone like him is impossible. At least for me"

"I guess so."

"Well, you're here." She gestured broadly to the building before us, a large black three displayed prominently on one of its corners. "Welcome to Forks High. The most elite school on the Olympic Peninsula."

"Thanks, Alice." I pulled her into a hug. "You're the best sister a girl could hope for."

"I probably won't be able to meet you until just before lunch—the cafeteria was that large building we walked past on the way here. Anyway, enjoy your first few classes." She stepped away, and my arms fell to my side. "See you later. And relax. "

Mr. Mason was a no nonsense type of person. He took my form, signed it and sent me to an open seat at the back of the room. He lectured to the class and asked questions, but he never singled me out or picked on me. That was nice—easier to remain somewhat anonymous. I had recently read the books we would be discussing in the class, so I thought that it would be fairly easy.

As I was leaving, a dark haired boy named Eric introduced himself. He was helpful and offered me directions to my next class, going so far as to take me there even though it was not in the direction of his next class. He was a little too helpful, and it made me feel awkward.

The class, Government with Jefferson, passed in a similar manner. Though the kids tried to look at me whenever they could, especially while changing classes, I was feeling pretty comfortable in my new environment… until Trig, the class after Government. My trig teacher, Mr. Varner, actually had me stand before the front of the room and introduce myself. On top of that, I had to give a brief history. I'd practiced this before coming, but I hated having every eye in the classroom on me while I mumbled through a well-rehearsed lie.

After that torture, I sat down and endured the most boring class ever. It was bad enough that I already knew the material, but then I had to listen to the teacher's monotone voice drone on about it. The Spanish Inquisition could have used him as a torture device.

As I was walking to my next class, Spanish, a short girl with wildly curly brown hair appeared at my side. I'd noticed her in Trig; she had been speaking animatedly with a girl who had long, straight, corn silk blonde hair.

"Hi, my name's Jessica," she greeted excitedly. "You're Isabella, right?"

"Um, just Bella, please."

"Sure." She smiled broadly. Though her expression appeared true, I couldn't help but feel like a bird trapped before a snake. I waited for her to pounce. "So, how do you like Forks so far?"

"It's great."

She laughed. "You don't have to lie. I know it's small and wet. At least you fit in." She gestured to me. "You're pale enough. But I guess you'd expect that coming from Alaska and everything. I mean, if you'd come from someplace like Arizona, I'd expect you to be tan, but Alaska…"

"Yeah," I said. "We got a lot of snow. Too cold to sun bathe."

"Exactly." She giggled.

She slyly grilled me as we walked toward our next class—apparently she had Spanish, too. Her questions were general and specific at the same time, general enough to seem friendly but specific enough to show her real desire. I could practically hear the presses at the local gossip rag springing to life. Of course, I knew she really wasn't interested in me; she was just warming up for the really juicy information—the reclusive Cullens.

Spanish was similar to my first two classes, just in a different language. There was no fuss about introductions or speeches before the class. I was beyond grateful for that. It appeared Ms. Goff and I would get along fine.

"So, I'm sure you're sitting with the Cullens for lunch, but maybe you'd like to eat at my table?" Jessica asked as the bell rang. "

I had hoped to come up with a question to catch her off guard—offense as the best defense—but since I knew so little about the kids here, that wasn't possible. The best course of action was probably to stay away from Jessica until I was more comfortable in my role, but I didn't think she'd give up. She was like an alligator. Once they clamped on to their prey, getting them to release was nearly impossible.

I quickly debated the pros and cons. In the end, I figured that my family would get less attention if I sat away from them. Plus, our differences—skin tone, gracefulness and the fact that I ate, among others—would be less apparent if I wasn't next to them. Besides, I'm sure they'd be pleased to have me away for a little longer. On top of all that, I'd come to school to socialize with the human children. I might as well fulfill that purpose.

"Sure." I sighed. "Which way is the cafeteria?"

"Just follow me."

We walked to the cafeteria, Jessica asking questions all the way. I sensed that she was closing in on the questions she really wanted to ask as she became increasingly excited. When we neared the large double doors of the lunchroom, I noticed a small figure standing there waiting.

"Hey, Alice," I called.

"Bella," she trilled. "How was your morning?"

"Fine."

"Are you sitting with us at lunch?" she asked, eying Jessica.

"Um… no, Jessica asked me to sit with her."

"Oh, okay." Alice's expression clearly stated that she wanted to speak to me alone.

"Hey, Jessica," I said, "can I meet you in there?"

"I guess so." She smiled at Alice. "You can sit with us if you want." She was overly eager. Of course, being nice to me was just a ruse to get to be friends with them.

"Oh, no. I can't." Alice looked forlorn. "Jazz would kill me. But thanks for asking."

"No problem," Jessica said and turned to leave.

Just before she walked through the doors, I called her. "Jessica, where do you sit?"

"After you come through the lunch line, we're the second table on the right. I'll look for you."

"Great! See you in there."

I turned to Alice, and her expression had changed completely. Rather than the cheery smile I usually attributed to her, she had a conspiratorial demeanor. "So… Jessica?"

"What do you mean?" I was at a complete loss.

"She and her mother are Forks' resident gossips." She shook her head. "Just watch what you say. She'll tell anyone anything."

I was suddenly nervous. I couldn't remember saying anything incriminating, but maybe this girl was smarter than I had thought. "Do you see anything being said?"

"Not yet," she answered. "Jessica isn't very…creative. She'll just echo the story you told along with a few other details to make it juicier."

"I thought so."

"Just be careful." She pulled me into a hug. "This is your first true test. You'll do fine." She pulled away. "Have a great lunch."

I suddenly felt like I was in danger of betraying my family. "Do you think anyone will mind?"

She laughed as if something I'd asked was funny. "I can think of someone who will, but we'll all be fine once I explain everything."

"Great," I said. "I'm going in."

I grabbed only a drink on the lunch line as I had the leftovers from Esme's meal the night before. Jessica's table was just where she'd said it would be. When I arrived, there were already seven people seated there, and I sat at the remaining seat next to Jessica.

"Hey, everyone, this is Bella," Jessica called out.

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. Most everyone greeted me pretty kindly, but one girl with blonde hair looked at me snidely. Seated about five chairs down from the chair directly across from me was the dark-haired boy who had walked me to Government, Eric. He seemed far too eager to catch my eye, and once again I felt uncomfortable. I didn't want to be mean to this boy, but I wanted his attention even less. I needed to find a way to divert him.

"So how'd you meet Dr. Cullen and his wife?" Jessica asked, jumping right into the real reason for requesting my company.

All eyes were on me as I answered.

"Um, my dad worked with him, was kind of a mentor." I took a bite of my meal, chewed and swallowed but still my answer was obviously not enough as Jessica just stared. "So they were real close."

"Why are you here with them?" she asked. I glanced around the room, hoping to catch my family's entrance, but they were already seated and looking everywhere, but at me.

"My parents were killed in an accident over Thanksgiving," I said, sniffling slightly—why not to play it up a little? "I don't like to talk about it much, but there was lots of legal stuff I don't understand." I rubbed my left eye with the side of my fist, hoping they didn't notice that it was actually dry. They all just gaped at me. I wondered if I was laying it on a little thick, or if they actually believed me. What I wouldn't give to be able to read minds at that point.

I looked across the room and met Edward's gaze. He nodded in encouragement. Even with my terrible acting skills, the kids seemed to believe me.

"Why were you sent to Forks?" Lauren asked. "I could think of a million different places that would be better." She mumbled something else I couldn't quite make out.

What a snot!

I wanted to throttle her skinny, little neck. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward shooting daggers at her. The phrase if looks could kill floated through my mine. Alice reached across the table and rubbed his shoulder. I wanted to be the one doing that.

I gasped a couple of times before continuing my story. The story, the façade, was more important at this time.

"For some reason my mom and dad wanted me to live with Carlisle if something happened, since he's so good with kids and all. But it took really long, though… 'cause of the legal stuff." I looked down and covered my face with my right hand. "Can we stop talking about it now, please?" Maybe I was going overboard, but I wasn't sure.

"So what's it like living with them?" Jessica pushed.

"What do you mean?" I sniffed a few times and tried to look like I was gathering myself together. Again I wiped away a non-existent tear.

"I mean, is it true that they're all together. Like together, together."

"Um, yeah, I guess." I croaked a little and cleared my throat. She pursed her lips at my words. "But it's not like they're related." I shook my head. "Well, Rosalie and Jasper are, but the others aren't."

"And Edward's the only single one?"

Back off, girly.

"Yeah, he doesn't have a girlfriend." I thought that maybe my switch from grief to aggression may have been too abrupt, but no one seemed to notice.

"He's incredibly handsome," she said in the understatement of the century. "But apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him."

I nearly laughed out loud, but bit my lip to prevent such an outburst. She'd clearly been turned down at some point. I looked to the table of vampires in the room. Edward was not looking in our direction, but I could tell that his cheek was raised in his patented half smile. So he was listening in.

"I don't know about that," I said, feeling the need to defend him, though I was beginning to see her as a rival also. Since he was hearing all of this, I planned to lay it on thick. "He's a really nice guy, not like that at all. He's kind of shy, though. I don't know if he's ever dated."

"Not here he hasn't," Jessica said—she'd been paying too much attention for my taste. "And he was like fourteen or fifteen when they moved here. Did he date in Alaska?"

"Um… I really don't know," I replied, shrugging. "Our parents were friends, but I didn't see the kids much. My parents just knew Carlisle and Esme were raising a lot of kids, and that they were really loving, so—"

"You didn't know them before?" She sounded incredulous.

"Well, I knew Carlisle. I saw him a lot. But Esme and the kids I only saw a couple of times. And I was really shy, so I didn't hang with the kids much."

So you're not going to get much out of me, Jess.

"Carlisle and Esme are really young, though, right? Why'd they adopt kids so young?"

"I don't know." I looked to the table, annoyed by her tone. Even if it was a false story, she angered me, as if people were bad for helping other people. I tried to control my voice. "I never thought of it. I mean, they're just really good people. They took me in when I needed them, no questions asked. I guess they did the same for the others."

"Oh," she replied. I'd clearly not kept my tone in check, because when I looked up she seemed frightened to say anything.

"Sorry," I said. "I'm going through a hard time, and they've been so kind to me…when they didn't have to be."

"Sure." She smiled half-heartedly. "So what are the others like?"

"Alice is great." I looked to the table and found Edward staring at me, watching my every movement. "She is the sister I always wished for."

"Are you an only child?"

"Yeah." I sighed. "My parents never had any other kids. But I guess that was better."

She asked more questions about my life and I answered with the lies we'd formulated. During a lull in the conversation, I realized that I hadn't thought about my past once since I'd arrived. The present had been enough to keep those thoughts from my mind. I was beginning to wonder whether assimilating into the teenage human world was going to help, when the bell ending lunch rang.

A few seconds later, a blond boy popped up behind Jessica. He was cute, but I felt very uncomfortable around him. I didn't want him near me, let alone looking at me the way he was.

"Hey, Jessica," he greeted, not really facing her, though she didn't seem to mind.

Jessica blushed and giggled as he continued to not even look at her. Her eye batting distracted me momentarily from my nervousness—he was apparently her new crush.

"What's up?" he asked.

She jumped up to face him. "Not much, Mike. How're you?" Her voice was sweet and excited. I wondered if this was how I sounded when I talked to Edward, overly eager and completely infatuated.

"Good." He smiled, dismissing her easily. "You're Isabella, right?" His words and demeanor were kind, but there was something about him that frightened me, though I wasn't sure what it was.

"Bella. Just Bella." I swallowed almost audibly, as the lump in my throat wouldn't dislodge.

"Bella," he said. Even his voice set the hairs on the back of my neck up. The way he said my name sounded proprietary already. "I like that. I'm Mike, which you already know. So… what's your next class?"

"Biology with Banner," I answered begrudgingly, fear choking me. My unease was becoming greater and greater, the flight instinct nearly impossible to resist.

"Mine, too," he answered brightly, not noticing my discomfort. "We should—"

"Mine, too." Edward's velvety voice seemed like an angel's as he saved me from having to walk with Mike. My anxiety level dropped; Edward would never let anyone harm me in any way. It was amazing how suddenly the feeling of security washed over me.

"I promised Bella I'd walk with her." He looked down at me. "We're going to be late if we don't leave now." He held out his hand and I grasped it readily.

Thanks. I stood up, using his hand for leverage.

I thought I'd save you from the evil clutches of Newton. He thought his name with a sneer.

Don't like him much? I released his hand, and he lifted one side of his mouth in response.

"Yeah, Mike, I'm sorry." I shrugged as Edward picked up my bag. "Thanks anyway."

"Sure," Mike said, his shoulders drooping a little.

With Edward near, I could relax slightly and allow Mike some room. He hadn't actually done anything to make me feel ill at ease. In fact, he'd only been welcoming, and watching his face fall when I'd turned him down had softened me to him, though I still didn't trust him.

Edward handed me my backpack and we began the walk to class. "See you later, Mike," I called as we walked through the door. My conscience had begun to make its presence known.

"Thanks." I sighed when we were out of sight of the cafeteria.

"You didn't seem comfortable back there." He fought the smile that was threatening. "Was Mike bothering you?"

"I'm glad you find humor in the situation," I said acerbically. "And no, he wasn't bothering me."

He laughed. "You could have fooled me. The look on your face—"

"Wait! Look on my face?" I narrowed my eyes at him. "You were behind me."

He pointed to his temple, and raised his eyebrows while shaking his head.

"No fair," I whined. "Through Mike's eyes?"

He nodded.

"What was he thinking?" I whispered. "Did he notice I was frightened? Was I that obvious?"

"No, I just have experience reading your face," he said. "He didn't notice anything. He's fairly oblivious to what goes on around him. And I don't think you want to know what was going through his mind. Besides, I wouldn't repeat those things to you anyway."

I sighed again. "Thank God." I looked to the floor. "Was he being crude about me?"

"No," he growled quietly. "He was just thinking things that typical seventeen year old boys think. It wasn't different from what I've heard all the other boys think about you today."

I couldn't place the odd tone to his voice. Was he jealous? No, that couldn't be.

"Well, I'm glad to have my white knight there to save me again." I smiled. "You're becoming more like a superhero, my very own Superman."

"I'm no hero, Bella." He was solemn and quiet, the exact opposite of what I'd expected in response to my teasing. "You know that. I'm more like the bad guy."

"Bad guy?" I laughed. "I knew you had some sort of self-hatred issue, Edward. But that's going too far. And you think I don't see myself clearly."

"You have no idea, Bella. My being around you puts you in the worst kind of danger."

"Listen, I don't want to argue with you," I said. "I've had enough of that to last for a while. Let's just go to class."

I turned to look at him, but he was a few feet behind me, a wry smile on his face.

"Let's," he said, pointing to the door beside him.

I rolled my eyes and walked into the classroom.

The day's lecture was on cellular anatomy and not at all interesting. I zoned out most of the class, coming to my senses moments before the bell rang. I heard a low grumble, quiet enough for only me to hear, from Edward's direction as the bell rang.

"What?" I asked quietly.

"Newton," he answered.

I took a deep breath and let it out, puffing my cheeks.

"He wants to walk you to your next class."

Once again, the nervous feeling invaded my stomach. "He doesn't give up, does he?"

"Not once he's picked his target." He shook his head. "Hurry and I'll get you to your next class before he comes." He helped me shove everything into my bag, and once again pulled me from my seat.

We rushed from the room and over to where my coat was kept. Like a true gentleman, Edward held out my coat and bag for me. I suppressed a sigh, and grabbed my bag. Although I'd love him to carry it, I didn't want to appear like a love struck teenager in some sappy 60's sitcom. We stepped into the chilly air and began walking over to the gym.

About ten yards away from the science building, I began laughing uncontrollably, the absurdity of my situation finally taking its toll. Not only was I too old to be around these children as their peer, but my companion was someone who was over one hundred years old and a vampire. To top it all off, we were both running from a seventeen year old boy, a boy who probably couldn't hurt a fly—no matter how much my body didn't want to believe that fact.

After a few seconds, Edward's laughter joined mine. As always, I tried to commit the sound to memory. I didn't know how many times I had left to hear it. Our laughter was still filling the air when we reached the doors of the gym. I didn't want to let him go, but I knew I had to. My laughter stopped abruptly.

"Gym." I sighed. "My favorite class."

"I could try to find a way to spring you."

"I'm sure that would go over well." Without thinking, I reached out my arms to give him a hug. Once I realized what I was doing, I pulled back. He seemed odd about public displays of affection.

Before I knew it, he had wrapped his arms around me. "I'll keep Newton away if he bothers you that much."

"No, it's fine." I shook my head. "I don't know why I feel like that about him. It's just weird."

"He won't bother you," Edward said ominously.

"Don't do anything rash." I tried to look stern, but really, how stern can a small girl look to a god? Mike walked by as I was staring Edward down.

Great! Another class with him.

"Everything will be well thought out and planned."

My stomach leapt to my throat. I didn't want him getting into any trouble over me.

"No, you won't do anything," I said firmly. "Now, I'm going to go to gym. You're going to go to…wherever you go next."

"Spanish."

"Spanish. And nothing will be done."

He still looked defiant.

"Promise me."

There was no answer or even change to his facial expression.

"Promise me," I said more forcefully.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "I promise."

"You promise that you won't do anything to or having to do with Mike Newton?"

"I promise I won't."

"Thank you," I whispered. "I'll just have to get over my issues on my own. I'll try to start this next class. See you after school." I turned to the door and walked into the lockers, preparing for an unpleasant next hour. Coupling the perils of gym with the anxiety created by Mike Newton was not on my list of fun things to do.

Luckily, I didn't have to dress for gym. We were switching to a new activity, volleyball, so class was spent on the bleachers while the teacher explained the rules. I tried not to sit near Mike, but he found me first. As the class dragged on, he kept striking up conversations with me. The minutes passed quickly, and I realized that he really was sweet and friendly. I still felt my unwarranted fear from earlier, but I was able to override the sensation.

By the end of class, I was feeling more comfortable with everything. When I walked through the doors, and out into the cool air, both Alice and Edward were waiting for me.

"Hey, guys." My smile was genuine. Though I was unhappy that nothing new had come to light, I had survived my first day, and I was going home.

* * *

As always, thanks for reading. :D

Mike is NOT going to be the "bad guy" here. Don't worry about that.

Edward will get his stuff together... at some point.


	17. Accident

Thank you for reviewing LC! I am in the process of responding to reviews. I should have them all done tonight or tomorrow. I love and appreciate them all.

Thanks to all the people who have added LC to their favorites or their alerts.

As always, if anyone is still reading, you rock.

My permanent betas are wonderful. Thanks so much, Strider and jfka06.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

* * *

17. Accident

The ride back from school was quiet, but enjoyable. It wasn't necessary to fill the silence with idle chit-chat. As we neared the house, I found that although I'd liked getting out into the "real" world, I was still pleased to return home. Though I had a lot to do—essays to write, math problems to solve, a past to reconstruct—I really just wanted a lazy afternoon. It was my first day; I could afford to slack a little. I was about to walk up to my room, when the ever-responsible Edward suggested homework.

"I'm going to run off and see what Jazz is doing," Alice said from the top of the stairs. "Have fun."

"See you later," I called. Even though she was no longer in sight, she'd still hear me. I was upset to see Alice go, but happy for alone time with Edward. I treasured these moments with him, and I had a theory I was working on. To be sure of said theory, I needed to observe him as much as possible in his native environment. Of course, that really just gave me a reason to do what I already wanted, anyway. "Do we _have_ to do homework now?" I truly sounded like a whiny teenager.

_Persona perfected!_

His responding smirk showed that he'd noticed as well. "You need good grades to get into the best college possible, Bella." His words and tone were both serious, like that of an adult chiding a child, so I couldn't be sure if he was kidding. But he had to be.

"Yeah, well, I'm kind of hoping this," I gestured to myself, "isn't too permanent a thing." I pulled my bag from my shoulder.

He eyed the inoffensive backpack, twisting his lips as if something about it annoyed him. Then, as quickly as it had come, the expression vanished. "Don't we all hope for that," he said, a teasing smile playing on his lips, but his eyes were guarded. "You know, I wish you would have let me carry that in."

As if I couldn't carry a five pound bag. "I'm a big girl."

"I never said you weren't." He tilted his head, looking at me through his lashes in what I was beginning to recognize as a persuasion technique—I was usually persuaded. "You may not be Alice's size, but you're still pretty tiny."

I lowered my eyebrows and set my jaw, refusing to be dazzled. From his expression, it appeared my stink-eye was working its magic.

"I'm stronger; it would be nothing to me." He forced a smile while uttering his paper-thin excuses. "Besides, you trip... a lot. It would be one less thing to distract you."

_Oh, really?_

"Ha. Ha." I looked to my bare wrist, pretending to read a watch. "I didn't get the schedule for today. Is it 'let's make fun of poor uncoordinated Bella' time _already_?"

It wasn't necessary for him to rub in that he was practically perfect. That was obvious just by looking at him. Although I was slightly annoyed at his insinuation, a tiny voice began whispering. Maybe there was something beyond his light teasing. Maybe he wanted to be kind to me, to take care of me. Eleazar, Carlisle and Alice had all mentioned Edward's desire to protect me.

Could there be more to it than that? Could he actually feel an inkling of what I felt toward him? Was his behavior the vampire way of showing such an emotion?

Though these thoughts were exciting, they were in some ways uncomfortable and frightening too. I didn't know how to handle anything more than sibling love toward me. That was overwhelming enough without adding in the complications of my life. How could I make any permanent decisions when I didn't know what my future that would bring? I didn't know where I came _from_, let alone where I was _going_. This affected everything I did, every choice I made. How could I hope for a stable future without roots to ground me?

He laughed, pulling me from my thoughts. "Your streak of independence would be much more appreciated if it wasn't aimed at me constantly."

My best course of action was to continue teasing, keeping it light. Humor was familiar, something I could handle. "That's just because the others don't feel the need to exert their will over me...constantly."

He shook his head and chuckled. "Let's just get to work," he said, gesturing to the coffee table like he was offering me a chair at a fancy restaurant.

I sat and set all my books before me.

It took Edward all of five minutes to finish while I slogged laboriously for over an hour. I finally closed my last book and sat up straighter, looking over to the piano where he was playing quiet background music. It sounded familiar, like the tune I'd heard him humming before.

"Okay," I moaned. "I surrender. This stuff has definitely tortured me enough for one afternoon."

Moments later, Esme walked from the kitchen carrying a small bowl filled to the brim with chopped fruit and nuts.

"Here you go," she said, placing the bowl on an empty space in front of my trig book. "I'm sure you're hungry."

Edward smirked. "Esme Cullen, the perfect fifties sitcom mother. June Cleaver would have had nothing on you."

"Hey!" I exclaimed. "She's being kind. Besides, you fulfill a similar role often enough with the way you take care of me. Are you Doris Day or Laura Petrie?"

"She's got you there." Esme laughed as she sat beside me.

"Two against one," he protested. "How is that fair?"

"Hasn't anyone ever told you life isn't fair?" I asked. "And you started it. If you can't stand the heat..."

"Get out of the kitchen?" he finished. "See if I cook for you again."

"I don't need you." I smiled sweetly, and wrapped my arm around my stand-in mother. "I have Esme. You don't do _anything_ she doesn't do." If that wasn't the biggest lie I'd ever said, I wasn't sure what was. "And that way, the kitchen wouldn't look like a war zone where a battle had been lost to a bowl of flour."

"I'm sure it's not true that you don't need him," Esme stated, seeing Edward's face drop. "He drives you to school."

"True," I agreed. "He does do that. So he's my chauffer." I couldn't think of any sitcom chauffers.

"Speaking of driving," Edward interrupted, "wasn't someone supposed to get behind the wheel this afternoon?"

I blanched. I'd been eager this morning, but now with the reality of driving, I was nervous. "Oh, yeah." I stood up awkwardly and pulled my shirt down. "I'm ready to go if you are."

"I'm nervous already."

"I'm sure I won't be that bad." I rolled my eyes at him.

"You'll do fine," he said. "However, you should eat first, then we'll go."

"I'm not that hungry," I said. "I can wait." But my stomach betrayed me, and since the strawberries and blueberries in the fruit salad looked so appealing, I picked out a couple. "Okay, let me just have a tiny snack."

I popped the berries in my mouth, picked up the bowl and headed to the kitchen. "You coming?" I asked Edward as I walked through the door.

As usual, the kitchen was spotless, even though Esme had only just cut up the fruit. I leaned against the pristine counter and practically inhaled the food. I almost felt bad placing my bowl in the empty dishwasher after I was finished.

"You looked like you enjoyed the fruit," Edward said.

I looked up to see him leaning against the wall next to the back door. In that instant, I wanted to pounce on him. He looked almost as appealing as the fruit had before—in a different way of course. I tamped down the urge and fought to keep myself beside the dishwasher.

"It was very good."

I could feel my heart rate picking up and knew he'd hear it. Trying to calm myself down, I looked away and fought to think of something boring. The homework problems I'd had difficulty with fit the bill. As the numbers and formulas played in my head, I felt my body calm. Hopefully he would just chalk up my reaction to nerves about driving. I _was_ worried about the impending lesson.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

"Yep." It was a lie, but I had to get over my fear if I wanted more independence, and I wasn't sure I'd _ever_ be ready.

"You'll need a coat," he said. "It is January. You'll freeze without it." He held my jacket out by the shoulders, so I could just slide into it.

He wants me warm? Another check in the 'Edward likes me' column. One day in high school and I'm wondering if he like likes me.

As we walked to the garage, my thoughts about Edward played on repeat. I wondered if he had romantic feelings for me. I decided to wait and watch. If it were true, his behavior would be obvious. It was best to be certain rather than jump in without any indication of his true feelings. I'd rather he make the first move. If I was wrong, how would I be comfortable in the only home I'd ever known? I would let this situation play itself out as I waited and watched… for now.

"Which car are we going to use?" I asked when we stepped through the door.

"Emmett's Jeep."

"Afraid I'll ruin your shiny paint job?"

There was no response.

"Course, I'm sure you could easily buy a new car if I did."

"Of course," he agreed. "That would be _no_ problem."

I rolled my eyes in response even if he couldn't see it.

"Let's begin." He turned to me and smiled impishly. I knew there was something brewing underneath the surface.

"Let's."

"This is a key," Edward said, turning toward me. He held out a black and silver object with a broad grin on his face. "It both unlocks _and_ starts the car." He spoke with mock solemnity.

"I'm forgetful, not stupid," I huffed.

He laughed. "No, really, where do you want to start? What do you remember?"

"I don't know." I tried to bring to mind anything to do with driving, but there was nothing. "I guess I should just get behind the wheel and go from there?"

He nodded and dropped the key in my waiting hand. "Sounds good."

I followed him toward the enormous red Jeep, wondering how I'd get into it without breaking my neck or embarrassing myself thoroughly. Strangely enough, I worried more about the second possibility.

He cleared his throat—unnecessarily, I was sure. "Let me help you up. It's far from the ground, and the harness can be difficult."

"Um… sure." I was glad he'd offered. That thing was a death trap… at least for me. I'd probably fall to my doom if I tried it on my own. I turned to face him.

He wrapped his hands around my waist, his long fingers nearly spanning my back. After a second of lingering there, he breathed deeply, then lifted me up effortlessly. He placed me on the seat and started moving the straps around my shoulders. His fingertips brushed along my neck, spurring that rush of energy I always felt when we touched. It took all my will not to moan and lean against his hands as they swept across my bare skin.

He was so close; his face merely inches from mine. I noticed his breathing had become slightly labored, as had mine. I wondered if he felt the connection I did. Unable to pull my eyes from his full lips, I focused on inhaling and exhaling. What would it feel like to press my lips against his? Would they be as firm as his skin seemed to be? Would they be as cold?

His lips parted slightly, though it appeared he was no longer breathing. I licked mine in response, and he swallowed loudly. This was one more item I would have to add to the ever growing "maybe the others are right about his feelings" list. But at that moment, I couldn't even gather my thoughts enough to care.

Even with the tension thick in the air, his sweet scent filled my senses completely. I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, I was finally able to draw my attention from his lips to his deep amber eyes. I lost myself there, seeing to the depths of his soul. I liked—no loved—what I saw. As he gazed back, he seemed to like what he saw as well.

His face drew nearer, his scent stronger. Abruptly, his hand came up to caress my cheek.

"Bella?" he breathed.

"Yes?" My voice was just as breathy, just as strained.

"We should really get on with your lesson."

_Lesson? What lesson?_

"Sorry?"

"Driving," he said a little stronger. "Your lesson?"

He pulled back, his face coming back into focus.

"That's right," I grumbled. No kiss, yet again.

Almost instantaneously, he was sitting in the passenger's seat. "Ready?" he asked yet again.

_More than you'll ever know._

I plastered a smile on my face. "As I'll ever be."

"Are you nervous?"

A burst of laughter broke free. "I'll put it this way... looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue."

He lifted one eyebrow and then I wasn't the only one laughing. "It's strange that you can quote lines from movies you don't remember seeing."

"Isn't it just? The mind is a funny thing." I turned back to the dashboard and sighed. There had to be a reason I wasn't remembering, and I wasn't sure I wanted to know why. I pushed the negative thought away, and turned the key in the ignition. After the car was purring, I placed my hands at ten and two on the wheel. Suddenly a cool white hand covered my right.

"You'll do fine." He squeezed gently. "But I can tell you were taught to drive prior to airbags_." If we get into an accident, you'll break your wrists. _"You need to put your hands at eight and four now." He tenderly moved my hands along the smooth leather of the wheel. "Like this."

"Okay." I placed my right hand on the gear shift and pressed the button on the side, smoothly moving the lever to R. "Let's go."

I backed out of the garage slowly and drove around to front of the house. Alice and Jasper were standing on the front porch as we passed. Alice was bouncing and waving, while Jasper stood stoically beside her, with a small smile on his movie star face.

I inched down the driveway, barely shifting the orange indicator on the speedometer. Every curve frightened me. I assumed it was best to take them as slowly as possible so that when I inevitably ran into a tree, I would do minimal damage to the car and me.

"You can actually hit the gas pedal, Bella." Edward said dryly. "This car will go faster than five miles an hour."

"I'm _aware_ of that." I was driving slowly, but the Cullen driveway was also a twisting, turning pathway of danger. It had never seemed so treacherous before. Was it even wide enough for this monster-sized car?

"Why don't you go a _little_ faster?"

"Shhh."

"Are you _trying_ to torture me?" His exasperated sigh destroyed my concentration.

I stepped on the brake. "I should have started at the main road. The driveway is too winding. It scares me."

He grabbed my hand.

_I'm sorry. You're doing fine. Just stop worrying._

_Stop worrying? _I narrowed my eyes. _Good luck with that._

I was always worrying, especially about my lack of coordination. Couple that with a ton of expensive machinery, and I was an accident waiting to happen.

_Your lack of self-confidence is your own worst enemy._

He loosened his grip and moved to my arm, running his hand up and down my bicep gently, soothingly.

"Breathe, then start again."

I took a long drawn out breath and began driving toward the road again. How could three miles take so long?

Edward withdrew his touch to prevent distracting me, then was silent as we traveled the rest of the way. As we neared the end—I could only assume as I'd been driving for an _eternity_—he spoke again. "Turn right when you get to the road." He was clearly in full teaching mode.

I found the situation humorous, now that I'd become slightly more comfortable behind the wheel. Maybe I actually could do this driving thing.

"Yes, sir." I briefly entertained the idea of saluting him, but decided against it... for now. No need to annoy him when he was trying to help. Plus, I didn't want to tempt fate by taking my hand off the wheel. Otherwise, it could be a case of car meet tree.

I drove around the last bend, still taking the curve slower than was necessary, but this time I was _trying_ to provoke him. When I came to the paved road, I pressed the pedal on the left, and the vehicle came to a complete stop, just like it was supposed to. Everything was in full working order.

Unfortunately, I hit the handle for directional down, turning the left blinker on.

"Oops! You said right."

I pushed the lever up a little too roughly, my frozen fingers—I hadn't turned on the heat—slipping rather than gripping, and wound up turning on the windshield wipers somehow. The left light still blinked and clicked rhythmically.

"Sorry."

I searched in vain to find how I'd activated the annoying wipers while they squeaked their lovely "dry rubber dragging across a glass surface" duet, frustrating me more. Then, the wiper on the rear window began to join in the cacophony—_a trio, how nice_.

"Ugh!"

The quiet chuckle next to me pulled me from my frustration with the Jeep, instead focusing it on the individual in the bucket seat to my right. I turned to him, pressing against the wheel in my frustration. The loud horn honked, and the radio turned on. Was the whole orchestra going to join in?

"Instead of laughing, you could help, you know," I snarled. I spun to face forward again. "Tell me how to work this… this thing." Thrusting my hands forward, I once again hit the car horn.

Edward laughed, then reached in front of me to push a few levers and buttons. As always, my pounded in my ears. His cheek was so close. I could just sit forward a little and nuzzle into it.

_What? Nuzzle? Are you a _cat_ now, Bella?_

No nuzzling took place, though I thought I heard myself purr. If I did, Edward never said anything—thank heaven for small favors. Within seconds, we were sitting in a car with only the blinker ticking rhythmically, calmly.

A few minutes later, we were driving along the deserted road toward town. While I became acquainted with driving, he led me through Forks and around some of the outskirts, pointing out different areas of interest, places to eat, a logging museum and a few other places. We passed a small sign pointing to an area called La Push. That sounded familiar, though I wasn't sure why.

"Can we go there sometime?" I asked while gesturing to the sign.

"No," he said a little too abruptly.

"Why not?"

"That leads to Quileute land."

I remembered Alice's words from our trip to Victoria. The Quileutes knew what the Cullens were, and as a result, the Cullens weren't allowed on their land. My presence put their tenuous treaty at risk. Once again, an awareness of my selfishness consumed me. Did it have no bounds?

"Do you think my being with you guys will cause problems?"

"I'm not sure, Bella." He shook his head. "But that doesn't matter. We'll handle whatever comes our way."

"I hate to be a bother. But it seems like that's all I've been since I came here."

"You're never a bother." He practically growled. "Don't _ever_ say that."

I looked to him. His eyes were blazing.

"All right. I'll drop it."

I analyzed his overreaction to my self-deprecation. It seemed to be yet another nail in the proverbial coffin. Why would he be so strongly against what I'd said? Emmett probably would have teased me, and he was the closest thing I had to a big brother. But Edward took the opposite approach; at times actually getting upset when I spoke about myself negatively. Each of his actions seemed to allude to one thing: he did _care_ for me. I continued to wait and watch.

By the end of the week, my theory about Edward felt solid. Well, solid enough, anyway. We spent every afternoon driving around town. After I got over my nerves that first time, everything else seemed easy. I even drove a manual transmission car a few times—Alice had gotten a fancy yellow car that she allowed me to try. That particular task was daunting, but worth learning. I worried about harming her car, but she didn't seem to care.

I only wound up stalling ten, maybe twenty, times. Luckily, Edward did not get frustrated at all. Of course, I didn't start driving the switchback of their driveway with the stick. He drove to the local Safeway parking lot, and I started there.

After I had mastered that task, I wasn't sure what we were going to do. However, I knew I didn't want to lose my time with Edward. I enjoyed our little bubble of space.

On Friday afternoon, Edward came up to me around our usual driving time. "I don't think you need any more lessons with the car."

"Oh," I said, my voice a little sad. "I guess all good things have to end. I had fun, though."

"I didn't say you weren't going to have a lesson today."

"No… you didn't?"

He grabbed my forearm and pulled me to my feet gently.

I warily followed as he led the way to his piano. "A music lesson?"

"Yes."

"I can barely walk across a smooth, steady surface. What makes you think I can move my fingers to the rhythm of any sort of beat?"

He laughed. "Just try, Bella."

"I'll try, but I can't be responsible for injuries done to myself or your beloved piano."

"We'll start simple," he said as he pointed to the bench. "There'll be no casualties."

"Okay." I sat woodenly. He was so talented in this arena, and I was sure to make an idiot out of myself. "What first?"

"You'll need to move over so I can sit."

"Oops!" I giggled nervously. If he had been mediocre playing the piano, maybe I wouldn't have been so anxious but, well, I couldn't be so lucky. I scooted over and patted the wooden seat.

While staring at the keys, half expecting them to spring to life and begin snapping at me, something poked insistently at the wall surrounding my mind, a memory attempting to resurface. I pushed back, hoping to unlock the combination that would allow this little piece of _me_ to slip through the thin, yet seemingly impenetrable membrane that surrounded my past.

"Bella?"

All my prior nervousness about starting something new melted away as frustration took its place. I was so close to... to... to something, but it wouldn't reveal itself.

"I'm ready," I grumbled. He took my response as my aversion against starting anything new.

"This is middle C," he said, pressing a key to the left of one of the many black keys.

I reached out tentatively and pressed the same key. "C." The sound was rich, but barely audible. I pulled my hand back. "Maybe I'm not cut out—"

"You need to press harder."

I pushed down a little harder than I'd meant, and the note echoed throughout the room, the sound resonating.

Suddenly, I was transported. I could see what was before me, but I could also see this… this _vision_.

I was sitting on a bench, black and white keys displayed before me. But the instrument in front of me was not as grand as Edward's piano. Though it was old and tattered, showing its antiquity, it was clean and polished to its fullest potential, also clearly showing how loved it was. It was a simple upright with some kind of dark wood veneer.

I looked around the room again. Oddly, the walls seemed to switch between floral patterned wallpaper and dark paneling. With the backdrop of the floral pattern, the image was well-defined. I could easily see the pink and blue flowers and green vines that comprised the pattern. The paneling, however, was quite blurry, I could make out the dark lines that gave the illusion of different pieces of wood, but that was all. The actual wood grain was impossible to discern.

I wondered how a memory could seem to take place in two different rooms. Perhaps it was multiple memories meshing together? Strange.

I looked to my left and met the blue eyes of a brown-haired woman. Mother, my mind told me. Mommy. Mom. She was completely clear, not blurry like some bits of this memory. We weren't alone in the room. Slightly behind her stood a man with dark hair and dark eyes. As with the faux wood walls, he was hazy, so much so that I could barely make him out. I could only tell that he was a male figure.

The woman—my mother, I reminded myself—placed my hands on the keyboard, pointing out the middle C, much as Edward had. The love and pride in her eyes was unmistakable.

I pressed the key. My hands were much smaller and chubbier, a child's. The room was tiny when compared with the Cullens' living room, and the sound from the piano was muffled quickly by the cushy surroundings.

"A natural, isn't she?" the woman asked the dark-haired man. As she spoke, she blurred, becoming as impossible to see as the man behind her.

Then, he disappeared altogether and she came into focus again.

"Your grandmother will be so proud of you. We'll have to call her later and have you play her something."

"Okay," a voice that was like mine, but higher, said.

"Teach her something," the man said. His voice was so distorted and faded that it was nearly impossible to understand him. It was almost like listening to a warped record under water.

The memory sped by and the child's hands were banging out a rough rendition of "Mary Had a Little Lamb." After another fast forward, an equally horrible "Joy to the World" was being played before the receiver of a telephone.

The woman beamed, while the blurry man stayed in the background. Though I couldn't make out his face, I could feel the pride and pure love emanating from him. Was he my father?

"Bella?" Edward's voice pulled me from my memory and back to the present. "Are you all right?"

"I think so," I said, sounding slightly breathy. "I kind of just went away for a little while." I smiled. "I remember my parents...well, my mother really. At least, that's who I think she was. And it was when I was very little. Five, maybe six… I think."

"And?"

"It was amazing." I looked forward, trying to see the memory keyboard. "It seemed like she was teaching me to play the piano."

I paused pressing a key, then a few others, a simple tune coming from the piano. "It was strange. There was a man there, too, my father perhaps. But I couldn't focus on him." My voice became distant. "The surroundings kept changing and things kept going between blurry and clear. Weird."

"A memory," he said. He sighed, then took a deep breath. "Well, that's great." His voice was cheery, but fake. I was too wrapped in my own head, trying to force more of the past, to look at him

"Yeah, I guess so." I finally turned to him. His eyes were distant. "But it doesn't help anything."

"No, but it's a start."

"A start..." I shrugged. "Maybe, but I don't feel any others rattling around in there." I pointed to my head, my high from remembering something wearing off.

Days passed and what had been a novelty turned into a routine. Unfortunately, no new memories surfaced. On Monday, the usual damp of the incessant rain changed into snow, the constant tap… tap… tap from the drops silenced for once. Although I didn't remember ever seeing snow, I wasn't too pleased as it fell. Sure, it provided a break from the monotony but the little white bits of cotton falling from the sky just reminded me that it was too cold to rain.

The next morning, I stepped out of the kitchen door toward the hangar-sized garage. When I looked up from the ground—I'd been trying to avoid falling down the back steps—my eyes were met with beauty beyond comparison. The world glistened, even in the muted light filtering through the omnipresent clouds. A thin coating of ice covered everything in sight. The snow from the day before had quickly turned into a freezing rain. Overnight, the rain had transformed the green world of Forks into a winter wonderland. I stood in awe at the utter perfection before me.

Suddenly, a chilly finger pushed up on my chin, closing my mouth, and a quiet chuckle sounded next to me.

"Are you all right, Bella?" Alice asked, an amused tone to her voice.

"It's so beautiful."

_That's right, when someone questions Bella's sanity, she gives them even more incentive by giving strange answers. _

_Then she thinks about herself in third person._

I faced her. "What I mean is, I don't remember ever seeing something so pretty. It's so much nicer than rain."

"You get used to rain," Alice said. "Well, living _here_ you do."

"I suppose." I looked out at the trees again. "I bet that it would be amazing if the sun were shining. It would be like the world was covered in crystal or diamonds, all shimmering and sparkling."

"Sounds spectacular," Alice said.

"Mmmm." I was imagining the scene, the colors glittering and dancing around as the breeze moved the branches of the trees ever so slightly. "Pity it would never last. It would have to stay frozen for that to happen." I didn't hate the cold, but I couldn't imagine living in it continuously.

"I'll meet you at the car," Edward said quietly. I watched him retreat behind the garage wall.

"Yes, but it would never lose its beauty." I didn't know why Alice whispered—surely Edward could hear her words as clearly as he was hearing her thoughts. There was some sort of subterfuge in her demeanor. I had the feeling we weren't talking about the trees anymore, but I couldn't see how sparkling ice and cold had to do with anything else.

"True. But who wants to be cold all the time?"

Her laughter spread through the air, making the moment almost ethereal. "We'd better get going." She stepped toward the open garage door.

"I guess so," I replied, willing my body to follow. "This going-to-school thing isn't all it's cracked up to be." I yawned. "I'm exhausted."

"Well, if you weren't up until all hours talking to my brother, maybe you wouldn't be so tired."

"I don't stay up until all hours," I grumbled. I just didn't want to miss any time with him.

"Bella, you were up until one AM. Don't tell me that's not all hours."

"Yeah, maybe I should go to bed earlier tonight. I feel like such a light-weight."

"You can't keep up with a vampire," she said airily as she walked through the door. "Don't even try."

"Who's trying?" I joked.

The ride to school flew—as did Edward's car; he drove much quicker than I would have, given the icy state of the roads. I was amazed that my heart didn't burst through my chest as it beat erratically. Luckily, I had taken the rear passenger seat, so I didn't see the most frightening aspects of the drive.

When we were getting out of the Volvo, I noticed that Edward had pulled in one of the last spaces in the lot. There was an empty space a few cars down from Mike. Strangely, Edward hadn't taken it—it was closer to the school. We had more than enough time, so there was no need to rush, I guessed. But still I needed to make my way across the minefield of ice safely—an impossible feat.

"See ya," Alice called, racing off to her husband. "Have a great day." I was jealous of her grace as she rushed away.

Gingerly, I made my way to the front of the car. I slipped a few times, but thankfully never actually fell. I had just stepped out from in between the cars and looked to find Edward. For some reason, he was still standing by his door with an odd expression on his face.

Out of nowhere, I heard a high-pitched screech. I turned to the sound, just in time to see a large van, Tyler's van, sliding through the lot at a breakneck speed. The ice had proved to be a formidable opponent, and Tyler's traction had lost. The van was spinning out of control toward the empty space I'd noticed earlier.

It slammed against the small compact parked next to Mike's truck. The noise of metal against metal was deafening and grating. I was instantly relieved that no one was in between those two cars. There was no way they would have survived. Unfortunately, the van didn't rest against the tiny compact. Instead, it whipped around and into the front of the Suburban. The large blue van lifted up slightly on one set of wheels and then slammed to the ground.

My cry of "oh no" joined the myriad of expletives and yelling that followed after the van had stopped moving. I began running toward the scene. Tyler was going to _need_ help. As I neared Mike's truck, my feet came out from under me. I screamed as the ground came up to meet my face. Before I could hit it, though, something hard hit the side of my head, and I blacked out.

* * *

End Notes:

What can I say? Some things are just meant to happen.

So, um, writer's block has prevented me from writing anything recently. So I know this has been forever in posting. I apologize.

My laptop is yet again on the fritz and needs to be sent out. So who knows how long until the next chapter.

We all knows who shows up to the accident.

Don't forget to nom people for the Fandom People Awards: http:/www(dot)twificpimps(dot)com/fandompplawards/nominations/

I've nommed my fave betas and reviewers. Love ya guys.

Doris Day and Laura Petrie were old sitcom mothers. I needed to look them up, so if you didn't get that, I wouldn't be surprised! Lol

I'm not sure about the 8 and 4 thing. I was told this had been changed to this due to air bags. But no one else I know has heard this. For purposes of my fic, this is true.


	18. Interrogation

A|N:

Thank you for reviewing LC! I love and appreciate them all.

Thanks to all the people who have added LC to their favorites or their alerts.

As always, if anyone is still reading, you rock.

My permanent betas are wonderful. Thanks so much, Strider and jfka06.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

A reviewer asked how Bella couldn't associate the ice covered trees with the sun sparkling vamps. Well, Bella has never seen any of the Cullens in the sun. From Alice's advice, they've all been very careful about that. In essence, Alice has kept that fact for Edward to show Bella, so she doesn't know.

Someone asked for a summary next time I posted. That was a great idea. Here it is:

**RECAP**:

Bella woke up lost, alone and afraid. She wandered but found no one until Alice, Esme and Carlisle found her. They took her into their home. Edward reacted as expected and ran to Alaska. Bella went to stay in the cottage, where she found some information on an Isabella Swan, but strangely that information disappeared. Edward returned home and the Cullens convinced Bella to return home.

Bella was found to have a strange talent, so the Denali coven came to meet her and find out more about her gift. It seems our little Bella is a shield, but that she can also echo other's gifts. So, she can see the visions Alice sees and hear Edward's thoughts. But it's a weaker version of their abilities, and she needs skin contact.

Bella has learned about vampire mating, but she doesn't believe that Edward feels that way about her. So, she has decided to sit back and watch what happens with him. She's spent a lot of time with him, learning to drive, learning to play piano and learning a tiny bit about her past.

At the end of last chapter, she saw Tyler get into an accident and rushed to help, falling and blacking out.

Now, **chapter 18**:

* * *

Interrogation

The scene before me appeared real, but I was distanced from it, giving it an otherworldly quality that told me I was dreaming. There was a non-descript man with dirty blond hair. The room was fairly dark, making it hard to distinguish much. All I saw were flashes of skin and hair in the slats of light filtering through horizontal blinds. It was clear that there were two people in a state of undress that would not be accepted in public. I had seen kissing and touching and bare skin. It was quite erotic, very heated. And most amazing of all, I was one of the couple.

It was like watching a home movie where I couldn't remember the video being recorded. I knew it was me. It looked like me, but I didn't feel emotionally attached to the scene before me. I felt nothing towards the unremarkable man, even though the girl I was watching moaned and panted before me.

Suddenly, the movie turned negative and frightening.

The man grew overly aggressive, angry because the woman—I— was unwilling to progress to the level he wanted. He pushed her farther than she was ready to go, forcing her to do things she didn't want to do. I watched as he became more physical with her—almost passing into violence.

"No, no, no." My own screaming brought me to consciousness from the hazy dream. I closed my eyes tighter and shook my head, clearing the cobwebs from my mind. I knew I'd been dreaming. I knew it had been horrible, but I couldn't remember anything in particular that pointed to this.

"Bella, are you all right?" a warm, smooth voice asked as cool fingers swept across my cheek.

I opened my eyes to meet Edward's worried gaze. "I—I think so. Just a nightmare." My head was throbbing. "It hurts. What happened?" I rubbed the left side of my head, where the ache was strongest.

"You fell and hit your head against Mike's truck." He looked away. "I was watching the van and didn't see you rushing off. When I looked, you were already falling to the ground." His head shake was almost as indiscernible as his words. "The sound your head made when it hit the metal..." He winced, though I was the one in pain.

"I'm fine." I tried to slow my rubbing, so as not to draw too much attention. Edward gently stopped me, replacing my hand with his.

"The cold will help." He looked back at me. His lips twitched slightly at the corners, the smile never reaching his eyes. He was wallowing, guilty because he couldn't stop a klutz from hurting herself.

I searched for a subject change. "I never even got to see if I could help Tyler. Was he okay?"

He smiled more naturally at my words, his look indulgent, and then shook his head. "Yes. Tyler will need to be observed, though. He bumped his head a few times but other than that, he's fine. You're worse off."

I finally took a moment to take in my surroundings. I was in the backseat of Edward's Volvo. He was sitting behind the driver's seat, my head in his lap. I shifted my head to look out the side window.

Edward groaned quietly.

I went to ask him why, but couldn't stop the scream that left my lips instead.

"What?" he asked. "Does it hurt?"

"Hurt?" I snapped my attention back to him.

He narrowed his eyes. "Alice, hurry. She's delirious." I wasn't sure if he was kidding or not.

"Um, no, Alice, don't," I said anxiously. "Please don't speed up. I'm fine. We're just going really fast, faster than usual. Um, where are we going?"

"The hospital," Edward said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I've already seen that you're fine," Alice chimed in. "But Mr. Worrywart insists."

"Hospitals mean tests, Edward," I moaned, pushing myself up to sit. I felt a little woozy, but the leather seats stayed where they should. "I don't want tests"

Edward tried to pull me back down, but I mouthed, "Stop." Amazingly, he did.

He eyed me disdainfully before he spoke again. "That's why we're going. I'm counting on tests to be done."

"Please just take me home," I begged.

"Not until Carlisle has taken a look at you."

"Don't you have multiple medical degrees? I trust your diagnosis."

"Multiple degrees, yes. Medical equipment, no. I'm not risking your safety, and there's nothing you can say to change my mind."

"Plus he's be too emotionally involved," Alice quipped from the driver's seat.

"And Carlisle isn't?" I retorted.

"He is." Alice held the last word out longer, clearly leaving some words unsaid. "It's just that Carlisle sees you as his child. Edward… doesn't."

I looked at Edward. His scowl said more than her words could. Alice left some thoughts unspoken, thoughts that apparently bothered him.

"Alice already said I'll be _fine_," I huffed, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

His eyes briefly flickered down, before coming to meet mine. "Alice can see that you'll be fine if we take you to the hospital. Since there's no other alternative that will be considered, that's the only outcome she sees."

"You're so pushy." I thought about pouting, but I could tell Edward was in a mood where that tactic wasn't going to work, so I decided to try another way. "Did Tyler have to go to the hospital?"

"Yes, Bella, he did." Edward sighed. "But he went in the ambulance. They wanted to put you in one, but I convinced them that I'd contact my father and get you there quicker." He paused. "In the end, I had to get Carlisle on the phone to persuade them."

"Oh," I grumbled, then wondered why he wouldn't just let the ambulance take me. "Why?"

"They wouldn't have let us go with you, and I wasn't leaving you to wake up alone." He shook his head as if that thought disgusted him. "As I was arguing with Coach Clapp—he insisted we wait until the ambulances got there—the Emergency Medical Personnel and the chief of police arrived." He paused, tilting his head toward me. The air was thick with something left unsaid.

"And?" I urged.

"He seemed to know you..."

"He said something?" I asked through the lump in my throat. Was he an answer to my past?

"Not really." He tapped his temple. "His thoughts were cloudy, almost hidden. Not as much as yours, but still… very similar. Strange, really…" Edward seemed to lose himself, then shook his head. "I was able to hear enough to sense his recognition of you and then his confusion. He wasn't sure why you were so familiar."

"What's his name?"

"Chief Swan. As in Charlie - _Charles_ – Swan," Alice chimed in.

"That _girl_," I said, bringing my hand to my chest. "That girl... from the records. He was listed as her father. And a… Renee was her mother."

"Yes," she said quietly.

"Why didn't either of you tell me about this before?" Edward questioned angrily. "You never even thought about it, Alice. If it's a lead, we should have investigated it. No matter how impossible." His volume rose as he demanded an explanation.

"There wasn't anything, Edward," I whispered. "Please leave it." This wasn't something I wanted to talk about right now, especially with the side of my head still keeping its own rhythm.

"What happened, Alice?"

_Okay, let's beat a dead horse._

"Bella found the records, but no one had heard of the chief having a child. His wife left not long after they married. Bella started to look into it, but then the records disappeared." She paused. I wondered if she was saying more in her mind, or gathering her thoughts. "Carlisle searched, but there was nothing. Maybe it was a computer glitch or something."

I stared out of the window, not wanting to meet anyone's gaze while they chattered about possibilities and theories. I had nothing to add to the conversation. It was just one more lead that never panned out. Beside those events made me question my own sanity. Alice had seen the electronic record, but I had been the only one with the hard evidence.

"You need to find a way to talk to him," Edward said, his eyes intense. "I'll go with you so I can _hear_ him."

"I'd need a reason to talk to him." I shrugged. "I can't even think of why I'd talk to the chief of police."

"You were a witness to an accident," he explained. "Just go to give a report."

"Didn't he get, like, a hundred of those?"

"Probably, but it's a reason to talk to him. Maybe it'll give us a starting place."

"We're here," Alice called back. "You and Edward go in and I'll find a place to park."

"I'll help you out," Edward said as he was getting out. "Stay there."

I tried to protest, but when I caught the look he gave me, I changed my mind. "Okay, but I'm fine. Really." He had to keep up the human façade in public, so I could've easily gotten out by the time he reached my side of the car, but I didn't.

He opened my door and gently helped me up from the car. My head had slowed its pounding. It was now more of a dull pain, but Edward still insisted that he would help me along. I felt like an invalid, and was grateful that it was cold out. At least there wouldn't be a million witnesses staring at me as Edward practically carried me in.

We walked to the front desk. The woman standing there looked at Edward first, her appreciative thoughts apparent on her face. She wasn't much older than we were, and she started coming on to him immediately.

"How can I help you?" she asked in a sultry voice. I wondered if I could master that.

"I'm waiting for my father. He should be here momentarily." Edward's manner was curt. He didn't even seem to notice her attempts at seduction.

"Are you Doctor Cullen's kid?" she asked a little too sweetly.

"Yes." He nodded. I was certain the woman noticed his tone this time.

"And she is?"

"Who Carlisle is coming to see." He sounded almost angry. "There was an accident at the school."

Her face fell. "Yes, I heard about that. Do _you_ go to that school?"

Ah, she had thought he was older.

"Yes."

"Bella, Edward, there you are." Carlisle's musical voice rang through the hall. "Why didn't you tell me they were here, Maria?"

"I was just getting to that," she simpered. The receptionist finally acknowledged me. "Fill out a form," she said brusquely, then flung a clipboard filled with papers at me. "Pens are over there if you need one." She motioned with her head.

I nearly chuckled at her abrupt change from friendly to surly. I guessed that either Edward's apparent age, his lack of interest or Carlisle's chastising had upset her.

"So you fell while running to help Tyler, Bella?" Carlisle asked.

I hummed and nodded my affirmation.

"Edward said you hit your head on the bumper of another boy's truck."

Another hum.

"How do you feel?"

I laughed. "Fine, Dr. Cullen. Your son insisted that I come here, even though it's completely unnecessary." I shot a hard glare at the subject of my sentence.

"There wasn't any blood," Edward said, ignoring me completely. "But I thought she should probably get checked out." He smiled triumphantly. Then his lips blurred. It was so fast; I wasn't sure I'd seen it at first.

"Don't do that," I hissed in almost a whisper. Even though the annoying woman had moved away, I wasn't sure if she could hear us.

Edward raised his eyebrows, questioning me.

"Just because I don't hear you, doesn't mean I don't know that you're talking. If you're going to talk about me, have the guts to say it so I can hear."

Carlisle chuckled and shook his head. "She won't need a chair. She's well enough to put you in your place."

A chair? I thought we were going in… Oh, a _wheel_chair. "I definitely do not need a _chair_." I narrowed my eyes at Edward. "I can walk."

"Follow me," Carlisle said through his laughter.

I did as he said, and he led us down a hallway to a large room sectioned off into smaller areas by curtain dividers. The entire walk, Edward had his arms wrapped around my waist, holding me up, even though I didn't need the help. He was more frustrating than the ache in my head.

"You can sit here while I order some tests." Carlisle smiled and patted the gurney covered in white sheets. "I think you'll be fine to go home. I just want to be sure." He walked toward the curtain, then ran it along the track to give us some privacy. As he was about to leave, he nodded slightly. "I'll be right back."

"You really need to stop treating me like I'm a child," I grumbled when Carlisle was out of sight.

Edward just looked at me.

"You of all people should know that what you see isn't always what you get."

Again he didn't respond.

"Aren't you going to say _anything_?" My anger seeped through in my voice

"I was waiting until you were finished." His arrogance was grating on my last nerve.

"Listen, you… just because you're older than me, it doesn't give you the right to treat me like I can't make my own decisions. You're overbearing and it's getting annoying."

"Overbearing?" He raised one eyebrow. "You think I'm overbearing?"

"At times," I said, backtracking. I didn't want to hurt his feelings

"Bella, I want what's in your best interest. That does _not_ make me overbearing." He was practically pouting.

"It does when you won't even let me make my own decisions. Sure, it could be a mistake. But it's mine to make."

"I can't help feeling… protective." He covered his eyes with his right hand and let out a large gust of air. "I'll try to be less overbearing, as you call it."

"Thank you." In an effort to lighten the mood, I decided to joke with him. "The receptionist was friendly. She seemed really interested in you." I allowed my own jealousy to set the bait.

He pointed at the clipboard still in my hands. "Just fill out the paper, Bella." He rolled his eyes and picked up a nearby magazine that someone must have left.

I knew it was just a ruse to prevent me from talking about his new _girlfriend_. He didn't seem like the Cosmo type. As soon as I started writing, he tutted and put it back down on the chair.

I filled out the sheet, informing the ER of my personal information and accident details. After a few minutes, a nurse came through the partition. "Hello, Miss Dean. I'm Nancy. Doctor Cullen informed me that you had an accident and that we need to bring you to radiology."

I nodded. "I think I'm fine. He just wants to be sure."

She laughed. "He's also asked for some blood to be taken for some other tests, and I'm sure he'll give you some medication. Do you mind if I just put in a port?"

"No, that's fine."

"I'm going to go to Carlisle's office," Edward said, his voice tight. "He'll let me know when you're ready to go, Bella."

"Oh, okay." Of course he'd want to leave if my blood was going to be exposed.

"Is he squeamish?" Nancy asked, flipping her brown hair over her shoulder.

"Squeamish? I – I guess so." I paused. "I guess he really just doesn't want to see my blood." I couldn't tell her the truth. I didn't think "my friend would probably suck me dry if he was around my spilled blood" would go over too well.

She put in the port, took a few vials and then a nice man wheeled me down to the radiology area. After I was done there, I was sent back to my little waiting room. Carlisle arrived and placed the films on the light board.

"Everything looks fine, Bella."

"Like Alice said."

He smiled. "Yes, like Alice said. You'll be fine. I'll have the nurse administer some painkillers, and then you can go home and rest." He grabbed my chin in between his thumb and forefinger. "Just be careful."

"I know, Carlisle."

"And don't be so hard on Edward. He cares for you more than you realize." Actually, I thought I was beginning to realize… perhaps.

At his words, Edward and Alice appeared at the curtain entrance. Alice rushed over to me.

"Told you that everything would be fine." She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, pulling me in for a hug.

"I know."

"Ready to leave?" she asked, pulling back. I noticed a sly grin playing on her features.

"Um, yes?"

"I have to tell you, though," she whispered leaning in conspiratorially.

"Tell me what?"

"You have a visitor," Edward said, peeping his head around Alice's shoulder. He was smiling, but it appeared forced.

"A visitor? Who? Esme?"

"No, not one of us," Alice said.

"Who then?"

"Charlie Swan." She smiled and stepped back, helping me up from the gurney.

"The police chief? Really?"

She nodded.

"He's here under the premise of talking to you about the accident, but out in the waiting room, all he did was worry." Edward held out his hand to me.

I grasped it quickly and we began the walk out to the waiting area. _What am I going to say?_

_Just stick to the story. _He squeezed my fingers gently. _You'll do fine. I'll hold your hand, if you like._

_Okay. _I nodded. I wondered what this meeting would prove, if anything.

Luckily, the hospital wasn't huge, so the walk was short. We turned the corner, and sitting in the waiting room was a dark-haired man in a police uniform, complete with jacket and radio. I immediately felt some sort of connection to this man, though I didn't know why.

_You can do this._ Edward's thoughts bolstered me.

The man stood and walked toward us. "Hello, Miss Dean," he said. "I'm Chief Swan. There's a few things I'd like to ask you about the accident at your school today." His voice was familiar, but I wasn't sure why. It echoed through my ears, reaching into me, tugging at something intangible.

I nodded in response to his words, trying to pull something about this man from my un-cooperating memory banks, but nothing came. Why couldn't I just pull one thing out?

_Don't try to force it. _Edward's thoughts were gentle._ If it's there, it _will _come._

_What if it doesn't?_

_We'll deal with it. Don't worry._

I rolled my eyes internally, hoping he'd hear it. He laughed just as silently.

Charlie reached out his hand. Luckily I was holding Edward's in my left, so I could shake hands with Charlie without losing the contact with Edward. Charlie's skin was warm and soft. I hadn't realized what human contact could feel like, since I rarely touched anyone but the Cullens. It was a different experience, comforting and natural.

"Nice to meet you, sir," I said, noticing Charlie's eyes. A gasp threatened to escape. I saw eyes like those every time I looked into a mirror—minus the crow's feet of course. The curve and color were exactly the same. In fact, his hair was the same color of mine as well, though his was curly.

_I noticed that too._ Edward's voice startled me. I'd forgotten he was still connected.

_But he doesn't _know_ me?_

_No, he's confused… Wait! He's picturing a baby with your eyes wrapped in pink. But it's blurred and he has no context, so he's dismissing it._

Charlie released my hand and his moustache twitched at the ends. His eyes became soft before he spoke. "I realize that you had a traumatic experience today, but I would like for you to come to the station to give a statement about what happened this morning."

I looked to Carlisle. "Is that okay?"

He brought his hand to his chin. "Your injuries were minor. But I would like you to go home and get some rest. Chief Swan, do you think you could talk to Bella here?"

Charlie nodded. "Of course, Dr. Cullen. I only have a few questions."

"Okay."

He pulled out a small pad of paper and led the way to some seats in the corner. After I sat, he began shooting questions specifically about what I had seen this morning. While he was in police mode, Edward didn't mention any strange thoughts.

After Charlie put his notepad away, he asked me some questions about my life before Forks. I echoed the same story I'd told Jessica on my first day at Forks High.

Through most of the conversation, Edward kept contact. Though Charlie wondered about how and why he knew me quite often, there was never any connection he could make. I felt terrible lying to him about important facts, not only because he was a police officer but also because of the connection I felt to him.

The more I spoke with him, the more I wanted to know him. He was quiet, but he reminded me of that old adage about still waters. He was someone I would have liked to have in my life if I could make that decision.

After his questions were answered, I turned the conversation to him. "Have you always lived in Forks?"

"Yep, born and raised."

"Do you like it?"

"What's not to like? I've got a great job, good friends and all the fish I could ever want."

"You like to fish?"

"Yeah, it's the cooking I'm not too good at."

An image of a dark-haired man holding a frying pan filled with some blackened goo flitted through my mind. As with so many other things, this was inordinately blurry. It could have been anyone.

I laughed. "You have that in common with Edward."

"He's young. He can learn." He pointed to himself. "Can't teach an old dog new tricks."

He thought he was old? He didn't look much above forty, if he was even that.

Abruptly, Charlie cleared his throat. "Well, you need to get going and get some rest. Thanks for talking to me today."

"Sure, no problem." I felt so sad, like I was saying goodbye to an old friend whom I would probably never see again.

_He feels the same._ Edward's thought didn't lessen the pain. _I'm sorry._

_I don't even understand it._

_I know._

I squeezed and then let go off Edward's hand and stood. Charlie stood there, his hand held out. I was so overcome with emotion that I flung my arms around him, instead. "It was really nice to meet you."

He wrapped his arms loosely around my shoulders. "Yes, it was." He cleared his throat, and I jumped back.

_Talk about overstepping boundaries._

"Um, well, thanks. Bye."

"It was nice to meet you, Chief Swan." Would I never be able to control my babbling?

As he neared the door, I couldn't help yelling to him. "Be careful."

He smiled broadly. "Always am."

Part of me left with him as he stepped through the door. I didn't understand it, but I felt a very strong bond with a man I didn't know and had barely spoken to.

As we were driving home, Alice and Edward tried to dissect every nuance of my conversation with Charlie, but they wound up finding nothing.

Over the next few days, the school buzzed continually about Tyler's accident and my clumsiness. Jessica in particular found that fact funny and barely let a minute go by without making some comment about me knocking myself out.

By the end of the week, the accident and my subsequent gracelessness were old news. I was glad to be out of the spotlight. Soon conversation turned to simple things like the weather, and how it was warming up. Mike was excited because he would soon be able to plan a trip to the beach on the Quileute reservation.

I tried to stay quiet, knowing I shouldn't go there. But I wasn't so lucky to actually stay out of the conversation.

"You'll go, right, Bella?" Mike asked, his blue eyes pleading.

"Um, I need to ask Carlisle and Esme," I hedged. "I mean, I don't know if they'll want me to go there."

"But you want to, right?" Mike pushed. "It'll be so much fun."

"Sure—I mean, yeah, I want to go." I looked down, trying to make an excuse. "It's just that I'm not sure they'll want me to go out there by myself."

"Ask Edward," Jessica chimed in. "We'd love him to be there."

"He's really not a beach person."

"Just ask him," Lauren said snidely.

"Um, I'll try."

"You have to come," Mike said, trying to convince me. "It won't be any fun without you."

I looked at Jessica in time to see her face fall as her head turned away.

"Sure, Mike," I said, having been backed into a corner. "I'll talk to them about it tonight."

The rest of lunch passed with the boys discussing what they wanted to do at the beach. It seemed there was a place for a bonfire, as well as a place to see water pools teeming with life when the tide was out. It sounded interesting, so it was a pity that I wouldn't be joining them.

When I walked into Bio, Edward wasn't in his seat yet. That was unusual because he was always there, waiting to talk to me. I readied myself for class, waiting for him to arrive. He walked through the door just as the bell rang and never looked at me.

The class was a lecture, and Mr. Banner spoke the entire time, so I didn't get to speak to Edward. I tried to get his attention a few times, but it was useless. He ignored my nudges, pushed away my note and covered his hand when I went to grab it. I knew at that point that he was avoiding me for some reason.

"Talk to me," I practically yelled when the bell rang.

"Later. I have to talk to Alice now." He turned his head toward me and smiled, then stood and walked out of the door. Even when he turned to me, he never looked me in the eye.

I bumbled through gym class, my mind too focused on Edward to even pretend to pay attention to the volleyball whizzing around the room. I knocked over a couple of girls during the period, and was slammed in the face by the ball twice. No one noticed my preoccupation—I wasn't much better at sports when I _was_ paying attention.

When I arrived at the Volvo, Edward and Alice were in the car, deep in conversation. I opened the door and sat in the back. Edward took off without even a greeting. The entire drive home, he and Alice spoke about something that I couldn't understand. I could hear their voices and their tone was brusque, like an argument, but the words eluded me. About five minutes into the drive, I finally gave up trying to understand.

For the rest of the drive, I sat in the backseat, stewing. I hated being spoken about like I wasn't there, and I was sure their conversation was about me. They ignored me completely. If they heard my huffing, they never acknowledged it.

We arrived home, and everyone went about their own business. Strangely, Emmett stayed in the room with Edward and me. Emmett went over to the sofa opposite the TV, picked up the remote, and turned the TV on, immediately starting to flip through the channels.

"Bee in your bonnet, Edward?" I was trying to be cute, but it fell miles short.

"It's nothing." he lied, refusing to even look at me.

I moved in front of him. "If it was nothing, you wouldn't act like this. And since you were just okay, it's got to be me."

He still wouldn't meet my eyes and I was getting really irritated.

_I didn't do _anything_ to warrant this treatment._

"So, what's got you so upset?"

"I told you, it's nothing." Obviously his temper was getting the best of him because he practically spat that sentence at me.

"Right. You always treat me like I'm scum when nothing's wrong," I prodded. "Just tell me what I did to annoy you… this time."

"You shouldn't go to La Push with Mike and his friends," he spoke so fast, the words were almost a complete blur.

I heard movement from Emmett's general direction, but I didn't look.

_Great, a spectator. Got your tub of popcorn, Emmett? No, I guess that wouldn't be appetizing._

"I wasn't planning to." I rolled my eyes. "Do you think I'm crazy?" I was treading on shaky ground, but I needed to push. "But I still don't see why you're so upset."

"You don't know the vile things that Newton and many of the other boys think about you." He shook his head.

"I think I can guess the lines their thoughts follow, Edward. I'm not completely naïve. Honestly, I don't care. They're children and their attention will wane in a few weeks. You know that they're only interested because I was the shiny object flashed before them. Once the newness wears off, I will be just another girl out there. No big deal. In the meantime, I get some human interaction."

"I don't want you alone with him," he practically pleaded. I wondered why it would bother him so much. I was about to ask, when he said, "You could easily slip in your story. You're not as practiced as we are."

It annoyed me that he thought I was unable to rein in my actions. "I can take care of myself. You don't have to worry about that."

"You have an exceptional track record of that."

"First of all, I wouldn't have been alone; it's a group trip. So, I would need to make little conversation. I've been fine so far. And if they get close to anything I don't want to answer, I'll tell them it's hard to talk about it. Stop being so bossy." I shook my head, huffed and rolled my eyes at him to show he was being ridiculous. _Wait. A. Minute._ "And what's with the exceptional track record comment"

"You seem to draw danger to you like you're a magnet for it." He smirked at me like he had made some unbeatable point.

"Very funny." I rolled my eyes again. "What's your next joke?"

"I'm not joking," he answered haughtily.

"Edward, how many times do I have to tell you that I am not a child?" I felt my brows knit together.

"You don't know the way things work."

"Oh, _please_. Stop overreacting. I can't take you being so controlling and overprotective. And if you're worried about Mike, don't. I'll keep him in his place. He won't even try to touch me. He is an infatuated little boy, as harmless as a pet Labrador."

"Bella, if you knew the things he thought about you, you wouldn't feel that way."

Suddenly it clicked. He wasn't upset about me going to La Push. He was upset about me going out with Mike. I decided to bait him to see if I was right. "What do you mean?"

"He wants to do… _things_ with you."

"Ah, _things_." I narrowed my eyes. "What like _date_ me? Or _kiss_ me? Heaven _forbid_."

"That's tame compared—"

"He's a teenage boy, Edward. And well, I'm a teenage girl, as far as he's concerned. They think like that. I'm sure you've heard it all before."

He sighed. "Yes."

"Besides, it's not like women don't think like that about you. Maria at the hospital?"

"Yes, but that's—"

"Then what's the big deal?" _Hook… line…_

"He shouldn't think about _you _that way." _And sinker._

"Me? That wouldn't be because you're…" Even though I was sure of his feelings, I couldn't brave actually saying them.

"What?" he asked warily.

I guessed that I would have to actually say the words. "Jealous," I huffed. "You're not jealous, are you?"

"No," he spluttered. "Why would I be jealous of _them_?"

"You're annoyed because you thought I was taking Mike up on his offer, like it was a date?" It was out there. His eyes grew wide, but there was no other reaction. Maybe I'd been wrong. Maybe I'd made an ass out of myself.

"No."

Just one little word and my world stopped.

"No?" I squeaked, then cleared my throat. "What then?"

"I just don't trust them with you. He won't treat you properly."

"Well, there's a way to fix that, Edward."

"How?"

"Ask me first."

He gaped for a moment, his eyes wide and unblinking. There was another snicker behind me, but I ignored it, choosing to focus on Edward's reaction.

Finally, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply, opening them again. "I'm _not_ jealous of Newton. I just worry about you and his fantasies."

"I can take care of myself." Was he _not _listening?

"Really? How do you explain your current situation, then? A _human_ girl living in a house with seven vampires? I'd certainly say you can take care of yourself." His eyes narrowed at his sarcastic comment.

I was livid and crushed, left beyond words. In the heat of the moment, his true feelings had come out. Not only did he think of me as a child, but the look on his face when he said human, like I was beneath him. How had I thought he cared for me?

_How could he say that?_ _That that was _so… so… so_ monstrous._

I fumed at myself for attributing his kindness to anything but an overblown desire to do what was right, to make up for what he was. He hated himself. Yet, underneath all that self loathing, he still thought he was better than me and that hurt more than I could even put into words. I narrowed my eyes and grumbled at him through my teeth, slamming my foot into the wooden floor.

"Did she just growl at you?" Emmett's amused voice echoed from behind me, breaking the silence. "I like 'em feisty."

I'd forgotten he was there. Anger and embarrassment now rose to the surface. I twirled to face Emmett; he was still sitting on the couch behind me.

"You," I pointed at him, "just stay out of this. I don't need _your_ opinions, as well. I get more than enough from him." I jerked my thumb over my shoulder, pointing to Edward. "I'm sure you've had quite a bit of entertainment from us. And, I don't want to hear about it, especially not from you." I barely recognized my voice as I shrieked at him.

He held up his hands in surrender. "Him, remember?"

I let out a frustrated yell, then spoke to no one in particular. "I'm going out." My voice sounded strangely high-pitched and strangled. "If you feel like following me… _don't_."

I rushed to the end table, opened the drawer and grabbed the fanciest set of keys along with two other sets, trying to buy enough time to get to the car I really wanted. If no one knew which car I planned on taking, they wouldn't stop me from using it. I prayed Alice wasn't searching my future or that she and Jasper were far enough that _he_ couldn't hear them.

"Don't wait up," I sneered as I swept through the kitchen door. Slamming the back door behind me, I ran to the garage. I was amazed. I had made my dramatic exit without tripping once and they hadn't tried to stop me.

Did I wish Edward had? Probably.

Upon entering the garage, I clicked the unlock button on the fancy set and as I expected, they were to Edward's "Special Occasion" car. I decided to take that one, his baby, as a form of retribution—he'd been the one who taught me to drive a manual transmission after all. I wiped the tears from my eyes and raced to the car.

_Maybe I'll total it. If he wants to treat me like a child, I might as well act like one. _

_

* * *

_

End Notes:

As always, thank you so much for reading.

So, a few things:

Would the school staff have let Alice and Edward take Bella when she was unconscious? Probably not. But, Edward is very persuasive, and they did speak to Carlisle.

I know it seems strange to have a port put in at an ER visit, but I on my last visit to the ER (yes, I've been quite a few times. Like Bella, I'm inordinately clumsy), they gave me one. So I included that as well.

I'm not going to beg for reviews, but I do really love them so much. I'm already about half way through the next chapter because of all the reviews I received last chapter. So…. A HUGE thank you to you all.


	19. Mistake

Thank you for reviewing LC! I love and appreciate them all. Really, I do. I am REALLY behind in review replies, but I promise I will respond.

Thanks to all the people who have added LC to their favorites or their alerts.

As always, if anyone is still reading, you rock.

My permanent betas are wonderful. Thanks so much, Strider and jfka06. Of course, I also send my love to my lovely prereaders, nowforruin and bookgeek80. Both rock my socks. Strider and nowforruin are also writers, and they're stuff is amazing. Go read and review.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

Someone asked for a summary next time I posted. That was a great idea. Here it is:

Last Chapter – Bella had fallen and hit her head, landing herself in the hospital. When she was about to leave, the chief of police showed up. There was some sort of connection to him, though she isn't sure why. Then there was a blowup between Edward and Bella. They both said some things that probably shouldn't have been said. Bella ended up running from the house.

* * *

19 - Mistake

I drove around the town, fuming. I was mad at everyone, Emmett, Edward and most especially myself.

If I thought about it impartially, Emmett was just being himself. He hadn't meant to belittle me. Of course, he did all the same. And he had enjoyed watching Edward and me argue, which was frustrating. Why did he have to be that way? He was sweet most of the time, but his easy going nature was sometimes as annoying as Edward's uptight, overbearing temperament could be.

The comparison brought Edward to the forefront again. I couldn't believe how annoying his constant domineering was. He was so bossy, so arrogant. How pompous could one _person_ be? I was capable of making my own decisions. How could he not see that? I wanted to yell. So I did.

I screamed and slammed my hand against the steering wheel. But it still didn't help my frustration. He was still controlling and condescending. _Nothing_ would help that.

I'd been out for a while when I came upon the same sign I had seen on my first driving trip with _him_, a sign pointing to La Push. I ignored it and drove past and into the town. As I drove down the quiet streets, I took random turns, often going in circles and seeing the same houses or businesses. It was the quintessential small town, quiet and unassuming.

_Ugh. _

I wished there was somewhere new to go! Everything was annoying me.

Inevitably, my thoughts turned back to the fight. After analyzing Emmett and Edward, there was me. I couldn't think of a reason not to be completely angry with myself. I had lost my temper so easily and said things that were so hurtful. "Moron."

Emmett was just acting like he normally did. I shouldn't fault him for his typical behavior, behavior that I normally found entertaining.

Edward also had his reasons for being overprotective. I guessed that when someone worried only about themselves for over one hundred years, they would be like that. He saw me as fragile, and compared to him I was.

Plus he'd grown up in different times, when women were still considered the _weaker_ sex. Maybe he was a product of his upbringing, even though the times had changed. Not that it made much of a difference. He still saw me as someone unable to take care of herself, an impetuous person who made rash decisions—of course, my little tirade and subsequent rush from the house only furthered that point.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," I berated myself. In that instance, I had to agree with him. I'd been both brainless and childish. I dreaded returning home, not knowing exactly what I'd meet when I did. It wasn't like I could return late and try to sneak in. No one slept and their senses were a million times better than mine. There was no way to get around what was waiting for me.

Again I was in front of that damn sign, reminding me of the cause for the fight, taunting me. I seemed doomed to travel in circles. Maybe my entire life was on repeat, an infinite loop of the same decisions and outcomes. Perhaps, I thought, all I had to do was decide to change course, and I did just that.

This time, I drove in the direction the sign pointed. I didn't think about where I was going. All I thought about was my anger. After a little drive, passing through a small town center and a few scattered houses, I came to a dead end and a deserted parking lot near a beach. I pulled into the lot, not even bothering to park properly. I was breaking all the rules now. There was nothing like living on the edge.

I walked to the front of the car and sat on the hood, with my feet on the front bumper. I was already in trouble. May as well add a dent onto that. So I was here. What was I going to do? I guessed this impromptu trip had really been a bad idea. Chalk up another poor decision to Bella. I toyed with the thought of going home, but I decided that since I was near the beach, I might as well have a look at the water. I didn't remember ever seeing the ocean. Plus I wanted to avoid everyone for the time being.

The beach was different than I expected. I couldn't see anything until I passed through grass covered dunes. Before the beach was a barrier of driftwood logs, a stark white fence blockading the way to the beach. I climbed over the dead trees, and sat on the other side, facing the water.

The water was dark with dangerous, a complete contrast to my makeshift bench. Stark and yet strangely attractive dark grey rock formations rose up from the ocean, reaching to the heavens. Pine trees extended toward the sky on the distant islands. I watched for a few minutes as the water swelled and retreated. There weren't any crests like I'd expected.

Rocks littered the sand, appearing a uniform color from a distance but really encompassing every color of the rainbow. The sand was packed, damp like everything else in this place. I wished for a moment to be free from the damp but I had to admit that the beauty of this place was remarkable.

It was breathtaking, and I was pleased that the beach was fairly deserted so I could enjoy this by myself.

The rolling of the waves was calming and helped me focus. As I my anger quieted down, that voice in the back of my head began nagging me again. Why had I come _here_? Of all times to rebel, I had to choose to put everyone in danger. Edward had annoyed me, but that wasn't worth risking problems with the tribe here, and there would definitely be problems if I was found here.

I jumped up and quickly made my way back to the silver car. As I approached, I breathed a sigh. There was no one to catch me here. Maybe I'd be able to leave before anyone noticed.

Unfortunately, I wasn't so lucky. A dark-haired boy suddenly appeared at the side of my car. Luckily, his attention was focused on it; he seemed enraptured by its lines. Of course when I got closer, my foot caught on a rock, and I fell toward the ground.

"Woah!" the boy exclaimed. "You all right?"

I looked up to see him walking my way. "Um, yeah, I think so." I clumsily stood and brushed off my jeans. After a quick inspection, I spoke again, holding my hands palms out. "Just a few scrapes. Not too bad. Thanks."

"Good." He smiled warmly, crinkling his nearly black eyes. He had tanned skin and long black hair. From his features, I assumed that he was from the reservation. He seemed familiar—causing me to briefly think of the chief of police, which confused me. Maybe it was just his manner. He seemed unassuming, like someone trustworthy, just like Charlie.

Even with his outwardly kind nature. Still I was worried. Someone on the reservation knew I was here.

_Just don't mention anything specific and you'll be fine, Bella_

"My name's Jacob… um, Jake," he said nervously.

"Bella." I thrust out my hand to him. "Nice to meet you, Jake."

_Yes, because teenagers typically greet each other with a handshake._

He grasped my hand in his, his color making me look even paler, and shook. "This your car?" He dropped my hand and pointed to the Vanquish.

"Not really," I hedged. "I… um, borrowed it?"

He laughed. "Are you insinuating that it's stolen?"

"No, not at all," I said. "I mean, they know I took it. And they haven't called, so I guess it's okay."

"Oh, okay." He began walking toward the car. "That's a V12, right?"

"I guess so." I shrugged "I don't know anything about cars."

"You do know that this is an awesome piece of machinery." His eyes narrowed like he questioned my sanity. "Tell me that at least."

"Yeah, it's really pretty."

"It's not just pretty," he said. "It's gorgeous. And _really_ expensive."

"Um, sure."

"So you're not too into cars at all," he said with a knowing smile.

"Not really. As long as it gets you from point A to point B, right?"

"If you say so." He looked away to where the ocean was. "So why'd you come out here today? It's not like you came for the weather."

"Just to get away, you know?" I leaned against the side of the car.

He laughed. "I never leave La Push, so no, I wouldn't know."

Confirmation that he was from there. "So you're from around here?"

"Born and raised," he said, walking to stand next to me. "Been here as far back as my family can remember."

"Wow! I can't imagine."

"Where you from?" he asked.

"Not too far."

"Evading the question?"

"No," I paused, wondering if I should tell him where I was from. I didn't see the harm in saying a vague location. "I live in Forks."

"Forks?" He seemed pleased. "Have you met the police chief, yet?"

"Yeah, a few days ago… why?"

"He and my dad are really good friends. Well, I guess they _were_. He's the only one I really know over there."

"He seemed like a really nice guy." I'd have to find a way to spend more time with Charlie. There was something about him…

"He is."

I hummed in response. Conversation was easy with this boy, like we were two friends catching up, not strangers meeting for the first time.

"Do you come to the beach every day?" I asked him.

"No, I just saw that car go by and wanted to get a better look."

"Ah, you wanted to see the hot car up close." I nudged him with my elbow.

"Something like that," he said. "And there you go again mentioning how the car is stolen."

"That is _not_ what I meant," I said through laughter. "Wait, are you going to tell the police? You do have an in with the chief."

He laughed. "No, I'll give you a pass this time."

"Cool."

"So, this isn't your car?" Jake asked.

I shook my head.

"Do you have a car?"

"Nope."

"Do you want a car?"

"It _would_ be nice to have some independence." I sighed. "But I don't really have a lot of money."

"I get that," he said, nodding. "But you don't care what it looks like, right?"

"Well, within reason." I smiled. "I mean, I'd like it to have intact windows and functioning doors."

"I know of a car—well, truck—for really cheap."

"Yeah?" I asked, knowing I could never have this truck. Even if I could find the money, I couldn't let them know I was with the Cullens.

"Yeah, it's my dad's. He's in a wheelchair now… diabetes. He can't drive it anymore, and I don't want it. But I can't start on a new car with one that still works." He rolled his eyes. "So… it would work out."

We discussed the truck a little further, and I got his number, just in case I could convince my "parents" to buy it for me. He didn't have to know that he'd never hear from me again. After a quick goodbye, I rushed off in Edward's ostentatious car. I should have known I couldn't go by in that without garnering some attention.

As I left, I thought about the boy I'd just met. It was too bad that I couldn't get to know him more. He seemed like someone I could really be friends with, a kindred spirit, but I couldn't risk going to La Push again. I'd gotten away with it this time. I wouldn't be so fortunate the next.

As I passed what I assumed was the border of La Push, I noticed a figure up ahead on the side of the road. The air was tense as I drove up. I hoped it wasn't him. As I neared, I realized it wasn't. But this person frightened me even more. I pulled over and shifted the car to park. There was a look of disdain and relief in Alice's eyes.

"What were you thinking? Where have you been? I've been worried sick." Her words were nearly indiscernible.

"I just went… for a drive?"

"I knew you were going to do that. I was sitting in the living room, watching your future…" She shook her head like she still couldn't believe what her visions had told her. "All of a sudden, you were gone. It was like your future ended."

"Really? Does that happen a lot?"

"No, it's never happened before. I was terrified. I thought something horrible had happened… that—that you were dead."

"I'm not," I said matter-of-factly.

"I can see that. I went searching around where I'd last seen you, but you weren't there. Finally, you reappeared about five minutes ago. So I waited here. I can guess where you went."

"Yeah." I dropped my head. "I'm sorry."

She didn't say anything, just climbed into the passenger seat. The air grew heavier, almost making it hard to breathe.

I sighed, knowing I'd made a huge mistake. "Do you think it will create a huge problem?"

"I don't see any issues in the future, but I'm not sure. With the blank spots I'm experiencing, it's impossible. Almost enough to give me a headache."

"I thought vampires couldn't get headaches."

She laughed, but it sounded slightly annoyed. "Not the normal ones."

"I'm sorry, Alice," I whispered, unable to make my voice louder. I'd put everyone in danger, and the final result was still yet to be seen. "I—I wasn't thinking."

"No, you weren't," she said curtly.

I sniffled and rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands.

"Well, there's nothing we can do about it now," Alice said. "Let's just see what happens."

"O-o-okay." I was emotionally spent and beginning to gasp as tears streamed down my face.

"I think I should drive," Alice said.

I nodded. Quicker than I had expected, she was at the driver's door. She helped me into the passenger seat, then appeared moments later, ready to drive. After she took the wheel, we began toward town.

"Are you hungry?" she asked. "We can stop by the diner for food and talk about what's bothering you."

"I'm all right." I said quietly, my eyes trained on the darkening trees. "Is he mad?"

She sighed, but didn't answer.

"I'll take that as a yes." My anger had faded. He had been unbearable, but I hadn't really stood up for myself very much until now. I'd actually played into his knight in shining armor fantasies, and his beliefs that I couldn't be trusted. "Is he going to say something when I get home?"

"No."

"Well, that's something. I don't think I could take another argument tonight."

"You don't have to worry about that," she said. "He's not home."

"Really?" I looked toward her.

She didn't turn to face me, instead keeping her eyes focused on the road ahead. "He's gone out." She sounded unhappy.

"Did something happen while I was gone?"

She laughed again. This time without humor. I didn't like bitter Alice; she kind of scared me. "Lot of things happened while you were gone, Bella."

"About the argument?"

"Yes… and no."

"Thanks for the clarification," I huffed.

She finally turned to me and smiled. She grasped my hand in hers. "It will all work out, Bella. I can still see that."

I wondered _what_ would work out. Would Edward and I become friends again? Would I find out my past? Would I be able to return to my prior life?

We pulled into the garage. Alice was unusually silent.

"I'll be upstairs," I said as I opened the car door.

I trudged into the kitchen, making it about half way to the door.

"Do you want something to eat?" Esme's softly spoken question surprised me—I hadn't even seen her.

"I'm fine. Thanks."

I made my way up to my room, never taking my eyes from the floor, and closed my door behind me. I felt like wallowing, so I didn't bother to turn on the light. My chaise was too exposed. I decided to cocoon myself in the thick blankets on my bed. I crawled in and buried myself under them.

I wasn't sure what my near future was going to hold, and worry consumed my every thought. What had my impulsive arguing and decisions ruined today? I barely slept at all that night. I couldn't relax.

The next morning, I looked like a zombie. My skin was terribly pale, and my under eyes were an unhealthy shade of purple. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and wrote the rest off as impossible. When I got downstairs, only Alice was waiting for me.

"We're riding in Em's Jeep today."

I nodded and followed her to the garage. Through my stupor, I was amazed that Rosalie's convertible was still in the garage. The Volvo was gone, however.

Was Edward avoiding me?

I didn't see him outside the school. In fact, I didn't see him until our shared class. He wasn't even in the cafeteria at lunch. As with the day before, he walked in just as the bell was ringing.

"Hello, Edward," I said quietly when he sat down. He turned his head an inch toward me and nodded, but never spoke.

"Okay," I grumbled.

He didn't react.

After class, he bolted from the room like I was going to set him on fire.

"Have a nice day," I said sarcastically, knowing he'd hear me.

I didn't see him outside the school after classes or at home. I didn't want to be a bother to anyone, so I went right up to my room and sulked, all the while my anger simmered. How could he be so hot and cold? Of course, this really was completely my fault. If I'd only kept my temper under control, we'd never have had the argument. Then again, it was probably my statement about his feelings toward me that pushed him away.

I couldn't believe that I had been so bold. In my impetuous declaration, I'd ended the friendship that meant the most to me. I decided at that moment to act differently than I usually did. Instead of forcing myself on him I would back off. I had already done enough damage to our friendship and it seemed that was the best course of action.

As a result, that was how the rest of the week played out. I only saw him during the one class we shared together, which was pretty amazing since we lived in the same house. He ignored me completely. Each day, I fell into more despair. Would I have to spend all of my time alone?

I knew that wasn't true. If I had asked, Alice would have spent the afternoon with me. In fact, she offered every day. I made excuses about homework or being tired. I had to admit, they were wearing thin.

Over the weekend, I realized that I had to break myself from my funk. I figured I could do so by helping others. Charlie Swan had mentioned that he couldn't cook. I wasn't the best cook around, but I could make him food for the upcoming week. It was kind of creepy, yes, but it would allow me more time to get to know him.

On Saturday afternoon, I walked down to Esme's office. "Hello?" I called tentatively into the partially open door.

"Bella. Come in, dear."

"Um, Esme… I was thinking."

"About what?" She smiled kindly, her head resting on one arm.

"I'd like to do something for Charlie—I mean, _Chief_ Swan."

"What did you have in mind?" She seemed enthralled, leaning further across her desk at my suggestion.

"He said he can't cook." I lifted and dropped my left shoulder. "I was wondering if we could make some food and bring it over. You know so he has something when he comes home from work during the week. I hate to think about him being alone all the time."

"That sounds very nice. We can get started now, if you like."

I nodded and forced the edges of my lips up. "I'd like that."

We spent the rest of the evening and some of Sunday morning cooking enough food to last an army the rest of the week, let alone one person.

"Should we call him?" I asked. "I mean, we can't just show up at his house."

"I think so…he shouldn't be too hard to find in the phone book," Esme said. "This is a tiny town."

"He'll probably think it's really weird. I mean, some girl he barely knows calling up and asking to bring him food is kind of strange."

"He may but you'll never know until you ask. Maybe you're just a very nice person."

"Maybe." I grabbed the book from the desk and turned through to the S's. Luckily, there was only one Swan listed there. I dialed the number anxiously, my heart pounding in my throat with each ring.

"Hello?" a gruff voice answered. I heard him clear his throat.

My nerves were getting the better of me as I tried to speak. "H-h-hi… um, is this Chief Swan?" _Who else would it be?_

"Yes." He sounded wary.

"Hi, this is Bella. Bella Dean. This might sound really strange but… um, you said you couldn't cook, and well… Esme and I like to cook and we made some extra stuff this weekend… so I was wondering if I could… um, you know, drop some off? God, that sounds so weird."

"You made me food?" he asked, his voice disbelieving. "That's… well, that's really nice."

"Great! So would it be okay to drop off this afternoon?"

He paused for a minute. "I wasn't planning on going out. I'll be here."

"Cool, we'll see you soon." I still sounded incredibly edgy, and I worried he could hear the tone in my voice

"Okay. Bye, Isabella… and thanks."

"Anytime, Chief Swan."

I hung up the phone and turned to Esme, unable to stop smiling.

"Let's get this packed up," she chortled. I guessed my sudden enthusiasm pleased her after I'd been so down.

* * *

End Notes:

So, some things may seem a little strange or OOC for these characters, but I assure you, everything has a reason.

Again, I cannot thank you enough for reading and/or reviewing. I'm beyond grateful for every one. I really can't say how much they help. Sometimes when this story fights me, I think to those reviews, and they help me beyond the block. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Please don't be too angry with Edward—and in extension me. He may be a complete ass, but his intentions are good—at least he thinks they are. But we all know he can't stay away for too long. The question is will she want him to be there when he decides he can't stay away?

Follow me on Twitter- bonnysammy . I ramble and sometimes post stuff about LC or other things I'm writing. I have a FB, too, but I'm barely on there. My FB is bonny Sammy.

My next chapter has already been sent to beta, so I hope to have it up much sooner than this took. I apologize for the delay.

Two recs this time:

For Whom the Bell Tolls by CyraBear

Evermore Experience by DeJean Smith

Both are _excellent_ AU's. I'm lucky to be a Validation Beta for these stories.


	20. Puzzle

A|N:

Thank you for reviewing LC! I love and appreciate them all. Really, I do. I am REALLY behind in review replies, but I promise I will respond. But I take so long before updates, I was sure this was wanted more.

Thanks to all the people who have added LC to their favorites or their alerts.

As always, if anyone is still reading, you rock. I LOVE you guys.

My permanent betas are wonderful. Thanks so much, Strider and jfka06. Of course, I also send my love to my lovely prereaders, nowforruin and bookgeek80. Both rock my socks. Strider and nowforruin are also writers, and they're stuff is amazing. Go read and review.My Stories

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

Someone asked for a summary next time I posted. That was a great idea. Here it is:

Last Chapter – Bella ran off in a tiff, eventually winding up in La Push, where she met Jake. After a few days of not speaking to Edward, she decided to do something and came up with an excuse to see Charlie.

* * *

Chapter 20 - Puzzle

Esme pulled up to a small, white, two-story home. It was quaint and homey, but not familiar in any way. I had hoped to recognize something, but the house, postage stamp-sized yard and surrounding forest could've been anywhere in this small town. There was no familiar tug as I looked around. It meant absolutely nothing to me and that fact bothered me more than it should have.

"This is it?" I asked, sounding forlorn.

"Yes." Esme reached across the console and grabbed my hand, squeezing gently. "Ready?"

Unable to tear my eyes from the house, I pulled in a deep breath, held it until my lungs hurt, then released it in a blast. "I think so." My throat had suddenly become dry, making my voice barely audible.

I wondered why I was so nervous. I'd met this man before, and he'd been nice enough. It wasn't like he was going to suddenly turn into a nasty person who would refuse my company. But this time there was a huge difference. This time I was seeing him without my rock, without Edward. My heart ached at that thought. I looked up into the visor mirror and looked away quickly. Turmoil didn't suit me.

I hoped that the strange link to the chief would still be there. I needed it. I had very few ties to anyone, and with the connections I had fizzling, I didn't want to lose any more.

"Let's get the food," Esme said quietly, reaching up and squeezing my shoulder.

We stepped out of the car and gathered the containers together. I offered her a small smile before we walked up the path to the chief's home. Esme let me take the lead, and I stood on the doorstep, concentrating on not hyperventilating. After a few minutes of a silent pep talk, I nodded to myself and rang the bell.

A distant chime rang followed by a muffled, "Be right there." It took a few seconds for the door to open, but when it did, I was pleased to see Charlie. He stood in the opening, his curly brown hair damp and matted to his forehead in places. It was strange to see him in casual clothes, though the jeans and flannel shirt suited him.

"Hey," I greeted. "How're you?" That familiar pull still tugged at the back of my mind, the desire to know him pushing me on, even in these more than strange circumstances. Relief filled me. I hadn't lost something else.

"Hello, Isabella, Mrs. Cullen." He stepped back and motioned us into the hall. "I'm good. How 'bout you guys?"

"Okay," I answered.

"We're fine," Esme said from behind me.

When I got my first glimpse of Charlie's place, my heart fell to the floor. I'd hoped that I'd recognize at least one thing but I didn't.

Charlie's house was a true bachelor pad, stark and worn. To the left of the door was a hall tree and place to hang keys. On the key rack hung a gun belt, complete with gun. I guessed that he didn't consider us dangerous enough to hide it.

A little way inside was a staircase leading to the second floor. Opposite the stairs was a doorway to what looked like a handkerchief-sized living room, but my glance was too quick to be sure.

"Where do you want us to put this stuff?" I asked, looking down the hall toward what appeared to be a kitchen. I could see bright yellow cabinets through the small opening. "There?"

"Oh, uh, yeah, in the kitchen," Charlie said, spluttering slightly. Then he began walking down the hall toward the back of the house. "There's lots of room in the fridge. But you can put them on the counter and I'll figure that out later."

Esme and I followed him down the hall to the tiny kitchen. I had to admit that the yellow cabinets added a little bit of brightness to the glum atmosphere. It was like having sunshine trapped inside, while the weather blustered just beyond the windows.

"This is a nice place you have here, sir," I said, trying to be conventional.

"Uh, thanks," he replied. "Please, call me Charlie, Isabella. You too, Mrs. Cullen."

"Bella," I corrected. "Just Bella, please."

"Bella," he said. I could almost hear a smile in his voice. "I appreciate you guys doing this. It's really sweet."

"It was nothing, Charlie. And please call me Esme." The smile on her face was genuine.

"Of course, Esme." He grinned in return. Clearly she'd already won him over.

My stomach growled and I glanced at the microwave on the counter. I couldn't believe how late it was. No wonder I was starving.

"Have you eaten?" asked Charlie. "There's so much food here. And you probably were too busy cooking it to actually eat. I wouldn't mind sharing. I mean, a lot of it'll go bad if you don't."

The sides of my mouth lifted involuntarily. I turned to Esme, hoping she'd say it was all right, even if she wasn't going to eat anything. He was lonely. I was lonely. It seemed perfect.

"That's sounds great, Charlie," she said. "I promised Carlisle I'd be back to help him with something tonight, but Bella can stay. I'll come pick her up later."

"I don't want to be a bother," I said, while I still hoped to find a way to stay.

"I don't mind," Charlie said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Why not?" he said.

"Esme, is that okay?" I couldn't hide the hope in my voice.

"Of course it is, dear. Since Charlie doesn't mind."

"Not at all," he said.

"Cool!" I exclaimed, then hugged Esme goodbye. I leaned up to whisper in her ear. "Thanks."

"I need to leave now," Esme said, smiling. "I'll pick you up at eight. Enjoy dinner."

"See you soon," I called.

"Bye," Charlie said.

"Is lasagna okay?" I asked when the door closed behind Esme. "It's my favorite."

"Sounds good." He walked over to the counter and started sifting through the containers.

"I'll warm it up, if that's okay," I said. "You sit and relax."

He moved aside, allowing me access to the plethora of plastic containers, and I pulled out the one with the lasagna and tore off the top.

"Looks good, too." He smiled wider, then turned to a wooden chair at a mismatched table and sat down. "Thanks, Bella."

The time spent with Charlie was pleasant, though not conversation-heavy. Our silences were not uncomfortable. It wasn't until we'd both finished and I picked up the plates to bring them to the sink that he brought up a subject that made me nervous.

"I heard you went to La Push last week," Charlie said out of nowhere.

I was surprised. How had he known that?

"Um, yeah. I was joy riding in Carlisle's car and wanted to see the beach. How did you know?"

He laughed. "You met my friend's son, Jake."

_Oh _no_._

"Yeah," I said, forcing nonchalance. "What did he say?"

"Not much. Just that you came to La Push. And he was just trying to find out information about you."

"Did he ask about _anything_ else?"

"Not really." He chuckled. "Though he seems to have a shine for you."

I breathed a sigh of relief and Charlie looked at me speculatively.

"He was a nice kid," I said, trying to gloss over my flub. I wondered how much Charlie had told Jake.

"He mentioned you might be interested in his old truck." He leaned in closer, like he was going to tell me some secret. "Billy's had a lot of work done to it. It would probably be a really good truck for you. Sturdy."

"I'm not sure about it," I hedged. "I don't have any money."

"The Cullens seem to have no issues with that," he said matter-of-factly.

"They don't." I shrugged. "But I do."

He nodded. "Well, keep your options open."

"Yeah." I nodded. "Maybe I'll be able to get a part-time job."

"I think I saw that Newton's was hiring."

"Really? I'll ask Mike. Thanks."

After dinner, we moved into the living room. Like I'd thought when I walked by, it was tiny. There was only just room for a TV, sofa and recliner. Charlie made a beeline for the recliner, flopping down with a barely audible sigh. Warmth spread through me, and I was sure I was grinning like a fool. Sitting here with him, in his crowded living room felt right, like I belonged.

The TV popped on and Charlie began to flip through the channels. Why he didn't just use the onscreen guide, I wasn't sure. I scanned the room. Over a small fireplace on the wall opposite, hung a single picture. It appeared to have been taken at a wedding. The man was definitely Charlie. The woman was dark-haired and petite. I couldn't see her features clearly from the distance, but she seemed vaguely familiar. Though I wanted to get up and look at the picture, I didn't. That would have been too conspicuous.

"Football all right?" Charlie asked, breaking me from my fascination with the picture.

"Sure."

He turned again to the TV and raised the volume slightly. Two men were discussing the last play the Seahawks had made, ripping their quarterback apart. It couldn't hold my attention for very long, so I began staring at the picture once again. It was in a strange location, on the far left corner of the fireplace, almost like it had been one of many photos, and the rest had been taken down in a rush.

"I'll be right back," Charlie said a few minutes later.

"Okay."

As soon as I heard his footsteps on the stairs, I rushed across the room and to the picture. I didn't notice any holes in the wall where other pictures could have gone. Maybe it had always been just this one. It still seemed weird, but who was I to judge his decorating skill.

The woman in the photograph was startling. Like I'd thought before, she was familiar, but that could have been because she looked so much like me, except for her blue eyes and oval-shaped face. She didn't appear much older than I did in this picture. I marveled at her nose and lips, it was just like looking into a mirror.

It was strange. I appeared to be a good combination of the couple in the picture, Charlie's hair color and eyes, the woman's hair type and many of her features. I wondered if I _could_ be their child. The evidence I had found seemed to point in that direction. But then again, it also didn't. It was so convoluted.

More questions flitted through my mind. Nothing I knew seemed possible. The only thing I knew for certain was that I had to find out about this woman. She had to be a key to my past.

"You all right, Bella?" Charlie asked, an uncomfortable note to his voice.

"Um, yeah." I cleared my throat. "This from your wedding?"

"Yeah," he said quietly. I hated to see the hurt still apparent on his face. "That was my wife, Renee."

"Renee. Was she from around here?"

He nodded. "We got married just out of school. We shouldn't have… too young, too different."

"That _is_ young. Where did she go… after?"

"She moved to where it was warm, somewhere in California. She'd always liked the heat. I lost touch after that." He was wistful.

"Oh, sorry," I said. "So, um…"

The bell rang, saving me from trying to back track this awkward conversation. I hated seeing Charlie uncomfortable. It was clear that he still loved the woman in the picture.

A quick glance at the clock confirmed it was Esme.

"I'll get it," Charlie said from the doorway. He'd never fully entered the room.

I followed quietly, knowing it was time to leave.

"Hey, Esme," he said.

"Hello, Charlie. Is Bella ready?"

"I am," I called, then walked in front of the open door. "Thanks for everything, Charlie." I wanted to hug him but that would probably be uncomfortable, so I opted for a handshake. His hand was calloused and dry, but comforting and warm. I hated to let go and did so reluctantly.

He moved back and allowed me to pass through. "I should be the one thanking you." He chuckled.

"Well, I'll talk to you soon," I said awkwardly.

"How should I get the containers back to you?"

"We'll pick them up next week… when we bring replacements," Esme called back.

"You don't—"

"We don't, but we want to," I said. I was uncomfortable showing emotion, but there was something about this man. I had to spend time with him.

"Don't forget about the truck," Charlie said. "It's a good buy."

"Yeah." I tried not to let him see my face fall. That sort of freedom would come at a terrible cost.

"What truck?" Esme asked as we pulled out onto the highway.

"Um… when I was in La Push, I ran into a boy. We got to talking and he mentioned a truck for sale."

"How did Charlie know about that?" She sounded nonchalant, but I knew she was fishing.

"The boy's dad is friends with Charlie, and he talked to him about me." I sighed and turned to face her. "Do you think it will create problems?"

"It might. But they were bound to find out anyway."

"I guess," I said. "I just wish it hadn't been my fault."

She laughed. "Bella, we'll deal with it when the time comes."

I nodded.

"Are you interested in the truck?"

"I am but how can we get it without them knowing I'm with you?"

"Go through Charlie."

I didn't know how to answer that, so I didn't. The rest of the trip home was quiet. Perhaps she was right and I could get the freedom I desired. Of course, that didn't mean I had the funds. I decided to think about it. How could I not? I really wanted my own method of transportation, but at the moment, the means to the end wasn't terribly appealing.

I spent the rest of the night up in my room, as had become my pattern. In fact, over the next few weeks, most of my time was spent there, even though Alice tried constantly to break me out of my funk. I adamantly refused her help, allowing my stubborn nature to finally deter her.

Weekends were swallowed with cooking and spending time with Charlie. He'd become more insistent about Jake, quietly, though transparently, trying to get me into a friendship with the boy. If I admitted it to myself, I would have liked to strike up a friendship with him, but the stability of my current circumstances was tenuous, and any relationship with him didn't seem feasible.

Charlie never seemed to question my presence. Actually, he appeared to be happy when I was there. He never said so especially, but our time together was pleasant, even if it wasn't filled with conversation. He wasn't a man used to showing any emotion, but I could tell that, though he was subdued, his feelings ran very deep.

The third Sunday, he surprised me completely.

"Do you do a lot during the week?" he asked. "I'm sure with that many kids, the house is always bustling."

"Everybody kind of goes off and does their own thing. I usually do homework, then spend my time alone for the rest of the day."

"You don't even eat together?"

Well, that would be interesting. "No, everyone has different schedules. Eating together is nearly impossible." They were half truths snowballed into one big lie. I didn't like lying to Charlie. It gnawed at my gut, adding to the annoying emptiness that was already churning around the edges.

"I get off work late some days, but you're welcome to come here, if you like," he said, staring intently at the table. "You know, if you're going to eat alone."

So, I got to spend not only Sundays with Charlie but a few days a week as well. It helped ease my boredom while also easing his.

During my time away, I researched what I could on Renee Swan. Unfortunately, I didn't find much on her. I was able to trace her all the way to a move from California to Arizona. But the trail was pretty quiet after that. I knew I'd have to ask for help trying to find out more information.

As time passed, I also had trouble sleeping. It seemed every night was plagued by nightmares. If it wasn't the dream where I was trapped and burning, it was one involving Edward. There were many variations of my Edward dream but in each, I could never fully see him. He was always turned away, moving away from me. It seemed that no matter how fast I went, he stayed out of reach, barely on the edge of my vision, a faint white light in the darkness of my surroundings.

I had given up trying to talk to Edward. He was only in class for the allotted time and I never saw him at home or in the cafeteria. I knew my remark about his feelings toward me had been over the line, but I didn't think it should affect our friendship so drastically. I'd never thought my comment would bring our contact to an end, and every day I wished I could take my words back. But re-dos weren't something available in life, so I trudged on, pretending like nothing bothered me while the entire time my stomach never settled.

Though I never spoke to him, almost all of my attention was focused on him when he was near. I knew I was only hurting myself but I couldn't stop. Through my silent examination, I had noticed one peculiar thing about him. As time progressed, his eyes darkened to almost black. Then the next time I'd see him, they'd be the familiar gold all the Cullens possessed. I wasn't sure what caused this anomaly, but it was definitely interesting.

When I spent an entire afternoon theorizing and focusing on this aspect, I knew that I was obsessing. I forced myself to think about something else and move on. He didn't want anything to do with me; I shouldn't be so fascinated with him. Of course, that was easier said than done and my absorption increased now matter how I fought it.

A scattering of times over the next few weeks, I didn't even have the distraction of classes. The sun shone in Forks on those days. However, I still never saw _why_ the Cullens weren't allowed in the direct sunlight. I came to believe that was one of the myths that was actually true, and since I didn't want my family to burst into flame, especially in front of me, I went along with it. Of course, that meant trips to Seattle, Portland and various other small cities, all starting so early and ending so late that the sun was sleeping peacefully whenever we were near Forks.

I would have liked to say that I enjoyed my time in the new surroundings, that I had memories standing out in relief against the blurry backdrop my life had become. But I didn't. I spent my time away from the tiny town much like my time at home, in a daze. I followed after Alice, never quite able to match her energy or enthusiasm. I couldn't bring myself to feign even a smidgen of gusto. It wasn't in me.

Over time, even Alice gave up, just dragging me along and leaving me to my preoccupation. Most of the time, I removed myself from everyone at home. I used all my get-up-and-go at school and had no more available once I was alone.

I knew I should _not_ let one person have so much control over my emotions—I was a strong woman who needed to define herself—but at that moment, I couldn't help it. I would bring myself back at some point. I just didn't want to do it quite then.

In early March, Jessica was talking about the upcoming dance, one where girls asked the boys, instead of vice-versa.

"So, I was thinking about asking Mike," Jessica said out of nowhere as we made our way to the cafeteria. "What do you think?"

"I think you should. You'd make a great couple."

She laughed nervously. "You think so? I mean, you weren't planning on asking him, were you? You're pretty good friends."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, that's it. _Just_ friends. I'm not interested in him in any other way. And no, I wasn't going to ask him. You _so_ should."

"Okay, I will." She nodded. "Tonight. I'll call him after school."

"Good."

She beamed as we made our way to the line, her enthusiasm catching for the rest of the day.

Sadly, the next day, Jessica was quiet, taciturn even. I knew this was not a good sign—Mike must not have said yes. I didn't ask her about it though, certain that she wouldn't want to tell me anyway. I hoped he hadn't denied her flat out.

At lunch, she showed some of her usual animation, but it was only to Eric Yorkie. She pointedly sat at the exact opposite end of the table from Mike, ignoring him. He clearly hadn't agreed to go with her. This bothered me, though I wasn't sure why—maybe self-preservation? There had to be a reason he'd said no. I hoped it wasn't me.

I spent the lunch period sitting in the middle of the kids, trying not to pay attention to the eight-hundred pound gorilla in the room. It seemed my life had become constantly walking on broken glass, all the while hoping not to cut myself—especially not around my vampire family.

Mike was uncomfortable on the walk from lunch to Biology. I heard him take several breaths in an attempt to speak, but he never worked up the courage. This did not bode well, and I felt my hands go cold. It looked like my fear that I had been the reason for Mike's rejection swelled again.

"Um, so I was wondering," he began when I sat in my seat next to Edward.

I didn't want to know, but it was rude not to ask. "What?"

He moved closer to me, cutting Edward out of the conversation with his body language, which was strange—Edward had ignored us over the last few weeks, why would he stop now? "Jessica asked me to the dance."

"Great!" I exclaimed a little too loudly. "You should go with her."

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to... if you were going to ask anyone."

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Edward's head move slightly, as if inclining towards us.

"I-I don't know, Mike," I responded stupidly. "I hadn't… um…"

"I mean, I would go with you, if… if you w-wanted."

"Um—"

"She can't go with you."

* * *

End Notes:

SO… who spoke up? What the heck is going on with Charlie? Renee? Bella? The Cullens? It's all so confusing.

Do you think B will be happy or angrier next chapter?

Please don't be angry with my insane little boy. He thinks he's doing the right thing, even if he is delusional.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I F-LOVE you guys. I WILL get to the reviews.

Again, my next chapter is with the betas.

Follow me on Twitter- bonnysammy . I ramble and sometimes post stuff about LC or other things I'm writing. I have a FB, too, but I'm barely on there. My FB is bonny Sammy.

LUV YA,

BS


	21. Confrontations

A|N:

Thank you for reviewing LC! I love and appreciate them all. Really, I do. As always, I am REALLY behind in review replies, but I promise I _will_ respond. Real life keeps me so busy.

Thanks to all the people who have added LC to their favorites or their alerts. And if you've added me as a favorite author, I am amazed. Thank you so much

As always, if anyone is still reading, you rock. I LOVE you guys.

My permanent betas are wonderful. Thanks so much, Strider and jfka06. Of course, I also send my love to my lovely prereaders, nowforruin and bookgeek80. Both rock my socks. Strider and nowforruin are also writers, and they're stuff is amazing. Go read and Review.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

Someone asked for a summary next time I posted. That was a great idea. Here it is:

Bella woke up lost, alone and afraid. She wandered but found no one until Alice, Esme and Carlisle found her. They took her into their home. Edward reacted as expected and ran to Alaska. Bella went to stay in the cottage, where she found some information on an Isabella Swan, but strangely that information disappeared. Edward returned home and the Cullens convinced Bella to return home.

Bella was found to have a strange talent, so the Denali coven came to meet her and find out more about her gift. It seems our little Bella is a shield, but that she can also echo other's gifts. So, she can see the visions Alice sees and hear Edward's thoughts. But it's a weaker version of their abilities, and she needs skin contact.

Bella has learned about vampire mating, but she doesn't believe that Edward feels that way about her. So, she has decided to sit back and watch what happens with him. She's spent a lot of time with him, learning to drive, learning to play piano and learning a tiny bit about her past.

Then she saw Tyler get into an accident and rushed to help, falling and blacking out.

Bella had fallen and hit her head, landing herself in the hospital. When she was about to leave, the chief of police showed up. There was some sort of connection to him, though she isn't sure why. Then there was a blowup between Edward and Bella. They both said some things that probably shouldn't have been said. Bella ended up running from the house.

Bella ran off in a tiff, eventually winding up in La Push, where she met Jake. After a few days of not speaking to Edward, she decided to do something and came up with an excuse to see Charlie.

So she met and spent time with Charlie, noticing a picture of a woman whom she closely resembled while at his house.

Weeks past and Edward paid her no attention. Finally, at the end of last chapter, Mike asked her to the dance.

* * *

Chapter 21 - Confrontations

I glanced in Edward's direction, my eyes opened wide in shock. He hadn't spoken in weeks, and _now_ he was acknowledging my presence. Sure, he was saving me, but I couldn't help but feel infuriated. I wasn't just angry. Unfortunately, that also included irrational emotions. Like the weak child I had somehow become, I was also excited at Edward's attention. I pushed that feeling aside. Irritation was a much more logical tactic. I sat watching the interaction with a scowl on my face, figuring out my next step.

"What business is it of yours?" Mike asked, echoing my agitation while simultaneously stepping away from Edward. Even in his bravado, he still reacted to Edward's dangerous nature. It was almost comical.

"She's already agreed to go with someone." His black eyes flashed to me in warning and then back to Mike. Obediently, I stayed quiet. I wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth, but if I hadn't been so desperate to get away from Mike, I would have. Still I wondered where Edward's statement came from. He knew that I hadn't accepted or made an offer. Was he playing all-conquering hero again? I internally rolled my eyes at that thought.

"Who?" Mike asked a little confrontationally, though his hunched shoulders and down-turned head screamed submission.

"Me, of course." Edward's tone was brusque and dismissive. "She agreed weeks ago."

"Fine," Mike said, shaking his head and glaring at the table—clearly too frightened to actually look him in the eye. "What about—"

"She agreed to prom as well," Edward interjected.

I wanted to jump in and tell him that he had no right to answer for me, that I was my own person and could speak for myself. However I still didn't feel comfortable with Mike, so I kept my mouth shut, glad not to be the one to have to let him down. Mike seemed like the over-persistent type, and I didn't want to have to deal with that. Maybe Edward's words would help keep him at bay.

I didn't know if I'd regret my decision later.

"Oh," Mike said, narrowing his eyes at Edward.

"Um, yeah, Mike… you didn't say no to Jess, did you?" I asked, hoping he hadn't flat out refused her.

"No," he said, shaking his head. "I told her I'd think about it."

"Good!" I tried to sound excited. "That's great, actually. So… don't mention anything about this." I gestured between us. "Just tell her yes. You'll have a lot of fun with her, and I know she really wants to go with you."

"Okay." He sounded a little more enthusiastic. "Jess _is_ cool." He turned and walked to his desk in some sort of stupor.

_Way to pine, Mike._

As he sat, I turned to Edward, not knowing how the next few minutes would play out. What would he say now that he'd acknowledged my existence? When I faced him, he was staring at me, his black eyes trying to read me. He glanced down at my hand quickly, then back to my face. I pulled my sleeve down my arm, covering my skin. He wasn't getting to my thoughts that way. They were far too jumbled anyway.

I heard Mr. Banner make his way to the front of the room and start class, but I was too lost in Edward's gaze to turn and face forward, like I should have.

All the while, Edward just sat there, his eyes never leaving mine. I expected him to speak, but no words left his mouth. Pulled into the black hole that was Edward, I couldn't utter a syllable either.

"…Mr. Cullen?"

Oh no, Mr. Banner had noticed our distraction—how could he not? At least he hadn't asked me. Edward could just pick the words from his head. That was if he had noticed his name being called.

I opened my eyes wider, tilting my head slightly toward the front of the room.

"Mr. Cullen, do you have an answer?"

Edward turned to the front, releasing me from his hold. "The Krebs Cycle."

I was finally able to think clearly.

Why was I so weak? He hadn't paid attention to me in weeks. How could I allow him to have such an affect just from looking at me? Did his interest somehow absolve him from his rudeness? No, it didn't. Besides, he hadn't even spoken _to_ me, just around me, choosing to make his presence known to Mike of all people instead.

I sat through the rest of the class readying myself for what would happen after. If he didn't speak to me, it was just more of the same I'd endured over the last few weeks. If he did, would he ask me to speak to him? If so, would I forgive him? Would I speak to him? Did I want to?

I should ignore him like he had ignored me for weeks. Then again, two wrongs didn't make a right. And though it was well within my rights to play the same game, did I want to act as childish as he had? Maybe I should be the bigger person and…

Well, all this didn't matter if he didn't speak. I was going to act like nothing had happened, just pretend everything was the same as when I'd first entered the class. I wasn't putting myself out there to have my feelings trampled again.

"Bella?"

The classroom was a jumble of students readying themselves. The noise stunned me when I became aware of my surroundings. I hadn't even noticed the bell had rung. How long ago had that happened? I really needed to focus on what was going on around me rather than enveloping myself in all things Edward.

"What?" I asked, more petulantly than I had meant. "Are you speaking to me now?" I looked away, shaking my head in anger. At whom I wasn't sure.

"No, not really... Yes." He sounded slightly desperate. "I don't know."

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and then faced him. "What _do_ you know, Edward? Because all I know is that you've ignored me for weeks. And now, you decide to jump in and play savior. I could've handled it myself." I looked to the front of the room, set my jaw and said, "You don't need to save me."

"What if I want to?"

He spoke so quietly, I wasn't sure I'd heard him correctly, so I whipped my head in his direction. "What?"

"Nothing." His lips twitched, and he let out a small gust of air. "Bella, this… me, I'm not good for you. You know how dangerous I am."

"Whatever," I said, standing up and gathering my books. "I've had enough of this 'it's not you; it's me' crap."

"I don't think you—"

"I do, Edward," I griped, picking up my pile of books from the desk, and turned to leave the room. "I don't have all day. I have to go to class. _You_ really need to make a decision: friendship or not. But I've had enough of this. You're going to have to fish or cut bait."

I didn't turn back to see his reaction, instead choosing to sweep dramatically from the room. Of course, I stumbled over the door frame, watching as my books fell to the floor. At least I'd kept myself mostly upright.

Why couldn't I just have that one moment? Instead my clumsiness had to take over, and I wound up making a fool of myself in front of him. It wasn't the first time, but I hoped it would be the last.

"Here are your books," he said quietly, appearing before me. He already had them piled up in his arm.

I reached out and grabbed my stuff. "Thank you."

His face fell at the chill in my voice. "You're welcome." He spoke kindly, softly, almost making me feel bad for being so rude.

I spun around and made my way toward the gym, ignoring his stricken face. He'd made his own bed; it was time he laid in it –even if he wasn't going to sleep.

Gym was typical. I tripped over my own feet, hit multiple people with the equipment and somehow wound up getting water all over my regular clothes and jacket when I went to wash my hands. As a result, I froze on my walk to the car.

Before I could make it past the corner of the gym, I noticed a tall figure leaning against the brick façade. I faltered, then recognized Eric Yorkie's black hair.

"Hey, Bella," he called as I neared.

"What's up?" I asked, not liking the hint of hesitation in his voice. Why was he nervous?

"Um… well, I was… um, are you going to the dance?"

_Oh no._ "Yeah, I kind of already have plans." I still wasn't sure they were plans I wanted to keep. It wasn't like Edward had even asked. It wasn't like he'd even spoken to me about his announcement.

"Oh, okay." He looked crushed and I hated being the one who'd done that to him, even if I wasn't interested. Suddenly his face lit up. "But there's still prom."

"Um… I don't know—"

He seemed oblivious to my attempt at evasion, still grinning gleefully. I hoped I hadn't given him the wrong impression.

"All right." He turned and walked in the opposite direction from the parking lot. "Bye."

"Yeah, bye," I said weakly, hoping he'd forget about his offer.

I thought I was home free once I turned the corner. Then I got halfway across the building.

"Bella!" I heard a boy yell. "Bella, wait up."

_Ugh!_

I looked behind me to see Tyler jogging in my direction.

I stopped and waited for him to catch up.

"Bella," he said when he neared me.

"Tyler."

_Now that we have introductions down, let's get to the reason you're talking to me._

"So, um, I was wondering…" All his usual overconfidence was gone, his usual swagger all but nonexistent as he took the last few steps.

"Y-yeah?"

_Please tell me this is not happening._

He stopped, squared his shoulders and plastered on a confident smile. How quickly he regained his arrogance, no matter how fake. "So… would you ask me to the dance?"

_Well, that was blatant._

"No, Tyler, I'm already going with someone else." I tempered my voice. He didn't know about all the problems this stupid dance had caused me today.

"Oh, I'd heard that."

_And yet you still asked?_

"Um…"

"Yeah, I thought maybe Mike was making it up. That you were letting him down nicely."

"No, Tyler, I'm wasn't." I didn't mask my frustration at all.

"Keep your schedule open for prom," he said, then strode off haughtily. Why did all males think they had the right to tell females what to do? That surely seemed the case here, no matter how old they were. I had examples ranging from seventeen to one-hundred three.

I walked the rest of the way to the car muttering to myself, all thoughts of depression having left. I wasn't going to let any of _them_ rule my life any more.

"Bella!" Alice stood beside Emmett's car, a smirk on her face. As expected, the Volvo was nowhere to be seen when I reached the lot. "What's up?"

From her grin, I knew she'd seen everything that had happened.

"You could've warned me, you know."

"What would've been the fun in that?" She laughed. "Besides some situations need a swift kick in the butt to get started."

"Huh?"

"You'll see." She opened my door. "Let's get going."

"Alice, you know I hate it when you manipulate the future," I said when she closed the door behind her. "Can't you just let stuff happen naturally?"

"Trust me, Bella. You _are_ going to be happy."

"Well, I'm not _happy_."

"I know," she said quietly. "If I could say more, I would. But no matter how I try, I always mess things up." She sounded so sad, so dejected. "Honestly, Bella, you know I don't want you to suffer."

"I get it," I said, more irritable than I'd meant. "But why do you have to play with _my_ life? I have so little to begin with."

"I'm not playing with your life. I'm just helping you along the path I've seen will make you happiest in the end."

"I'm not arguing about this anymore," I huffed. "I see how it is. You won't stop meddling, and I'll always be your pawn."

"You're not my pawn, Bella." She sighed. "I'm sorry you feel that way."

"Well, that's just the way it is for me."

"No, you're very strong," she stated. "You just don't see it."

"Thanks for that vote of confidence."

"Listen, this upsets you. You'll see how everything is going to play out. Let's talk about something else."

"Like what?" My anger was apparent.

"Edward seemed in a better mood this afternoon."

"I wouldn't know." I looked out the passenger window. "He didn't really talk to me."

"He asked me to let you know that he _had to_ go out for a little while. He'll be back tonight. And he's asked you to wait up for him; he won't be too late."

"It seems I'm always waiting for him." I sighed, still staring out the window. She'd already made it half way home during our short conversation. "Maybe I've had enough. Maybe I don't want to wait anymore."

She laughed. "I know that's not true."

"I'm not so sure." I shook my head. "I'm sick of the constant mood swings."

"I'm sure you are, Bella. But he's new to this. He doesn't under—"

"_He's_ new?" I screamed, whipping my head in her direction. "I'm new to _everything_. I don't have a hundred years experience, only a few months. And I don't act like _that_."

"No, you don't. But he's been confused. I think he's sorted it out, now."

"I'm _so_ glad."

"Sarcasm doesn't help anything."

"I know," I huffed, turning back to the window. "I just never know what to expect, and I've had some time to think over the last few weeks. I just… don't know. I'm at my wit's end." A few minutes passed in silence. "Do you think you could help me with some research this afternoon?"

"Of course," she said through laughter. "So we're looking for a Renee Swan."

"Yes. You knew all along and didn't help?" I asked acerbically. "Do you all think I'm incapable of doing anything, or are you _all_ that controlling?"

"Bella, you didn't decide to ask me until a few seconds ago. I didn't know you wanted to find out more information."

I rolled my eyes, knowing she couldn't see it. "So what do you see?"

"Not much," she said. "At least not tonight. But maybe it'll help us move closer to finding out something."

I sighed. "Yeah, maybe."

As I already knew, betting against Alice was a sure sign of insanity. She had predicted that we wouldn't find anything and of course, we didn't. The trail ended a few months prior, in Arizona. I knew there had to be something I was missing, something that was staring me right in the face.

"We can ask Jazz to look tomorrow," Alice suggested. "He's great at this stuff."

"Okay."

"I'm going to go upstairs and spend some time with him." She pointed to the ceiling. "We'll take this up again. Please stay down here and wait for Edward to come home. He _needs_ to talk to you."

"I'm going to get a book and read down here."

"Great!" she exclaimed, blurring up the stairs.

I followed, climbing the stairs slowly. I grabbed my copy of _A Tale of Two Cities._ Perhaps surrounding myself in revolutionary era France would distract me for a little while.

I tried to lose myself in the book, like I usually was able, but my efforts were fruitless. Words melded into phrases and sentences, eventually blending into meaningless paragraphs that I found myself reading over and over. No matter how many times I read the same passages, I couldn't understand the context of the words. My mind was too busy preoccupying itself with Edward.

I wanted him to return, so that we could resolve the issue and become friends again. I wanted him home, so I could scream at him and ask why he'd ignored me for so long. I didn't want him there because I was frightened of what he would say and that this would be the end of any relationship. His mercurial temperament and flair for the dramatic made me wonder why I even cared. I had enough to worry about without throwing his issues onto the ever-increasing pile, but I couldn't pull away. In many ways, I didn't want to.

After a while, I plugged my ear buds into my ears, hoping the music would drown the echoing doubts and questions battering the inside of my head. I was able to lose myself slightly in the beats, but not completely.

I noticed the cool breeze that blew by, but I didn't acknowledge it. Goosebumps rose beneath my sleeves and my heart rate picked up, but I tried to remain impassive. I kept my eyes firmly glued to my book, hoping for a few moments of calm before the inevitable storm.

He was here.

I ignored him as completely as he'd ignored me these last few weeks, my nose firmly buried in my book. Was I being childish? Probably. But he'd been worse.

"Bella?" Edward called from my right, his voice muted. I finally lowered my book, looking up. He was there, crouching down to my eye level.

"Sit down, Edward." I moved over on the couch. "You should be comfortable." I worked to keep my voice level.

"I'm fine. I don't ne—" he began to protest.

"Sit." I gestured to the sofa. "You're making _me_ uncomfortable."

He lifted the sides of his mouth, moving to sit on the couch. I slid closer to him when his weight hit the cushion, so I moved away again, pulling my feet up on the sofa and putting them between us as a barrier.

"I—I don't know how to start this, Bella."

"I guess _I_ can start by thanking you for taking care of Mike this afternoon. It was… _chivalrous_ of you. Thanks." I let a tiny bit of sarcasm slip through, though I was grateful.

"I could see he was making you ill at ease." He inclined his head. "Besides I was… well, I felt… I don't know how to say it."

"Just spit it out."

"I didn't like the thought of him going to that dance with you." He shook his head, a look of astonishment on his face. "I couldn't stand it."

"I've told you I can handle myself."

"It wasn't that," he said. "I—I was jealous, I guess." He looked down to his lap. "I've seen it through other's eyes, but never my own. It was so strong. I couldn't stop myself."

"So you wanted to go with me?" I hated the hope that squeaked in my question.

"Of course, Bella." He sighed and looked up to meet my gaze. "I'm not the easiest person to get along with, I know that. But I always want to spend time with you."

I tried to calm myself. That one sentence had me flying high, even through my exasperation at his actions. I needed to center myself, instead of acting like a giddy schoolgirl.

"You haven't shown that recently."

"I haven't," he agreed. "Like I said, though, I'm not the best… _friend_ for you. You deserve so much better."

"I don't think so."

"I know you don't." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "But I don't think you're the best judge of what's dangerous for you sometimes."

"Excuse me?" I shouted. "You think I can't make decisions for myself, so you make them for me? What are you, my father?"

"No," he groaned. "No, I didn't mean it like that. I'm not saying the right words. I did make a decision without your input. You're right. I was wrong."

"At least you can admit it," I grumbled, settling down.

"I can." He nodded. "I apologize for the way I've treated you recently. Do you think you can forgive me?"

I sighed. "I'm not sure. You just stopped talking to me… for weeks. Now you expect to come back, and I'll just act like nothing happened. And you won't even tell me why."

"Yes," he breathed. "I know it isn't much—"

"Much?" I yelled. "It's nothing, Edward. Nothing. How can I be sure you won't do something like that again? It's not the first time."

"I promise you that I won't make decisions for you." He leaned down so that he was eye level with me. "I'm sorry for how I've hurt you. I thought I was doing the right thing. But I wasn't. I _won't_ do it again."

"I don't know," I whispered. "It's just too much. I can't take this constant up and down, never knowing what's going to annoy or upset you."

He reached out and cupped his hand around my cheek. I hadn't realized until now how much I'd missed his touch, even with its chill, until I felt his skin against mine.

"Bella," he said, my name sounding like it burned him. "I can't stay away from you. I can't fight this anymore. I don't want to. I never did, but that didn't stop me from trying. Everything I did was for you, even if it backfired horribly."

"I don't understand."

"No, you don't." He moved closer, almost blurring in his proximity. His eyes burned with their intensity. "I don't like the horrors you're exposed to just by living with us. But by being _with_ one of us…" He closed his eyes and shook his head. "And I'd be the reason…"

Why couldn't he just finish a thought? His actions and words seemed in direct contrast, thoroughly confusing me. I could have just touched him, but there were so many thoughts running through my mind that I didn't want him to know.

"Being with one of you." I searched my mind trying to make sense of him. I was with one of them all of the time. "What do you mean?"

"Yes. Bella, with one of us. Can't you see? I'm in—"

"Hold that thought," Alice yelled from the kitchen doorway. "We've got more pressing issues."

Edward pulled back, pressing the inside corners of his eyes. "What could possibly be that important that you had to… Oh! When did this start?"

"What?" I asked. "What's going on?"

"I'm not sure." Alice's words were stilted, halting. "It's just… it's…"

"Our future disappears in a few seconds. Rather abruptly. It frightened her."

"What does that mean?" I asked, sounding hysterical.

"I don't know," Alice whined, flashing over to us. "It's only happened once before when—"

"Why didn't you tell me about that?" Edward growled, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

"You really weren't around to tell now, were you?"

"Whatever's coming, I don't think arguing is going to help," I said, trying to placate the two of them. "Let's try to figure out what's going on."

"We don't need to figure out anything at all." Edward looked to the door. "The cat's out of the bag. They know and they're here."

"Cat?" I asked, walking into Edward's line of sight. My voice had lost all intonation. "What cat?"

How much more could I handle?

Suddenly, something or someone thumped against the front door.

* * *

End Notes:

Thank you again for getting to the end of this chapter. I love you guys.

I hope you don't hate the characters—or me— after this.

RL—health issues, work, family, etc.— has totally monopolized my time. I apologize for the delay.

For any questions/theories, please visit the thread on Twi'd: http:/twilighted(DOT)net/forum/viewtopic(DOT)php?f=33&t=7526&start=120

Follow me on Twitter- bonnysammy . I ramble and sometimes post stuff about LC or other things I'm writing. I have a FB, too, but I'm barely on there. My FB is bonny Sammy


	22. Agitation

Thank you for reviewing LC! I 3 and appreciate them all. As always, I am REALLY behind in review replies, but I promise I _will_ respond. Do I sound like a broken record, or what?

Thanks to all the people who have added LC to their favorites or their alerts. And if you've added me as a favorite author, I am amazed. Thank you so much.

As always, if anyone is still reading, you rock. I LOVE you guys.

My permanent betas are wonderful. Thanks so much, Strider and jfka06. Of course, I also send my love to my lovely prereaders, nowforruin and bookgeek80. Strider and nowforruin are also writers, and they're stuff is amazing. Go read and Review.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

Summary:

Bella woke up lost, alone and afraid. She wandered but found no one until Alice, Esme and Carlisle found her. They took her into their home. Edward reacted as expected and ran to Alaska. Bella went to stay in the cottage, where she found some information on an Isabella Swan, but strangely that information disappeared. Edward returned home and the Cullens convinced Bella to return home.

Bella was found to have a strange talent, so the Denali coven came to meet her and find out more about her gift. It seems our little Bella is a shield, but that she can also echo other's gifts. So, she can see the visions Alice sees and hear Edward's thoughts. But it's a weaker version of their abilities, and she needs skin contact.

Bella has learned about vampire mating, but she doesn't believe that Edward feels that way about her. So, she has decided to sit back and watch what happens with him. She's spent a lot of time with him, learning to drive, learning to play piano and learning a tiny bit about her past.

Then she saw Tyler get into an accident and rushed to help, falling and blacking out.

Bella had fallen and hit her head, landing herself in the hospital. When she was about to leave, the chief of police showed up. There was some sort of connection to him, though she isn't sure why. Then there was a blowup between Edward and Bella. They both said some things that probably shouldn't have been said. Bella ended up running from the house.

Bella ran off in a tiff, eventually winding up in La Push, where she met Jake. After a few days of not speaking to Edward, she decided to do something and came up with an excuse to see Charlie.

So she met and spent time with Charlie, noticing a picture of a woman whom she closely resembled while at his house.

Weeks past and Edward paid her no attention. Finally, at the end of last chapter, Mike asked her to the dance. Edward couldn't handle that, so he finally spoke up again. Their first communication after the "hiatus" was strained. Later in the day, Edward apologizes… just as he's about to tell her something REALLY important, there's a bang at the door…

Uh-oh!

* * *

Chapter 22 - Agitation

Edward looked to me, his eyes almost beseeching—for what I wasn't sure, though his expression sent chill down my spine. What could make him so upset? Before I could ask, his head whipped to the door and back. He held out his hand, that same question apparent in the set of his brow.

Since this seemed like a particularly tense situation, I decided to stop pouting and act like the mature adult I was. Of course, I still let my distaste show by sighing loudly before grasping his hand.

_Before you say anything, don't. _Even his thoughts sounded slightly frantic._ Don't speak. I don't want _them_ knowing you're on the other side of the door._

_Who? What's going on?_ What could this _they_ be that a couple of vampires were frightened of them?

_First, thank you… for trusting me._

_Uh-huh. There's _never_ been an issue with my trust, Edward. _W_hat's happening? _

_The Quileutes know of your existence._ He looked away again. _They're here._

_How?_ I could feel the fear spread through my system, carrying adrenaline and increasing my heart rate

_I can't tell that much, just that they're not pleased with the current circumstances. _He sighed. _Well, what they _think_ are the circumstances._

The word murder slipped through from another line of his thoughts.

The Cullens weren't like that. _But we know that's not what…I mean, it's not like you're keeping me like cattle or something, to slaughter—_

_Of course not._ He reached up with his other hand to cup my cheek. _Never. We'd _never_ want to hurt you._

_At least not any more. _I joked. _That _first_ time, however._

_Not the time, Bella._ He lowered his brows over his eyes and set his jaw.

_So, what's going to happen?_ I looked anxiously to the door, still confused as to why he seemed so nervous, unless… _are they going to take me away? _

He shrugged. _They might try, but we won't let that happen, unless you want it._

_No._ I shook my head. _Will they hurt you? I've just gotten you back._ I hadn't meant for that last thought to slip through.

He forced the corners of his mouth up. _Everything will be fine. We just have to be careful. _

_What? I mean, how? _My thoughts were beginning to jumble together. What had I done? My being here was a mistake, and then to walk into the wolves' den willingly and bring them down upon them… upon us. How could I have been so stupid and selfish and—

"No," Edward said. _Never think like that. This would have happened anyway._

_Sure it would've._ There was another boom against the door. I sucked in a quick breath, turning to where the sound had just come from.

_You aren't going to like this. _

I pulled my attention away from the loud bang and back to him. _What?_

_I don't think you should be here when I open the door. I don't know how they'll react to seeing you here._ There was something in his thoughts, something muted, nearly silent. I could only make out the words scent and beat.

_I don't want to leave you alone._ I couldn't leave him alone. If they did something because of me, I couldn't live with myself.

_I won't be alone. _He squeezed my hand_. Alice called Emmett and Jasper. They're stepping into the kitchen right now. Don't worry about me._

Judging by their impatience, these people were already annoyed enough. And my presence might only incite these people more. He was probably right.

_I _am_ right._ He nodded in time with his thoughts.

_And oh so arrogant, too. _I smiled to assure him that I was joking.

His eyes twinkled. _I've missed you._

_It's your own fault._

He nodded. _I know. But that's not important right now. Getting you out, your safety, that's what matters. _"Alice?"

Her eyes became unfocused. "That looks like it's probably the best. I don't _see_ anything happening..." That wasn't saying much. She couldn't see anything at all for some reason. "Jazz, Em, you'll stay, right?"

I whipped around, pulling my hand from Edward's. I hadn't even noticed their presence or their voices added to Alice's high-pitched hum running in the back of Edward's mind.

They nodded.

"What about Jelly Bean?" Emmett asked. He said Bella Dean, my chosen name, reminded him of the term, so to my chagrin, it had become my nickname.

"We're leaving," Alice said. She raced to gather my coat, then turned to me. "Ready?"

I nodded.

Quicker than I could comprehend, my coat was on and I was shoved onto Alice's back and out of the house via the kitchen. She raced toward the river, jumping its width easily, even with my added weight.

"They're only up front, so they won't know you've left," Alice said, when we were quite a bit from the house.

I leaned my head toward her ear and whispered. "Can I talk now?"

She nodded. "They won't hear you."

"What do you think is going to happen? Will they be all right?" We both knew that although I was also worried about Jasper and Emmett, my thoughts were focused on Edward.

Suddenly, I recognized our surroundings. We were nearing the cottage. I hadn't realized the shortest route was over the river. When we were within a few feet, she set me down.

"I don't know, Bella." She sighed. "I can't see them right now. It seems the… others block my sight."

I gasped. "So they're flying blind? What if something happens to them?" To _him_. "It'll be all my fault."

She wrapped an arm around me and led me to the door. "Nothing will happen. Right now all the wol—Quilleutes have is speculation."

"Yeah, but I'm sure it's information from both the boy I met and Charlie Swan. I think both will be considered reputable." What had I done?

As I entered through the doorway, I was surprised that the cottage was fairly warm. In the little fireplace, the glow of a recently lit fire attracted my attention. I walked toward it.

"You need to stop worrying," Alice chided. "We were around a long time before you came along, and we survived."

"And you'll be here long after I've gone." I rolled my eyes at the flames flickering before me. "I know."

"I'm not so sure about that, Bella."

"_Another_ cryptic statement, Alice." I shook my head and turned to her. "I can't take that crap when everything is as tense as it is."

"He'll be really angry for this, but you need to know."

"Who? Know what?"

"You aren't going to be leaving us any time soon, Bella." Her eyes were kind.

"I'm sure I have another sixty or seventy years left in me."

"No, you don't understand." She grabbed me by the shoulders. "You'll likely be with us a lot longer than that."

"What does that even mean, Alice?"

She looked away. "You love us, right? Edward?"

"Of course I love you guys."

"Edward?"

"I love you all."

"That isn't an answer, Bella." She spun around to me. "I _need _the truth."

I sighed. I should have known she'd corner me at some time. "It's so confusing. And… anything I tell you...well, let's just say, it's impossible to keep secrets with you guys."

She laughed, too lightly for the dread that had surrounded me, and annoyance flooded over me. "You think that after over fifty years of being around Edward, I don't know how to keep secrets? I can keep my mind occupied, Bella."

"Even so..."

"He only hears the thoughts I'm currently having." She sighed. "And I've kept him out since you arrived, silly."

"What were you keeping secret?"

"I need your answer, your _truthful_ answer. I can't explain myself until you do."

"Yes," I breathed. "Yes, I love him." I covered my eyes with my hands. "But you can't tell him anything. He can't know."

"Why not?" she asked, confusion lacing her tone.

"He _can't_ know. I've only just gotten him back as a friend. I don't want to scare him off."

Unexpectedly, she laughed. "You are so obtuse sometimes. He feels the same, you silly girl. Anyway, your futures are intertwined." She was so nonchalant. It confused me.

"Intertwined?"

"Yes, he is as bound to you as you are to him."

"So it's _written_ in the stars?" I asked sarcastically. "Like some sappy romance novel?"

"Something like that." She laughed again. "Don't forget, I've seen your future, distant included."

"And?"

"You two are meant for each other. You _will _be together. That much is certain."

My heart, which had calmed began to race again. "Really?"

"Yes." She nodded. "But there's more."

"More?"

"You will be like us one day."

"What?" I squeaked. "You've seen that?" My voice broke. I wasn't sure I wanted that future. It didn't seem too bad, but still I only knew being human. What experience did I have to judge?

She nodded again. "Yes, Bella." She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a hug. "But it will have to be your decision. If you don't want it, it won't happen."

Did I want it? I didn't think so. But Alice had seen that future, so I must want it. I was thoroughly confused.

"I don't know how to feel about this. It's so strange."

"I wouldn't know." She gestured to the chair. "Sit. I'll let you know when they're done. You need to relax."

I mechanically sat in the chair, not noticing anything but the confusion and fear battling in my head. Though Alice's revelation should have taken precedence in my mind, the fact that my family might have been in danger kept popping up. My uncontrollable thoughts ran rampant.

How could I make such a permanent and extreme change? How was the meeting going? How could I bet my future without knowing anything about myself? Was Edward—and everyone else—okay? How could I be sure that when I finally found my past, I wouldn't want to return to it? Why was he taking so long to come back to me?

My apparent future and my current predicament had befuddled and frightened me. Relief flooded through me when the door of the cottage flung open. I raised my head from my hands and turned my head, only to see Edward in the doorway. After a deep breath, my lungs able to function properly at last, I was capable of speech. It was so much easier without the dreadful lump that had refused to dislodge itself until that moment.

"Edward," I said breathlessly, like I had been the one to run all the way from the house.  
I rose from my chair, amazed to find that I had more strength than I felt. The thoughts running through my mind fought each other to stay for more than a split second, as I struggled to form anything coherent other than chanting, _he's here; he's fine._

Instantly Edward was at my side, offering to help me up the rest of the way. I wasn't having any of that, though, instead righting myself and flinging my arms around him. Though I didn't understand how the small tribe could be dangerous, it was clear that they were. The fear in my family's eyes and their reactions had indicated the severity of the situation. In seeing him, I was finally able to realize how anxious I had been. My entire system had been overwrought.

Edward wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his chest as I melted against him. He wasn't soft or warm, but cuddling against him was much more preferable than sitting in the plush chair.

"You're okay." I nuzzled deeper into his chest, like bringing him closer would bring the answers all into focus. At that moment, I realized how much I'd missed his scent. I hadn't realized I'd noticed it so much before. Now I didn't want to live without it. "Nothing bad happened, did it?"

"That depends on your definition of bad," he hedged, pulling me toward the sofa. "Sit down. We have a lot to discuss."

I complied. "What happened?"

"Well, as you know, we met with the Quilleutes."

"Uh-huh." I nodded and held out my hand, gesturing him to continue.

"We explained the situation. How your father was friends with Carlisle before we lived here…"

"Okay. So they know the public story."

He nodded. "They also think that we're looking for a more… permanent place of residence for you."

"Oh… so I'm not staying with you?" I stood up and walked to the fireplace. "They're making me leave?"

"Of course not, Bella," Alice scoffed. "I told you that."

"It's just part of the story." Edward's arms wrapped around me. "I think you should probably sit down. There's more we need to discuss."

I sighed and turned back to the chair. I stared at it for a moment, deciding to sit elsewhere instead. I walked to the couch and sat. "Okay. Spit it out." I patted the seat next to me.

Edward sat next to me, his unease filling the room. I wanted to move closer, but I thought that I would give him his distance.

"Actually, I'm going to get going," Alice said. "I want to get back to Jasper."

"Sure," I said. "See you later."

Edward just shook his head. "Bye, Alice."

She rushed over, kissed me on the cheek, then flew out the door.

"Guess she didn't want to get in the middle of a fight," I quipped. "I assume I'm not going to like this."

"Unfortunately, you might not. They would only leave if we agreed to one… stipulation." He looked slightly abashed. "I didn't want to agree to it but it was the only way to get them to leave."

I didn't like the sound of his voice.

"If you don't want to do this… well, then, you won't have to."

"What, Edward," I snapped. "Just say it. Anything's got to be better than this… this waiting."

"They wanted to meet with you. Make sure that you are fine and that we're not keeping you against your will. They weren't going to leave until they saw you were alive and well tonight, but we convinced them you were shopping with friends."

"You're not keeping me against my will," I said. "Of course, you're not."

"We know that, but they don't see why a human would willingly stay with us." He shook his head. "I can understand that."

"So, you told them I know?"

"They had to know," Edward groaned. "I didn't want anyone else to have that knowledge but if we hadn't told them, that would have confirmed that our intentions were not… honorable."

"I guess it's better that they know," I agreed. "So I have to meet with them?"

"Only if you want, Bella." He reached out and rubbed his thumb across my cheek. "I told you, I'm not making decisions for you. They're yours to make, not mine."

"Do you think I should?"

He sighed, pulling his hand away to press against the inside corners of his eyes. "I don't know. It will be easier if they see you and hear you say that you're happy and healthy. But I don't want you that close to them."

"Why are you so scared of them?"

"I'm not frightened." His voice sounded slightly exasperated. He lowered his hand, and looked me directly in the eye. "Not for me at least. I just don't like you being so close to them."

"Will they hurt me?" I asked, confused. "I mean, I thought it was you they didn't like."

"No, they won't hurt you." He let out a gust of air. "I wouldn't let it get that far. I just don't trust them to… keep their tempers. I'm worried that they'll… say something to bother you."

"Is that it? I think I can handle hearing something I don't like."

He nodded.

"So I should meet with them…"

"It's your choice."

"Will someone go with me?"

"Of course," he said. "I couldn't handle the anxiety otherwise. Carlisle would need to be there, as our leader."

I nodded. "Definitely. You?" My voice cracked on my question.

"I would like to be there but only if you want me."

I hated how uncertain he was. How had our friendship dissolved this far? I ran my hand along his upper arm. "I want you there, Edward. More than anyone else."

He smiled, the gesture beatific. "Good. I didn't know what I would do if you didn't." He paused, as if seeming to gather his thoughts. "I'd like Jasper and Emmett to be there too."

"I'd like that," I agreed. "But won't that make them feel overwhelmed, having all of you?"

"They would be nearby, not right there."

"Oh, okay. That's fine, I guess." Suddenly, I felt cold. "When will I have to do this?"

"The sooner the better." Edward confirmed my fears. "It's too late tonight. So we told them tomorrow night?"

I took a deep breath. "I guess that's best."

"Don't worry, Bella. Everything will be fine." He reached out and grabbed my hand. _I wouldn't let it be any other way. I couldn't stand it to be. _His eyes were warm, burning in fact.

I felt uncomfortable with his intensity and pulled my hand away.

"Okay. So I'll go see them."

He nodded, then looked around the room. "We should probably get back to the house."

"I guess so. Oh, and Edward?"

He turned to face me again.

"This may not be the time to finish the conversation from before… but this—" I motioned between us—"doesn't change everything."

"I know." He smiled half-heartedly.

"You'll have to do a lot to convince me."

"I know."

"But thanks. You know, for giving me the opportunity to make this decision."

"Of course, Bella."

"So, you going to race me back?"

He laughed at my abrupt change of subject.

"Hey, you never know, I might win."

"Good luck with that."

"On your back?"

He nodded, and lifted me onto his back. "Of course."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, clinging tightly. If he'd been human, I probably would have strangled him.

Somehow I didn't worry about anything that night. Between my family keeping me too occupied to think much and Edward being back in my life, there was no room for fretting. By the time I got to bed, I was extremely tired. Nothing could have kept me awake.

The next day, however, I found I was more tense than I'd expected. By the time lunch arrived, my nerves had gotten the better of me and I was too frightened to eat anything. I didn't need a recap of my lunch only minutes after having swallowed it. While in the lunch line, both Mike and Jessica asked if I was okay. I lied. It's not like they really cared anyway—people just asked those things because they thought they should. After much debate, I wound up just getting a bottle of lemonade. Liquid seemed the safest bet for my churning stomach.

I was handing the cashier money when Jessica interrupted.

"Why is Edward sitting alone today, Bella?" She was far too interested for my taste. "Do you think he needs company?"

I held back a giggle, wishing I could have just given in-it was the first time I'd felt like laughing all day. Did she really think he wanted _her_ company? If it hadn't been for the hopeful gleam in her eye, I would have thought she was joking.

Looking up and around the corner to where Jessica had been staring, I was shocked to see that Edward was sitting at a different table just like she'd said-not that I thought she lied, just gossiped. "I don't think so, Jess." I focused on her and tried to sound soothing. "You know he's weird, kind of a loner."

When I looked back to Edward, he was fighting a smile.

"Um, yeah, I guess so." I could almost hear the disappointment in her voice, but I didn't turn to her.

Edward mouthed my name, then motioned for me to come with his finger, while a huge grin had taken over his features. He was fully enjoying the effect he had on Jessica. She had nearly dissolved into a giggling, quivering mess. I looked at her, then back to Edward and rolled my eyes.

He smiled and shook slightly with laughter.

"Um, Jess, I think Edward wants to speak to me." I said gently. "I guess I'll meet you in a few minutes, all right?"

"Uh… s-sure."

"Great. Talk to you later." I left her standing there, her mouth gaping wide. I hoped she didn't catch flies.

I walked over to the half of the table that was empty, except for Edward. Seniors sat on the other half, eying us curiously. I stopped behind the chair opposite him, wondering what to do next.

"I'm weird?" he asked after a moment, humor evident in his tone.

"To a typical teenage girl?" I shrugged. "Most of the time."

"And you?" He raised his eyebrows in a sort of mock challenge.

"I'm not a typical teenage girl. So... always."

I was amazed at how carefree he seemed.

"I don't want to be rude, but is there a reason you called me over here?" I looked across the room to the table where Jessica and I usually sat. Everyone was staring at us, including Jessica who was awkwardly taking a seat. I sighed and turned back to Edward. "I mean, I'm going to get the third degree from them as is."

"I'd hoped you'd eat with me," he said quietly, almost subdued.

"Well, I don't know about eating _with_ you." I smiled. "That might prove hazardous."

He laughed. "You know what I mean."

"I do." I pulled out the chair and sat in it, waiting for him to speak. He didn't. "Well, this is different."

"Might as well enjoy the ride."

"And... you've lost me. You always do that."

He laughed. "Don't worry. Why aren't you eating?" He pointed to my lemonade bottle.

"Butterflies."

He quirked an eyebrow in question.

"In my stomach," I clarified. "They feel like they're trying to batter their way out."

"Are you nervous about tonight?"

"You think?" I Instantly regretted the heavy sarcasm. "Sorry. I'm just a little off right now."

"It _will_ be fine, Bella." He leaned in closer, his eyes conveying his sincerity. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"I'm worried about _everyone_." I opened the bottle and took a sip, placing the cap on the table. "And the worst part is, I don't even understand why I'm so worried. I mean, you're virtually indestructible." I whispered my last sentence.

"But you're not," he said matter-of-factly.

"Like I said, it's not me I'm worried about."

"Why does that not surprise me? Bella, what do I have to do to make you see that this will be fine?" He laughed at my shoulder shrug. "How about this? My plans for after the meeting have _not_ changed. Emmett and I are still going to the Goat Rocks wilderness."

"Camping trip?" I asked.

He nodded. "Would I plan to leave if I thought there was going to be any issue?"

"Emmett can be very convincing." I looked over to the table where my siblings of sorts sat. Emmett was looking at me, a huge grin plastered on his face. I smiled in response.

"He can, but you're safety is more important than him finding a grizzly."

I laughed when Emmett's face fell into a ridiculous pout. "He'd never let you live it down." Edward rolled his eyes when I looked at him, and I felt the need to trace the fake wood grain on the table. "Staying home for the human," I breathed, knowing only Edward could hear me.

He reached across the table, grabbing the cap that I had left there and began spinning it like a top. "You know that's not true, Bella. Leaving is a necessary evil. I'm only going so far away because I made the plans before..." He winced, clearly unhappy with that train of thought. "If there was any question about your safety, I'd be there."

"Okay," I said, still unconvinced.

"So I was wondering."

"What?" My voice was monotone.

"Well, I was wondering about your plans for the near future."

"Near future?" Was he mentioning what Alice had spoken to me about? I wasn't ready to discuss that; I hadn't allowed myself to even think about it. It was such an alarming prospect.

"Yes, the Saturday after next. Would you like to go to the dance?"

I was pleased that he wasn't discussing any changes, but I couldn't have said this was a less frightening subject—maybe a little. "I hadn't really thought much about it. I mean, I can't dance. I can barely walk." Would humor dissuade him?

He laughed. "That's true, but the trick to dancing is all in the leading. And I make an excellent leader."

His argument was convincing, and I wanted to spend time with him away from home or classes. "You want to take me?" I hated the doubt in my voice. Why else would he have been asking?

"I do." His voice was fervent. "I'd also like to spend the rest of the day with you before."

I thought about it briefly. I had no other prospect, so why not. "Sure. I mean, I guess so. It's your toes after all."

"Good." A large smile broke across his face. "What about before?"

"What… about… before," I echoed. "I'll need time to get ready. Alice won't let me out of the house without some sort of makeover torture."

He laughed. "True. But before, maybe in the morning, would you like to go for a walk with me?"

"I guess so. Where to?"

"That's a surprise. I think it would be nice to get out of the house."

"Yes, it would."

We spent the rest of the lunch period discussing our weekend excursion. I never went back to my usual table, as I hadn't noticed how much time had passed until the bell rang.

"Oh!" I said, jumping up from my seat. "We'd better get going. We're going to be late."

"I'm not going to class, today." He shrugged. "It's good to skip every once in a while."

"Why?" I asked, my eyes narrowed.

He leaned in closely, though the cafeteria was nearly empty and everyone who passed kept a wide berth around us. "They're blood typing."

Queasiness accompanied the butterflies as I thought about that. The idea of purposely cutting myself was not appetizing. "Maybe I should join you. I mean, if I show up and you don't, it might bring attention to the fact that you're not there."

He brought his index finger to his lips. "I think you're right. We'll go out to my car and listen to music."

"Okay."

We spent the next period in his Volvo, listening to some classical CD. Some songs were familiar, and Edward and I discussed them. At one point, I closed my eyes and could almost see a dark-haired woman, dancing around a small den while she dusted. I watched her, pleased that she found such joy in simple things. When she turned around, I was surprised to see that had the same face as Charlie's ex wife.

I immediately opened my eyes, upset that I'd allowed my imagination to run wild. Why was I envisioning _her_? At that moment, Edward laughed beside me.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Apparently Lee has… issues with blood. Newton's dragging him off to the nurse now."

I looked out the windshield and saw Lee Stevens leaning heavily on Mike's shoulders. Mike was almost collapsing from the boy's weight. "I should go help them."

Edward grabbed my arm as I reached for the door handle. "They'll be fine. They're almost there now. Besides it's starting to rain."

Clearly he knew my distaste for all things wet. "Is he okay?"

"He's fine. Just nauseous is all."

We spoke a little more as I watched the two figures disappear. Finally after a few more minutes, I looked to the clock.

"I have to go to Gym now," I whined.

"I could take you home," Edward offered. "Say you were sick."

"No, it's all right. I can suffer through it. Have fun in Spanish." I pulled the handle to open the door."

"I'll be bored senseless. That woman has nothing to say that I haven't heard already."

I stepped out laughing. "Always so modest."

The drive back from school was mostly quiet since Alice had decided to go in the Jeep. I wasn't complaining. Though I loved my friend, her constant jabbering was often overwhelming. When we arrived home, Edward went directly to the piano.

I wasn't sure he wanted to be bothered, so I stood awkwardly by the couch, wondering if I should just go upstairs.

"Join me?" he asked from across the room.

I nodded and walked over, sitting beside him on the bench. He glanced down to his left hand squeezing his fist slightly, nodding, then placing something in his pocket before beginning to play.

The melody streaming from the keys was both beautiful and despondent. I could have sworn I'd heard it before but déjà vu was a common occurrence for me. After a few moments, Alice flitted over, singing along to the apparently wordless tune. I guessed she knew it too.

Her angelic voice was haunting, magnifying the poignancy of the piece. My heart ached, but I didn't understand why. It was a melody full of longing, of need and loss. Even when it was flying high in the middle, I knew that the ending was bitter. When he hit the last chords, I wasn't shocked by the melancholy feeling left behind.

As soon as the last notes finished ringing through the air, Alice patted Edward on the back, kissing him on the cheek and darting off back to the couch.

Suddenly Esme was there. "That was beautiful, Edward. What's it called?"

"It doesn't have a name yet." His shoulders slumped and she rested her tiny hand on one. I wished I knew how to comfort him in his obvious distress.

Esme rubbed his shoulder. "Well, it was breathtaking."

He paused. "Thanks, Mom. I hope so."

He looked over to me and smiled. Then suddenly, his brows furrowed together and his expression turned dark.

"What?" I asked, the panic in my voice making it barely audible. "What's going on now?"

"When?" He completely ignored my questions.

"When, what?"

"Monday," Alice said.

"Monday?" I asked lost. Had the meeting been rescheduled?

"Yes, we're going to have… visitors on Monday. More of our kind."

I sighed. Was that it?

"But they don't follow our diet."

Ah. Now I understood. "What will we do?"

"They're Jasper's friends," Alice cut in. "They wouldn't. It's not their first visit. They never hunt here. You know that."

"Still, I don't think Bella should be here." He frowned. "Peter's not known for his restraint."

I agreed.

"I'll come home early," Edward said. A crash sounded from above—clearly that statement annoyed Emmett. Edward rolled his eyes. "He'll get over it."

"No, I'll go away by myself."

"That is out of the question."

"It's going to be sunny Monday and Tuesday, anyway," Alice said. "So why don't the two of you just go away for a few days."

"I'll be back Saturday night." Edward grabbed my forearm. "We'll go to Port Angeles. We'll spend a few days there and come back when they've left. What do you think?"

"I don't need to be babysat." I pulled my arm away.

"No, but you shouldn't be around when—"

"I can go on my own."

"I would rather one of us be there."

"Just let him go with you, Bella," Alice interjected. "He'll never relax if you don't."

"Fine," I said. "But don't be angry with me that you didn't get to see your friends."

"They're more Jasper's friends than mine. I won't be angry." He looked up to the ceiling. "I suppose I am."

"What?"

"Emmett thinks I'm 'losing it.'"

I laughed. "You can't lose what you never had."

The plans for the weekend took shape quickly. If all went well with the meeting tonight, I would go with Mike and the others to the beach Saturday morning. Alice would pack for me while I was gone, and by the time I returned, Edward would be home and ready to leave. It seemed straightforward enough and discussion quickly turned to other things.

After a few hours, Edward stood abruptly. "It's time."

* * *

Dun. Dun. Dun.

First... my apologies for the delay. My child and I have been trading sicknesses over the last weeks. It's been loads of fun and terribly time consuming. I am so sorry.

Anyone still with me? I know you're out there.

*chirp, chirp*

Well, thanks for reading! If you're wondering about the timeline so far, we're at the exact timeline of Twilight for very similar events, all but the meeting with the wolves of course. If you have any questions about something that's confusing, please let me know. I'm happy to answer, as long as it doesn't give too much of what's coming away.

The exquisite SwedenSarah has written a review for LC which can be found here: twinetwork(dot)blogspot(dot)com/2011/03/what-are-we-reading-now-lost-cause-by(dot)html. I think she's found a secret admirer because of the lovely things she said. So I want to send a HUGE thank you! :D


	23. Close

Thank you for reviewing LC! I 3 and appreciate them all. Thanks to all the people who have added LC to their favorites or their alerts. And if you've added me as a favorite author, I am amazed. Thank you so much.

Thanks so much, Strider, Shasta and Kherisma. You rock for beta'ing this.

This is going without prereaders since I took so long to get it out.

There will be more in an AN down below.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

Recap on Twilighted thread -http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=33&t=7526&p=1232472#p1232472

And, in honor of Summer:

* * *

Chapter 23 - Close

The trip to the meeting was quick. Since La Push was out of the question—the Cullens weren't allowed on their land due to some arrangement—we went to neutral territory, Forks. I didn't quite understand the relationship between these two groups. Alice had tried to play it off that the Quileutes were more superstitious than most people, and in this case, more aware, but there was something off, something I couldn't quite place, and it niggled the back of my mind. At first, I wondered why no one was telling me the full story, but then realized that _I _was overreacting. Living with the supernatural at every turn had started to make me paranoid.

We pulled up to the side of a tree-lined road, which could have been anywhere in the vicinity-everything here looked the same. After parking off to the side, we wandered a short distance into the woods, really just using the trees as a buffer to the nonexistent passersby. We stopped abruptly—I'd been too busy avoiding roots and wet leaves to notice much around me. Edward and Carlisle stood on either side of me and slightly ahead, just out of my reach. They obscured my view from what was in front, but their obviously defensive positions made me uneasy.

When I moved to the side for a better look, I was amazed to see three older men staring at us. I'd expected something dangerous, something frightening, maybe scores of men with spears or poisoned darts, not three salt-and-pepper-haired guys on the verge of retirement. The youngest of them had to be in his late forties or early fifties... and he was in a wheelchair. What could _they_do? It was hard to believe that these guys frightened the Cullens. I stifled a burst of laughter, before my eyes grew wide and my mouth fell open in terror.

At that moment, two of the older men parted to reveal this enormous being, an animal of some sort. Both of my protectors tensed beside me, and Edward cast a quick glance in my direction when I gasped.

I couldn't exactly tell what this... _thing_was beyond a shadowy, fur-covered creature. It could have been a dog, if dogs grew to the size of horses. The thing walked on all fours and paced behind the men, clearly wishing it could attack. I wasn't sure whether it wanted Edward, Carlisle or me—maybe even all three of us. The fur covering this dog-horse was dark, almost black, giving him a demonic appearance. Of course, that could have been because the dim light filtering through the dense foliage above cast the forest in the shadows of day's end.

As he moved, I marveled at this animal's regality, even through my fear. He held himself erect and moved with a grace in this rocky terrain that only animals and the Cullens could posses.

_Maybe this _thing_ is supernatural, too. What else is that big?_

I quickly pushed that thought away. There was enough I couldn't contend with in this strange world—why add more to the mix?

"_Doctor _Cullen," the man in the wheelchair sneered as way of a greeting, pulling my attention away from the shaggy animal. His voice was deep and resonant. It reminded me of movies where a Native American chief regales his tribe with ancient stories, holding everyone captive with the timbre of his voice.

Still, I didn't like the vitriol as he spat Carlisle's title, as if it was something to look down upon, not honor. I narrowed my eyes at the man and moved slightly closer, though bringing attention to myself may not have been the best decision.

Carlisle held his hand out to me, warning me not to move farther forward. I immediately complied. It wasn't like I could actually do anything that he couldn't, anyway.

"Chief Black," Carlisle greeted cordially, bowing his head in recognition. Ever the gentleman, there was no way he'd lower himself to the other man's level.

"I see you've brought the girl," Chief Black stated. "She appears well."

It ruffled me how he spoke like I was a nonentity. I tried my best not to let that show, unclenching my fists, closing my eyes and taking a calming breath. It was better to let Carlisle and Edward deal with the situation.

"She is in perfect health," Carlisle confirmed.

"Let's begin," the man to Chief Black's right ordered.

"Yes," the last man agreed. "Billy, pleasantries aren't necessary."

The man in the middle nodded. I guessed he was Chief Billy Black.

"This girl has been put in harm's way." Billy pounded the side of his fist into his open palm. Even with his disability, this man had an aura of power. He was in charge and everyone knew it. "She may not have been hurt yet, but you know what must happen."

Carlisle shook his head. "Bella is happy with us. We have attended to all of her needs, putting her safety above everything else."

A memory of the first vision I'd seen—the one with Edward pouncing on me—briefly flashed through my mind. I tried to compose myself before anyone could read it on my face and hoped I succeeded.

"Regardless, Cullen, something must be done in _her_ interest."

Edward tensed. In response, Carlisle reached out and grabbed his arm. The attempt to calm didn't seem to help as he never relaxed his rigid pose. I wanted to reach out and help, but I knew that would not be best in front of the three strangers.

"We are working in her interest, keeping up her education while she searches for a more… permanent home. She wants for nothing."

"Nothing but _human_ contact," the man on the left sneered.

Billy held up his hand palm out, stopping the other before he could get going. "She must be removed from your care immediately," he said, leaving no room for argument. "She _cannot_ stay there a minute longer, especially without supervision."

_Supervision? Supervision? _I'd had enough of being spoken about like I was a misbehaving child and enough of the prejudice towards my family.

"No," I said, walking forward. I tried to squeeze myself between Carlisle and Edward, but it was like trying to move two brick walls. Who did this guy think he was, my father? He had no say over what I did. He didn't even know me.

The chief offered me a withering smile. "The choice is not yours, child. You're far too young to understand the consequences." I was sure he meant his tone to be placating, but I found it condescending.

"Consequences?" I asked, forcing myself to stay calm. "My family is gone. The Cullens are the _only_ ones who have helped me. They've housed me, clothed me, fed me, without any problem or request for payback. I don't see the _consequences_ you're talking about."

"Things are not always as they seem," the man standing on the left said. "There's more than you know."

"I think I know most everything."

Carlisle moved slightly to the right, allowing me to come in, and bent his shoulders forward, a warning. Edward quickly budged, placing himself in front and to my left again, this time almost touching me. His stance mimicked Carlisle's, an ever so small crouch.

"And I know they're not going to hurt me." I shook my head. "I have _no_ fear of that. They're good people."

The man on the right let out a puff of air. "Clearly they've altered her sense of perception. She's addled."

"Don't slight her," Edward growled. "There is nothing wrong with her."

"Quil was not insulting Miss Dean," Billy said, once again using that falsely soothing voice. "He doesn't understand how she can be so calm, knowing what she does."

"I guess I'm just more open-minded," I grumbled.

The animal behind the three men growled, facing himself toward me, rapidly shutting me up.

Edward once again tensed, pushing back into me. If he got any closer, he'd knock me over or trample me.

"Your young one—" the man on the left gestured to Edward— "seems protective of the girl. A little too protective."

"Yes, Harry," said Billy, his head bobbing determinedly. "I agree. Is there something we need to be aware of?"

I wasn't quite sure what he was getting at with that question, but I had the feeling we were edging near a slippery slope.

"All of my family sees her as a member," Carlisle agreed. "We are _all_ protective of her."

"No," Harry interrupted. "He's more protective than most. Is he…"

"No," Edward said through clenched teeth. "She is my… _sister_."

His words stung, though I knew they were necessary for the charade. My face must have fallen, when the air left my lungs, drawing attention my way. Both Harry and Billy narrowed their eyes at my reaction.

"Nothing more," I stated, dropping my eyes and shrugging my shoulders, all the while knowing that I was doing a poor job of covering up.

"How can we be sure you don't wish to…" Billy paused, gathering his thoughts.

I hoped that Edward's soft rumble was not noticeable to the others, though I heard it loud and clear.

"Increase your numbers," Billy finished. "That would be against the treaty."

"There is no intent to break any part of the treaty," Carlisle said, placating. "We have never had that as an aim."

"Never," Edward agreed, shaking his head emphatically.

_Ouch_.

I still wasn't sure how I felt about Alice's revelation, but Edward's obvious disdain was cutting, nonetheless.

The three across from us grumbled as their pet growled and narrowed his eyes, his expression strangely human for such a wild beast.

"Let's move forward," Carlisle said. "We feel Bella is safest with us until a new living arrangement can be found. She's been through enough without uprooting her once again, and it's what her parents wanted."

"I do _not_ feel… comfortable allowing that." Billy shook his head.

"We have a compromise," Carlisle offered, straightening up. "Bella will stay with us." He held up his hand at the grumbles from the three men. "However, we will ensure that she stays in contact with you."

"Still, she will be at your mercy," Harry said, shaking his head vehemently. "Alone in your house. That's unacceptable."

_Like I hadn't already been there for months?_ I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. Could they really take me from my home? The only home that I remembered?

"I'd like to offer a concession," Carlisle began. "How would you feel if she makes regular trips to La Push? You'd be able to verify her safety and see that no harms comes to her then."

The three men grumbled amongst themselves.

"Of course, Bella will remain in touch with Chief Swan as well."

The man on the right looked to us, his eyes narrowing slightly before he focused again on their little group. If I were to guess at his thoughts by his look alone, I would've thought that he seemed a little surprised.

"Do I get a say?" I asked Edward.

Edward turned to me, taking time to come up with some excuse.

"Let the girl talk," Billy said.

"Well…" I cleared my throat, feeling nervous now that all attention was on me. "I'm happy where I am. I've already had my life uprooted… lost everything I had. I'd like to stay with them. At least I have some normalcy there." I shrugged, looking to the ground. "They really care for me. They take _care_ of me."

"Regardless—"

Harry's sure-to-be-tirade was cut off by the man on the right. He had a strange name that escaped me in the moment.

"We will discuss this _before_ any decisions are made," he said. Suddenly, I remembered his name—Quil, like an ancient pen.

Again the three huddled closely and began talking within their circle. During their discussion, Edward tensed a few times. Carlisle's only reaction was to try and calm Edward, while I spent my time moving my weight from foot to foot and looking anywhere but at the Quileute men. Finally, both Edward and Carlisle both let out large gusts of air.

"We have come to a decision," Billy said.

Harry crossed his arms and set his jaw, earning a warning glance from Billy.

"Bella will be allowed to stay with you. However, she will need to be seen regularly both on the reservation and at Charlie Swan's house." He paused, looking at both of his comrades before speaking again. "We aren't… happy with this decision, but we will abide by it. As you've said, the girl has been uprooted enough."

"You have made the best decision," Carlisle agreed. "Thank you for being so open-minded."

Edward murmured something but I couldn't quite make out words. "Then we are free to go?" he finished.

"We will discuss a schedule regarding visitation and be in contact."

After Billy's words, Edward wasted no time, instead grabbing my hand and turning around toward the car. Carlisle stayed behind a little longer.

When we were safely in the car, I felt free to speak. "That was interesting."

He chuckled, then spoke in a low voice. "They really didn't have much of a choice. Legally, they have no say. We have the papers, even if they are forged. You're still listed in all the necessary places as Carlisle and Esme's foster child."

"So why'd we go then?" I echoed his tone of voice. There must have been a reason he was being quiet.

"We have to let them think that it was their decision. There's no need to emasculate the locals… even if they never had a say."

"Why didn't you say that before?"

"You're not the best actor, Bella," he stated plainly. "That profession will never be good for you."

"Ha. Ha. Very funny. I do have one more question, though."

"Only one?" he asked wryly.

"For now."

"Go ahead." He gestured with his hand, much like a woman presenting some item on a game show.

"What was that? That thing behind them?"

"A wolf," he said plainly. "A very large wolf. They're the… mascot of the tribe in a way."

"That… _thing_ was terrifying."

He laughed. "There was nothing for you to fear. He wouldn't have harmed you while Carlisle and I were there. Besides, there's only one of them presently. Not much of a fight."

"One's enough, I think." I widened my eyes in mock fear, though I had been frightened of that enormous wolf.

"Everything is settled," Carlisle said opening the door. "We will hear from them within the week."

After our meeting with the elders of the tribe and their pet of sorts, we all went to the house and Edward left with Emmett. I wasn't happy that he was leaving, but it was a necessary evil. He couldn't starve himself.

The night after he left passed mostly in a haze. I didn't stay up late, instead choosing to lose myself in the oblivion of sleep.

On Friday, I sailed through my classes, barely paying attention, and sat at my usual lunch table, trying to block out the inane teenage chatter, mostly concerning the upcoming trip the next day. Since they thought I didn't know the area, I could pass off my distraction easily.

Saturday dawned sunny, for a change. It wasn't as bright as I'd hoped for, but it was still sun, and my mood lightened even without my closest friend around to enjoy it. I'd be seeing him soon and we'd have the next few days to ourselves—a prospect I looked forward to immensely. I wondered what we would do with that time.

The day at the beach was pleasant. And since it served double duty as both time out and a way to show the tribe that I was alive and kicking, I didn't mind being away from my family. Besides, they had to try to air out the house. My scent was probably everywhere to them.

I met the group outside the store owned by Mike's parents. It was some sort of outdoorsy place, the type of store I'd _never_find myself shopping at. When Alice dropped me off, there were still a few people missing.

After a few minutes, some more kids popped up. There were more people than Mike had anticipated, and since he'd insisted I ride shotgun, I made sure to squish Jessica between us. I pretended interest in the scenery on the drive over, so as to avoid the uncomfortable situation.

The beach was exactly the same as my first visit, but I was able to enjoy my time more than I had before—I hadn't been running from a fight with Edward. I even had the opportunity to quietly appreciate the tide pools and their tiny cross-sections of sea life. When I returned from my excursion to the little ponds, I was surprised to see some local kids sitting around our fire.

As they came into focus, I instantly recognized Jacob, though he stood with his back to me. As usual, his long black hair was pulled back into a ponytail.

"Jacob!" I exclaimed. "I was wondering where you were."

He jumped and turned around quickly, a look of surprise upon his face. "Bella!" His grin widened. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"You either," I said, quickly closing the distance between us. "So how've you been?"

"Good, good." He opened his arms wide, waiting for a hug. "You?"

"Not bad."

After a quick greeting, we followed the others back to the fire ring and sat on the surrounding logs.

"You know Jacob, Bella?" Lauren asked, her voice full of its normal derision.

"Uh… yeah. We met a few weeks ago."

"How sweet," she said, her lip curled and eyes narrowed. Clearly she was thinking of her next tactic. "Why didn't anyone think to invite Edward? I mean, you're _very_ close with him, aren't you, Bella?"

"Yeah," Mike joined in. "Why didn't Cullen come?"

"Oh… he's away." I shrugged. "Camping, you know? I'm going to meet them later."

"Cullen," a boy sitting on my left snarled under his breath.

I turned to face him and realized my first assessment was wrong. He was older than the rest, probably old enough to be considered a man.

"Yeah. I live with them." My brows furrowed at his reaction

"I know," he said, trying to sound offhanded. "Well, _they_ don't come here."

An awkward silence followed, which Jacob broke by asking me to go for a walk. I was happy to get out of there, so I gratefully obliged.

When we were away from the group, Jacob began apologizing. "Don't worry about Sam. He's a weird guy."

"He really hates my brother, huh?" I opened my eyes wide and batted them a few times, playing innocent, all the while knowing I was doing a terrible job. Edward was right; I was a terrible actor.

"It's not just him." Jacob sighed. "The whole tribe has some strange problem with all of them."

"All of them?" I asked, smiling shyly.

"Yeah."

"Huh." I tried to sound as noncommittal as possible.

For some reason, Jacob felt the compulsion to reveal his tribe's secrets, even though we barely knew each other. Maybe it had been my eye batting or close to coy smiles. He explained their traditions about men transforming into wolves—that was why the wolf was their mascot, as Edward had called it—and about "the cold ones." It seemed the two were mortal enemies. I wasn't sure how to react, but it did help me to understand dynamics I hadn't been aware of.

Throughout Jacob's revelations, I decided that pretending to be oblivious was the best route. He didn't seem to pick up on my subterfuge. Before I could be found out, I quickly changed the subject.

"Hey, did you ever find someone to buy the truck?"

"No." He shook his head. "No one wants it. And I can't start a new project 'til that happens." He sounded so dejected.

"I think I might be able to help you there," I said proudly. "I can have Carlisle talk to your dad? I still have your number at home."

"That'd be great!" Jacob exclaimed.

Suddenly, Mike appeared before us. "Looks like it's about to rain," he said, pointing to the sky. "We'd better head out."

I looked up. The ominous grey clouds above left no room for question. A huge storm was on its way.

"Guess so," I breathed. "So, Jake, let Billy know that Carlisle will probably be calling him."

"Cool!"

We walked back to the cars and left quickly. This time I was able to change my seat so I didn't have to sit so closely to Mike. I could tell my presence had put a damper on Jess' day.

When we pulled up to the parking lot, Alice was already there.

"I didn't hear you call her," Mike grumbled.

"Uh, no, I texted." I hoped he wouldn't see through my lie. I opened the door as fast as possible. "See you. Thanks for a fun day." I closed the door and ran over to the Mercedes, trying to avoid the pelting raindrops.

The rest of my afternoon went quickly, though it shouldn't have. Alice kept me busy, as usual and before I knew it, Edward was back and we were on our way to Port Angeles. We were nearing the city when my stomach betrayed my hunger.

"It's a good thing I made reservations," he joked.

"Really?" I failed at hiding how excited I was over the prospect of food. I tried to cover it up. "I hope it isn't anywhere fancy. I'm not really dressed for that."

He laughed. "No. Nowhere fancy. You'll enjoy it, I promise."

"I could just order take out." It would be awkward going to eat without him. But I would have thought that sitting there while I ate would be uncomfortable for him. Besides, knowing him, he'd probably picked an extremely expensive place, when I was just as happy to go to a diner. "I don't have to go out."

"Just do this for me, please."

His eyes bored into me as he drove. I should have worried that he wasn't facing the road but I was unable to think logically at that moment. "Okay."

"You didn't have to come with me, you know," I said while staring at my dinner. We were in a restaurant about a block away from the water, and I felt like a pig for being the only one to eat, though there were two of us. "I mean, I could've come alone... or ordered something in, like I said." I looked to him.

Edward just smiled at me.

"I mean, the hotel room's nice enough," I finished lamely with a shrug of my left shoulder.

"I _wanted_to take you somewhere nice," he answered simply. "Besides, you're enjoying the food?"

I nodded. "It's very good. But it would have been just as good on the couch in the suite."

"My bed?" he asked, fake outrage playing across his features. "You wanted to eat dinner on my _bed_?"

"It's not like you're going to sleep there." I laughed. "You know, you didn't have to go all out with the multiple rooms and everything."

"It helps to keep up the charade. What would the neighbors think if we shared a room?"

"Neighbors?" I asked. "What neighbors?"

He just laughed.

"Well, it _is_ nice to have privacy," I said.

He looked down to the table, his gaze slightly ashamed, though of what I wasn't sure.

"I think I'm done," I said, sitting up taller and away from the table.

He stood up and reached out to me. "Ready to go back to the hotel?"

"I guess," I said, rolling my eyes. I grabbed his hand and pulled myself up from the table.

_I think I should run back to the car and bring it back here. The rain is set to start any minute now._

I pulled my hand away. "Been speaking to Alice?"

He shook his head. "I can just tell."

"Ah, one of _those_ things."

He nodded.

"But I want to walk." I looked through the glass window to the darkened sky. "I want some air. It's not that far."

"It's almost two miles, Bella." His tone bristled.

"I can do it. A little rain won't hurt me. It's not like I'm going to melt."

"You could get sick."

"I have a coat." I held up my rain jacket, letting out a breath and then shook my head to show my disdain. "Besides, I'm not quite that delicate."

"Aren't you?" he asked quietly.

"Maybe compared to you." I narrowed my eyes. "But when measured up against most, no, I'm not. I want to walk."

Edward held the door open for me. "Fine, but if you get soaked—"

"I'll be wet, but I'll be fine."

We began the walk toward the hotel. I was glad for the exercise, hoping that it would help me release the extra energy flowing through me. Spending the night alone with Edward, without the intrusive senses of other vampires, had me on edge. There were so many things I wanted to happen, so many things I was sure wouldn't.

We were about half a mile from the hotel when I stopped. "So what's on the schedule for tonight?"

"I hadn't really thought much about that." Though his words were delivered perfectly, they had the tone of a well-trained actor. Did he have plans?

I walked closer and tilted my head to the side. "You're lying. What are we doing?"

He laughed. "Really, I didn't have any concrete plans."

"What does that mean?" I asked, stepping as close as possible. "Does someone else have plans? Is someone else coming to visit?"

"No, not at all. It's just the two of us."

He leaned down, bringing his face close to mine. Suddenly, his thumb was pressed against my lower lip. "You're going to chew a hole in it, if you keep that up."

I opened my jaw to liberate my captive lip. "Oh." My words were nearly indiscernible, a breath rather than actual sound.

He looked over my face, searching for something. Clearly he found it, because a slight grin lifted the corners of his mouth and his eyes softened. He moved his hand to the back of my head and brought himself closer. His pace was agonizing, far too slow. His nearness overwrought every sense. Just a few centimeters more and…

At that moment, the sky decided to open up.

Edward sighed, shook his head and then released me from his grip, taking care that I was steady on my feet.

"We should get going."

I couldn't help the disappointment that coursed through me, and I lowered my head to hide my feelings. I nodded, never taking my eyes from the ground. "Yes." After a deep breath, I was able to compose myself. I looked to find him now five feet from me. "Let's get going."

"What's the rush?" he joked. "It's not like you're going to melt."

"Throwing my words back at me? How gentlemanly."

He laughed. "Let's get you out of this rain."

"I'm fine. But let's go anyway." I tried to pretend like the rain didn't bother me. However, pulling up my hood and quickening my pace didn't help support my argument.

No matter how I tried to keep myself dry, I still walked into our hotel room with drenched clothes and hair. Somehow, the rain had even permeated my jacket.

"I'm going to go get dried off," I said to Edward as I walked toward my room. "I'll be right out."

As rapidly as possible, I changed into something dry and warm. Then I towel-dried my hair. It would take forever if I attempted to use a hair dryer, and I didn't want to waste the limited time I had alone with Edward.

When I walked back into the living room area, Edward was nowhere to be found. I grabbed the book I had previously left on the coffee table and sat in the overstuffed chair.

Through the distraction of the storyline, I heard the door close. When I glanced toward the door, I saw Edward standing there his hair dripping.

"Did you go out again?"

He nodded. "Yes, I needed to grab something from the car. And since there were so many people around, I needed to go _slowly_." He sounded agonized on the last word.

I laughed. "It's okay. Drowned rat looks good on you."

Within a split second, he was next to me. "I thought it looked much better on you."

I turned away, so he wouldn't see the blush covering my cheeks.

He wouldn't let me, though. He softly placed a cold finger against my cheek and turned me to face him. I hadn't expected him to be so close. He was crouched down, his face on the same level as mine.

"Now, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted by the rain?"

"Um…" All words left my mind as Edward leaned closer…

* * *

A|N –… but no cigar. *ducks and hides*

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for reading.

As always, I'm sorry for not responding to all reviews.

I'm going to try and post at least one more chapter before the bambino arrives in August. She's been kicking my butt recently, but I'm going to fight back. Once she arrives, I know it'll be MUCH worse. Lol

Still looking for names... We'll get there eventually.


	24. Closer

A|N (this is enormous):

Yeah, I suck (not a term I usually use and it's not used lightly here). I truly and totally suck. I apologize but I know it means nothing. All I can say is that real life has been beyond busy. I can barely find time to shower, let alone write. I've also agonized over this chapter. What with writer's block and my fear of posting something remotely romantic, I've gotten myself all worked up. Again, I'm so sorry. I hope people are still reading.

I have been slowly responding to reviews. Please know I read each one, and I appreciate them more than I can tell. Sometimes, when I get overwhelmed with writing, I reread them for some inspiration. Thank you all so much.

Thanks so much, Strider and JFKA06. You rock for beta'ing this.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

**SUMMARY** (I was told that not everyone could get to it on the forum so here it is here):

Bella woke up lost, alone and afraid. She wandered but found no one until Alice, Esme and Carlisle found her. They took her into their home. Edward reacted as expected and ran to Alaska. Bella went to stay in the cottage, where she found some information on an Isabella Swan, but strangely that information disappeared. Edward returned home and the Cullens convinced Bella to return home.

Bella was found to have a strange talent, so the Denali coven came to meet her and find out more about her gift. It seems our little Bella is a shield, but that she can also echo other's gifts. So, she can see the visions Alice sees and hear Edward's thoughts. But it's a weaker version of their abilities, and she needs skin contact.

Bella has learned about vampire mating, but she doesn't believe that Edward feels that way about her. So, she has decided to sit back and watch what happens with him. She's spent a lot of time with him, learning to drive, learning to play piano and learning a tiny bit about her past.

Then she saw Tyler get into an accident and rushed to help, falling and blacking out.

Bella had fallen and hit her head, landing herself in the hospital. When she was about to leave, the chief of police showed up. There was some sort of connection to him, though she isn't sure why. Then there was a blowup between Edward and Bella. They both said some things that probably shouldn't have been said. Bella ended up running from the house.

Bella ran off in a tiff, eventually winding up in La Push, where she met Jake. After a few days of not speaking to Edward, she decided to do something and came up with an excuse to see Charlie.

So she met and spent time with Charlie, noticing a picture of a woman whom she closely resembled while at his house.

Weeks passed and Edward paid her no attention. Finally, at the end of last chapter, Mike asked her to the dance. Edward couldn't handle that, so he finally spoke up again. Their first communication after the "hiatus" was strained. Later in the day, Edward apologizes… just as he's about to tell her something REALLY important, there's a bang at the door…

Alice takes Bella away to the cottage where she drops a bombshell.

Edward comes to find them and tells Bella about the wolves.

Dum! Dum! Dum!

So, there's this meeting. The wolves tell them that they're watching (just like Big Brother) so everyone needs to be careful.

Peter and Charlotte come for a lovely stay, so B has to be out of the house, just in case. Edward takes her to PA, where they share a lovely meal and a jaunt in the rain.

**Last time:**

_He wouldn't let me, though. He softly placed a cold finger against my cheek and turned me to face him. I hadn't expected him to be so close. He was crouched down, his face on the same level as mine._

_"Now, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted by the rain?"_

_"Um…" All words left my mind as Edward leaned closer…_

* * *

Chapter 24 - Closer

"Don't move."

His warning confused me. We'd been this close before. However, I stayed as still as possible, although his mere proximity caused my heart to take off. Locked in his eyes, I couldn't look away as he moved closer and closer. When his face began to blur, I actually allowed myself to believe that he was going to kiss me. After so long, this was actually going to happen.

Then, unbelievably, regrettably, almost painfully, he pulled back, the growing inches a great divide that I was afraid would never be crossed. I was crushed. Why did I let myself get my hopes up?

_After he'd finished his retreat, he stared deeply into my eyes, then scanned my face a few times. His eyes became soft as they met mine again. He pressed his lips into a hard line momentarily before he took a deep breath. It looked almost like he would cry if that were possible. His actions left me adrift. _

_Why would he be sad, unless he felt compelled to kiss me, like he had to do it for some reason when he didn't want to? Perhaps he wanted to but thought I didn't. But I knew I'd been obvious about __my__ feelings, so that couldn't be true._

Was he as lost as I was? Was it possible we had that in common?

_I was about to ask what he was thinking when at that moment, he pulled my face closer to his. I had never been this close to him, and I was beginning to feel woozy. It was not unpleasant, not in the slightest, but I was still off balance. He rested his cheek against mine and his lips flitted against my ear as his breath chilled me. He said something but I couldn't tell what. He breathed deeply through his nose and I closed my eyes as he slowly pulled his face back, trailing his lips along my cheek._

_He left a burning path where his mouth had just been and an electric current pulsed out from the route, filling me with the warmth I had been yearning for. His snail's pace was torturous, almost agonizing and again perplexing. I had no idea what he was doing but I didn't fight or question him. All I knew was that I liked it and wanted more. I could gladly drown in the feeling he was leaving behind as he moved across my skin._

_Reflexively, I leaned my cheek into him, causing him to stop moving suddenly. An uncontrollable moan left my lips at his lack of movement. I wanted more of whatever he was willing to give. After a few seconds, he drew a deep shuddery breath and began his trail again._

_His lips reached the edge of mine and he hesitated. He retracted slightly. I could no longer feel the chill of his skin against mine and I sighed, missing the sensation. _

_Again? I can't take much more of this… this torture. I'll just scream._

_ "Bella, open your eyes," he said, his voice sounding more sultry than usual, a siren's call. At that moment, I would refuse him nothing._

_My eyes fluttered open and I was shocked to see him staring at me intensely._

_"Do you want this?" he whispered, his voice barely above a breath, putting a gravity on the situation that seemed to outweigh the circumstances at hand. _

_Yes, I want you to kiss me. I want you, all of you. All you're willing to give. I'll give everything… anything._

_Outside of the lust-filled thoughts clouding my brain, I noticed that there was something in his eyes telling me that his question was beyond the tiny bit of intimacy he was giving me in that moment. There was something much deeper than I was unable to grasp, a hidden question that I didn't understand. _

_I scrutinized his face briefly, trying to comprehend the reservation I sensed, but I couldn't come up with a definitive answer. He seemed not only worried about my rejection – though I couldn't understand how he would feel that way – but also there was something else that I couldn't place. His eyes were expectant and… sad in a way. _

_I realized that there was no possible way I was going to fully understand the weight or meaning he was placing in his outwardly simple query, so I answered the spoken question._

_"Yes," I mouthed, unable to find enough air to speak, though I was practically panting, and nodded._

_He smiled slightly; his eyes looking blissful and yet at the same time they were still reserved, maybe penitent? For what, I had no idea. He nodded, then tilted his head and closed his eyes, looking more attractive than he ever had before._

I responded in turn. With my eyes closed, my breathing shallow and loud, I tried to calm myself, to stay still and make this as easy as possible.

Then suddenly, his cold lips pressed against mine.

I didn't care that his hair dripped water onto my skin and his clothes were sopping. I didn't care that I was getting soaked after having just dried off. I didn't care that whatever I'd been reading was probably getting destroyed.

The outside world ceased to exist.

Had there ever been one to begin with?

There was only him and me and... _us_.

After all this time, his mouth was on mine. After everything we'd been through, all the confusion and distress, he wanted me as much as I wanted him. In this moment, it was all I knew with a certainty. All that I had, everything I was, was wrapped in this moment.

After having been lost for as long as I could remember, both literally and figuratively, he became my magnetic north. As soon as his lips met mine, I knew that I'd never feel any different. I'd never want anything more. My being would forever pull in his direction.

That thought alone should have frightened me, but it didn't. Instead it spurred me on and I wrapped my arms around his shoulder, bringing my fingers up to weave through his rain soaked hair. I tried to pull him closer, but only succeeded in moving myself, molding my soft lips to the shape of his.

Abruptly he pulled away, leaving me in a haze.

His eyes were wilder than I'd seen in a long time, his control pushed farther than usual.

"Are you—"

"I'm fine," he said, though his jaw was clenched. "Give me a moment."

I nodded, keeping my gaze upon his.

After a minute or so, he began breathing again, his shoulders relaxing minutely with each exhalation. Finally a smile graced his lovely face. It struck me as funny.

"Proud of yourself?" I asked, holding back a giggle.

_When did I become such a teenage girl?_

"You have no idea," he answered, though I had to strain to hear him. He moved away slightly, allowing my vision to focus on his face properly.

I rolled my eyes and looked away, unsure how to proceed. What _was_ our next step?

"So… um, what now?" I asked, my voice wavering. "I mean…"

He smiled and exhaled in a short burst of humor. "Bella, that's up to you. Whatever you want—"

"Everything," I answered, a little too quickly, a little too desperately. "I want everything."

His responding smile was brilliant. Had it always been so easy to please him?

"So… everything?" He said quietly.

"Not asking for much, is it?" I shrugged and rolled my eyes to show that I was joking, covering the nearly overwhelming emotions with sarcasm. "Just… the _world_."

"The world I can do."

I laughed, visualizing Edward holding the end of a lasso that was wrapped around a globe. The image was reminiscent of the picture of George Bailey lassoing the moon from _It's A Wonderful Life_. Edward was just as good as that character and just like with him, I couldn't stand to picture a world where he didn't exist.

I pushed away that thought. It would never be true, so why worry? There were much more pressing topics.

"Before conquering the world, you should get dried off," I said, wrinkling my nose and pushing him away, when all I really wanted to do was pull him closer. "I doubt the hotel would be pleased if we ruined this nice chair here."

"I'll buy them another." His face drew close again.

"The same one?" I replied, breathily, not really caring about the conversation. "Wouldn't want them to know that we'd destroyed it."

"Of course. Alice can find anything we might need." He came closer still, mere millimeters from me. My breath hitched.

"Alice?" I asked.

"Mmmm."

"Why are we talking about Alice?"

"I have no idea." His eyes shut and he closed the distance one more time.

This kiss was no less passionate, but it was calmer. It was more about exploring, learning the other, than the frantic movements from before. I moved my hands to his upper arm and shoulder, rather than molesting the back of his head.

As before, my lips shaped to his, a perfect mirror. Warmth spread through me as his kiss lingered.

He pulled back his mouth, leaving our foreheads touching. "You have no idea how long I've waited."

I smiled. "Then you can wait a little longer. Go get changed."

He placed a sweet kiss on my nose and an instant later was across the room pulling some clothes out of his bag. "I'll be right back."

"Don't take too long," I answered, trying to sound sultry. Then I paused for effect. "I need to dry off too."

Sunday dawned, though it was difficult to tell. The sky was dark, the air thick with the constant drizzle. Doing something outside was not an option. Instead I opted to see a movie on the hotel's pay per view system. My choice was nothing memorable, not that I had paid attention anyway. How could I when I was cuddled up to the one person who had held my complete attention for as long as I could remember?

After the movie ended, Edward surprised me by standing up and moving the coffee table to the edge of the room. Next, he pushed the chair into the corner. After, the sofa followed… while I was seated on it.

"What are you doing?"

"Clearing a spot." He spoke as if his words were obvious.

"Clearing a spot? What for?" _Was it time for a rousing game of charades?_

"Well… we are going to a dance next week…" he began.

_Oh no. _"Don't remind me."

"And you seemed nervous about the dancing part."

I closed my eyes and put my head down. I was nervous, but that was not because I was anxious about making a fool of myself in front of the kids at school. I was worried about looking stupid in front of him. He was so perfect when it came to things like that. "I guess."

"So I figured we could have a lesson while we were away."

"I'm not sure one lesson will help anything," I hedged. "I mean, I don't remember anything about dancing, so why bother?"

"Why bother?" His attempt at indignation fell flat. "Why bother?"

I nodded.

"I don't want you to feel awkward."

I laughed harshly. "It's a little late for that. Almost all my life is one huge ball of awkward."

"Well, let's change it so this isn't." His eyes were alight, much like a child when faced with his greatest desire. He held out his hand to me.

I grasped it, allowing his zeal to fill me. It couldn't be that bad.

He led me to the now vacant center of the room. "One moment. We need music." Suddenly, he was at corner of the room, pulling something out of his bag.

"What's that?"

Edward held up a plastic square, a jewel case. "Music."

From what I could see, the generic case could've been purchased from any computer supply store. "The CD is homemade?"

He looked down. "Yes, Alice gave it to me before we left. She said it might come in handy."

I laughed. "Who needs the Boy Scouts when you have Alice? She's always prepared."

Edward nodded and flashed across the room to a black stereo I hadn't noticed before. I really didn't know if I'd ever get used to how quickly he could move. He put the CD in the stereo and pressed a few buttons. When he turned around, I was surprised to see that his eyes were clearly a thousand miles away.

"Well, are we going to do this?" I asked, lifting the corners of my mouth.

He smiled and slowly walked over. "Of course."

"Where'd you go?" I asked once he stood a few inches away from me. I hoped he knew I didn't mean literally.

"Oh, nowhere. I was just thinking."

"Care to share with the rest of the class?"

He smiled. "It's not important. Ready?"

I nodded and he grabbed my right hand in his left. Then he placed my other arm on his right shoulder. "This is a typical hold."

"Okay."

He recited the steps to me, telling me it was a simple box step. Counting and moving—especially to a set rhythm—didn't seem so simple to me but I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

After about twenty minutes, I was still clearly having problems with my pacing and we had dissolved into a laughing mess.

"Bella, it looks like Prima Ballerina is out for possible careers."

His words sparked something in me, something similar said in a female voice. I drifted off into the place where memories were stored.

"_She'll never have a profession as ballerina, I know that," a woman said next to me. I looked up to see a woman who so closely resembled me, my mother. "But she's perfect to me." She sounded slightly angry, maybe defensive._

"_I don't care anymore, Mom," a child's voice rang out—my voice? I looked down to see I was wearing a leotard and tutu. Small hands twisted in the tulle of the tiny skirt. Yes, the girl who had spoken was clearly me. "I just want to leave." _

_I ran through the room to the door. Since I'd been there so many times before, I didn't need to look where I was going. I didn't want to see my reflection—the reflection of the world's worst dancer, a menace to anyone on the floor—in the mirrors that covered the walls of the studio. I ran out and into one of the storage closets, hoping to hide from the other girls and to block out the conversation my mother and teacher were having._

_Everything in this vision was so clear, so defined. It seemed almost surreal._

_I sat as tears rolled down my face, leaving sticky, wet trails down my cheeks and wetting the top of my dance costume._

"_Bella?" my mom called. "Bella? Where are you?"_

_I ignored her pleas and just stayed in my little bubble. I didn't need to see her pity as well, to know that I couldn't do anything right._

"_Bella, you'd better come here this very instant." She sounded really angry, but still I didn't answer. _

_Finally, the door opened and my mom stood there, her face a mask of worry. "There you are. Why are you in here?" She tried to sound happy, but I could tell she was faking it. She sat down next to me._

"_Um…" I started crying again and began to fiddle with my skirt. "I suck."_

"_You do not suck," she said, wrapping her arm around me and pulling me in for a hug._

"_I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to go for dance lessons. I- I hate it." I was lying, but it was better than the weekly embarrassment. All the other girls had gotten over their awkwardness. I just seemed to reach new levels._

"_Do you mean that?" she asked._

_I nodded._

Abruptly, the images disappeared, melting away before my very eyes. I wondered why that particular memory came back. Like the others, it had no meaning, no context. And why was this one so clear, when the others had blurry spots? It didn't make any sense.

"Are you okay?" Edward's voice broke me from my trance.

I looked up to see his face so close to mine. I was still wrapped in his arms, but it was more like he was holding me up. I shook my head slightly and pulled away.

"What happened?" Once he was sure I was okay to stand on my own two feet, he let go with all but one hand and led me to the couch.

"You seemed to—I don't know how to describe it. It's almost like you fell asleep, like you were dreaming." He narrowed his eyes. "You were talking, like you do in your sleep—"

"Wait!" I screamed. I worked to temper my voice. "I talk in my sleep. I didn't know that." I hoped I wasn't too loud or embarrassing with what I said. But I must have been because he mentioned it. "How do you know that?"

"That's not important." If he thought he could brush it off that easily, he had another think coming. "What did you see?"

I would let his revelation go for now. The memory was more important. It was yet another puzzle piece that might help me move forward. I explained what I remembered to Edward, making sure to tell him exactly how everything looked. I also took the time to explain how different it was to memories from before.

He asked me if there were any windows or anything to help me place where the memory took place. But there was nothing. Not even when I'd run out into the lobby area had there been anything to place the building. I did, however, remember seeing a cactus on the front desk as I ran past.

Unfortunately, he didn't have any more insight, though—like me—he did find it odd how certain things in these memories, like the dance studio and the piano, seemed so solid, while other things, like the man and the pattern on the walls, seemed to blur. I knew there had to be a reason, but nothing remotely feasible came to mind.

Maybe I wasn't working with the boundaries I knew, the boundaries I'd set. Perhaps my schema of the world was too limited. Even if that was the case, I wasn't sure how to break free from my self-imposed borders.

We sat for a while, contemplating possibilities while the CD switched from song to song, before I finally spoke again. "Well, sitting around doesn't seem to be doing anything." I stood and held out my hand to him. "Doing seems to be the only way to bring these things back. So… let's do."

He snorted at my graceless words, but took my hand anyway. He stood without any effort from me and led me back to the center of the room as Billy Joel's _She's Always a Woman _played in the background.

"So do you have any other teaching method?"

"Why?" he asked, furrowing his brow.

"Well, I don't seem to have the ability to learn the way we were going…" I hoped he would get the hint. "Besides, do kids dance like this now? I mean, it's like something you'd see in an old musical."

He must have other ways of teaching, because he pulled me closer, placing my feet upon his. "Who cares how they dance? This is so much better."

I had to agree, but I worried about him. "Be careful," I admonished. "I don't want to hurt—"He cut me off, laughing. "You think you're going to hurt me? What with how much you weigh and how delicate and soft you are?"

I blushed at his comment. "I guess not. So, I'm going to stand on your feet the entire time? How's that going to work?"

"Like this." He pulled me to his chest and began moving, his fluidity surprising me.

"I guess that does work."

The song drew to a close, another ballad taking its place. "I love this song," I stated out of nowhere and began humming along.

"What about it makes you love it?"

"Well, first off, the video had Johnny Depp in it."

"That's a reason to love a song."

I wasn't sure if his sarcastic tone was because he believed me or he knew I wasn't being truthful.

"Kidding. I was just kidding," I said, then snuggled closer, hoping to hide my face if I actually had to explain my feelings. "You really want to know?"

My hair moved as his chin brushed up against it, a nod.

"I like the music, of course. But this song is so much more than that. I mean, the guitar portion is great. But the lyrics… the lyrics are _amazing_. The way they speak about love, the way they describe how a woman becomes the man's world, it's so romantic. I mean, 'when you find yourself lying helpless in her arms'… Gah! What woman doesn't want a man who's that head over heels for her?"

He was silent, though his body still moved mine to the beat.

"Too much?" I asked. "Sorry if I was a little over the top."

His response was to pull me tighter to him and sigh. "No, not at all."

"Good," I mouthed. "I wouldn't want to scare you off."

"I think it's me who should worry about that." He laughed, though his tone told that it concerned him in reality.

"I don't think you have to worry." I pulled back and smiled at him. "I'm not running anywhere."

My phone's ring was muffled because it was in my bag; I barely heard it. I'd been out in the city by myself, exploring the touristy areas of Port Angeles. Edward had been nervous, knowing that he couldn't come out with me since the sun was shining brightly. I had convinced him that I would stay where there would be lots of people. After a while of intense discussion, he finally gave up even though I knew he didn't feel comfortable with my choice. I was a grown woman and if I wanted to spend some time alone, I was going to do it.

I opened my purse and pulled out the little phone. The call was from a number I'd seen before, but I couldn't place it, so I knew it wasn't Alice or Edward or any of the family for that matter.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, Bella?" The girl's voice was one I'd heard before.

"Um, yeah?" My brows pulled together as I tried to place it.

"Great! I _hoped_ I had the right number."

I knew who it was from her false enthusiasm.

"Hey, Jess. What's up?"

"Well… you know how I'm going to the dance with Mike?"

"Yep." I was grateful to have dodged that bullet.

"So Tyler is going with Lauren and Eric's taking Angela."

I knew that too. I'd made the suggestion to Jessica, knowing full well that she'd alert Angela and Lauren. "Cool."

"I talked to Lauren and Angela and they want to go dress shopping. I thought maybe you'd want to go get one too."

"Oh." How was I going to get out of this? Alice would kill me if I picked something on my own, and I really didn't want to go with Lauren. She was so hostile. "Um, when?"

"Tonight."

And with that one word, Jessica had provided a way out. "I can't. We're camping until Wednesday. In fact, I'm not even supposed to be on my phone. I only answered because I'd gone for a walk by myself."

"Oh, that's right." She took a breath, gearing up for something. "So what's it like? Camping with the Cullens? Are they as gorgeous first thing in the morning? I mean, no one looks good after sleeping outside, right? But I bet Edward looks great, though." _Did this girl ever breathe?_ "I couldn't imagine him… not. Speaking of Edward…"

_Here it comes._

"What's going on with him and you?"

"Um, nothing." I cursed the crack in my voice. "We're friends, brothers. I mean, he's my brother. I'm not his. There's nothing else." Why couldn't I stop rambling? She'd definitely pick up on that.

"Yeah. Brother. _Nothing_ else." I could almost see her rolling her eyes.

"So, I'm sorry I can't go tonight." My change of subject was clumsy and I knew it, but it was my only hope for salvation.

"Yeah, maybe we can reschedule." She was quiet for a minute or so. "You're coming back Wednesday. Think you'll be back by like six?"

"I don't know. Where are you going dress shopping?"

"Port Angeles. Wait! Isn't that on your way back?"

"I'm not sure," I hedged. "I, um, I think so."

"We could meet up then. You could get dropped off and I'd drive you home."

I was clearly backed into a corner. "Um, sure. Can Alice come along? She'll kill me if I go shopping without her and I'm sure she'd love a girls' night out."

She hesitated. "I guess. Yeah, it could be fun."

We finalized plans and hung up. I wasn't happy, but it looked like I was going to be shopping in a few days.

I put my phone back in my bag and walked farther down the pier, enjoying the sounds of people and the water as well as the spectacular view. I walked to the edge of the wooden slats and peered down to the grey water below, leaning over the metal railing.

"Bella?" A woman's voice—a voice I should recognize but seemed out of place here—called, shocking me. Who was here that knew me?

I straightened up from the balustrade and turned around.

* * *

End Note:

So there you are: Chapter 24.

I hope you enjoyed it. I won't make any promises on updates or review responses, since I can't seem to keep them. For that, once again, I am sorry.

As always: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I've been so nervous about the whole kiss thing. I hope I did it justice.

So any ideas on what's going on with Bella? Why are these "memories" so strange?

For those of you who asked, the baby is wonderful. My older child is spectacular with her. However, it is quite a shock going from one to two. Thank you so much for caring. :D I go back to work very soon, and I'm dreading it.


	25. Memories

A|N:

Yes, I am still here. I hope you are, too.

I'm sorry for the delay. I'm still here. I'm still writing, however slow. I will finish this story. There will be closure.

I've said it before; I'll say it again. I have been slowly responding to reviews. Please know I read each one, and I appreciate them more than I can tell. Sometimes, when I get overwhelmed with writing, I reread them for some inspiration. Thank you all so much.

Thanks so much, Strider and Shasta. You rock for beta'ing this.

Sherryola rec'd this story on her lovely fic, Seeing Bella. I've started it; it's great and I strongly recommend reading it. No words I could say here can do it justice. Just go read! Thanks so much, dear. I really appreciate your kind words. :D

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

* * *

**SUMMARY** (I was told that not everyone could get to it on the forum so here it is here):

Bella woke up lost, alone and afraid. She wandered but found no one until Alice, Esme and Carlisle found her. They took her into their home. Edward reacted as expected and ran to Alaska. Bella went to stay in the cottage, where she found some information on an Isabella Swan, but strangely that information disappeared. Edward returned home and the Cullens convinced Bella to return home.

Bella was found to have a strange talent, so the Denali coven came to meet her and find out more about her gift. It seems our little Bella is a shield, but that she can also echo other's gifts. So, she can see the visions Alice sees and hear Edward's thoughts. But it's a weaker version of their abilities, and she needs skin contact.

Bella has learned about vampire mating, but she doesn't believe that Edward feels that way about her. So, she has decided to sit back and watch what happens with him. She's spent a lot of time with him, learning to drive, learning to play piano and learning a tiny bit about her past.

Then she saw Tyler get into an accident and rushed to help, falling and blacking out.

Bella had fallen and hit her head, landing herself in the hospital. When she was about to leave, the chief of police showed up. There was some sort of connection to him, though she isn't sure why. Then there was a blowup between Edward and Bella. They both said some things that probably shouldn't have been said. Bella ended up running from the house.

Bella ran off in a tiff, eventually winding up in La Push, where she met Jake. After a few days of not speaking to Edward, she decided to do something and came up with an excuse to see Charlie.

So she met and spent time with Charlie, noticing a picture of a woman whom she closely resembled while at his house.

Weeks passed and Edward paid her no attention. Finally, at the end of last chapter, Mike asked her to the dance. Edward couldn't handle that, so he finally spoke up again. Their first communication after the "hiatus" was strained. Later in the day, Edward apologizes… just as he's about to tell her something REALLY important, there's a bang at the door…

Alice takes Bella away to the cottage where she drops a bombshell.

Edward comes to find them and tells Bella about the wolves.

Dum! Dum! Dum!

So, there's this meeting. The wolves tell them that they're watching (just like Big Brother) so everyone needs to be careful.

Peter and Charlotte come for a lovely stay, so B has to be out of the house, just in case. Edward takes her to PA, where they share a lovely meal and a jaunt in the rain.

OMG! OMG!

There was a kiss, then a dance. After Bella went to spend some time in Port Angeles.

Onto our story…

* * *

When I turned around, no one was there—well, no one who was looking for me. To my right, there was a young mother, looking frazzled as she tried to wrestle a small child into the backseat of a stroller while handing the infant in the front a bottle. In the far distance, a couple walked hand-in-hand, enjoying the rare sunlight. Various other people milled around, but no one was paying any attention to me, nor was there anyone having a happy reunion.

Had I been mistaken? Perhaps I was hearing things. I'd been _sure_ a woman had called me.

Shrugging, I turned back to the water and watched it ripple under the pier. Something caught my eye as it moved under the platform, darting out of sight. I leaned forward, balancing precariously on the metal railing to catch another view of the object. Something compelled me to push myself beyond the safe limits of my balance. I needed to see what that flash had been.

Suddenly, I was in another place.

Though I couldn't actually _feel_ the temperature, I was sure it was a warmer, drier place—it just felt somehow brighter. I was on another pier, still leaning over the railing, which must have been much larger than the one I'd just been standing on. It dug into my stomach as my legs swung beneath me, not even touching the ground. As before with the dance studio, everything was in sharp focus, so clear—almost as real as life—but yet in some way screaming that it was in my head.

"Bella?" That same woman's voice—the one from moments before—called out.

I didn't turn, as I should have. Instead I moved farther forward, pushing against the bottom rail with my toes.

"Bella? Bella?" The woman sounded angry… or nervous, repeating my name in a tone of hysterical panic. "Bella, what are you doing?"

I tried to turn and face her, knowing I'd be in big trouble if I didn't, but my foot caught on the upright rail, causing me to wobble and tip. Just as I was about to fall over, someone grabbed me around the waist and pulled me against them.

"Bella, you scared me," that same woman growled at me. "Don't you ever do that to me again!"

I was turned around and looked up to see the dark-haired woman, the one who starred in most of my memories. Her face was paler than usual. She looked like she was about to pass out. Behind her, the sun was higher in the sky than I was used to in Forks. That was why it was so bright.

"Sowwy, Mommy," a girl's high-pitched voice—my voice?—said. "I won't do it again."

"You're right; you won't." She frowned, her blue eyes piercing, her nose flaring with each breath. "Grandma and I were so worried about you." She nodded behind her, and I looked to see an older woman standing there.

The woman had dark eyes—just like mine—and graying hair that had once been a similar color to mine—even with most of the color leached out, that dark brown was still recognizable strewn around her face . Her eyes sparkled, though I could tell she was trying to keep a stern face.

"I'm sowwy, Mommy." I twisted my head to look around her, focusing on the woman beyond. "Sowwy, Gwamma Mawie."

Her nervous laughter filled the air, and my mother reached and tousled my hair. "I love you, baby. I don't know what I'd do without you."

As with every other memory, the image faded away to nothing, my mother, grandmother, and a younger me disappearing before my eyes. Once again, I was left standing alone in the middle of a nearly empty pier in Port Angeles, staring at the water, while I attempted to hold onto pictures and people that seemed to sift through my fingers as easily as sand. I sighed and turned around, leaning back against the rails.

Though the memories now seemed to be returning at a rapid pace, nothing held any particular interest, nothing had any clues of who I was or what I'd been through. They were mere vignettes of a somewhat non-eventful life—a life that could have belonged to anyone.

The only thing that was familiar was the woman. If this woman wasn't the one in Charlie's picture, she was a dead ringer. Maybe his ex had a twin sister or a relative who looked exactly like her. Could Marie have been her mother? My dad's? Maybe nothing to them at all. Perhaps, I had just been sucked out of my world and into some sort of alternate universe where everyone had a doppelganger.

I laughed at myself, a tinge of hysteria lacing my tone. I was really letting my imagination run wild. Next I'd be buying books on how to develop my ESP, or worse, I'd be going to carnivals to hear about my past lives and have my fortune told. Abruptly, I stopped laughing and looked around to check that there wasn't anyone paying attention. I was sure I'd made an idiot of myself the last few minutes, first my blanking out and then my out-of-place laughing. They'd have me taken away if I continued down that path.

Luckily, no one seemed to be watching. They were all too busy milling about, involved with their own problems. They all had their own lives.; I wasn't even a blip on their radar. Was this true about the people from my past life? No one seemed to be looking for me. Surely, I would have found them had that been true. But maybe, just maybe, I was too far from them. Maybe they were hunting for me, and I was outside their search radius.

It seemed like my faulty recollections were all I had to give me hope. And despite everything, I still had hope.

I took a deep breath and pushed the negative thoughts aside. I had to stop focusing on the bad. I shouldn't be disappointed that the latest memory held no clues; I should be excited. I had just regained another part of my life, no matter how miniscule. Perhaps if they kept coming at this pace, I'd have something of merit come through soon. It was with this thought that I began my walk back, eager to get back to the hotel and tell Edward.

* * *

"… and so, that was it." The afterglow wore off quickly, before I even finished telling Edward about my experience down at the pier. "I know it's not much, but it's _something_."

"Something," he echoed, then set his lips in a tight smile that didn't reach his eyes. "I'm not—"

"I know it doesn't give a clue about anything, really, but it's my mom and grandmother. I have them, at least. I mean, I didn't have Marie before… or the pier. It's a start."

"True," he acknowledged. His smile was sincere, but somehow sad at the same time. "It must be difficult to lose everything. I, at least, have some memories, however blurry they may be."

"Still… I guess it doesn't lead me any closer to... well, to me."

"Come here." He reached out an arm to me.

I traversed the distance as quickly as possible, snuggling into his hard chest.

He pulled me closer, wrapping his arms around and hugging me. His other arm brushed against my fingertips, and I briefly heard his wish to be warm before he pulled his arm away.

I wanted to tell him that he was warm, at least in the ways that mattered, but for some reason, I didn't. Instead, I became a little more introspective, choosing to think about my lost loved ones. Now that I had faces, it seemed more difficult not to know them, not to know me. I stepped back when Edward released his grip and looked at the smooth collar of his white button down, unable to really see it before me.

Edward's cool palm came to rest on my cheek and ear, his fingers wrapping around to the back of my head. He lifted my face to his, and bent down, gently pressing his lips against mine. A groan escaped as I wondered how he always knew what to do to distract me.

It was a brief peck, but it brought me back to the moment. I was on a mini vacation with a loved one I had now. I should be joyful for what I had, not mourning what was lost, what I didn't even really know in the first place. Sure, I had to find out, but it shouldn't overshadow how fortunate I was at that moment.

After the kiss, Edward pulled back and grasped my hand in his. _We will find out everything_, he whispered in his thoughts, never taking his eyes from mine. Beyond his conviction, there was an undertone of fear… or grief—or disbelief—playing just beyond where I could fully hear. It was background to what he allowed, a simple hum that I could only understand in part.

I sighed, calling him on his lie. _Do you think so?_

He nodded. _Yes._

_Then why do you seem so unconvinced? Why are you sad?_

He smiled tightly. _Once you find out, Bella, you're going to want to return to _your_ life. You're going to want to leave us—_me_._ His words—especially the last sentence—were barely audible, like he'd fought to keep them to himself, but lost the battle.

In a rush, he dropped my hand and was across the room before I could register his absence.

"I want this for you," he continued, not looking at me. "I want you to be safe... and happy."

"And you think I'd be either, have either, without you?"

"Of course, you would." His words were disdainful, but his ire was not toward me. "I—my presence is the most _dangerous_ thing for you."

"You're wrong." I hoped my conviction rang through in my words.

"Am I?" he asked, his voice almost inaudible. "Really?"

I raised and lowered my head purposely, slowly. "Unmistakably."

He shook his head. "We'll see."

I crossed my arms in front of my chest. "Yes, we will."

* * *

Sitting inside on Tuesday, looking at the scenery of the Pacific Northwest, I was hit with the realization that although my relationship with Edward had taken a few steps forward, in some ways, he was right. It was the _only_ thing that had.

I was stagnant… yet again.

I needed to move forward. Sure, it was comfortable in this constant limbo I'd created. But I could no longer live there rather than working toward something that might be difficult. Maybe it was fear. Maybe not. But the symptom was the same: I was floundering.

Though more memories had been coming back, I'd had no recent revelations or information about myself that actually helped me move forward. How had I once again allowed myself to become too comfortable?

That answer was impossible to deny.

Looking across the room to the couch, I caught Edward's eye—I'd taken the chair by one of the large windows, wanting my own space to think while enjoying the unusual sunshine streaming through, warming me. He smiled, and I forced myself to return a facsimile. It didn't work. I couldn't lift the corners of my lips high enough, or maybe it didn't reach my eyes; I couldn't be sure. But his grin faltered in response.

It wasn't his fault, really. He hadn't caused me to sit idle. I'd done that myself. In fact, he had tried to help me interpret my memories, or at the very least understand why the ones I'd regained were full of questions, with so few answers.

Though he had argued the fact, I had been the one to hold back, the one to worry what finding myself would do, what changes it would create for us. I was the one who had allowed myself to remain idle. Now, I couldn't do that anymore.

Besides, I would fight for us once I found out who I was. I wouldn't allow anything to come between us. He was worth far too much. _We_ were worth far too much.

Edward raised an eyebrow, a silent question asked.

"I'll tell you later," I said softly.

His eye roll and huff spoke volumes, even more than his lack of verbal response.

"Just give me time to think?"

He nodded. "Fine, Bella." He looked down to the book in his hands, then back at me, his brows furrowing. "Please don't edit too much." He twisted his lips in a humorous pout.

I laughed. "You always see right through me, anyway."

As I thought about the disjointed memories I had, I lost myself again, focusing on details that always seemed to elude me. There were some strange parts that had to be clues to the greater picture, but we couldn't figure out what. We still needed more… but more what? More information? More memories? Just more.

Once again I was confronted with the fact that I had no idea who I was. Sure, I knew who I'd become in the here and now. But I didn't know my foundation, and this simple fact—that almost everyone took for granted—was becoming more and more important. How was I able to move on if I didn't know _me_?

Nothing I'd remembered or found had led to any path that could help me get a clear picture. In fact, some of what I remembered wasn't clear at all. Why was that? It wasn't like the memories had been marred by age—some of the differences were during the same memory. Like the one with the piano—how could the woman be so clear? It felt like I could almost touch her. But the man—he was nothing but a blob of color, dark on top and pale on bottom. Even stranger was the fact that the backgrounds kept changing, rolling, switching in between foggy and clear.

As I had done countless times before, I tried to push beyond my limits, to pierce the bubble that surrounded my prior life—my true life—and bring myself back. As usual, I received the same response when I tried to force a memory: nothing.

So I had to go over what little I already had.

It seemed researching myself had brought no further information and waiting for something meaningful to breakthrough hadn't either. I wasn't sure what step to take next.

It was then that I decided to hit a local bookstore the next day, before we went dress shopping. Maybe I'd find something of merit there. I instantly felt lighter. I was finally making a step in the right direction, a path to finding my past, so I could have a future.

"What's got you so happy?" Edward's voice was much closer than it should have been. "It's like someone turned on a light switch."

"Not much," I responded, unable to quell my smile. I looked up to see him standing just in the shadows. He still wouldn't step in the sun in front of me. "Just looking forward to shopping tomorrow."

"You… shopping?" he asked through laughter. "I have a problem believing _that_ would make you happy."

"I guess not." I shrugged. "But It has been a while since I've seen Alice, and… I was just thinking I might go to a nearby bookstore."

"Ah, books. That makes more sense."

I rolled my eyes. "Predictable, huh? But I want to go anyway, and I know Jess and Angela wouldn't want to. Since I'm meeting up with them later, I'll go alone... I guess Alice won't join me? I mean, it is supposed to be sunny tomorrow."

"No, not until later."

"So, I'll meet up with her after," I finished, deciding to bring up a question I'd never had answered. "Will you ever show me?" I hoped I could cadge him into a display at that moment. "It is still somewhat sunny."

"Saturday, remember?" He was gentle, dissuading me in a kind manner. Or was that nerves? Could he be as nervous as I was intrigued?

"Right, Saturday." I sighed. "I _guess_ I can wait three days."

"I know I can."

I shook my head. "I'm sure it's not that bad. What? Do you become a giant animated skeleton, or something?"

"Or something," he confirmed, sarcasm in his words.

"See? I'm sure it won't bother me at all." I smiled, trying to dispel his gloom… and my own.

He walked across the room as I once again turned to my book, enjoying the sun that would be gone all too soon. After a few seconds, soft music began to fill the room.

The familiar piano of Fur Elise surrounded me in comforting, well-known melodies, whisking me off to places not in the pages in front of me. Colors and shapes danced before my eyes, lulling me off to the space between sleep and awake, the place where the most fantastic dreams were reality, where I could have my old life back but also keep everything I loved from this one. As the piece neared its end, I fell, along with the musical runs, deeper into that near dreamland, unable to notice much but the difference in the visions playing before my eyes. The shapes became more substantial, more human.

There was a muffled thump. The book I'd been reading? I didn't care. Sleep beckoned.

The song changed to much richer melody, slow and sensual as the lower notes melted in with the high ones, a flowing sound following. The notes became a thick, regal cushion around my troubled mind, the chords a raft floating me further towards the ocean of sleep.

_Once again I found myself reading a book, the very one that I'd had when sitting in the room with Edward. I heard a soft sound to my right and turned toward it._

_On the opposite side of a small living room with rich wood floors stood a dark-haired woman, her body swaying to the gentle rhythm of the same song I'd been listening to. Her head rocked along with the rise and fall of the music_, her hair and form flowing as the music did_. In her hand, she held a cloth that she passed over the sofa table before her. __Though she was only cleaning—evidenced by the dusty off-white rag in her hand-she was graceful, like the branches of a weeping willow billowing in a breeze. It was peaceful, this image. _

_As with all dreams, her surroundings were wispy, insubstantial, sometimes looking like the table was possibly glass with metal legs, at others like a light wood—oak, probably. The room was impossible to define completely and it was not at all necessary to do so._

_She wore a dark dress, a timeless piece that could have fit in no matter to which decade she belonged, so I couldn't set an exact time from that. The blurry images surrounding her left much to the imagination and nothing to help set the time period either. Even the clearer pictures didn't help. Everything was old-fashioned, clearly, but it was also worn, just outdated and past their lifespan. Yet, somehow I didn't care that I couldn't place what I was seeing, I held onto to it all the same. Everything held an importance I couldn't quite grasp. They were all pieces of me._

_"Dance with me, Bella," the woman called, turning to where I stood. Her grin was infectious, and I felt my lips smile before I could answer, though that wasn't the only reason for my joy._

_Her face was older than in the memories I'd had before, many more lines apparent than in the one picture I'd seen here in Forks, but there was no mistaking who she was. _Mom_, my heart shouted; _Charlie's ex-wife_, my mind screamed. _Both_, they supplied together. The resemblance was unmistakable._

_Confusion swept through me, even in my fantasy. How was it possible that this woman could be both? Charlie and the woman in the photo at his house were around the same age, neither of them old enough to have a thirty year old daughter. Maybe I was wrong in the assumption that she was my mother. That had to be the only conclusion_

_"I'd rather watch," my voice replied, sounding much like it did to me now. "You know I can't d—"_

_"Oh, just stop," she admonished, putting her hands on her hips playfully. "Get up here and dance with me."_

_I laughed cheerfully, even while admitting defeat and submitting to the indulgences of the woman before me. I stood, walking over to her, as she thrust the dust rag onto the table she'd just cleaned._

_"I love Spring," she exclaimed and threw her hands above her head. "A new beginning. A fresh start."_

_"Allergies, cleaning," I deadpanned. "I can see why."_

_She laughed in response, more like teenage giggling than I seemed capable of. I couldn't help but join in with a chuckle of my own. _

"_That's every day, not just Spring," she corrected. She spread her hands in an outward motion gesturing to the room at large, a broad overdone curtsy. "So dance, baby." _

_I rocked to the music, the movement somehow… off with the sounds coming from the speakers no matter how I tried to keep to the beat. Even though I knew the scene wasn't _really_ happening—it was a dream after all—I began to feel self-conscious. Impossibly, my vision body seemed to pick up on my unease, and my movements became more erratic._

_The woman laughed, grabbing my flailing arms and pulling me into a loose dance hold. "You're overthinking it."_

_I should have felt uncomfortable in her embrace, but I wasn't. It didn't bother me that this woman held me in her arms. In fact, it felt comforting, a kind act from someone who truly cared._

_As soon as that thought flitted through my brain, she yelpe,d and I pulled away slightly. "Sorry," I said, pulling from her grip. "I told you I don't dance, Mom."_

_Mom? So she _is_ Mom. What on earth?_

_"That's all in your head," she dismissed, waving her arm at me, then grabbing the rag and walking over to the end table where my book still lay. She carried on, oblivious to my distraction. "You used to dance beautifully when you were little."_

_I pulled myself from my thoughts, knowing I needed to respond somehow, but unsure how. _

_Miraculously, my words came unbidden. "I tripped half the class at the recital. One girl wound up with a broken arm and had to wear a cast all summer long."_

_She laughed again. "Summer in . . ." Her voice died out, though her lips moved, the word mumbled into more a sound than anything. ". . . in a cast. Can you imagine how hot that would be?"_

"_No, but B—"_

_The door opened and someone walked in, a breeze blowing the sitting area by the entrance where I had just been._

"_Hey, babe," my mother called out to our newest companion. "Bella and I were just dancing!"_

"_Dancing, huh?" the man asked, his voice an odd mix, almost like two voices put together, a tenor and a bass. "And you survived." He was joking with my mom, but the implication still stung._

"_Yeah. The house is still standing, too." I decided to change the subject. "So, how was your trip?" I wondered where I was getting these words from. It was like my mouth was moving without my approval, the words making sense to everyone but me._

_I turned to the man and was surprised by what I saw. He was beyond fuzzy, almost indiscernible. Each time he moved, a million other images followed in the same pattern and yet not the same at all. I couldn't get a read on his size or shape or even his hair color, let alone his actual features._

_As I was watching, my mom rushed over to the guy and jumped into his awaiting arms, her figure blending into the blob that was the guy._ As she made her way across the room, I noticed that her form flickered, both focused and unfocused, her posture between excited joy and rehearsed elation, more a resigned happiness than a true one.

"_I missed you so much . . ." Again her voice cut out and became impossible to decipher. I sat and waited for her words to once again make sense. "I'm so glad you're home." Like the man, she spoke_ in two voices that were somehow one, genuine joy and a falsely bright sound mixed together.

_The man's strange multi-toned laughter broke through the house. "It's not easy being stuck at home with a teenager . . ." He paused and the area where his head should be moved. "Is it, Bella?"_

"_Well, you know, thirty-six _is_ a hard age," I answered back. "But she'll grow out of it . . . eventually."_

"_Hey!" my mom quipped. "I'm not the one who's sixteen, thank you very much. Just because I call you my middle-aged child, does _not_ mean that you actually are." She turned to the guy. "So any good news?" _

_I somehow knew that age was a bone of contention for my mom._

"_You'll never guess, Renee. They offered me a j . . ." he began, but I was ripped away before I could hear more._

Renee. What a pretty name.

The images grew fainter, another ending to an even more perplexing memory . . . or was it a dream? I thought that perhaps these were more than one memory melded into one. Maybe that was why things kept changing. Perhaps that was why some things were so clear when others were not.

* * *

The sun was abnormally bright when I opened my eyes, the setting rays glaring through the window and directly into my eyes.

"Ugh."

"Have a nice nap?" Edward's voice came from the bedroom.

"If you could call it that."

"Do you think you can be ready for dinner in about half an hour?"

"I don't want to go out," I whined. "I'd much rather stay in with you. Then you don't have to pretend to eat."

"I don't mind pretending." He popped his head out of the door, his grin infectious. "I like spoiling you."

How could I argue? "Half an hour it is."

I stood up, stretched my arms above my head and walked toward him.

"What were you dreaming?" he asked. "You were laughing and talking about dusting and dancing."

I tried to cast my mind back. I knew I had been dreaming. I _almost_ remembered it, but the vision was just on the periphery, closer than my lost memories, yet still just as out of reach.

"I don't remember. Maybe if I think about it, I'll remember."

"Must have been pretty funny."

"Must have."

* * *

When I had called Alice over the weekend, she'd been ecstatic about the shopping trip, though I was already sure she knew I was going to ask her—she thought she was so cunning with her subterfuge, but I always saw right through her.

Since Jessica and Angela were meeting while the sun was going to be shining brightly, I had to call them to delay our arrival. I dreaded giving the news to Jessica, frightened she'd find some way to get it into the rumor mill—I was sure she already had something to say about the "single Cullens" while we'd been _camping_—so I waited until the very last minute to call her.

"Hey, Jess," I said at her greeting.

"Bella? Hey, what's up?"

"We're going to be a little late. I want to go to the bookstore nearby. Is it okay if Alice and I show up later?"

"Sure, when do you think?"

"Around seven?"

"Okay." Her voice was off. "I'll talk to Angela. We'll probably just eat first, or something, and then get to the dresses after."

I knew she wasn't pleased, but I acted like I noticed nothing. "Cool. See you then."

"Yeah. See you later."

As I hung up, I wondered what had set her off. Was it just that we were delaying her finding the perfect dress? I didn't let it occupy my mind too much, though. I had much more pressing things to stew over.

A couple of hours later, I was walking toward the bookstore, lost in the few memories I had, trying to find some connection, some piece of information that made sense.

When I stumbled upon my destination, I was unimpressed by the look of it. Clearly this was not what I had been expecting. It looked more like a new age shop you'd find in a mall than an actual legitimate bookstore. I sighed and kept walking since I had time to kill. Alice wouldn't be able to come out soon, even with the elongated shadows of early evening.

Again I lost myself in my own head, not paying attention to where I was going. I didn't notice when the pretty buildings changed to something much more industrial, the glow of the lamps above casting sinister shadows as the twilight waned. This area was different from the touristy places I had visited earlier.

I ignored the look of the place, once again allowing my thoughts to take over, and began my trek into the unknown. It wasn't until I heard male voices that I pulled myself from my reverie.

I was surrounded by buildings, each monstrosity screaming that I wasn't allowed there. This was the seedy underbelly of a small town, no place for a seventeen year old girl—or a woman trapped in a seventeen year old girl's body. I'd have no chance if I stumbled upon something dangerous.

Across the street and a short way up the block was a group of boys either in their late teens or early twenties. One of them was turned to me, sneering in my direction. I was too close to turn around without making it obvious that I was trying to avoid them. Instead, I decided to walk past them and find my way out through the maze of crumbling factories.

"Hello," called the shortest of the boys—men—as I passed.

"Um... hi," I answered, though I knew I should just ignore him.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed him turn back to his friends, whispering so I couldn't hear the conversation. Something told me I didn't want to be involved. I had to get away—to crowds, to safety.

I wandered down the street, hoping the turn ahead would get me back to humanity and security in numbers. Unfortunately, it was just another empty road, devoid of movement, even with the slight breeze that blew past me.

About halfway down the block, I heard the sound of footsteps behind me, closing in. I sped up, wanting to get away from whoever it was. My heart began spluttering frantically, much more so than the situation called for.

I came to the end and noticed lights far off: the people and the protection I craved. I raced toward my salvation but still the footsteps followed. I turned to see two of the boys from the other road behind me, keeping pace even though they didn't appear to be rushing like I was.

Up ahead were the other two.

A car passed only a little way off, and I thought belatedly that I should have brought attention to myself. Instead, I was alone, surrounded by four large boys in a part of the city that would probably not see anyone else until the morning.

Images of bare skin flitted through my mind, fear rising as I realized they were from the dream I'd had repeatedly, the dream where the brown-haired man handled me in unwanted ways.

"No!" I screamed. "Leave me alone."

The short man laughed. "Aw, honey, there's no need to be like that."

"Just... just stay away." My raw throat muffled the sound as I spoke, making me sound more frightened than I'd hoped for.

The man laughed, the others joining in almost as if a side thought. They came nearer and nearer as I tried to come up with a battle plan, a strategy to stop something dreadful from happening. But even as I fought to keep my mind clear, the images of the brown haired man assaulted me, beating me into submission without a single blow from the men around me.

I fell to the ground, pulling my arms over my head. "Get away from me. Leave me alone." It was more a plea than a warning, and I knew my display would be seen as nothing but weakness. Yet somehow, I was unable to stop myself.

A second later, the dark alley was bathed in light, the rays shining through the men's legs, a glimmer of hope. Then the one voice I'd prayed to hear spoke.

"Get away from her!" Edward yelled. "Bella? Bella?" He was frantic.

"What are you going to do, boy?" I heard the short one ask. "There's four of us and only one—"

He was cut off by a low growl and then the alley was filled with the sound of people running. Suddenly I was bathed in an ultra bright light. I was unable to see what was happening and flinched when a hand reached out to me.

"Did they touch you?" he asked, his voice tight as though he were restraining himself.

"No," I answered. "I'm fine."

"I'm not." He lifted me from the ground and walked me toward the light. "I need to get away before I do something rash."

"Like growl at them?" I asked, trying to make light of the situation.

He sighed louder than was necessary. "Do you realize what I almost did?" He placed me in the seat and buckled my belt before I could bring my hands up. "I could have… I would have… If he'd hurt you."

"But they didn't," I argued. "Nothing happened."

Edward closed the door with overwhelming force and opened his almost immediately following, then slid into his seat. Anger more than apparent, he slammed the car into gear and pealed from the site, driving much faster than he should have on the small roads. We were out of Port Angeles before I could completely understand our speed. The darkened trees whipped by the window in blurs. He drove a few miles before turning off onto what must have been an abandoned road.

The harsh set of his jaw sharpened the planes of his face into severe shadow and light. Even in his anger, he was unbelievably beautiful.

"You okay?" I asked, my voice sounded like I had gargled gravel.

His jaw flexed, before he spoke. "What would I have done had I been even a minute later?"

"You weren't."

"I wasn't," Edward agreed, seeming to calm down for the briefest of seconds. "You can't believe the foul things they were thinking."

"I don't want to."

"No, you don't." He breathed deeply, an effort to really relax himself, I assumed.

"And you don't need to think about it," I coaxed. "Nothing happened."

"Not tonight, it didn't."

"What does that mean?"

"One of those men is dangerous, very dangerous." He looked out the side window, away from me. "A true monster." He turned back, fervor burning in his eyes. "I have to go back and—"

"You have to do no such thing," I admonished.

"You don't understand."

"Make me."

He reached over to me, grabbing my hands in his, his eyes boring into mine. "Bella, you are so much more than just the world to me. You're everything." He paused, bringing my hands to his lips, then lowering them again. "I don't know how to adequately say this…" He dropped his head so it was on the same level as mine. "You are my life now."

* * *

Much LOVE to anyone reading.

I hope you enjoyed it.

No promises on updates or review responses. I can't seem to keep them and it isn't fair.

As always: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

So there are more clues in this chapter. There are some really strange things going on with this girl.

Also, there was something in the last chapter that could have been seen as a slip up, but really wasn't. I was amazed that I didn't hear about it. I hope that doesn't mean that my lack of delays has caused people to stop reading, though I'm sure it probably has.

I know I had other things to say, but I can't seem to remember them. I think that posting the chapter is more important than self-important notes, so now I post.

THANK YOU!

BS

PS - FF is acting strangely. I apologize for formatting issues.


	26. Revelation

A|N:

Yes, I am still here. I hope you are, too.

I'm sorry for the delay. I'm still here. I'm still writing, however slow. I will finish this story. There will be closure.

I've said it before; I'll say it again. I have been slowly responding to reviews. Please know I read each one, and I appreciate them more than I can tell. Sometimes, when I get overwhelmed with writing, I reread them for some inspiration. Thank you all so much.

Thanks so much, Strider and Shasta. You rock for beta'ing this.

I do not own any of these characters, or the original plot to the Twilight Series. Everything publicly recognizable belongs to their owners. I am doing this only for the pleasure I gain from writing and I am not associated with anyone or anything to do with the Twilight Series. There is no financial benefit, whatsoever, though I may wish there were.

WARNING – this chapter may be a trigger for some people as it does reference rape. Please do not continue to read if this bothers you. I will explain anything pertinent should you need to now plot wise. Just contact me.

* * *

**SUMMARY** (I was told that not everyone could get to it on the forum so here it is here):

Bella woke up lost, alone and afraid. She wandered but found no one until Alice, Esme and Carlisle found her. They took her into their home. Edward reacted as expected and ran to Alaska. Bella went to stay in the cottage, where she found some information on an Isabella Swan, but strangely that information disappeared. Edward returned home and the Cullens convinced Bella to return home.

Bella was found to have a strange talent, so the Denali coven came to meet her and find out more about her gift. It seems our little Bella is a shield, but that she can also echo other's gifts. So, she can see the visions Alice sees and hear Edward's thoughts. But it's a weaker version of their abilities, and she needs skin contact.

Bella has learned about vampire mating, but she doesn't believe that Edward feels that way about her. So, she has decided to sit back and watch what happens with him. She's spent a lot of time with him, learning to drive, learning to play piano and learning a tiny bit about her past.

Then she saw Tyler get into an accident and rushed to help, falling and blacking out.

Bella had fallen and hit her head, landing herself in the hospital. When she was about to leave, the chief of police showed up. There was some sort of connection to him, though she isn't sure why. Then there was a blowup between Edward and Bella. They both said some things that probably shouldn't have been said. Bella ended up running from the house.

Bella ran off in a tiff, eventually winding up in La Push, where she met Jake. After a few days of not speaking to Edward, she decided to do something and came up with an excuse to see Charlie.

So she met and spent time with Charlie, noticing a picture of a woman whom she closely resembled while at his house.

Weeks passed and Edward paid her no attention. Finally, at the end of last chapter, Mike asked her to the dance. Edward couldn't handle that, so he finally spoke up again. Their first communication after the "hiatus" was strained. Later in the day, Edward apologizes… just as he's about to tell her something REALLY important, there's a bang at the door…

Alice takes Bella away to the cottage where she drops a bombshell.

Edward comes to find them and tells Bella about the wolves.

Dum! Dum! Dum!

So, there's this meeting. The wolves tell them that they're watching (just like Big Brother) so everyone needs to be careful.

Peter and Charlotte come for a lovely stay, so B has to be out of the house, just in case. Edward takes her to PA, where they share a lovely meal and a jaunt in the rain.

OMG! OMG!

There was a kiss, then a dance. After Bella went to spend some time in Port Angeles.

So… Bella got lost in PA (which I have now been), was herded by some guys and Edward found her.

* * *

_He reached over to me, grabbing my hands in his, his eyes boring into mine. "Bella, you are so much more than just the world to me. You're everything." He paused, bringing my hands to his lips, then lowering them again. "I don't know how to adequately say this…" He dropped his head so it was on the same level as mine. "You are my life now." _

Warmth filled me at his words—a profession of love without actually saying _the_ word. It could have come at a better time, sure. But it would be enough for now.

"And if he could do something to you," Edward continued, "he could do it to someone else. To someone else's Bella."

Though I was still squealing internally at his prior words, irritation started to break through my glee— actually, both irritation and fear. Would he have left me there in that alley to chase those guys down? What about in the car right now? He wouldn't hurt them in front of me; that was certain. But would he—

"Still doesn't explain why you'd leave me here… alone—"

"No," he almost screamed, dropping my hands in disgust that I thought he'd abandon me. "Not at all."

Anger burned hotter, a new excitement replacing the last. What else should I believe?

"I'd make sure you were safe first," he continued, his voice calculating. "Alice could get you home."

"Alice," I spat, disdain seeping through my words. "So _you'd_ still go."

He nodded.

_How _could_ he? _ I muttered the obvious and shook my head as my fury gained momentum, searing through my veins. "You'd leave. You'd— "

No! My anger couldn't win—I wouldn't allow that—so I took a deep, steadying breath and decided on a new approach. _Anything_ to change his mind. _Anything_ to make him stay.

"Don't." I pleaded with my eyes, though he only glanced at me, and hoped they said all that I could not bring myself to utter, especially with the haze of anger still floating around. I would say something I'd regret if I allowed myself to lose one ounce of control. That couldn't happen.

He made a scoffing sound at the back of his throat. "And leave them—_him_—to hurt someone else? To… _kill_ someone else? Who knows when—or if—he'd be found."

"I'm not saying to leave him," I placated.

"What are you saying, then?"

"I know the guilt would eat you up. But just— You're not— " God? No, that wouldn't work. But what would make him back down? "Let's just... let's just talk to Carlisle. He'll know what to do. I mean, he's good at that."

"I'd like to—" He shook his head and peeked at me, then away so fast I almost thought it was my imagination. "I'd just find a way to stop him from hurting someone else. Nothing more."

"I know."

He was still tense, his shoulders rigid, so I reached out and rubbed my fingers down his arm, ignoring as he flinched away. I didn't want to hear what he wanted to do to those guys. And I knew that I couldn't let him wallow in his self-imposed mire. Thoughts weren't actions, but still I needed to stop this downward spiral.

"Believe me; I don't want to let them go either. But hurting them, that's _not_ you. _You_ are a better man than they are."

He laughed, hard and short.

"It isn't." I was sure.

"You don't know what I'm capable of."

I stopped my hand on his forearm and squeezed. "I may not know everything, but I know _you_—the you _now_—" I squeezed harder —"and I have _no_ doubt you're above that."

He rolled his eyes and set his jaw, whipping his arm and his gaze away. "You have _no_ idea, Bella." His voice was hollow and yet somehow angry.

"You helped me." I turned to him fully, crossing my arms across my chest. Unable to articulate myself properly, I tried again. "I mean, you left them. That's _all_ that matters."

My fight was leaving me. His brusque was tone worrisome, deflating any tiny remnants of irritation I had remaining. I needed to distract him from his current line of thought before I lost him completely, but how?

Time. Time would distract him. "Listen, I'm supposed to meet the girls for dress shopping. And Alice is probably worried even though _nothing_ happened. You know she saw— "

He nodded.

"Maybe you should, you know, come with me?"

Perhaps if I kept him in my sight, I could prevent him from going after those men—not that I had any chance of stopping him should he actually decide to do anything. But if Alice was there, it was at least two—one and a half?—against one.

He sighed. "If that's what you want."

"It is." I forced a smile, trying to lighten the situation. "I mean, I know it's not going to be much fun for you. But you could help me pick out a dress, since you are my date and all."

It wasn't a way to calm him down or change his line of thought, but it was a start. And maybe if I kept him with me, I wouldn't relive the past half hour. I couldn't think about anything but him when he was near. A distraction like that had to help.

Once I was alone, I would think about what had happened and what could have happened. It would bother me—that much was certain. The images of the guy with the dark hair, the guy from my memories, what were they about? Who was he? What had we done? Had he been significant? In a bad way? These questions were sure to haunt me tonight, nightmares that wouldn't quit.

But in that moment, sitting next to him on some sort of turnoff, there was something more pressing. Edward needed a distraction… and to be honest, so did I.

"There you are," Alice exclaimed when we exited the car after Edward's expert parallel parking job—I would never have expected the Volvo to fit in the tiny space.

"Wow!" Jessica said dryly. "Alice _was_ right! She said you'd be pulling up, like, any minute. What took you so long?"

"Long story," I answered, looking to the ground and feigning embarrassment. "I kind of got lost coming back from the book store."

We were all standing outside a little Italian place; Angela and Jessica clearly had just left as they were just outside the door. Alice was close to them, keeping her distance while still seeming part of the group.

Edward stayed behind, walking over to Alice as I made my way to the others.

Jessica pounced as soon as I got near enough. "So you _were_ with Edward," she prodded, a sardonic smirk on her lips. "I thought you said you were coming with Alice."

"Um, plans changed. I got to Port Angeles earlier. And I actually wasn't _with_ him." That wasn't a lie. I'd be more believable if I stuck to a variation on the truth. "He kind of ran into me as I was walking back. Like I said, I got lost. He helped me get back." Close enough. I could get away with that. "So… um, you guys headed off to get the dresses?"

"Yeah," Angela chimed in, clearly picking up on my desire to change the subject. "But… well, you guys probably didn't eat, right?"

"No, I haven't had anything all day… and I'm starving." I looked to Alice. "What about you? You hungry?"

She laughed, and I knew she was going to shoot me down. "Actually, I'm not," she chirped, her golden eyes wide with innocence. "I had a snack on the way to town, but you look like you could stay."

I nodded and fought a sigh, unable to stop my shoulders slumping. I'd have to persuade him alone.

"So," she continued, "I know your size. I'll just pick out one for you. Or maybe I'll pick out a design I like and—"

"Off the rack is good enough," I cut in. "Besides, the dance is days away. Not enough time."

She rolled her eyes, knowing that days were far more than she actually needed, especially without that pesky sleep thing. She could probably have a custom dress available in hours.

"Mind if I eat?" I asked Jessica and Angela. I couldn't let Edward go off by himself, and I couldn't go with the girls for fear that Jessica might corner him. From the look in her eyes, she was ravenous for gossip fodder. He could protect himself normally, but in this mood? I wasn't sure he'd keep up his normally perfect façade.

"No way," Angela answered, cutting off anything the other girl could have said.

Jessica narrowed her eyes. "Fine, but we're talking later."

"Sorry, guys," I said. "I'll see you at school?"

"Definitely," Jessica said, sounding almost amazed and annoyed. What would she say tomorrow?

Angela uttered a sound of agreement with a small smile. "Have fun!"

"You too. Don't buy anything too crazy." I laughed, then spoke in an aside. "Watch her." I pointed in Alice's direction and hoped she would heed my warning.

The restaurant was nothing fancy, but it was cozy. The greeter showed a little more attention to Edward than I liked. It was all I could do not to grab his arm and claim him as mine. The strength of my possessiveness shocked me. I'd never had anything take control so fully before, not even my anger. I shook off the feeling when I saw Edward bribe the girl for a more secluded area—just like in an old movie. He was mine. I knew it. He knew it. Who cared if the girl was oblivious? She wasn't his type anyway.

We sat at a small table, our bodies leaning toward each other as if a force as uncontrollable as gravity kept us together. I leaned over and placed my hand on his. "Let's enjoy this, okay? After tonight, it's no longer just us."

He forced a smile. "You're right. It's our last time alone for a while."

"Can I get you anything?" a female voice asked, hinting at more than just food, her eyes trained on Edward. "Any drinks to start?"

Edward nodded his head toward me. "Bella?"

I ordered a soda, then looked at the menu, choosing the first thing I saw, something to do with mushrooms and pasta. Although I rushed through dinner, I kept a wary eye on Edward the entire time. I could not relax; neither could he. All in all, it was a stressful meal.

The drive home was quiet. I tried to break the silence a few times in the beginning, but nothing I said would help, so I eventually gave up. With the quiet came the memories of what had happened earlier. As I had done so many times, I pushed them to the recesses of my mind. They would come. And when they did, I feared a complete breakdown. Edward didn't need to witness that. No one did. I'd wait until I was at home, alone in my room. Alone to deal with it myself.

I thought of less important, more innocuous things. I would need to call Charlie soon. The deal for my car—well, truck—had been all but hammered out. I just needed to set up a time to pick it up. Since Charlie was such good friends with Billy, and I was such good friends with Charlie, it seemed like picking it up while Billy was visiting was the best way to go. I could drop off some food for Charlie, Charlie could spend more time with his friend driving him back to the rez, and Billy could see that I was safe and sound. Why not kill two—uh, three—birds with one stone.

We'd just made a turn when I heard Edward whip out his cell and dial. I looked out the window to see that we were racing up the driveway to the house. For once I was happy he drove like a maniac. It only allowed me a short time drowning in my own head, forcing happier thoughts.

He closed the cell and placed it back in his pocket. I hadn't heard him speak, so I wondered who at the house he'd contacted and why. I didn't ask. I'd find out soon enough.

As we pulled up to the front—rather than going to the garage—I noticed Carlisle and Esme standing on the porch, their faces grave.

"What did you tell them?" I groaned, more a complaint than an actual question. I turned to them, when instead of answering he just opened his door. "I'm fine." They'd hear me even without raising my voice.

My door flew open before I could grasp the handle, and Edward reached in to help me out. Even in his state—he was still obviously livid—he handled me as if I were as delicate as crystal.

"Thanks." I looked up to see him staring at Carlisle and nodding.

"Why don't you come with me?" Esme asked, rushing forward to meet us at the bottom of the path.

"I'm fine," I reiterated. "I'm not that fragile."

"Aren't you?" Edward muttered beside me, so low I wasn't sure he'd meant me to hear. "I'll walk her in, Esme. Then I'm off to … take care of some things."

"No!" I cried. "Stay with me."

"I won't be going alone," he soothed, knowing my fear. "Carlisle will be with me."

Good. Though there was no way he'd stay home—even with my begging—with Carlisle there, Edward's anger wouldn't get the best of him. However, since the incident before had involved me, Edward would be irrational. Carlisle would be sure to reason with him. Truthfully, he was the only one who could.

A sigh left my lips before I could control it. "So you'll get him off the streets, but he won't be harmed?"

"Don't worry about that, Bella," Edward said. "Everything will be taken care of."

"But—"

"I won't… hurt him. I cannot let you care for a murderer. But leaving him free to attack again can't be the right thing either." He pulled up abruptly, stopping us both, and stood directly before me. "The less you are involved, the better it is for everyone."

What did that mean? Surely Carlisle wouldn't condone violence, no matter the crime. And those guys had only frightened me; they hadn't done any real damage… at least nothing physical.

I looked into his eyes. "I know you'll do what's right." I couldn't ask him not to go. Someone needed to stop them, and Carlisle would be the best to deal with him. Carlisle wouldn't find him without Edward. It was only logical.

I hated logic.

He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me. "I will make it safe."

"I know," I mumbled into his chest. "I just wish you didn't… " have to leave. I couldn't finish the statement, disgusted at my own neediness. Once he left—once I no longer had to worry about staying strong for him—I would fall apart. I would have to push myself to piece together another part of my past, perhaps a darker part. When the dam broke and the images that had plagued me for months came again… if the nightmare began while I was awake, would I be able to step out from under it?

He squeezed me to him, then released me into Esme's waiting arms. "Goodbye, love. I'll be back soon."

"Please stay safe." I ducked my head, trying to hide the roiling emotions.

"Always."

The door closed a moment later.

"How about a nice mug of hot chocolate?" Esme squeezed my shoulder.

A warm drink wouldn't fix anything, but it would be welcome. I looked to up behind me, catching her eye and nodded.

"Will you be all right?"

"I'm fine," I mumbled, nowhere near convincing myself. I was alone now, even with Esme so close. The memories I'd been fighting could come—in fact, I needed to make sure to relive them prior to Edward's return.

Needing to sit, I ambled over to a couch before plopping down. I sat for a second, before I called out to Esme. "You know, I don't really want anything to drink. I think I'm just going to go up to my room." I could feel the inevitable images and eventual tears just over the horizon; I could wait no longer.

Her head popped through the door. "Are you sure, sweetheart?"

I nodded, probably with too much oomph. "Yeah. I'm tired, and I still have to work on my paper for school." It was as good an excuse as any.

"Oh," she replied, a confused expression on her face. "Well, enjoy."

I strained out a laugh. "Yeah, Shakespeare and misogyny, a winning combination."

She chuckled—a sound just as fake as mine had been. "Will you want to eat?"

"No, I had something before we left."

"Maybe a snack later?"

I couldn't blame her for pushing. She had my best interest at heart.

"Maybe," I answered, knowing I wouldn't be up for food.

I trudged upstairs, a dead woman walking. Sure, I wanted to face my fears, to relive what I was afraid would be horror, but I didn't want to _race_ toward it.

All too soon I reached the third floor, coming to a stop before my room. I turned to look at Edward's door, wishing I'd had the guts to break down when he was near. I could have used his compassion, the shelter he always brought, but some things needed to be done on my own.

Without looking, I grabbed the knob and twisted, walking into the darkened room. There was no need to turn on the light. I knew where the chaise was, and the dark was comforting, a security blanket. I thought about this evening, my walk through the streets of Port Angeles, the encroaching dark. I drowned in the fear, once again coming to the realization that I'd been herded, allowing that the overwhelming helplessness to hit me. It all mirrored something— a burry reflection of a past that was all but lost to me. Though I'd much rather have lived in the lighter sides of my former life, I needed to bring even the darker sides back. I couldn't be whole without it.

The man I kept flashing to, the one who had been the star of my recurring nightmares—I was sure that they were the same—had to have been part of my life before, but who?

I scoured my mind, delving deeper into recesses that left me with nothing. Yet still I tried. Now that I was ready, I had to _fight_ to relive the nightmare. How ironic.

I sifted through the blurry dreams I'd had on occasion, picturing the outline of the brown-haired man, his bare shoulders, his broad back. He was on a small bed—a twin. As the image pulled back, I could see that he was laying on someone. Pale, shapely legs wrapped around his hips, the feet resting on his thighs. I couldn't see who the girl was, but I could make out the rhythmic movement of his hips.

Then the image disappeared. I growled in frustration, plopping down on the chaise. The rough material grazed my arms, raising goose bumps. The night was colder than I expected, and I rolled to my side and grabbed the blanket on the back of the chair. After wrapping it over me, a cocoon— safety—I pushed myself to remember yet again. I needed to know. No matter how I wished I could ignore the negatives of my past, they all seemed to push themselves out at the worst times. Perhaps if I forced them to come, I could control the circumstances.

I relived as much of the nightmare that was available to me: the image of the man writhing above the woman, his hands roaming over her body, touching everywhere. Her legs tightened around his hips pulling him closer.

He spoke. His voice was low, the words impossible to decipher.

She replied. Shock filled me at the sound. I knew her voice. But how could that be? How was that possible?

Instantly, I was sucked into the vision—a participant, no longer an observer. The man—no, boy I realized now that I could focus on his face—kissed my bare shoulder, one hand holding my right above my head, the other on my hip, moving me in time with his motions. I could feel him against me, _feel_ his excitement through the cloth of his boxers.

The other person in my nightmare was me. I was the woman—or perhaps girl, if I was to judge by the boy's age.

He pulled back to look at me. "C'mon, baby." His other hand brought mine to meet the one above my head. Looking down, he spoke again. "We've been together for so long. And you know I love you."

His eyes burned my skin as he stared at me. Still… "I don't know," I whispered, my voice breathy. "I'm… um, I'm not sure."

"Bella?" The voice confused me. It had no place with what was happening. I looked around the room, unable to make anything out but dark shapes and the boy above me.

The vision rushed forward, skipping ahead and once again I was a spectator. The boy became more forceful. His movements frightened me. He was no longer sweet but almost violent, purposeful. And I was not ready for that purpose. Fear filled me as I closed my eyes, trying to decide what to do to make him stop.

"Stop, Jay—I"

"Bella?" That voice again. Only this time it ripped me from the swamp of my dream.

When I opened my eyes, I was not where I expected. Instead of being on that small twin bed in the darkened unfamiliar space, I was on a chaise in the bright light of my room. A figure knelt down beside me.

"E-Esme?" I croaked.

"Yes, dear." She reached toward my face, ignoring how I recoiled. "Are you all right?"

As the words left her mouth, I realized that I was not okay. Wave after wave of scenes from _that_ night hit me.

It was real.

He was my boyfriend.

I trusted him.

My parents trusted him.

He had betrayed that trust in the vilest of ways.

I shook my head in answer to her question. "No. I'm not. I remember something. Something I wish had never happened."

She shook her head, then pulled me into her embrace. The cold arms around me were not the ones I wanted, but I was thankful for them anyway.

"I wish I could help," she whispered.

"No one can." Why had I pushed myself for this? Why had I wanted this?

I pulled away from her shoulder, noticing wet spots on her usually immaculate blouse. My cheek was wet, my nose stuffy. Had I been crying since before I woke or had the waterworks just begun? Had my body already realized what my mind just now understood?

"What did you remember?" she asked.

"I—I don't want to. No." I shook my head, then covered my eyes.

"It might help to let it out."

Maybe she was right. After a stuttering breath, I tried to explain.

"It was a boyfriend I had when I was a kid. I don't know much, but we'd been together for a while… I think." I looked away.

"It wasn't good. _We_ weren't good. He was…"

Abusive? Could I say that? No.

"It just wasn't good. One night, I was alone in my house. My parents weren't home—I think they went away or something—and he came over."

My breath caught as I got to the part I really didn't want to tell.

"I'm here, sweetheart," Esme coaxed, squeezing my hand.

"I don't really remember many of the specifics. It's kind of like I was watching most of it." I snorted, my breath catching again.

"It's okay. If you don't want to continue, you don't have to."

Did I? No, but I had to. I needed to rid myself of this poison. Even as I told the brief version, more of my time with the boy was rushing back to me.

"I should." I looked to my window, staring blankly at the darkness outside. "So he… took advantage, I guess. He forced me… um, he took – he." I closed my eyes. "I can't say it. I—I just can't. It'll be too real if I do."

I heard her take a deep breath before she spoke again. "There's no need, dear." The understanding and reciprocal pain in her voice took me by surprise. "I know more about things like this than you realize."

I sniffed in response, unable to find the energy to even nod.

"It may not be exactly the same, but I've been through abuse, Bella." She rubbed my shoulders, quietly soothing me. "I'm here if you need. Please talk to me. Keeping it a secret won't help."

I moved my head, to look her in the eyes.

As I opened my mouth to speak, a soft voice called from the hall. "I'll take this, Esme." It was a sound I rarely heard, one I _never_ expected to hear. I hadn't even known she was home. But when her blonde head appeared through the doorway, there was no way I could deny who it was.

Rosalie.

* * *

Uh oh! The bitch is back?

Thanks for reading.

bs


End file.
